Part 5: Our Trip. "Are you from Norway"?

Bob NC

DIS Veteran<br><font color="red">I am a trained pr
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Part 5: Our Trip. “Are you from Norway”?

It's only us again, Bob & Jane.....

Our wake-up call comes today, June 22, at 6:30. I look outside and it’s raining. The animals don’t seem to mind, except the bongo, they like to hide under the trees when it rains. The coffee/pastries/bagels arrive at 7 sharp. The coffee is decent in this joint, the pastries are fresh, and the bagel comes with cream cheese and a coupla cute little baby jars of jelly like everyones mother would take from a restaurant, ($24.74). I guess after you lay out 4 bucks for a bagel, they don’t mind if you pocket the jelly...I wonder how they’d like it if I pocket the silverware.

After showers we take up our spots on the balcony to watch it rain. People all around us start waking up, stepping out onto the balconies, looking around, then going back to bed I think. Many of them leave their kids out on the balcony before closing the doors. They don’t want to hear their kids screaming in THEIR rooms, so they leave them outside for the enjoyment of Jane, me, and the wildlife.

Our outlook on the weather channel isn’t looking too rosy. Don’t EVER try to get an accurate weather forecast from that Disney Info station that is on the tv in all the resorts. The worst the outlook ever looks on that channel is, “Partly cloudy with a chance of candy & gum. There‘ll be periods of scattered dark towards nightfall followed by scattered light towards morning”. I call the AMC 24 over at DD to see just exactly what movies I’ll be sitting through today. I write down all the times, as we really don’t want to slog thru rain all day.

We hang out discussing our possibilities until it stops raining. The occasional mist is falling from the sky, but we decide to make a go of Epcot today. We venture out of our room about 8 or so to check out the resort a little before hitting the bus. We go thru the lobby, down thru Victoria Falls, in front of Boma and out that door towards the pool on our way to check out Mara. Mara is the fast food place at AKL. Now, I have never been a fan of these fast food / food court type of places, with the notable exception of Pepper Market at CSR which I love. I truly hate eating off of paper plates or out of paper baskets with plastic knives & forks...or sporks. I don’t like eating anywhere where waiting in line is involved. I don’t like walking around with a tray looking for someplace to sit. Especially first thing in the morning. And besides, if it’s Mara vs. room service, well, going to Mara just doesn’t give an opportunity for the room service waiter to catch your wife naked. I swear, when Jane’s in the bathroom and the waiter knocks on the door, you hear the door slam, then you hear all kinds of noises like lead walls are lowering, air swooshing like the room is being hermetically sealed, you hear noises like the automatic doors closing on the front of a grocery store, then you hear a muffled, “Ok, let him in now”. As if I hadn’t opened the door before she even had the outer door shut.

Anyway, I was totally in awe of Mara’s menu displays on the wall. They are video display screens with the menu listed on one side of it, then menu item pictures seem to shoot out towards you on the other side, getting bigger and bigger on the display screen. It is totally cool and you have to see it, I still don’t want to eat here, but I like the menu. We were kinda disappointed with the selection of snacks and such at Zuwadi, but, we found that all the snacky type stuff, (chips, Pringles, candy bars), are here...at Mara.

To the bus stop, we only wait for a minute or two. This whole bus thing is working out better than I ever could have hoped for. We’re at Epcot in no time. Walking into Epcot I really miss the old haunting, eerie music they used to play, I also miss that old Lucite fountain they used to have. These gravestone things just don’t cut it for me. This Legacy Blatant Cash Grab is the absolute worst thing I have ever seen Disney do. I guess after the Leave a Brick guy left his position, the new guy had to come up with SOMETHING...Unfortunately this was it. It’s awful, it’s ugly, I couldn’t pick out a picture of Jane on that thing if you told me where it was. It is truly hideous and should be done away with. I’d like to go behind one of those tombstones and Leave a Brick all right....Just let me get a little more fiber in my diet first.

Spaceship Earth is one of our most favorite attractions, so we go there first. Usually the only time there is a line there is at opening, but with the intermittent misting and threat of rain, there is absolutely nobody in line. It seems smoother than usual. We give it a thumbs up.

Next we head towards Test Track, it is now about 10 after 9....We hear cars running on TT, but as we get closer we can see that they have the walkway blocked off so you can’t get anywhere near the ride. A CM there tells us that due to current weather and the location of 3 more storm systems in close proximity, TT will not open until later, and FastPasses will not be available until the ride opens.

We head towards the Imagination thing, I’ve heard that Figment is back. It is now that it starts to POUR. Out come the Mickey ponchos. We get to JIYI? and there’s a sign that says to remove your ponchos before coming inside. We remove our ponchos, fold them up, and that’s the last use they get at Epcot today. We like the new ride, but it’s almost just like the old ride except Figment has been added, right? I never really saw the whole Figment attraction thing, but if people like it better, that’s just great. Did this used to be the ride where you like push a button to choose which ending it has? I don’t remember. We emailed our pic to a few people after this ride, that’s a neat little area they have there to do this sort of thing.

