Parents, how do you enforce your kids bedtime?

[mickeyboat]

This was sort of inspired by the "cry it out" thread, which I didn't actually read though because my kids are older now. But bedtime is still such a chore! I hate it. It's one excuse after another. It typically takes about a half an hour to get everyone settled in bed and then they won't fall asleep for another 30-60 minutes! Especially my twins who share a room. They like to stay awake and talk and play half the night. I have tried several things but nothing seems to work. Not even a good old fashioned spanking which usually just the mere mention of that does wonders.

The kids ages are 5,5,9, and 11. Their bedtime on a school night is 8:00 p.m. If anyone has any tricks that have worked for them I'd love to hear them. Thanks.

We have a routine which we stick to every night. We start getting them ready for bed at around 7PM, and take them upstairs to cuddle with us in our bed at around 7:30 (I know this isn't realistic for you with 4 kids ). If they are asleep at 8, we carry them to bed, if not they go to bed. They know 8 is their bed time, and don't argue when it is time to go to their beds.

Hannah falls asleep right away, but Emily takes a little longer. As long as she stays in her bed and stays quiet, I don't worry about it. She whispers songs to herself, it is so cute!

Anyway, do your kids still take naps? Do they get lots of exercise during the day? Those are the two things which cause my kids to sometimes have trouble going to bed. If they are really wound up, we will take them out to the hot tub for a few minutes which relaxes them, too.

Hope things improve!

Denae

 

[tw1nsmom]

I wanted to add, DD will sometimes do the twin thing and wake her brother up in the middle of the night to play. We only have to threaten that they won't be able to share a room and it doesn't happen for quite a while. After one particularly bad night of playing, we let them oversleep and miss the bus. Their dad drove them to school and made them tell the teacher why they were late. At this age, they love their teachers and don't want to dissapoint them. They haven't had a middle of the night play session since. Twins are so much fun.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

But then if I let the older two stay up the twins will want to as well. They don't seem to fall asleep until around 9 p.m. anyways so maybe we should make that the new bedtime.

You're not doing your 5yo's any favors by thinking that they can have the same rights as their 9 and 11yo siblings! Nothing wrong with different bedtimes for younger (or older) kids. Of course if you decide that they are all going to sleep too early, that's different.

My 6yo usually goes to sleep at about 8pm and he's out like a light. Last night he stayed up a little later watching the beginning of the Rose Bowl, but we try not to get him to bed later than 8:30 or 9 at the very latest. He wakes up at about 7:30, but sometimes I have to wake him. And his siblings for to bed a lot later.

 

[slo]

My girls are 2 and 7.

My 2 year old just goes to sleep when put to bed - I've had no problems with her yet

My 7yr old has always had a hard time falling asleep right away, but I don't want to keep her up because of that reason. Since she was probably 3 1/2 years old, I would put her to bed at bedtime (8-8:30pm) and let her pick out a soothing CD or a book on tape. Then she would lay there and listen to what she picked out. If she choose a book on tape, then I would give her some low lighting, so she could see the book, and many times she would fall asleep before the story was over. I always felt this was better than arguing.

Now that she is older, she doesn't enjoy book on tapes as much. She still picks out a relaxing CD to listen to and then I let her do a word find in bed for awhile (she loves those things ) and she relaxs herself to sleep. If she doesn't fall asleep on her own, by the time I tell her "lights out" she has relaxed enough that she falls asleep soon thereafter.

I'm a big believer of children listening to music to shut out there day. My 2yr old has a CD player in her room and every night when she goes to bed, I put on some lullabies to lull her to sleep.

Both of my girls also had music boxes in their cribs that they listened to soothing music from the day they were born (Fisher Price). Music has always had a positive affect for them.

Good luck - sleep time is tuff, especially when they are having fun and don't want to finish their day. Lot of PD to you

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I dont make them "go to sleep" I make them go in their room. I dont care if they sit up all night in there - but they're in their room by a certain time.

But - my boys are 14 and 10 - and I dont have much of a bedtime for either one of them, anymore. They know when they're tired. they know when they have to get up in the morning. Theyre the ones whom are going to pay for being a night-owl. I would -like- them to be in bed by 9-10ish, but I have a 14 y/o who sits on the phone until the wee- hours.

So, when I *did* have a bedtime - it was only to get them in their room.

My older kids have to go to their room. I prefer if they go to bed at a reasonable time, but as long as they are out of my hair so my DH and I can have a few minutes to ourselves that's the most important thing. My 12yo stays up in our room since he shares a room with his 6yo brother. He's supposed to be reading, but I know he does watch tv in there, too. Usually it's whatever game that is one since he's a sports nut.

 

[becka]

We are having a little bit of an issue with that right now as well. DS's current bedtime is 8:30 but we usually set a timer for 15 minutes or so when he has to be in his room but he can "read" or play with the lights on until the timer goes off then it is lights out. He does really well and does not complain when he has to turn off the light but then he still is in his room playing and some nights he keeps coming back into the living room. Some nights it is after 10 before he will fall asleep.

