People backing out...

[kj2mom]

I have not been on a vacation in 9 years. We decided to ask exMIL for her time share to spend the 4th of July with my children's twin friends who will be turning 13 on the 4th. MIL got us a place for $500, we all said yes. When the confirmation came it said sleeps 6 but we needed 8. She found us one for 8 for $700. Both families agreed and I sent the $700 to MIL. My friend sent me $438 (they are 5 people) and we were good to go. A month later the other family decided they wanted to stay on property. I had to send back her money and now we have a 3 bedroom timeshare that sleeps 8 for just the 3 of us. We only see these friends a few times a year (we live 5 hours away) and we saw them last month, it was sooo hard. They have the dining plan, they could book their FP at 60 days and when we saw them all they did was complain about the 5 of them squishing into POR while we have full kitchen/laundry etc. I have been trying to work through my feelings because I don't want to ruin the trip for my kids. In the end we will be at Disney World and our trip will be what we make it (even if their decision is costing me hundreds of dollars and we lost the fun of having us all stay together)!

 

[DebbieB]

They should have called you to discuss it rather than send a text.

 

[dallastxcpa]

I've got friends that have casually suggested from time to time that they'd like to accompany us, but I won't do it. About the only people I'd consider going with aside from my family are other Disney nuts, otherwise I'd spend the whole trip worrying if they were having a good time. And going through the OPs experience would just kill me!

Try having family invite themselves and then tell you they have no plans to actually spend any time with you.

 

[disnut8]

Ah come on, we also have Warren Buffet!

And during those 11 years in Nebraska, the company I worked for was sold to Warren Buffet so, I worked for Warren Buffet! And was there when he visited the building. Totally off topic.

 

[TXAKDisneyFan]

Posts like the ones in this thread are part of the reason I kind of cringe when I read about people planning trips for their friends (stalking MDE for hard-to-get ADRs and FP+, etc.). It seems like when people are so far removed from the planning process, they don't form an appreciation of how hard it is to get certain reservations and how much time and energy go into planning the trip. That seems to make canceling or changing the dates of a trip much easier from their point of view.

I have absolutely no problem helping people out and giving them guides on what rides to FP, when to make ADRs, etc etc etc. But I don't think I would act as a personal travel agent for anyone but my immediate family and my parents (besides, there are plenty of real travel agents who will plan WDW trips for them for free). It would be frustrating finding those hard-to-get reservations, just to have someone change their mind.

I also realize that when actually traveling with others, one needs to make reservations including the whole group. That's why we carefully pick and choose who to travel with, and why I would absolutely involve others in the planning so they gain an appreciation for how much work it is.

 

[I M Fearless]

I've got friends that have casually suggested from time to time that they'd like to accompany us, but I won't do it. About the only people I'd consider going with aside from my family are other Disney nuts, otherwise I'd spend the whole trip worrying if they were having a good time. And going through the OPs experience would just kill me!

I agree, going with people who are not all that excited about Disney would potentially ruin it for me. I love the planning, I want people who are excited when I say I've snagged an 8:05am sitting at Crystal Palace on a non EMH MK day 6 months in the future.

 

[Sargeant Tibbs]

Try having family invite themselves and then tell you they have no plans to actually spend any time with you.

Ouch!

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

If it were me I'd switch to the resort I want and if they do come they can stay at a different resort. I travel with many many family and friends and it goes like this:
I stay at the resort I want, I eat where I want, I go to the parks when I want. I do not change my vacation for them. Yes, I do try to coordinate, but I will never give up what I like. For example: We were all taking and afternoon break and I was ready to head to the MK with my family. The other group said they are not ready and expected me to wait as they wanted to go together. I stated I'm leaving in 10 minutes and just meet me there later.

 

[Jeannie in NJ]

The only person we have ever taken with us outside of myself, dh and our 2 kids is my sister in law. We stayed GF Club Level. My sil gets up very early, we do not. She would go have breakfast and then head over to MK. my dd and I would meet her an hour or 2 later, my dh would meet us several hours later (he likes to sleep in late) and my son stayed at the resort and enjoyed pool. My sil was happy with whatever we wanted to do, as in what places to eat, what parks to go to, she was the best traveling WDW companion and she is always welcome to come with us. If fact, when we move to Orlando in 2 years, we told her we will have a room with her name on it to come visit anytime .

 

[Lisann]

I understand your frustration. We have family members who keep changing their mind all the time, and it can drive one nuts!

I agree with a previous poster...give them a specific date to which they must adhere, a date that you know you will get a definitive answer. It's only fair and courteous to you, and will make them understand that you need just a smidgen of structure when it comes to planning a vacation. Don't apologize for the cutoff date either.

 

[Jadyreen1282]

My brother does this all the time. We plan the vacation then he changes resorts to some Foo Foo joint. Then we don't see each other.

Oh well I say. Make the trip yours.

