Pinocchio: How Corporate Filth Finally Broke My Heart- an essay

[Timandalicia]

Even though we always stay at a Disney Resort, we still take the monorail from the TTC to Magic Kingdom. It is because it feels like you are being whisked away to a magical island. When the castle comes into view I start singing, “When You Wish Upon a Star”, as if it was spontaneously inspired by the majesty of the sites in front of me.

I sing that song particularly because it is what played during the title sequence of The Wonderful World of Disney tv show. I watched it weekly and dreamed of going there as the song would play and images of the most magical place on Earth were revealed in a montage.

I have been full on Disney my whole life, and when Disney Plus day came, I couldn’t be more excited (mind you I’m a 50 year-old man). The first thing I did was look for the discount on my resort for this year’s holiday trip! But there wasn’t one. I could get the Grand Floridian for $900 a night instead of it’s usual $1100, but no Beach Club discount. “That’s okay,” said the unshakable me. At least we will have the most magical family night ever! Live action Pinocchio!

Maybe it’s because it wasn’t released in the theater, maybe it’s because there is so much content coming at us all of the time, or maybe it’s because the term Disney has now been stretched from a galaxy far far away all the way to the quantum realm: stretched out so much that it poofs into pixie dust as soon as its uttered. Whatever the reason, my kids were not interested in watching Pinocchio. Remember, these are the same kids I’ve been brainwashing for years, the same way Walt and co. brainwashed me. In the old days nothing could stop us from the new release.

Is that it? Is this where it ends? Now what am I supposed to do? I’m the one who laughs at all those who fall away as the corporate curtain gets pulled back, exposing them to the backside of magic. I always knew what this was. Did my kids grow out of it? Was I supposed to sprinkle a pinch of cynicism in the fantasy to keep them from feeling this way?

Well, I guess there is only one thing to do now. Spend $15000 for a week long trip and find out where they stand. Wish me luck.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I wouldn't be too disheartened. Most people just don't like live action versions of animated stories, there is something about real people that just bursts the magical bubble. There are lots of fun live stories I enjoy like Hocus Pocus, but I can't think of a single one that was a cartoon and switched to live action that I liked, unless it's a real life play in the parks or something. Truly, new in park shows would have much better value and people would line up. If I were in a predicament where I was forced into watching a live action it might actually annoy me into a bad mood, however, I think your solution of a nice trip would be an easy solution. Maybe just ask them why they didn't like the sort of thing it is, there is a reason people stay away and I often wonder how these studios are talked into these projects.

 

[slo]

My DD19 is a HUGE Disney fan and she is not interested in seeing the live action Pinocchio . It has nothing to do with her liking or not liking Disney - it’s just not a story she’s interested in. Now, if there was a live action Princess and the Frog, Moana, Tangled or more, she’d be glued to the TV - these are stories from her childhood. She may watch this new Pinocchio sometime, but it will never be a priority for her to watch over something else.

 

[mamabunny]

My DD19 is a HUGE Disney fan and she is not interested in seeing the live action Pinocchio . It has nothing to do with her liking or not liking Disney - it’s just not a story she’s interested in. Now, if there was a live action Princess and the Frog, Moana, Tangled or more, she’d be glued to the TV - these are stories from her childhood. She may watch this new Pinocchio sometime, but it will never be a priority for her to watch over something else.

This.

We have kids in our extended family who have never seen the "original" animated Pinocchio... and despite all of our best efforts, they just aren't interested in this new live-action version. The story does not resonate with them because they are not familiar with it. Like so many of the Disney classics that I grew up with, Pinocchio has been in the vault more than it's been out, and so I would hazard a guess that there are a lot of folks who just aren't as familiar with it as they are the older "princess" movies that Disney has kept front and center.

I personally felt like the casting was inspired, and loved every minute of it, but I am a Certified Old Lady ™ so what do I know?

 

[nw6675]

I concur with the PPs. My daughter has no interest in the live action adaptations. Sadly, she hardly has use for the animated these days. She loves Disney, but if it weren't for Veizon including + in our plan, we would not subscribe.

 

[Colleen27]

I'm still a pretty die hard Disney fan but I couldn't be less interested in all these live action money grabs. Please, for the love of God, bring back original storytelling and creativity! Maybe take a sliver of the budget that is paying for film adaptations of obscure Marvel comics and give it over to the animation studios. They've nailed their last few originals - Encanto, Moana and Coco are all every bit as good if not better than the iconic Disney musicals of my youth (the Little Mermaid/Beauty and the Beast/Lion King era). But I have no interest in seeing rehashings of old stories, especially when "live action" really means CGI because half (or all, in the case of the Lion King) of the characters aren't human to begin with.

To me, the live action adaptation trend is the modern version of all the straight-to-video sequels they churned out in the 90s - an easy way to cash in on well-known stories but not exactly a recipe for good films.

 

[mom2rtk]

I’m a huge Disney fan and have no interest in the live action remakes. Maybe your kids are onto something.

 

[DeeBee3]

My little daughter was really into it (don't recall if she saw the original though) and the rest of us liked it. I think it's just a personal thing. I prefer animation to the new "live action" like so many others have mentioned. I still enjoy it though.

