parent "invite" list dramas...*sigh*

[littleladykaty]

this doesn't have so much to do with Disney, but I was wondering if anyone else had issues with this...my mom is furious that my dad (her ex husband) is daring to invite certain people to the wedding...something about one of them knowing all about something and not telling my mom about it and blah blah blah...basically my mother finds the person offensive...I don't know them at all, but dad and step mom are best friends with her and her husband...do I not invite this woman b/c she offends my mother so and risk ticking off daddy dearest or do I invite her to keep the peace and just make sure that mom is seated a distance from her? My mom is the most important person in my life next to my fiance and my dad is a punk for even doing this but then he doesn't have the sense of a mule to know better sometimes...my fiance is annoyed that we are having people there that we don't know as we are paying for this ourselves...why oh why are weddings so political?! I just know that if I don't invite someone that my dad wanted it will hurt his feelings or my step mom's feelings and I don't want to do that at all...I love them both, but I don't want my mom bristling the whole day (even though she would be a Southern Belle the whole day and you'd never know she was upset at all) but this is an important day for her...good lord I have a head ache already. It's like to last till the end of time at this rate...(I just read what I typed...my Southern accent comes out when I'm annoyed! )

any one want to commiserate?

 

[princessblueeyzes]

You need to do what is going to make you more comfortable. If this lady is going to ruin your day then I say don't invite her as you don't need more stress on your plate. Did you think about having a sit down with your dad and step-mom and explain what kind of a situation you are in? I have found it easier for my family and DF family to be straight honest and let them know how I feel and ask them for their reasons on why they want things a certain way, then I have tried to reach a compromise- but the one thing I won't comprimise is my date and location of my wedding.

 

[Brad&Kryssi]

Oh Katy! You sure have had your share of stress with this wedding, huh? This day better turn out to be the best day of your life or I'm gonna have to hunt some people down, lol! (When I'm annoyed, the New Yawk comes outta me!)

Seriously sweetie...you really are overthinking this. You and your fiance are paying for this. Ergo, you decide the guest list. Nothing wrong with including dear friends of your parents, but definitely nobody controversial.

You said it yourself...your mom is important to you, then her feelings take precedent. I could see if it was your dad that mom was having problems with but this is just a friend, so no brainer. Nix her.

 

[littleladykaty]

y'know it's funny...I never realized just how much of me is still such a people pleaser...my father in particular...and sadly my family doesn't deal with straightforward anything. If I don't invite this woman it will cause a problem and life is just too short...I spoke to my fiance and while he too wants to cut this woman completely, he understands family dynamics too...it's all very complicated...so we've decided that instead of "bride side-groom side" set up we'll just do my mom's family on one side and my dad's on the other...Jason only has his mom and dad so they can sit with my mom's side and all will be well. I'm sure that I am overthinking this a teensy bit...but of course I know my family and how they work...there was a huge rift for three years over the fact that my sister got my dad a "coffee" card for Christmas and he never used it...seriously...she didn't speak to him for three years... Do y'all see why I had to move 3000 miles away from all that?! We're all just too high strung and as the middle child I run myself ragged trying to patch things up and make everyone happy and it's just exhausting.

My day will be fantastic b/c my fiance is the most amazing man I've ever met. He loves me and I love him and he will see to it that I am happy. He's a tough guy!!

thanks for the support y'all!!!

 

[Brad&Kryssi]

Wow..that's a lot to handle hon. Well ok, as long as you're happy that's all we want to hear!

 

[Mommy Poppins]

It is your day! You are the bride! Quite honestly, if you and your fiance don't know this woman, then I wouldn't hesitate to tell your dad that he can have a "party" anytime he wants and invite his family and friends. This is your wedding and it is about you, your family and your friends. Why should you pay (and quite honestly, this is Disney--you will pay A LOT!!!) for someone to attend your wedding and reception, that you don't even know?

Good luck!

 

[DisneyDiva74]

I agree! If you are paying, then its your choice who you invite. I can definitely understand wanting to keep everyone happy, but really that's usually very difficult if not impossible, so concentrate on making the most important person happy, you (and your DF, of course)!
Good luck and hang in there!!!

Amanda