 

[DisneyFive]

I have not been on a vacation in 9 years. We decided to ask exMIL for her time share to spend the 4th of July with my children's twin friends who will be turning 13 on the 4th. MIL got us a place for $500, we all said yes. When the confirmation came it said sleeps 6 but we needed 8. She found us one for 8 for $700. Both families agreed and I sent the $700 to MIL. My friend sent me $438 (they are 5 people) and we were good to go. A month later the other family decided they wanted to stay on property. I had to send back her money and now we have a 3 bedroom timeshare that sleeps 8 for just the 3 of us. We only see these friends a few times a year (we live 5 hours away) and we saw them last month, it was sooo hard. They have the dining plan, they could book their FP at 60 days and when we saw them all they did was complain about the 5 of them squishing into POR while we have full kitchen/laundry etc. I have been trying to work through my feelings because I don't want to ruin the trip for my kids. In the end we will be at Disney World and our trip will be what we make it (even if their decision is costing me hundreds of dollars and we lost the fun of having us all stay together)!

Crazy!!! You shouldn't have had to pay back their full amount! They were costing you more to begin with due to their party size, and now when they back out they want you to have to pay for a place that sleeps 8, when you only need a place that sleeps 3 or 4? Sounds like you can't switch to a smaller size at this point, but I would have been very clear that their decision is costing you money as mentioned. You are paying $200, at least, more that you should. ($500 vs $700) I would have explained that to them and held that portion back. Only fair.

Dan

 

[danny1649]

Hi Disers,I really agree this is bad situation.This thread is going to be moved to board where it is a better fit. Danny

 

[maltdizzy]

I hate coordinating with others. Even to go out to lunch/dinner at home, I refuse to try and accommodate more than 5 or 6 people, otherwise it never happens or someone whines.

With vacations, we won't travel "with," we'll "meet up." That means we'll happily overlap a few days (max.) so our son gets to play with others his age. But that also gives us (and the others) a few days to do everything at our own pace without having to accommodate. And it's up to the others to book travel, hotel, tickets, etc. for themselves. I will happily give advice and answer all questions about scheduling, strategy, etc...but I won't do the work for them.

 

[disney-inspired]

I never vacation outside my immediate family for some of the reasons mentioned here and others. I hope everything works out so you can vacation the way YOU like.

I once brought up the idea of doing WDW with a HS friend and then I dropped it because you think you know a person until you travel with them. They can be entirely different people.

Truthfully having them back out might be a good thing. The two times we have gone with another family it sucked. They liked to sleep in, I like to rope drop, their boy ended up wanting to play video games and swim in the pool and not go to the parks and wanted my boys to stay back with him to play. I finally told the mom that I did not pay $1200 for park tickets for my kids to play the same video games they have at home all day. It sucked!

I finally stayed at CBR for the first time in March and I loved it. It might be nice to try something different.

Oh my goodness. I would have been so pissed!

I agree, going with people who are not all that excited about Disney would potentially ruin it for me. I love the planning, I want people who are excited when I say I've snagged an 8:05am sitting at Crystal Palace on a non EMH MK day 6 months in the future.

Yes! I love traveling with Disney enthusiasts.

I hate coordinating with others. Even to go out to lunch/dinner at home, I refuse to try and accommodate more than 5 or 6 people, otherwise it never happens or someone whines.

With vacations, we won't travel "with," we'll "meet up." That means we'll happily overlap a few days (max.) so our son gets to play with others his age. But that also gives us (and the others) a few days to do everything at our own pace without having to accommodate. And it's up to the others to book travel, hotel, tickets, etc. for themselves. I will happily give advice and answer all questions about scheduling, strategy, etc...but I won't do the work for them.

My cousin-in-law wants to do WDW with us sometimes in the future (or at least they think they do) and I just know that I will help them plan their trip by giving information about booking, tickets, FP+, etc. Unless they want me to take full control of the planning, then we will have to tour separately or I would blow a gasket if they just stand around trying to decide what they want to do that day. I don't want to be fiscally responsible for booking their trip because that is too much stress. I would hate for something to go wrong and end up straining our relationship.

I'm down for 'meeting up'. I would probably make the ADRs so we could meet up for meals but touring is based on each family's style and pace.

 

[donnaf516]

And now they may still come...

I gave them a firm cut off date of this Friday. We'll see what happens...

I was originally really excited to travel with them. Since they have never been they were very laid back with planning and told me to schedule our vacation the way we normally would and let them know when & where they should be places. I can't help but be disappointed, I love introducing people to WDW and showing them why we love it. While I didn't change our touring style too much I did try to take their family into consideration.

Now I've decided I really don't care either way. I'll finish up my planning based on my family and if they come they can tag along or do what they want.

 

[maltdizzy]

My cousin-in-law wants to do WDW with us sometimes in the future (or at least they think they do) and I just know that I will help them plan their trip by giving information about booking, tickets, FP+, etc. Unless they want me to take full control of the planning, then we will have to tour separately or I would blow a gasket if they just stand around trying to decide what they want to do that day. I don't want to be fiscally responsible for booking their trip because that is too much stress. I would hate for something to go wrong and end up straining our relationship.

My wife and I call it playing "cruise director" and we refuse to do it. I am not there to plan out and make decisions for others. I have a child...I don't need surrogates.

 

[Jeannie in NJ]

I told dh about this thread today and we tried really hard to come up with the names of any of our friends or family (with exception of sil) that loves or even likes Disney. WE could not come up with anyone, so guess sil will continue to be the only one we ever take with us to WDW.