Paying for extended family on a WDW trip

[Nancyg56]

Stop stressing. As the number cruncher for my family when it came to planning meals, I can assure you it will all work out.

I would discuss the snacks with your SIL, but leave the rest alone. You will be planning the TS meals, so you should be good on that aspect of the plan. When it comes to CS meals, the kids will probably be able to order off of the regular menu now, and I think that there will be that additional snack option rather than dessert. That is good because the meals were a lot to have at one time, even for my hearty eaters. I found that in the beginning of the trip, we all tended to order our own CS meal, but after a day or two.. we all started discussing who wanted to share what. Just watch your credits as the trip goes on, you will know if you need to think about additional OOP funds. I doubt that will even be an issue.

As to the snacks, Figure out how many each person is allotted. Tell them they can use them any way they want, and they much keep track of them. And then let that go. IT is not a lot of thinking involved, even the most relaxed number cruncher can track a snack a day.

I would also add a small grocery order, or pack snack foods to go. Breakfast in the room is a help if you want an early start. You can save your snack credits for ice cream sundaes, and let the kids have treats as breakfast. Cereal bars, granola bars, and oatmeal are quick and easy, and take no room to pack.

 

[Paula Sedley-Burke]

Congrats on your DH being cancer free and what a great family vacation. We also live in the UK. I hear you the currency rate ouch!

Have you got an annual pass any of you? If so it might be worth thinking about tables in wonderland card you can buy. Although you have a dining plan it gets you 20% off any extras and might add. As there are so many of you. It also applies on alochol if anyone likes a drink with dinner.

 

[elaine amj]

Thanks @Nancyg56! My mantra will be "stop stressing, stop stressing, STOP STRESSING!!!" As for tracking snacks, we get 2 per day each person (2017 DDP). Add in my DN3 who is unlikely to be able to consume that many snacks...and we will be in snack overload! Without some form of tracking, even I wouldn't be able to keep track of my own family's 8 snacks per day LOL!

I think once I get my head wrapped around a specific way to handle this, I'll be just fine. I just know that I NEED to track this somehow or I will stress even more. Having a specific plan of attack will calm me down. Otherwise I will have endless numbers whizzing through my head through the whole trip and it will not be fun for me or anyone around me.

Like you suggested, I will be packing some granola bars and a few snacks. Also I'm thinking a bag of cheerios (good for both my DN3 and my 2 teens). I doubt we'll need them much, but they're handy to have. Plus we have a full kitchen so can easily heat up leftovers! My DH does REALLY like full hot breakfasts though so I'm going to be getting him QS breakfasts most days (I often skip breakfasts and both my kids eat light). Not much selection at OKW so I am plotting to take some nice morning walks to SSR to pick up breakfast for everyone some mornings. Everyone can give me their "room service" order the night before haha!

@Paula Thank you!! Its such wonderful news and we are definitely in the mood to celebrate. And where better than in our happy place? I fully sympathize with the currency right now - we live in Canada and our dollar ALSO dropped about 30+%!! Its a good thing we still have a stash of USD that we will be using for this trip so we won't feel the pinch as badly. We actually got the UK free dining deal and with exchange rate, its worked out to be much cheaper than APs/TiW. Especially neither DH or I drink much (and certainly not at Disney prices!). My DB and SIL may have a glass or two here or there but they're not regular drinkers either. Good thing - my last trip was with a friend who insisted on a beer 1-2x a day (she quickly decided Disney wine prices were out of this world!). We were sharing ALL our meals so I ended up having to chip in on all the beer too. I didn't particularly want any (I'm very content with water), but she was pretty insistent on my drinking half of everything too. Oh well, it was only a few days and it only pushed me over my budget by an extra $15-20 for my half. Not worth quibbling over.

 

[Nancyg56]

Thanks @Nancyg56! My mantra will be "stop stressing, stop stressing, STOP STRESSING!!!" As for tracking snacks, we get 2 per day each person (2017 DDP). Add in my DN3 who is unlikely to be able to consume that many snacks...and we will be in snack overload! Without some form of tracking, even I wouldn't be able to keep track of my own family's 8 snacks per day LOL!