 

[Smugpugmug]

I'm a massive Disney fan and I do not care about the live action remakes at all. They are soulless cash grabs that bank on nostalgia rather than trying to make a good movie and they do not even come close to the original movies they're remaking. They very much remind me of the direct to video sequels Disney was making in the late 90s- mid 2000s. I would be more on board with them if they tried to do something new with these films like the Jungle Book (which was still a meh movie) but more often than not, they're retelling the same story we already know, but worse. I'm not surprised in any way that Pinocchio turned out to be mediocre. The Guillermo del Toro Pinocchio movie that is coming out soon looks WAY better.

 

[PezRuth]

I cannot stand Pinocchio in any form so will not be watching.

 

[MamaMermaid]

I cannot stand Pinocchio in any form so will not be watching.

Agreed.

Pinocchio and Dumbo are two IPs I've never enjoyed and won't watch again - in any form.

OP, I'm sorry you were disappointed. I'm sure your kids love Disney - with or without Pinocchio!

 

[PezRuth]

Agreed.

Pinocchio and Dumbo are two IPs I've never enjoyed and won't watch again - in any form.

OP, I'm sorry you were disappointed. I'm sure your kids love Disney - with or without Pinocchio!

and Dumbo. I also really don't like Bambi.

 

[BrianL]

I'm a massive Disney fan and I do not care about the live action remakes at all. They are soulless cash grabs that bank on nostalgia rather than trying to make a good movie and they do not even come close to the original movies they're remaking. They very much remind me of the direct to video sequels Disney was making in the late 90s- mid 2000s. I would be more on board with them if they tried to do something new with these films like the Jungle Book (which was still a meh movie) but more often than not, they're retelling the same story we already know, but worse. I'm not surprised in any way that Pinocchio turned out to be mediocre. The Guillermo del Toro Pinocchio movie that is coming out soon looks WAY better.

Yeah, I like the ones where they try to do something different - turn the story on it's ear a bit - Maleficent and Dumbo are both great but they don't stay too close to the originals at all. Of course, the ones that make more money are the shot-for-shot remakes - so remember everyone, we shouldn't blame Disney for this, we should blame ourselves!

 

[Minnesota!]

The only part of Disney I actually like is the parks, and now that has dwindled to 2 parks and the resorts. The movies hold no interest for me, either.

You can love Disney without loving ALLLL of Disney.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I’m another one who doesn’t care for live action and it appealed even less to me as a kid. I remember wanting some movie on VHS, Peter Pan I think it was, and my grandmother bought it for me as a birthday gift or something. But, it was the live-action version and I remember being really confused like, “Why would anyone think this is the version a kid was asking for?” I never watched it and gave it away to a friend who was willing to take it.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Pinocchio and Dumbo are two IPs I've never enjoyed and won't watch again - in any form...

...I also really don't like Bambi.

You are my people!


OP - I also agree with the folks who said live action remakes pale in comparison to the animated originals I do actually like.

Your trip will be fun, even without the movie-night lead-up.

 

[Smugpugmug]

Yeah, I like the ones where they try to do something different - turn the story on it's ear a bit - Maleficent and Dumbo are both great but they don't stay too close to the originals at all. Of course, the ones that make more money are the shot-for-shot remakes - so remember everyone, we shouldn't blame Disney for this, we should blame ourselves!

Yup and that's why I don't go see them when they're in theaters or Disney+. I don't want Disney to keep making these low effort remakes so I won't give them my money. I can't wait to see how they make Little Mermaid, Hercules and Lilo and Stitch worse. /s

 

[BrianL]

Yup and that's why I don't go see them when they're in theaters or Disney+. I don't want Disney to keep making these low effort remakes so I won't give them my money. I can't wait to see how they make Little Mermaid, Hercules and Lilo and Stitch worse. /s

Yup. I will only watch the ones that are radical departures. When they did a string of "remakes" in the 90's they at least tried to make the stories different - modernize them, etc. (I al talking about things like 101 Dalmations or Flubber). A new take can alwasy be welcomed, but the literal shot-for-shot translations are so pointless, especially when the original is something on the calibre of Beauty and the Beast or The Lion King - absolute masterpeices! I'm up for a crazy take though, like Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland (technically a sequel), or the immensly stylish and kinda bizzare Cruella (MUCH better than I expected it to be) - more like those, please!

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Yup and that's why I don't go see them when they're in theaters or Disney+. I don't want Disney to keep making these low effort remakes so I won't give them my money. I can't wait to see how they make Little Mermaid, Hercules and Lilo and Stitch worse. /s

That’s a tall order.

 

[Mysterian]

I'm not big on the live action remakes, they're typically due to Disney execs going for an easy cash-grab, and it shows.

I'm kinda interested in this Pinocchio because Bob Zemeckis is directing. He's done some great stuff, though I didn't care for his version of A Christmas Carol.

I'm more interested in the Pinocchio by Guillermo Del Toro, as there's bound to be different territory there. The original Pinocchio character in literature was not at all appealing, but then Caillou proves you can be unappealing yet garner popularity at the same time.

the term Disney has now been stretched from a galaxy far far away all the way to the quantum realm: stretched out so much that it poofs into pixie dust as soon as its uttered.

I get the references to Marvel and Star Wars, but you're missing a Pixar reference in this line.

"...stretched from a galaxy far far away all the way to the quantum realm: stretched out to infinity and beyond..."
Or whatever.