Parents of Teens...

[marcyinPA]

Anyone else have a particularly snotty teen right now?

My DS15 has had a rough week...lots of stress and very busy. We spent the afternoon yesterday at the funeral of a guy from our church...a 21 year old who lost a 2 1/2 year battle with leukemia. He was my DS's youth leader when DS was a middle school kid. My DS was shaken by it, but could not cry....I think he held it all in. Last night, he felt ill: headache, stomach ache, reflux, etc. He went to bed at 8pm and slept all night.

TODAY: he is SO snotty. Combative, argumentative, etc.

I know he's got a lot going on. He's singing tonight at church, which he's been practicing for all week. He's tired. He's hormonal.

I'm not looking for advice, just maybe a hug. Teens can be so awesome one day, and just so annoying the next! I really don't want his attitude to ruin Christmas for everyone.

 

[Helene]

No advice....just ((((HUGS)))).

DD, almost 13, is the same way. One day, just incredibly loving, the next, short-tempered and completely negative and reactionary.

I'm sure your DS will do fine through the Christmas holiday. Keep smiling and take nothing personally.

Merry Christmas

 

[We_Love_Disney]

And a few for your son too.

So hard. I read somewhere that teens are much like toddlers. They lack the ability to express what is going on in a manner that others will understand. Your son is dealing with things that he has never experienced before and doesn't know what or how to express what he is feeling. Sure a difficult time in life. He has excitement, fear, sadness, anxiety etc all in one day.

I would tell my daughter that I understand there is a lot going on, but I will not be the object of her behavior. She is learning, sloooowwwwlllly, but getting there.

 

[mjkacmom]

I would not be surviving dd14, if not for her very sweet younger siblings! I'm hoping that by the time the youngest are teens, the older kids will be normal, and get me through it again.

 

[indimom]

Anyone else have a particularly snotty teen right now?

My DS15 has had a rough week...lots of stress and very busy. We spent the afternoon yesterday at the funeral of a guy from our church...a 21 year old who lost a 2 1/2 year battle with leukemia. He was my DS's youth leader when DS was a middle school kid. My DS was shaken by it, but could not cry....I think he held it all in. Last night, he felt ill: headache, stomach ache, reflux, etc. He went to bed at 8pm and slept all night.

TODAY: he is SO snotty. Combative, argumentative, etc.

I know he's got a lot going on. He's singing tonight at church, which he's been practicing for all week. He's tired. He's hormonal.

I'm not looking for advice, just maybe a hug. Teens can be so awesome one day, and just so annoying the next! I really don't want his attitude to ruin Christmas for everyone.

Sorry you guys are having a rough day and I hope it gets a little better before Christmas.

 

[AristocatFan]

This is a difficult time for all of you and add a hormonal teenager, well, it doesn't help. DS16 has been almost unbearable lately, we're all adjusting to a lot right now but I have to keep reminding him that he needs to choose his words carefully and watch the tone! Anyway, I've already made it out of the woods with older son(18) so there is hope. They do grow out of it, you just have to stay consistent.

 

[tink1969]

My DD13 has been 'snotty' lately as well. You can't ask her a simple question without receiving the eyeroll and the very bitter sounding answer.

She has a great heart, a good head on her shoulders, doesn't hang with the wrong crowd, has pride in her looks, a top of the class student, etc. I don't get it!

 

[Promomx2]

Yup! Ds almost 16, was easier when he was a toddler than now. I actually caught myself this morning at 11:30 saying "I better wake him up now or he's not going to sleep tonite." Just like when he was little. His mood changes like the wind and you can't always tell by the expression on his face. I have found that if my dh does something that drives me crazy, ds will actually act okay and help me. So dh and I have a deal that I may throw him under the bus if ds gets too much of a attitude.

 

[mousebymarriage]

I understand completely! My DD is 14 and I honestly can't wait until her teen years are over. Somedays she can be a wonderful, sweet, delightful young woman but, she can also be a nightmare. Bad attitude and snotty, I swear some days she is so nasty, I'm just waiting for her head to spin around like in the exorcist!
The funny thing is that she's an excellent student and doesn't get into any actual trouble, she hangs out with a good group of kids. She plays sports and does some volunteer work but, when she is with us (me, DH and her little brother-DS9) she is just so unpleasant sometimes.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Negative, know-it-all, irritable and irritating to everyone around him. Very difficult to live with. That's my 15 year old ds. Also, sweet, funny, kind. It's just that the sweet, funny and kind kid rarely makes an appearance these days. Looking forward to him maturing.

You are not alone. Get ready for the perfect parents to come on and ask why we "allow" this behavior.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

You know it's bad when your older child DD18 comes home from her first semester from college and asks who stole her DB15. Tried to remind her how hard it can be sometimes and hopefully she will work with him to get the real boy back!!

