Planning with a group that isn't excited. Advice?

sophies*mom

A dream is a wish your heart makes.
Joined
Jun 17, 2011
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Our trip to DLR is still quite a ways away, (April 30-May 3 2012) so I know that this is definitely a part of the lack of excitement in the group that I'm going with.

My husband and I are taking our (by then) 2yo and our friends are coming with their 4 kids who will be 11, 8, 5 and 2 when we go. NONE of them have ever gone before. I have been 8 or 9 times (lost count!) and I LOVE going. Because our group is big and they've never been, I'm trying my best to help familiarize them with the parks and attractions. We are needing to start planning and saving soon since our friends have a bigger family and will of course be paying more and aren't exactly sure what they'll need to save for (or what they'll want to spend their money on).

My problem is including them in the planning. Obviously I think it's exciting to plan what to do and where to eat and all that, but I don't want this trip being just what I want to do. I want them to have some input but everyone is basically telling me that they trust me and will just do whatever I say. As much as I like that in one respect--no butting heads on which land we should do first or what rides are better than others--this is our vacation, not just mine.

I've started to back off about talking about the trip so much since we still have several months before needing to book our hotel and buy tickets, but I don't have anyone to share my excitement :sad1:

Anybody been in my shoes? I'm compiling menus and lists and just doing fun little things to pass the time til the real planning starts, but I don't want to disappoint them! :sad2:
 
Our trip to DLR is still quite a ways away, (April 30-May 3 2012) so I know that this is definitely a part of the lack of excitement in the group that I'm going with.

My husband and I are taking our (by then) 2yo and our friends are coming with their 4 kids who will be 11, 8, 5 and 2 when we go. NONE of them have ever gone before. I have been 8 or 9 times (lost count!) and I LOVE going. Because our group is big and they've never been, I'm trying my best to help familiarize them with the parks and attractions. We are needing to start planning and saving soon since our friends have a bigger family and will of course be paying more and aren't exactly sure what they'll need to save for (or what they'll want to spend their money on).

My problem is including them in the planning. Obviously I think it's exciting to plan what to do and where to eat and all that, but I don't want this trip being just what I want to do. I want them to have some input but everyone is basically telling me that they trust me and will just do whatever I say. As much as I like that in one respect--no butting heads on which land we should do first or what rides are better than others--this is our vacation, not just mine.

I've started to back off about talking about the trip so much since we still have several months before needing to book our hotel and buy tickets, but I don't have anyone to share my excitement :sad1:

Anybody been in my shoes? I'm compiling menus and lists and just doing fun little things to pass the time til the real planning starts, but I don't want to disappoint them! :sad2:

I just took a trip with my best friend from college. I did all the planning (it was my birthday trip.) She wasn't very excited until a couple of weeks before we went. I would say do your planning since that is what you enjoy doing and then when it gets closer hopefully they will start to get more excited as well. I would give them some basic estimates as far as prices go so they can start saving but otherwise I would let it be for awhile. Sometimes planning a trip so far away and being so excited just leads to a let down when the time actually comes. I personally only PLAN my trips a couple months out as otherwise I go crazy waiting for it to come!
 
Oh yes sophies*mom, its the story of my life. My husband talks a bit about our plans but my daughter is impossible. I end up doing all the planning, and I must say I do tend to obsess. We have travelled to both DL and WDW quite a few times with my sister and her family and they are not interested in the planning, I usually end up driving them mad trying to talk to them about the plans. So try to include your friends but don't let them spoil your fun planning your holiday. :surfweb:
 
Sometimes planning a trip so far away and being so excited just leads to a let down when the time actually comes.
Very true! Something I definitely want to avoid.

So try to include your friends but don't let them spoil your fun planning your holiday.

Thanks :goodvibes They are excited about it in general but I can't get them to really want to talk about it in detail. Maybe that's my OCD kicking in!! I am a planner by nature :rolleyes1
 
Well you can share all your ideas with us! It's one of the best things about this board. We all love planning to last detail.

I'm tend to obsess too, so when I'm planning a trip I just hang out here.

