parenting issue -- what would you do?

[jennyanydots]

older dd is 13 and will be a high school freshman this year.

at the beginning of the summer I bought her a Sony Discman. she goes to travel camp and she likes to take CD's on the bus.

the discman broke the second week of camp. dd was careless and irresponsible.

I refuse to buy another CD player for her.

the question, though...

should I let her use her own money (birthday, allowance, etc) to buy one for herself?

 

[SeaSpray]

Sure, why not? I'm not sure that I understand your issue here. Do you think that since she was irresponsible with the first one that she shouldn't have one at all? I guess I can see that side of the issue, but if she has money of her own, I'd let her buy herself a new one. I'd bet she'll take better care of it!

 

[kirstyfly]

I agree let her buy one out of her own money and then she will respect it a little better.

 

[auntpolly]

That really depends on whether or not spending her own money will cause her any kind of hardship or not -- because it should, a little. If she's rolling and dough I don't see how whipping out her little checkbook will teach the responsibility.

I once made my DD work for <i>me</i> to earn the money to replace something she lost. She had the money to pay for it, but I told her she wasn't getting another one unless she did it that way. If your DD was older and had a real job, it might be different.

But what do I know? I'm the original mean mom!

 

[Beth76]

I think it's fine to let her use her own money.

 

[HollyJoy]

I say yes. She broke it, she can replace it. Would be a good lesson for her.

 

[sweet angel]

Absolutely let her buy one with her own money. She'll more than likely take better care of it, than she would with one she didn't pay for.

 

[Rutt and Tuke]

Definitely

 

[MAC3]

I'm sort of in the same situation.... MY DD12 & I went shopping for a backpack, she wanted a jansport. But she also wanted a pink one. We went to Marshall's and they had a purple jansport but she choose to buy something else(pink).

So her friend got the pink jansport and she loved it. I told her that if she wanted to spend 50.00 of her own money to buy one fine....but have no mistake about it, she will use the one I bought her next year!

 

[ElizK]

I'd let her spend her own money. My DD12 and I go through this sort of thing, too.

 

[bigbabyblues]

If it was her money, and that's what she wanted to spend it on, I'd let her. I probably wouldn't spend the $$ to buy her a new one though, if I was paying for it.

We all have to learn responsibility!

 

[aprilgail2]

If she wants to use her money to buy a new one then sure why not..its her money she should be able to buy what she wants with it....

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yes. Those things are not built so great anyway.

 

[shortbun]

I agree that those personal CD players are way too fragile.
That said, let her spend her own money and caution her to
get a good case/carrier so she can protect it.

 

[slo]

Originally posted by HollyJoy
I say yes. She broke it, she can replace it. Would be a good lesson for her.

I couldn't agree more with this. In fact, I already take this approach w/ my 6 yr old DD. She does chores and gets an allowance and she spends her own money on things that she really wants - which would include something that needed replacing, even if she ruined the original. If you think about it on an adult perspective, if you received a X-mas gift and you lost it/broke it and you really liked it, wouldn't you replace it? I know I would. Good luck w/ your decision.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Sure. If she's careless this time, it's her money that she's used and lost if it breaks. I think she'll be more careful with it if she buys it herself anyway (I always was when I was growing up, I hate to say it, but I was) and if she IS careless and it breaks, she'll feel it a lot more since it was her money.

 

[Mimi Q]

Yes, I would definitely let her buy one.

 

[julie_yet]

I agree that she should be allowed to buy it herself. We were poor when I was a kid and my parents couldn't afford to buy us a lot of things. As soon as I started babysitting I saved up and bought myself all kinds of things. When I was 14 I told all my friends and family that I was going to buy a trampoline. I shocked them all when I actually paid for the whole thing myself. And I always took great care of my purchases because I had wanted them enough to actually save up for months. I was proud of myself for earning them all.

 

[SC Minnie]

I agree. If she wants to replace it and actually take care of it this time let her but it herself. I have been doing this with DD10 for years. She takes much better care of her stuff when she has had to work for the money.

 

[amid chaos]

Yes, let her buy one with her own money,,only if she has it in cash, nothing comes out of the bank.