I think the biggest struggle is that DS has really outgrown his naps and so on the weekends he does not take one (unless he is just overly tired for some reason) and he is fine. The daycare still makes the kids take naps so DS is getting a nap he does not really need and then he is up way too late in the evening which makes him tired the next morning. I really don't know what to do about that.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I think the biggest struggle is that DS has really outgrown his naps and so on the weekends he does not take one (unless he is just overly tired for some reason) and he is fine. The daycare still makes the kids take naps so DS is getting a nap he does not really need and then he is up way too late in the evening which makes him tired the next morning. I really don't know what to do about that.

Can't the daycare just have him take a quiet time and not expect/encourage him to nap since it is messing him up at night and then he's sleepy the next morning? Maybe if they realize that he'll be more rested in the mornings when he comes to daycare they might be motivated to do that.

 

[pyrxtc]

well for my 3 kids (ages 2, 4, and 9) they all go to bed at 8 pm. we get ready starting at 7:30 and they will be done it all and sent upstairs at 8 sharp. My 2 yr old is occasionally upa little later but he also takes a 3 or 4 hr nap during the day. i told the other kids that if they want to stay u later, they need to nap too. My kids fallas leep when they get in bed. If my 9 yr odl gets in trouble and is sent to bed early, she is stilla sleep quickly. She gets up for school at 7 am. If she went to bed later, she would never get up.
Now we also have our 11 yr old on the weekends and fri/sat night is 1 hr later than norm so 9 pm for all, Sunday night is 8 for all again. She gets up at 6 on Monday. A lot of times 11 yr old will go to sleep earlier on her own. She falls asleep on car rides and on the couch. She still needs the sleep. I can't see my kids never having a bedtime, I was to be in bed by 9 til i got out of high school. No reading or music in bed either.

 

[shortbun]

Bed time here is a good thing. Dad reads great books and we all love to listen to him read. We don't have a "set" time as I just can't be that rigid. We DO make sure our son gets enough sleep though. He's usually in bed by 8:30 and his Dad reads for about an hour. He gets up at 8am. 10 hours of sleep is great for a 10 year old, they do not need more than that. LOL!!! My son loves to sleep in. He can sleep til 1pm any day I tell him he can sleep. When he's 16-will he sleep all day? Oh MY!!!

 

[tiff211]

My girls are 2 and 7.

My 2 year old just goes to sleep when put to bed - I've had no problems with her yet

My 7yr old has always had a hard time falling asleep right away, but I don't want to keep her up because of that reason. Since she was probably 3 1/2 years old, I would put her to bed at bedtime (8-8:30pm) and let her pick out a soothing CD or a book on tape. Then she would lay there and listen to what she picked out. If she choose a book on tape, then I would give her some low lighting, so she could see the book, and many times she would fall asleep before the story was over. I always felt this was better than arguing.

Now that she is older, she doesn't enjoy book on tapes as much. She still picks out a relaxing CD to listen to and then I let her do a word find in bed for awhile (she loves those things ) and she relaxs herself to sleep. If she doesn't fall asleep on her own, by the time I tell her "lights out" she has relaxed enough that she falls asleep soon thereafter.

I'm a big believer of children listening to music to shut out there day. My 2yr old has a CD player in her room and every night when she goes to bed, I put on some lullabies to lull her to sleep.

Both of my girls also had music boxes in their cribs that they listened to soothing music from the day they were born (Fisher Price). Music has always had a positive affect for them.

Good luck - sleep time is tuff, especially when they are having fun and don't want to finish their day. Lot of PD to you

I am going to try the books on tape. My girls are in their beds but take a long time to wind down. DD3 has such a hard time waking up in the morning! Thanks for the tip!!

 

[Marseeya]

We make the kids go to their rooms at a certain time, and then once there they either have to go to sleep or read. No playing or watching tv.

Giving them that choice seemed to put an end to the bedroom fights. We also explained that we needed grown up time and that's the only reason we were sending them to bed and they seemed to understand that.

 

[KAMLEM]

I'm a big believer of children listening to music to shut out there day. My 2yr old has a CD player in her room and every night when she goes to bed, I put on some lullabies to lull her to sleep.

Both of my girls also had music boxes in their cribs that they listened to soothing music from the day they were born (Fisher Price). Music has always had a positive affect for them.

I would be careful about this. My youngest daughter used to have a sound conditioner in her room. When she was an infant we got it to block out other sounds in the home because she was such a light sleeper. As she got older she was addicted to it. She went to stay at my parents' house and we forgot it so she couldn't sleep. I brought it down the next day but then that was a problem because at my parents' house she and my older daughter share a room and the sound bothered my older daughter. We decided to "wean" her off it otherwise she'd never be able to stay overnight anywhere. I'd be afraid that the same thing would happen by letting them fall asleep to music each night.