There was really nothing else we wanted to do in FW. Our main reason for coming here was for me to see the American Adventure. I have been coming to WDW for 30 years and have NEVER seen the American Adventure. Once I walk by either Canada or Norway and have a beer or two...well, lets just say I’ve always lost interest before I’ve gotten to America. Since FW won’t be opening for awhile, we went to Innoventions West. Nothing in either of these Innoventions buildings has ever held my attention for too long, and today was no exception. We watched lots of people playing with machines and computers that didn’t appear to be working. We then found a place that I had NEVER seen before. The Fountainview Bakery!!! I don’t know how many times I have walked by here and never seen it....I must have just always assumed it was part of Innoventions West. They have some excellent looking baked goods in here, but, I got just a cappuccino and Jane got a coffee. We then went and shopped in Mouse Gears for close to 45 minutes or so...Jane was looking for specific pins, for the kids, that she had seen earlier but didn’t buy. Let me tell you something you may have heard before, but IF YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU WANT, BUY IT NOW!!!! Her hunt was long, but not successful, though she did buy a beach towel for one kid, and vowed to buy an AKL beach towel for the other.

We then went over behind the big fountain to wait a few minutes for the 10:30 show of the Cristos, (Kristos?). These are 3 quasi gymnasts who do various things with their bodies that I haven’t done since I was an x-rated film star in the late 70’s. I’m kidding...I’ve NEVER done things like this with my body. It’s 2 men and one woman, and they do things like balancing each other on their noses by their pinky fingers. I think at one point the woman completely removed her left leg and used it as a Medic Alert Bracelet, but, I could be wrong.

Then it was back to MG for more shopping before WS opens.

WS opened promptly at 11 and we were off. As we walked towards WS we noticed that the Friendship Launch from Germany was pulling up. We got in line behind a group of 3 girls and a couple in their late 50’s maybe. Since it was the first trip, nobody got off the launch. I told Jane to just walk right thru the interior of the boat and we’d sit outside, in the back. Everyone in front of us had the same idea. The 3 girls were first, they walked thru the boat and sat right smack dab in the middle of the outside back seat. No problem, as there is enough room for 2 more people on EACH side of them. Then it’s the older couple RIGHT in front of us who walk to the back of the boat. They walk out the back door and go in different directions. The lady turns left and sits down, the guy turns right and sits down. So, you have, from left to right, 1/2 a couple, a space, 3 girls, a space and then 1/2 a couple. Jane stops abruptly right thru the door and says, “Why did they do that?”, very loudly. OK, I can’t answer her right now because I’m laughing so hard. I feel like shaking my head and saying..”The things you see when you don’t have a gun”. So, I look at girl#1 and give her the universal sign for move over, which is kind of like you are trying to point at something with the top right corner of your head. I think I’ve seen airport strip searchers use this same ‘head nod’. The girls all smile and move. We sit down next to halfacouplewoman and have an enjoyable cruise to Germany.

Disembarking we head straight for AA as nothing will come between me and my history lesson today. It is now 11:10, the first AA show is 11:30, so I suggest we just go elsewhere and skip it. Jane will have none of that as she refuses to listen to me kick myself for another year because I missed this again. We hang in the lobby for 20 minutes waiting for the show. This pilgrim looking dude CM takes the microphone at 11:30 and explains where were going and what we’re gonna do. This guy is making himself sound like Ted Knight from the old Mary Tyler Moore show. His ‘announcer’ voice is soooo exaggerated it is unbelievable. I decide to let him slide, this time. Why embarrass the poor boy so early in the morning?

There are 19 of us in the theatre for this show, I counted. So, you tell me why someone sat right in front of me. There’s about 30 rows in this auditorium. Each row is maybe 50? seats wide? After I sat down, the male part of another couple sat right in front of me. “Why did he do that”? We moved down a seat.....A SEAT, and enjoyed the show. Very patriotic, very educational, and I didn’t even fall asleep for very long.

Now it’s noon and we need us some lunch. Due to my aforementioned distaste for paper plates, we have never had any counter service food at Epcot. We’ve had lunch a couple times at Mexico, once in Germany, and the Hibachi place in Japan. I have, however, wanted to try the fast food place in Japan. We head over to the Yakatori House and we both order the Kushi Vaki....Skewers of Shrimp, Chicken and Beef with white rice. The sauce on the skewers was just a little too sweet for me, but I sucked it down like I was going to prison, ($22.26 for 2 Kushi Vaki, Kirin Beer and a Coke). It was excellent and I’d eat it all again.

From there it was off to Norway, because I wanted to see the movie. In all the times we’ve ridden the ride, we never have stayed for the movie. We’ve always escaped thru the movie theatre when the doors open and never looked back. Good movie, only 5 minutes and lots of fjords. The fjord per minute ratio is amazingly high. On the way out there were the obligatory jokes made about the hats with the horns attached, none worthy enough to mention. OH, and I spotted the hidden Mickey on the Viking ship in the loading area!!