 

[smidgy]

op, the last tripto WDW we tok with our sons (now 28 and 31) were when they were 12 and 15.

the 15 year old had a perpetual "sean penn" sneer on his face the whole time. he looked miserable!

years later, he tells EVERYONE what a great tirp that was ! how his dad was the BEST for bnringing them, what a great time he had!

by the way, that same kid, you could let him watch ANy scary movie at all. but not a sad movie.. he would get all choked up, go to his room, and be a a "funk" for a week.

you have a very sensitive young man there. be grateful he is NOT shallow. a kid like that, you can't "force" him to talk. but.. if it seems like he "wants" to talk (even at the most inopportune moments) you better take him up on it and be there for him..
kids like that, the chances happen ONLY when they happen.
10 minutes later.. "so, what was it you wanted?"... "he says "nevermind".

every child is born with a different personalitiy. his is a bit deeper, and more complicated. personally, I like it. not bland, or boring. (God bless the woman he marries, though!)

 

[momof5boys]

Hugs to you! It is very quiet here because everyone but myself and the dogs are asleep. Everyday I wonder who is going to have the attitude going. It can be one or more! Yesterday they pretty much all behaved but one child is at his mother's house so I got a by on that one! We'll see how today is when they start arguing about who's turn it is to shovel, clean up, etc! Hoping today will be a better day for you! Besides we get to go to Disney in like 36 days! And we don't have to deal with the teenagers !!!!

 

[shortbun]

OP, I think your son is mad. Mad is a natural emotion when one experiences loss. Be gentle with him as our sons need to know they have a safe place in their own homes. Sounds like your son has received the 'be tough' message loud and clear from society and it's backfiring on him; he wasn't able to cry at the death of a good friend and that is sad. I am the mother of a 15yo boy and I know what a suprise it is when they act out, especially if they normally have good dispositions. Hang in there and whatever you do, don't take it personally. Btw, I find the best way to get my son to open up is to take him on a drive where he doesn't have to look at me. I begin by quietyly talking to him a little about day to day stuff.

 

[MELSMICE]

I have 3 DD's that are now 21, 18 & 18. It's all normal. One minute their happy as a clam & the next minute you wonder if a demon has taken over their bodies.

My DH moved out before his sisters hit that teen stage & he used to get frustrated with our DD's until I finally told him there's a time to talk to them & a time to leave them alone. Don't ruin your day by trying to engage them when they just want to be left alone. They'll snap out of their funk eventually & become human again.

In fact, we are vacationing right now with my brother & his family. It was early morning & we were getting ready to go to AK & all my DD's were wandering around in a "funk". He was making some sarcastic comments to them & I finally said, "Don't you know there's a time to talk to them & a time to be silent.........now's the time to remain silent for your own sake!!!"

 

[marcyinPA]

Thank you everyone!!

By the time we got to church on Friday, he was snapping out of it. By the time we left church (we were there for 2 services...both of my kids sing in separate choirs...so we were there for a total of FIVE hours), he was completely out of it.

We went to the Melting Pot with friends for Christmas Eve dinner, and he was funny, polite, mature, and fun to be with.

Yesterday he was thankful, and pleasant. We had a lot of laughs playing the new Wii Fit.

He really is a great kid, but even without the grief he experienced this past week, he does have these moments of being completely unbearable. I try not to take it personally, but I don't always succeed.

Lisa...thanks for the hugs! So excited for Disney...and you know we'll have to deal with them when they text us for more money!

 

[kirbsam]

Anyone else have a particularly snotty teen right now?

My DS15 has had a rough week...lots of stress and very busy. We spent the afternoon yesterday at the funeral of a guy from our church...a 21 year old who lost a 2 1/2 year battle with leukemia. He was my DS's youth leader when DS was a middle school kid. My DS was shaken by it, but could not cry....I think he held it all in. Last night, he felt ill: headache, stomach ache, reflux, etc. He went to bed at 8pm and slept all night.

TODAY: he is SO snotty. Combative, argumentative, etc.

I know he's got a lot going on. He's singing tonight at church, which he's been practicing for all week. He's tired. He's hormonal.

I'm not looking for advice, just maybe a hug. Teens can be so awesome one day, and just so annoying the next! I really don't want his attitude to ruin Christmas for everyone.

John Belushi: "My advice to you... is to start drinking heavily."

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

John Belushi: "My advice to you... is to start drinking heavily."

Ha. This is about the only thing I haven't tried. I have 2 DD's, one 17 and one 15. They are so mean. I would move heaven and earth for them and I get nothing but snotty remarks, heavy sighs, insults muttered under their breath. They can't stand me or each other. I'm at my wits end. It doesn't help that their father is not any kind of disciplinarian. He's the "good guy", so I don't even bother trying to get them to mind me or respect me because they run to him and he overrides any punishment. It's a million times harder than I ever imagined. My mom left when I was 8, so having a great mother-daughter relationship was SO important to me. I tried so hard. This has failed miserably.

 

[LOVETHATMOUSE]

My DD13 has been 'snotty' lately as well. You can't ask her a simple question without receiving the eyeroll and the very bitter sounding answer.

She has a great heart, a good head on her shoulders, doesn't hang with the wrong crowd, has pride in her looks, a top of the class student, etc. I don't get it!

You just described my DD15 to a t! It's really like living with Jekyll and Hyde . She's in her room on Skype with her best friend for the past 2 1/2 hours and is mad that I won't drive over to her house today. I am best friends with her mom as well and I am disappointed we can't go, but WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A BLIZZARD! Oh the joys of motherhood....