Thanks everyone for all you input! We just returned today from our trip to OBX, and had a lovely time. Here are a few of my wrap up thoughts:
*When we first arrived the beach wasn't very pretty. The water was rough and choppy from an off shore storm. I honestly was feeling pretty meh about the beach as a whole BUT it truly improved and ended up so pretty, improving more and more each day.
*Traffic was busy at times but overall manageable. Today (Sunday) we left at 7am and zero issues getting out of town/across the bridge. Last Sunday we arrived in town at 3:45pm and zero issues crossing the bridge but traffic getting to Duck was congested. It kept moving though.
*Some offsite things we did (specifiically my DH, myself, and DD10): The Wright Brothers Memorial (I really enjoyed this!), The Bodie Island lighthouse (again, enjoyed. Did not go up inside as I didn't really read the ticket sell rules till the last day. But honestly not sure I would have had the endurance!). DD survived both things, she found things to keep her entertained enough, but not sure she was overly thrilled. So after the last venture we made a run to Sugar Kingdom and that of course was a hit (and DH and I loved their taffy). Really thought we would do Jockey Ridge but as the week went on and we all got more and more tired, fewer and fewer were interested in making the trek.
*We loved the house my MIL rented, and spent a lot of time beween the beach and pool. We saw a deer and fox both on property Never experienced that at the beach before!
*We personally didn't buy a kite but my two BIL's did and my DH and DD got a chance to experience it that way. They enjoyed it. It was fun to see all the kites from the front deck of our home.
*Places we ate (just our thoughts and opinions):
NC Coast Grill & Bar - Wait time was fair for a party our size (13) and food was good, but to start with the week with a $118 bill was a hard pill to swallow

(with no adult beverages...and obviously we can read the menu and knew what we were getting into; this was a suggestion from another member of our party)
Coastal Cravings - Well, again, perhaps we should have read more. The atmosphere was fun upon arrival and the kids loved playing with the hoola hoops and darts and stuff. Again, fair wait for a party our size (for reference we left for dinner each night around 4:00-4:30). was a little caugh off guard with the inattentive wait staff and the way they present the food. Wasn't expecting cardboard boxes

Food was decent, at least what I had, but don't know that anyone in our party would beg to go back.
Arts Bar and Grill - Loved this place! Seemed like a dive but we loved sitting outback at the picnic tables. Made it especially easy for those in our group with smaller kids. Truly a wonderful burger in a laid back atmosphere!
The Black Pelican - We tried to eat here the night before but it was a 2-3 hour wait so we went to Art's. This night we left at 3:30 for dinner, was an hour wait, by the time we were seated it was back to a normal eating time. Our party had mixed reviews. DH, DD, and I all enjoyed our food but some were saying theirs was just okay. Seemed like a very popular place though! DD got the kids steak and it was the same size as the one DH and I ordered!
Max's Italian Restaurant - So by now we had eaten ALL dinners together. And I love my extended family but I was ready for a break

They all love seafood and my 3 don't eat any at all, so we just really wanted something different. This place was awesome! We all 3 loved it, our waiter was amazing. It wasn't beachy at all but it was perfect for us! DD got the adult fettucini since they didn't have a kids version, and she ate half for dinner and gobbled down the leftovers the next day for lunch.
Backyard Bernie's - We had tried to go to Awful Arthur's but were met with a 2 hour wait so we called BB and they had zero wait so we headed there. Most of us youngrer folks enjoyed this meal a lot and even declared it might be our favorite meal of the week. I don't think my inlaws were super impressed but I think they were just looking for something different for the last night. Overall we had a good experience there.
We had Duck Donuts one morning(totally lives up to the hype!), PIzzazz Pizza for lunch one day (seems like chain there but we thought it was good pizza), and Weezy's Ice cream one night after dinner.