No one in my family is usually excited as I am especially that far out. Just give it time they will get there.
 
I totally understand !

I am always the only one excited when we go with family.
They just don't get the magic like I do. :wizard:
They just think about the money, the heat, and the lines.

So, I don't go with them anymore ! Ha ha Just kidding.
They do start getting excited right before the trip. So, at that point when they have tons of questions, I am ready with ALL the answers !

Only my children understand the love of Disney, like I do. :cloud9:

So, that is why I love the Dis boards, because all of you understand my excitement about my next trip, whether it's next month or next year.
Thanks everyone ! :grouphug:
 
Some people are planners, some are not. Since they've never been to Disneyland, *gasp* they wouldn't even know where to start, so they're probably happy to have you do the planning. No pressure! You've been enough to know what you're doing, so you'll do great! Not to mention, you hang out here, so you'll have all the secrets, tips, etc, you need!!
 
I'm kinda like that, too. I've found that I can go ahead and do my planning, but only mention things to them about 1/4 of the time that I'm tempted to - and end up not annoying them too much. If I mention things even half as much as I'd like, they get really annoyed!
 
I can totally understand your frustration at the lack of excitement but, like others have mentioned, planning isn't for some folks. And maybe since the trip is a little down the line, they don't want to get all excited just yet. It's that Hurry Up And WAIT.

As far as the planning, have you asked them if they would like you to plan the trip? You may not want to feeling that it is everyone's trip, not just yours. However, let me offer you some personal experience. I went to NYC in 1999. Had never been there and it all seemed so overwhelming to me that I just kinda tucked my head in the sand and didn't want to look up. Luckily I had a friend who had been there a few times and she took the lead. Let me tell you, without my friend doing all of the planning, my trip would not have been half of what it was. She had the knowledge and experience of what was to be seen, what could be missed and how to navigate through everything. She basically gave us a touring plan of NYC for 3 days and because of her planning, I got to see everything I wanted to see.

You are that person to your friend's for Disneyland. I don't know how long you are staying for but if you will have a few days I would suggest that you take the lead, plan out at least one day for them... the best "must not miss" rides, where to have meals, stuff like that. But also make sure to plan in a day or two when things are just left not so planned out. But I think having you "show them the ropes" of the park would actually be quite welcoming to them. As someone who has not been there and reading through these boards, it's a very overwhelming place to vacation.
 
My wife is certainly like that... I'm joining her next month after a conference for 3 full days in DL and she's talking about going to the beach or LA sightseeing... I'm talking about 3 days in the parks... Never been to DL, been to WDW every year (sometimes multiple times) since 1984.

She thinks about the $$ too much...
 
You are that person to your friend's for Disneyland. I don't know how long you are staying for but if you will have a few days I would suggest that you take the lead, plan out at least one day for them... the best "must not miss" rides, where to have meals, stuff like that. But also make sure to plan in a day or two when things are just left not so planned out. But I think having you "show them the ropes" of the park would actually be quite welcoming to them. As someone who has not been there and reading through these boards, it's a very overwhelming place to vacation.

Exactly! I know that my friend is super-excited, she's just a HORRIBLE planner. Always has been. As long as I've known her, I've always been put in charge of planning.

I've started to back off about talking about the trip so much since we still have several months before needing to book our hotel and buy tickets, but I don't have anyone to share my excitement :sad1:

I hear you loud and clear! Like I said, I know my friend is super-excited and that we'll have a great time (we did WDW last year, and she has no problem acting like a kid which, really, is when you have the most fun). She's not a planner, but I am, and as a planner I always want to share my planning-excitement. We're just lucky that we have the DIS here to keep us sane and happy:grouphug:
 
Having fun planning to your heart's content, even if that's not their thing. They will be super grateful you did so much work and you'll have twice as much fun. Planning and going.

That's been my experience anyway.
 