I used to have a hard time getting my younger daughter to go to bed. When she was 7 I used to try to put her to bed at 8:00 and it was like torture every night. She would come downstairs over and over until finally I spoke to my pediatrician. He suggested letting her stay up later because some kids just don’t need that much sleep. I started letting her stay up until 9:00 and it was like magic. She would go right to sleep and still get up in the morning with no problem. DH and I are always saying how fortunate we are to have kids that get up so easily in the morning. I tell them once to get up and that’s all it takes. They get up, take showers, get dressed and eat without any complaining. Now they are 9 and 11 and they go to bed at 9:30 on school nights. The rule is that after 8:00 they need to do something quiet such as read or watch television. Sometimes they go earlier on their own if they are tired or not feeling well.

My 11 yr. old has a friend who has always had an early bed time because her mother wants all three of her kids to go to bed at the same time. The problem is that the oldest kid is 11 and the youngest is 4. My DD stayed over night there a few months ago (when both girls were 11) and the mother made them go to bed at 7:00. It was not a school night and they had nothing else to get up early for the next day. My DD said that she will never stay there again!

 

[Wishing on a star]

How do you enforce our kids bedtime?

By being the 'parent' and enforcing it!!! LOL!!!
Kids are pre-wired to push the limits. Once they are allowed to get back up, stay up late, push our every button, then they will continue to do so. All it takes is one or two times.

Consistancy and firm enforcement are the key. Any hint that it is 'negotiable' and you are arguing and negotiating forever. A consistant night-time routine is also important. One that is winding-down, not stimulating. I remember hearing MIL's stories about how night-time was a nightmare for her with my DH when he was young. Then, when my DS was on the way, I got the more detailed stories. They expected DH to stay up and play stimulating games until well past the time he was tired. (the old, flawed, 'wear em out and they will sleep; theory.) Then, with an overtired, cranky, miserable little kid, they would, every night, go through the house and make him clean up every toy, with him whining and crying the whole way. No wonder my MIL did not get a good nights sleep until DS was school aged!!!

And, no wonder I had to put my foot down and enforce boundaries when she expected me to raise DS just exactly like she thought was right...

I knew that bed-time was one issue that I was just not going to have.... So, from the time DS was moved into his big-boy bed, it was a very strict, "we go to bed and we stay in bed" Never had a problem with it!

 

[JVL1018]

I used a technique fomr Supernanny. LOL
My kids are 4 and 6..my 6 year old pretty much stays in her room, 4 yr old DS does not.
He comes out, I take him say it's time for bed, kiss, hig, tuck in, leave
Comes out again, I take him , say no getting out of bed, kiss, tuck inm
Any subsequent time he came out, no talking, no kissing, no cuddling, just back to bed.
It sounds so stupid, but it really did work. He didn't get the attention he wanted.

If that still doesn't work I ask him if he wnats me to throw his Ninja turtle sword away and that sends him scurrying back in. LOL

I really don;t care if my kids go to sleep when they are in their rooms, as long as they are in there with the lights out, they can play on their beds, look through ooks(they have nightlights) whatever-just stay in your room(of course they do go to sleep at a relatively normal time-if they were up til midnight I would care)
they do go to sleep when they are tired and they wake up with no problems in the morning.

ETA we also have a routine. Starting around 7:30, the kids get in their PJs and have chocolate milk.
I read a book to my DS4, then DD6 may read a book to him. Then the kids brush their teeth. I tuck DS in and DH sings to him.
I read a chapter or two of a book to DD then tuck her in and DH goes in and sings to her.

 

[va32h]

By being the 'parent' and enforcing it!!! LOL!!!

That's a lot easier to say than it is to do.

Bedtimes in our house are 8:00 for the 2 yo, and 9:00 for the 5 and 9 yo.

My 9 yo daughter will go to bed at bedtime, but she doesn't go to sleep. She will stay awake, in bed, until 11pm or midnight. The next morning she is tired and cranky, and you would think that she would be able to fall asleep the next night, but nope - she lays there until 11pm night after night.

We have taken her to the doctor, and he says there is nothing physically wrong with her. He suggested counselling, to see if she has some emotional issues that are causing her insomnia, and even offered to prescribe a relaxant.

My 5 yo son goes to bed no problem. He can fall asleep in ten seconds! Sometimes he even asks to go to bed before bedtime.

The 2 yo is a typical two - gets out of bed every ten seconds. I would have preferred to keep her in her crib, but it broke when we were moving the furniture, and I just couldn't bring myself to buy a new one at this late date, when we already had a twin bed available.

So for her, we just take her back to bed, take her back, take her back, until she finally goes to sleep, or we go to bed and she doesn't like to walk around the house in the dark.

 

[palmtreegirl]

Guess I'm really lucky, I say "Guy's it's time for bed" and off they go. They brush their teeth, go to the bathroom and get in bed. I then go in and tell them I love them, turn off the lights and they go to sleep. Oh my kids are 5 & 9.