I think once I get my head wrapped around a specific way to handle this, I'll be just fine. I just know that I NEED to track this somehow or I will stress even more. Having a specific plan of attack will calm me down. Otherwise I will have endless numbers whizzing through my head through the whole trip and it will not be fun for me or anyone around me.

Like you suggested, I will be packing some granola bars and a few snacks. Also I'm thinking a bag of cheerios (good for both my DN3 and my 2 teens). I doubt we'll need them much, but they're handy to have. My DH does REALLY like full hot breakfasts though so I'm going to be getting him QS breakfasts most days (I often skip breakfasts and both my kids eat light). Not much selection at OKW so I am plotting to take some nice morning walks to SSR to pick up breakfast for everyone some mornings. Everyone can give me their "room service" order the night before haha!

@Paula Thank you!! Its such wonderful news and we are definitely in the mood to celebrate. And where better than in our happy place? I fully sympathize with the currency right now - we live in Canada and our dollar ALSO dropped about 30+%!! Its a good thing we still have a stash of USD that we will be using for this trip so we won't feel the pinch as badly. We actually got the UK free dining deal and with exchange rate, its worked out to be much cheaper than APs/TiW. Especially neither DH or I drink much (and certainly not at Disney prices!). My DB and SIL may have a glass or two here or there but they're not regular drinkers either. Good thing - my last trip was with a friend who insisted on a beer 1-2x a day (she quickly decided Disney wine prices were out of this world!). We were sharing ALL our meals so I ended up having to chip in on all the beer too. I didn't particularly want any (I'm very content with water), but she was pretty insistent on my drinking half of everything too. Oh well, it was only a few days and it only pushed me over my budget by an extra $15-20 for my half. Not worth quibbling over.

My DH likes a full hot breakfast too, so when he is with us, we do have CS or TS breakfasts added into our day.

I like my wine, but last trip a friend was with us, and she had wine with meals, in between meals, and cocktails at the pool, and then could not understand why her bill was high. My DD was taking care of managing all the tips etc, so I did not get walloped at the end of the trip so she got the money back every two or three days. I told her it was not the tips that added up....it was the wine. Ill pay mine, but I am not going to pay everyone else's unless I offer.

ONce you figure out what tracking system works best for you, you will be fine.

 

[elaine amj]

My DH likes a full hot breakfast too, so when he is with us, we do have CS or TS breakfasts added into our day.

I like my wine, but last trip a friend was with us, and she had wine with meals, in between meals, and cocktails at the pool, and then could not understand why her bill was high. My DD was taking care of managing all the tips etc, so I did not get walloped at the end of the trip so she got the money back every two or three days. I told her it was not the tips that added up....it was the wine. Ill pay mine, but I am not going to pay everyone else's unless I offer.

ONce you figure out what tracking system works best for you, you will be fine.

So did your DD just check the invoices regularly and report to the friend what her share was? We're good with covering tips....but I think DH will have a hard time if we start covering too much in the alcohol department. We pretty much almost NEVER pay for drinks. Plus, to be fair to my DH, while he loves my family, he is already warning me to have a set budget in mind to indulge my niece and to not go overboard (he knows me too well!!). He is comfortable with what we are spending, but he is not going to be willing to spend too much more. And if he was (I hate for him to sound stingy but lets be brutally honest here), he would prefer it to be on our own family.

I think you're totally right - once I figure out an easy-to-use tracking system, I'll calm down and won't be stressed. Where I need help is to figure out a tracking system that is reasonably easy to use and gives us all a good experience and feels reasonably "fair" to all of us. As you can all see, my thoughts get rather tangled so I'm turning back to all of you to help me with the best approach and a better way to phrase things.