Thanks everyone!! I am definitely grateful for the DIS especially since I discovered it not that long ago! :cool1:

I appreciate everyone's feedback. I know my husband has said he'll get more excited once it gets closer to the time, but right now whenever I talk about it he always says, "How much is it going to cost me?" :rotfl:

I have discovered so many cool things here and I guess I'll just take advantage of it and all of you!
 
My family is the same way..I want to talk about all my plans, asked them what do they want to do...All I get for feedback is " Disneyland talk again?" Then when the time comes and we are in the parks...they are so grateful to get to do everything and have a great time. That is why I love the disboards....someone who understands my obession! :yay:
 
Plan here! But you do want it to be their trip too, so... one thing you could ask them is to pick one thing - ride, meal, show...that they'd like to do on their first day. Casually, when you see them.

Later you can ask them for another thing... add that to the plan.

That's low stress for them, and gives you something to work from.

Later on, you could send a few teasers out - I have gone to the Disney sign maker (can't remember the site but someone here will) - put the names of visitors on it, and sent it to them electronically. That's always well received.

When touring with others (especially with the range of ages) it's quite good to leave unstructured time, or alternatives. Eg Tuesday we're planning on starting early, and finishing around noon - maybe that will suit you too...or we can meet for lunch. That kind of thing. Gives you the change to plan enough for you...

sure you'll have a great time.
 
LOVE farmfresh's idea of asking them casually what they'd like to do!

Along those lines, I would try to make plans based on what THEY like. My friend and I (regulars) went with her mom (I don't think she had been in YEARS) and we planned things that we figured we all wanted to do. She had an EXCELLENT time (some of that was serendipity--I didn't know she'd enjoy seeing the princesses!) and actually thanked us for showing her such fun.

The one thing we did that I hadn't planned far advance was waiting in line for Pixie Hollow. I knew she liked fairies but had no idea how much she ADORED Tinkerbell. She wasn't even aware of Pixie Hollow and when I suggested it, she was kind of embarrassed. But between the fact that I'd always thought it would be kinda interesting to go through :#/ and her love of Tinkerbell, I finally insisted we did it. A good time was had by all, and especially her mom, who was so delighted! My friend and I ended up buying a Disney Fairies keyring/cell phone charm set (could go either way) and her mom bought...considerably more, LOL.
 
Farmfresh, I like the way you think!!

Eeee-va-I haven't been since they opened up Pixie Hollow. How does it work? Is it only a line to meet the fairies or can little ones go in and explore? I'd love to get the girls to meet the fairies. My daughter who is not quite a year and a half old loves Tinkerbell aka "Berbel"! That would be fun but I'm not one to wait an hour to meet a character.

Thanks for all the great suggestions!
 
Eeee-va-I haven't been since they opened up Pixie Hollow. How does it work? Is it only a line to meet the fairies or can little ones go in and explore? I'd love to get the girls to meet the fairies. My daughter who is not quite a year and a half old loves Tinkerbell aka "Berbel"! That would be fun but I'm not one to wait an hour to meet a character.

Thanks for all the great suggestions!

If she loves Tinkerbell, IMO it is worth the wait. You can probably do it in 30-45 minutes, and you generally get to meet 2, or occasionally 3, fairies.

It's just a line during the day, but at night you can walk through the area. It's kind of like a garden area with a walkway over water and statutes of the fairies, and at the end they have the meet and greet areas (not sure if you can still access those at night but you could when we went). At night there's usually a LITTLE water/light show every either 15 or 30 minutes.
 
Farmfresh, I like the way you think!!

I'm laughing now! One of the reasons I think this way is...my family all thought I was mad when we (oops I mean 'I") planned the first trip. (husband: Gate 13? Really? half an hour before opening? Are you sure?Peter Pan first?etc etc) When they got here, and saw the lines, and how much there was to do...well..put it this way, they don't think I 'm mad now!

Have organized trips with friends, like you, and they ended up thinking the same thing.Seems we obsessive planners have to wait for our rewards!:rotfl2:
 
Actually let me add one thing... a friend is heading to Disneyworld the same time we are going to be in DLR...told her about DIS, gave her a few hints, but...sigh...she currently thinks I am mad.... :rotfl:
 





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