After the ride I just had to have a piece of strawberry creme cake in the Norway Bakery, (Kringla?), while Jane had cheesecake, (I don‘t have the cost on my bill, I must have paid cash, I think it was around $100). This whole Norway ride/cake/horn hat, charade took place only because I wanted one of those GIANT Ringes drafts they serve at the cart out front of Norway. Well, the cart was closed....CLOSED. This is my favorite beer in the World, and where else do they expect me to find a draft that costs $10.00? There is a NorwayCM at a toy cart and I go to ask him why the beer cart isn’t open. When I walk up he is having a conversation, (albeit one-sided), with perhaps a 5 or 6 year old girl. He’s going thru the whole, “Are you having fun”?....”How long have you been here”?....”Do you like Epcot”, deal....And it’s going on so long with no response from her that I’m getting just a tad uncomfortable standing there waiting to ask him a “beer” question. I see no other adult nearby and get the idea that he has the impression that this child is some sort of ward of MINE. But, I’m happy to wait my turn when this girl walks up, maybe 20 or 21 years old, busts right into his conversation and says “ARE YOU FROM NORWAY”? Now, maybe I haven’t set the stage properly...We are in front of Epcot’s Norway pavilion....This is a gentleman wearing leaderhosen and a funny hat.....Across the front of his costume in big red letters it says “NORWAY”....And this woman interrupts to ask....”Are you from Norway”? She begins to ask a, (Undoubtedly idiotic), question about Norway, while I walk away. So, I have no explanation for you about why I couldn’t get a draft.

Then it’s on to wild and wooly Mexico. Jane likes this lame excuse for a ride, well, it’s ok really. After the ride we are off to look in one of those shops at the front of WS for the pins Jane is STILL looking for. I tell her I’ll be getting a Bud Light from the closest cart. Well, the closest popcorn cart has no beer. The next closest cart has no beer. I go round her up and tell her we will be forced to trek to Canada. I walk up to that beer cart across from the Canada pavilion and ask for a “Blue”. The girl behind the cart gets a big smile on her face and asks, “Are you from Cah-nah-dah”? I say, “No, why do you ask”? She says...”Because in Canada, the locals call it Blue”....I say...”I order Blue because I can’t pronounce Labbatt’s”. (I must have paid cash again...I think about $100).

It’s at this point that Jane decides the pins she’s looking for just HAVE to be at the pin station on the 4th floor of the Contemporary. Sooooo, guess where we’re going? On the way to our first Monorail ride of this trip we stop back by TT only to find that the wait is 75 minutes. We go to the single rider line to find that the wait there is the same as the stand-by line. Instead of my finding out the details involved about how this could be possible, we decide to skip the TT for this trip.

We work our way thru the Leave a Legacy monstrosities....”The things you see when you don’t have spray paint”....And head for the Epcot exit.
 
Okay, I was getting tired of waiting for this "Part 5". LOL Glad you didn't forget us. I got quite the chuckle out of this one too....you're hilarious! I don't know what I'll have to laugh at when you finish this trip. Ya think you could take another real soon....or make one up.;)
 
Another great report! The ride that you used to pick the ending to was "Horizons" (where they are building Mission Space). The old Figment ride took your picture and showed it on a screen at the end.:D
 
I am dying laughing here Bob! You aren't familiar with Spenser books are you? That's who you remind me of...I'm waiting breathlessly on the next part!

hunnypotmama
 

Good Job! Fun to read while sipping a Ringnes:p
 
Bob, I love your reports. I usually don't read trip reports, just happened upon yours on a quiet night. Its the only time I have been laughing out loud during the whole report. Keep them coming!!!
 
These reports are SO funny! I just found this great website (Hi everyone) and your TR was the first one I clicked on. My hubby walked in to ask what I was laughing about! :) Thanks for your hard work in writing these and I can't wait for part 6.
- Heather B. in OHIO
 
This was the first trip report I have ever read as well and I just had to go back and read the other four parts thanks to your humorous writing style and refreshing candor. You really tell it like it is! I'm looking forward to reading more!!
 
My husband LOVES the Ringus beer, I think its the only reason he comes on the trip in the first place!! We're going in Oct. & I hope they have it!

Thanks for yet another great report!
 
Another great report, Bob!:D Now I'm off to read part 6.
 
Your reports have been fantastic! I too cant stand those tombstone things at epcot - give me a break! Thanks again for a great read!
 
LOL about Kristos comments....that was the strangest thing I've ever seen!
 
So, I look at girl#1 and give her the universal sign for move over, which is kind of like you are trying to point at something with the top right corner of your head. I think I’ve seen airport strip searchers use this same ‘head nod’.

Priceless!
 
Oh I so hate those horrible Leave a Legacy things too! Awful, just awful.
 
I’d like to go behind one of those tombstones and Leave a Brick all right....Just let me get a little more fiber in my diet first.

ROTFLMAO! Love your trip reports Bob! On to 6 I go!
 
I hate those "Leave a Legacy" thingies at Epcot.

I love your sense of humor...I'm just reading and laughing!

Katholyn
 














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