 

[Julylady]

Elaine - Kudos for your commitment to family in making this trip happen and I'm glad to hear about your husband. You are thinking about all the right things and asking the right questions. Just some additional advice. I have also arranged several multi family trips over the years and paid for the lodging, food, and usually park tickets. Many, many times you will just need to let things go. Its hard to watch an adult use a snack credit on a $2.50 bottle of water, but that just happens. To say something or try to get them to think about the value of the credit just makes you seem like a crazy person. I also watched my SIS turn down dessert every single meal even though it was included. Once I suggested that she order it and we take it back to the hotel for someone else to have later. She looked at me like I had grown two heads! They just saw the credits as free food and didn't put any value on them like I did (since I paid for them.)

People go with the very best intentions. They will commit to getting up early and being at the bus stop in time for rope drop. They expect to make all the ADRs. They think they will ride all the rides. But then the reality hits. They get tired and want to sleep in. They skip using their Fast Pass for Soarin (made at 12midnight 60 days prior) because they wanted to shop in the China gift shop (yes, it happened!). They don't want to keep the table service reservation for Cape May Cafe, because they want to catch a ball game on TV in the room and eat junk food from the gift shop. Or, they decide 15 minutes before the fireworks are set to begin that the little one really needs to get to bed and they leave. Basically, they want to have the vacation they want to have. And since they haven't paid for it, its fine with them that they are "wasting" money. After all, its not their money they are wasting. If you try to keep them on the agreed to schedule, they get really cranky and turn on you. Or, they will whine and complain about everything. Regarding the food credits though. I would separate the credits by family and tell them exactly how many they get. I had a brother who used 3-4 snack credits a day buying waters, ice cream bars, popcorn while my family was sharing meals to save snacks to get muffins for breakfast. Also, if you are staying in a villa with a kitchen, consider ordering in some breakfast items and snacks from Garden Grocer or another delivery service.

My best advice is to plan the vacation you want to have with your family and let your brother's family join you when they want. Don't pressure them to join you as you go about your day, but always make them feel welcome. Plan 2-3 meals or events that are "must dos" and let them know that these are the ones that are really important to you. Let every thing else go. And put the fact that you paid for everything out of your mind completely! In your case, I would offer to keep the 3 year old with you and let them go off on their own when ever they want. I hope you have a wonderful trip!

 

[elaine amj]

@Julylady I LOVE your post. And I love your perspective. I am just going to let myself scream internally once in a while, and then LET IT GO! Since I do find the DDP to be a lot of food (and its very much compounded on a longer trip), I'm going to mentally prepare myself that there will be waste and it will be okay. I have to admit - stuff like your family member tossing the free dessert would grate a wee bit. but, let it go, right?

I'm thinking of this perspective - this is FREE dining for all of us - it is a gift from Disney, yay! I'm going to refuse to consider the cost of upgrading to get the free plan. If it works out to be simpler, I'll just consider all our credits to be completely pooled and just track it myself (discussing it only every 5-6 days with DB/SIL).

I did like a suggestion on another thread - each family "pays" with credits separately and keeps all the receipts. We can then tally it up every night and keep track of it that way. That could be a way to manage possibilities like:

I had a brother who used 3-4 snack credits a day buying waters, ice cream bars, popcorn while my family was sharing meals to save snacks to get muffins for breakfast.

 

[Nancyg56]

So did your DD just check the invoices regularly and report to the friend what her share was? We're good with covering tips....but I think DH will have a hard time if we start covering too much in the alcohol department. We pretty much almost NEVER pay for drinks. Plus, to be fair to my DH, while he loves my family, he is already warning me to have a set budget in mind to indulge my niece and to not go overboard (he knows me too well!!). He is comfortable with what we are spending, but he is not going to be willing to spend too much more. And if he was (I hate for him to sound stingy but lets be brutally honest here), he would prefer it to be on our own family.

I think you're totally right - once I figure out an easy-to-use tracking system, I'll calm down and won't be stressed. Where I need help is to figure out a tracking system that is reasonably easy to use and gives us all a good experience and feels reasonably "fair" to all of us. As you can all see, my thoughts get rather tangled so I'm turning back to all of you to help me with the best approach and a better way to phrase things.

