crazyforgoofy
Finally - Isabella's forever Mom! 9/08/05
- Joined
- May 11, 2002
- Messages
- 6,273
Some of you know we've had Isabella for more than 18 months now. She came to us at just 4 years and 5 months old a few weeks before a trip we'd planned to WDW. Her new therapist said to relax and go anyway so we did. She had a marvelous, magical time and celebrated her "4 and a half day" with Mickey and the gang and got to know us too. She's going to be six during our two week trip that begins next week. She's blossomed in 18+ months. She's grown several inches and gained a lot of weight (she weighed less than 26 pounds when she came, she was the boniest child I've ever seen). She's completing kindergarten, she's learned to read and has many fewer outward signs of the trauma she suffered before she came. If you didn't know her history you'd never guess - unless you're around when she's having one of her old nightmares!
We are Isabella's legal guardians but we see her mother, M, (who is my husband's oldest child) from time to time when we bring Isabella to that part of the state for a visit. M is supposedly clean at the moment, is in rehab again (court ordered for parole violations) and has even begun a job. She doesn't call often and has never made the effort to come see Isabella or even send her a gift at Christmas or her birthday but several weeks ago told Isabella via phone that she had a Beanie Baby for her. We went for a visit a few weeks ago to my husband's parents mostly to see them and Isabella's half sister who lives with another set of grandparents but allowed M to be involved, its hard not to when my in-laws keep insisting that 'they need to see each other'. Anyway, she didn't bring the promised Beanie Baby to "Granny's" and said she'd get it when we took her back to the treatment center ( no, we didn't volunteer, we don't want Isabella to be there, she lived there once with M and M's mother! - ick). But by the end of the weekend M had made other plans and didn't need us for transportation. She then promised Isabella she'd mail her the toy. Needless to say, Isabella has been watching the mail for more than 2 weeks now. She is just sure her mom will send that damned Beanie Baby as she promised.................
OK, here's the vent! How can anyone be that careless with a child's feelings especially her own child? I am so very tired of this and so angry that the darling little girl has to go through the pain and misery she's suffered. I want her free of all of it. She has two bio grandmothers who haven't contacted her the entire time she's been here. Her bio father is a horrible, dangerous excuse for a human. Her "mother's" ongoing problems with drugs and the judicial system seem neverending and her inability to care about or for her children is unbelieveable. My in-laws compound the problem by feeling sorry for M and just wanting everything to 'be nice' in the family. Well, damnit, this isn't nice. This child needs to know she's going to be safe here forever. She's seen more hell in her first 4.5 years than most people see in a lifetime. THIS HAS TO STOP!
We are Isabella's legal guardians but we see her mother, M, (who is my husband's oldest child) from time to time when we bring Isabella to that part of the state for a visit. M is supposedly clean at the moment, is in rehab again (court ordered for parole violations) and has even begun a job. She doesn't call often and has never made the effort to come see Isabella or even send her a gift at Christmas or her birthday but several weeks ago told Isabella via phone that she had a Beanie Baby for her. We went for a visit a few weeks ago to my husband's parents mostly to see them and Isabella's half sister who lives with another set of grandparents but allowed M to be involved, its hard not to when my in-laws keep insisting that 'they need to see each other'. Anyway, she didn't bring the promised Beanie Baby to "Granny's" and said she'd get it when we took her back to the treatment center ( no, we didn't volunteer, we don't want Isabella to be there, she lived there once with M and M's mother! - ick). But by the end of the weekend M had made other plans and didn't need us for transportation. She then promised Isabella she'd mail her the toy. Needless to say, Isabella has been watching the mail for more than 2 weeks now. She is just sure her mom will send that damned Beanie Baby as she promised.................
OK, here's the vent! How can anyone be that careless with a child's feelings especially her own child? I am so very tired of this and so angry that the darling little girl has to go through the pain and misery she's suffered. I want her free of all of it. She has two bio grandmothers who haven't contacted her the entire time she's been here. Her bio father is a horrible, dangerous excuse for a human. Her "mother's" ongoing problems with drugs and the judicial system seem neverending and her inability to care about or for her children is unbelieveable. My in-laws compound the problem by feeling sorry for M and just wanting everything to 'be nice' in the family. Well, damnit, this isn't nice. This child needs to know she's going to be safe here forever. She's seen more hell in her first 4.5 years than most people see in a lifetime. THIS HAS TO STOP!
Not trying to interfer or flame at all as I know only the best of intentions are ment here, but this is a very difficult situation that is much bigger than a toy. This poor little girl needs clear expectations (even if they are non-expectations) about her relationship with her birthmom.
I am so sorry.
I think it is wonderful you are stepping up to the plate for Isabelle.
she will figure some of this out for herself. Unfortunately, it is painful being a Mom - or parent, I should say - and the best thing you can do is love 'em silly and gently guide them toward a positive way at looking at life and its disappointments. Positive is really, really hard. But you do the best you can before you turn them loose.
