Parent Poll: Show me yours- touch it!

How would you handle this?

  • My kids would not be allowed in the house ever and I’d tell them why.

  • It’s a normal part of growing up. Look the other way and let them explore.

  • I’d tell the parents, even though they let their kids run wild and never care what they do.

  • I’d inform the parents of the neighborhood kids.

  • I’d inform the police or school there is abuse going on in the house.


Results are only viewable after voting.

teacups

DIS Veteran
Joined
Dec 14, 2006
Messages
4,090
If you found out some neighbor kids were taking their friends into the house, taking down thier pants and actually touching... and the kids who lived in this house are ages 13 (high school boy), 10 (4th grade girl) and 6 (kindergarten girl) and the friends going inside are from 10yrs to 5yrs.... how would you view this? Or, what would you do?
 
My kids would no longer be allowed to play with those kids. I would make sure there parents knew what was going on.
 
I'd be very concerned that a 13 and 10 year old were involved, the 6 year old not so much, but it sure sounds like there's an issue in that home:eek:
 
with young toddlers, that behavior is normal. with older children, that behavior should be cause for concern. i wouldn't allow my children back over there, and i would try to speak to the parents, and if that didn't work, or it got more suspicious, maybe a DCS referral is in order?
 

13:scared1:

I automatically voted the first option. However, given another second to think about it, if the 13 year old was participating in this - this is a police matter!
 
My kids would not be able to go to the house or interact with the kids.

The parent would hear from me.

I would call ACS.
 
not only would my kid(s) never go back over there or be allowed to play with these children, but after i spoke with the parents, i would be calling DHR at the very least.
 
Because there's a 13 year old involved, I think there's cause for concern. I would not be nearly as upset if they were all young children (under 8 or so). I don't think I'd call the police, but I'd talk to the parents and not have my kids around the 13 year old.
 
The 13 yo is what would concern me as well. He is old enough to know better.
 
A 13 year old already in high school? Since school is out in most places, I'd assume this boy finished his freshman year then? Wow, that's really young. My DD is 13 and just finished 7th grade.
 
A 13 year old already in high school? Since school is out in most places, I'd assume this boy finished his freshman year then? Wow, that's really young. My DD is 13 and just finished 7th grade.

It's possible though.
My DD14 just complete her sophomore year last week.

To the OP though...the 13yo. exhibiting this kind of behavior is sounding off bells & whistles to me. I would let the parents know asap.
 
A 13 year old already in high school? Since school is out in most places, I'd assume this boy finished his freshman year then? Wow, that's really young. My DD is 13 and just finished 7th grade.

He probably just finished 8th and will be in 9th come September? Late year birthday & started school at 4, or his birthday is this summer.
 
I'd no longer allow my kids to go to that house and I'd talk to the parents. I'd base my decision on whether to proceed further on the reaction of the parents.
 
He probably just finished 8th and will be in 9th come September? Late year birthday & started school at 4, or his birthday is this summer.

My son's birthday is in October. He was 13 when he started high school. He's 17 now and will enter college this August.
 
The "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" is pretty normal at a younger age. Given the "touching" part and the ages, though, something is up- I would tell the parents and my kids would not be allowed over to that house ever again.
 
Ages 6 and under...probably more natural curiousity.

The 10 year old is iffy...presumably by then he/she should have been taught about appropriate vs. inappropriate touching.

The 13 year old I would consider the biggest issue.

I'd probably speak to the parents and gauge their reaction. And my kids would not be allowed over there to play.
 
I think there are several poll options that I would do. My kids would not go back there, I would inform the other parents of children that play there, and I would also talk to the parents of the children that live there (perhaps THEY are also unaware of this). I try to watch things pretty closely when kids are over in my home playing. But I'm also completely aware that the parents of my kids friends may not be as "present" when they kids are playing together. We have a rule that the opposite genderred friend is not allowed in their bedrooms, other parents don't have this rule.
 
OP here... the boy is entering high school. So I could have said just out of middle but either way its not OK. These people and one other family have an odd relationship. They let all thier kids have a giant sleepover together... all sexes all ages (5 thru 13). They've known each other less than one year. I had a problem with that all along but it was none of my business as my kids were NEVER allowed to participate in it... but this is just terrible that one family of kids comes along and causes all this havoc in a neighborhood. I was told by the parents who are ok with the giant sleepover that this new showing/touching is normal behavior... which is why that option is on the poll. Thought maybe I was missing some marbles!!!
 
OP here... the boy is entering high school. So I could have said just out of middle but either way its not OK. These people and one other family have an odd relationship. They let all thier kids have a giant sleepover together... all sexes all ages (5 thru 13). They've known each other less than one year. I had a problem with that all along but it was none of my business as my kids were NEVER allowed to participate in it... but this is just terrible that one family of kids comes along and causes all this havoc in a neighborhood. I was told by the parents who are ok with the giant sleepover that this new showing/touching is normal behavior... which is why that option is on the poll. Thought maybe I was missing some marbles!!!

i don't think YOU'RE missing any marbles, but the parents who allow this group sleepover definitely are. they're asking for trouble, and it seems as if it may be brewing.
 
If the older children (10 and 13) were involved in show and tell, this is a distinct warning sign. Knowing the circumstances involved, no I would not let my children go back to the home (and while I would welcome the kids over, I would closely monitor). The behavior you have described in the older children, in conjunction with the 'sleep overs' you are describing makes me think there is more going on with the older 2. This could be a reportable situation.....you don't have hard evidence, but it is odd. As a mandated reporter, I would feel the obligation to call it in. Younger kids "check out" each other's equipment (usually confirming what one has versus the other). This is not appropriate behavior for a preteen or teenager.
 

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