That trip we stayed CL, so she asked the concierge to print up the bill for us and then she sorted it out. You can do this with any concierge at your resort.

First, every magic Band is distinct. We charged back everything at meals to the room. My son paid for all his shopping in cast at the point of ale, so we used his band at meals whenever possible. This made Marisa's bookkeeping easier. We also did not let the bill get ahead of us, so we printed it up and paid it frequently.

Since you are fine paying the tips, you have a little less division. I was not, and the family agreed as well.

I would plan on having your brother and sil assign a credit card to their bands. They can do this. Set the expectation up from that you will take the TS dinner bills, but that you expect that they will ask for a separate check for alcohol. They can either pay it then or have it charged to them, but the bill is theirs.

I do not believe your DH is stingy. I think he is realistic. By the time we finished with all our planning our bill was higher that we had started planning for. It was okay, but neither one of us was willing to pay more than that.

Also, plan to discuss the finances with you family. Even though the DDP looks like free food, it is not. Free dining means that a different discount was discarded. The family should understand the value of each credit, and while I don't get nervous over folks ordering what they want at dinner, if dessert is included, before refusing it, I expect that the dessert is offered to someone else. I also tell my family how many snack credits they get...and they can use them any way that they choose, If they "spend" them on water, and then want ice cream sundaes...its on them. One other thing I had to address, and never thought that I would need to. CS credits are meant for meals. I know that its fun to bring snacks home, but not at the expense of a meal. Do not plan on sharing someone else's meal, saving yours CS credits so you have a suitcase filled with Goofy Sour Balls. If there are leftover credits we will manage that on the last day.

@Julylady I LOVE your post. And I love your perspective. I am just going to let myself scream internally once in a while, and then LET IT GO! Since I do find the DDP to be a lot of food (and its very much compounded on a longer trip), I'm going to mentally prepare myself that there will be waste and it will be okay. I have to see - your family member tossing the free dessert would grate a wee bit. but, let it go, right?

I'm thinking of this perspective - this is FREE dining for all of us - it is a gift from Disney, yay! I'm going to refuse to consider the cost of upgrading to get the free plan. If it works out to be simpler, I'll just consider all our credits to be completely pooled and just track it myself (discussing it only every 5-6 days with DB/SIL).

I did like a suggestion on another thread - each family "pays" with credits separately and keeps all the receipts. We can then tally it up every night and keep track of it that way. That could be a way to manage possibilities like:

I did not tally with receipts. You pay with your band, so its all recorded.

 

[elaine amj]

@Nancyg56 Makes a lot of sense! And like you said, we have to be realistic - we are not a neverending pot of money although I have no interest in being Scrooge McDuck and hyperanalyzing what they spend their credits on. I did already let my DB know that upgrading to free dining meant paying more for the room and tickets (and asked him to cover the award flight taxes in exchange).

When paying with your band, I know tips and purchases are all recorded by person on the invoice. But my understanding is that dining credits are not differentiated whatsoever. So there is no real way of knowing that DB used 3 snack credits and my DD used 5 QS credits. That's why I was thinking of asking everyone to keep their paper receipts.

Its just going to be a balance between wanting them to be able to relax, have fun, and not constantly track credits and my need to do a certain amount of tracking and my desire not to pay much OOP. We love how DDP gives our frugal selves the feeling of food abundance. And one of the reasons we upgraded to DDP instead of sticking to QSDP was to give them that same feeling.

 

[Nancyg56]

@Nancyg56

When paying with your band, I know tips and purchases are all recorded by person on the invoice. But my understanding is that dining credits are not differentiated whatsoever. So there is no real way of knowing that DB used 3 snack credits and my DD used 5 QS credits. That's why I was thinking of asking everyone to keep their paper receipts.

.

The one good thing about the individual bands is that you will know who scanned the band. Honestly, if you tell your brother that as a family they have X number of snack credits, which amounts to 2 per day per person and that is all you ask them to monitor, I think that is not asking too much. Even CS credits can be worked out so that you have an idea where you all will be eating. A few conversations about convenient locations for any given day, and a trip every other day to the Concierge can be a very effective way of ensuring that everyone is respectful with the allotted credits.

Now I admit that we did not do any division of anything but the snacks, and even those we had enough so there was really no need to worry. We had upgraded one room to DxDDP, so there was plenty of credits for everyone to go around, and the amount to do that was minimal because we had two children in that room. This alleviated any TS issues that may have cropped up.

 

[hsmamato2]

as the disney know it all... Op you should ask for their fave types of food, character meals, etc wanted. Then make some choices, present to them,see if they like the TS options you've chosen. That way they get some of what they want, and so do you...based on what you already know. I also FIRMLY believe that 2 weeks is a long time to spend every moment together,give yourselves some breathing room,esp. as you'll be sharing a condo. You should explain how the credits work, and explain that you have made ahead of time the daily TS (meetup) dinners for all. Then explain how each person has a lunch and snack qs to use daily,which they can choose on their own as they go. that seems fair,and everyone is equal. 14 dinners leaves a lot of choices for everyone to be happy....

 

[elaine amj]

as the disney know it all... Op you should ask for their fave types of food, character meals, etc wanted. Then make some choices, present to them,see if they like the TS options you've chosen. That way they get some of what they want, and so do you...based on what you already know. I also FIRMLY believe that 2 weeks is a long time to spend every moment together,give yourselves some breathing room,esp. as you'll be sharing a condo. You should explain how the credits work, and explain that you have made ahead of time the daily TS (meetup) dinners for all. Then explain how each person has a lunch and snack qs to use daily,which they can choose on their own as they go. that seems fair,and everyone is equal. 14 dinners leaves a lot of choices for everyone to be happy....

Great points

My brother and SIL like to sleep in and my family is usually at the parks by 9am (or 9:30/10 on a sleep in day). So pretty much every day we will be heading out to the parks/waterparks early and they can join us whenever they want (maybe 1/2pm or later). That will give them some breathing room plus I can also make sure my family gets to do what they enjoy too.

My SIL is also one of those people who needs alone decompressing time. So I imagine there may be 1-2 almost entire days where she will just stay in the villa to chill by herself. That's another reason I upgraded to the spacious villa.

My plan with the credits is to ask my brother to keep their receipts (or spreadsheet) and we'll tally them every once in a while. I'll keep my own spreadsheet. By and large, each family will pay for their own credit usage. Perhaps even at TS meals too?

I have decided many times to leave it as one crazy jumble of credits. If we need to, we can always buy supplies and cook in the villa if we run low. But, a PP's story about how her family member wasted so many credits got me thinking. I can tell myself I'll be fine with it. But in reality, I know the waste will drive me batty. So I am better off splitting our credits evenly and keeping my nose out of how he uses his credits.

As it is, they still haven't booked their flights! Really, its only been a week since we booked the trip. But it has me all nervous as award seats can (and do) sell out. I have told my brother a few times now that I worry about that. A few days ago, I decided to "let it go". I messaged my brother my login info, told him how many miles I have set aside for him, and told them to book whenever they were ready. My DH asked me what would happen if the award tix sold out? I told him it would be my brother's problem - he can pay any extra or whatever. And if he can't afford it, our family of 4 will have a huge 2 bedroom condo and amazing 14-day Ultimate tickets. Maybe we'll find another family who'd like to join us

I'm still thrilled at the deal we got. Worked out to about $5k per family for 2 weeks in OKW (our first deluxe woot!!) with free DDP and 14 day Ultimate tix (much better than our 10 day MYW tix). It would have cost about $5.5k each to stay in a POR standard room with 10day WPF&M tix and free DDP. The GBP exchange rate ended up working in our favor.