off to neverland
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2004
- Messages
- 703
Cast:
Me, Rae, 34, Disney lover
Dix, 43, Great guy
Boo, 4.95 year-old picky eater
Sis, 1.95 year-old
Goldi Locks, Kind DVC member who traded her points with us
Laser-accuser guy: Nice man helping out with world safety
Inventory of important trip items:
Fancy Laser Camera
Once we were in the airport and had settled down a bit from our run in with the laser-accuser guy, we had to check our bags and clear customs.
By this time, Boo knew we were going on a trip, but he wasnt sure to where.
Okay, mommy. If were not going to Nanas and were not going to Disneyworld, then .he started to say.
I never said we werent going to Disneyworld. I said, smiling.
Again, I could see the look of realization of where we were going pass over his face but like before, he couldnt let himself believe it for the fear of letdown when he discovered it wasnt true. He quickly wiped the look of excitement off his face and got serious again, looking into my face for help. I could see him struggling with himself to decide whether it was true or not. He was, in a word, in DENIAL.
I leaned down to his ear and whispered, What you are thinking is true, son. Happy Birthday.
Right in the middle of the airport, his little body turned into a spaghetti noodle and he sort of slithered down onto his knees. He placed the palm of his hand against his forehead and in pure 5 year-old dramatic form sighed, I cant be-yeeve it!
As we stood in line to get our boarding passes, we met a really nice couple who were headed to Disneyworld and were staying at POFQ, the same place we were staying our first night. They told us they used to go to WDW all of the time with their kids, but this time their kids had dropped them off at the airport and they were going alone. Though I dont wish away this time with my kids, I do look forward to the day we are in their position!
Meanwhile, Boo was still uttering his, I cant be-yeeve it statements and trying to grasp the fact that his biggest dream had just come true.
What I couldnt be-yeeve were the lines through security and customs. It was a long, slow go and the kids had two suckers apiece in that line, both finished before 6:00 am. We had the kids in the double stroller which I was pushing, and Dix was pulling our rolling suitcase with one had and carrying the two car seats in his other hand. I was amazed at his ability to hold onto those carseats in one hand . His hands are about three times the size of mine.
It is here I have to make my first mention of how incredibly rude people can be. We were keeping up very well with the people in front of us, yet it seemed people couldnt help themselves from trying to cut in front of us. At one point a woman and her husband actually pushed their way in front of Dix, who was still carrying the car seats and pulling the large rolling bag. Boo saw the situation and his loudest voice said, Hey, they just got in front of you, Daddy! Hey, how come those people are cheating?
They didnt turn around and my husband didnt answer my son.
"I SAID THOSE PEOPLE JUST CUT IN FRONT OF YOU, DADDY! HOW COME THEY DID THAT? He was yelling now.
I have to give Dix credit; he didnt respond the way I so badly wanted to, by saying BECAUSE SON, THEY HAVE NO MANNERS. Instead, Dix leaned down and whispered something to Boo that I couldnt hear. The No Manners People in front of us pretended they didnt hear a thing my son had said and kept on their merry way. I wonder if it was worth it for them to cut in front of a family just to go sit at their gate and wait for their plane.
We finally made it through security, dropped our bags off at baggage, and made it to the front of the customs line where the customs man was studying our paperwork.
People of authority such as customs agents have always intimidated me and I act very nervous around them. I always feel like I am a suspect when I talk to them, even though I have never broken the law, aside from an occasional speeding ticket.
Why are Dix, Rae and Boo all American citizens and Sis is Canadian? he asked.
She was born in Canada, I said, and Im in the process of getting her American citizenship.
He glared at me. What does in the process mean?
I explained the following to him: When Sis was born in Canada, I accidentally misspelled her name on the paperwork for her birth certificate. When I went to the American consulate to get her US citizenship, I asked that it be spelled the correct way, but they insisted it be legally changed in Canada first. It is now in the process of being changed in Canada, and the US paperwork can not be completed until the Canadian paperwork is done.
Got it?
Mr. Customs Man nodded his head like he hears that explanation a hundred times a day (yeah, right!) and started handing us back our paperwork.
I expected Mr. Customs man to ask what everyone asks me when I tell the mis-spelled name story: Why did I misspell her name?
He didnt ask me.
Wasn't he the least bit curious why I would misspell my own child's name?
Why wasn't he asking?
I couldn't stand it anymore!
I would never have misspelled her name if I hadnt been so doped up. I offered.
The whole world stopped. The hand in which Mr. Customs Man was holding our passports stopped in mid-air and he studied my face. I looked over at my husband, who was looking at me like I had just admitted to an affair. Even the kids were quiet and were staring expectantly at me.
You may be wondering why Dix wasn't jumping in to help explain to Mr. Customs Man why I would say such a thing. For years, he has seen me too chatty in moments like this, and he also knows that I know better than to say such a thing. The last time we went through customs I caused a 1 1/2 hour delay when I declared a $17 order of pajamas bought on sale from Land's End for a friend. I don't think he's ever forgiven me for that one. So, I wasn't surprised to see him bail on me and join the frowning ranks of Mr. Customs Man. If I was going to get myself in trouble with the law, Dix wanted no part of it.
I kept looking back and forth between the two men glaring at me. Husband, Customs Man, Husband, Customs Man, Husband . Suddenly, my reserved-for-super-embarrassing-nervous-moments laugh popped out. It is a high pitched yelp that just sort of jumps out of my throat. Ive only done this laugh/bark thing three times in my life, and I actually have one on videotape from when Boo almost ran his sled into me. (Im going to try to post that video footage here later so you can hear what it sounds like!)
After I recovered from my laugh/yelp, which neither Mr. Customs Man or Husband seemed to appreciate, I had to explain to these two men what I meant. I mean doped up you know . On painkillers after you give birth . You know girl things ..
Both men were mirror images of each other. Simultaneously they both rolled their eyes and took a deep breath. The moment of shock and awe was over! This conversation was going somewhere they didn't care to go! Mr. Customs Man quickly handed me back our passports and Dix began to push the kids in the stroller toward our gate. Childbirth pain was obviously NOT part of their experience or interest!
I'd like to seee either of them try to spell while they are doped up on Demorol after hours of painful childbirth!
Next Installment:
Part 3...Who put this diaper on me?
****************************************
Part 1...We are NOT wanted by the FBI!!
Part 2...I am NOT a drug addict!!
Part 3...Who put this diaper on me?
Part 4... Just leave me for dead on the side of the road!
Part 5... Where is Dix?
Part 6... The Brat Hat!
Part 7...Why didn't I listen to Dix?
Part 8...The Hanky Panky Promise!
Part 9...Forgive me Zurg, for I have sinned.
Part 10...A thief in the crowd...
Part 11...Time for a break...
Part 12...I think I broke my elbow!
Part 13 The German Hottie!
Part 14...The Big Fight!
Part 15...Get your finger off my flab!
Part 16...Lost in the wilderness
Part 17...Tarzan Rocks, but so does Dix! THE END...
Me, Rae, 34, Disney lover
Dix, 43, Great guy
Boo, 4.95 year-old picky eater
Sis, 1.95 year-old
Goldi Locks, Kind DVC member who traded her points with us
Laser-accuser guy: Nice man helping out with world safety
Inventory of important trip items:
Fancy Laser Camera
Once we were in the airport and had settled down a bit from our run in with the laser-accuser guy, we had to check our bags and clear customs.
By this time, Boo knew we were going on a trip, but he wasnt sure to where.
Okay, mommy. If were not going to Nanas and were not going to Disneyworld, then .he started to say.
I never said we werent going to Disneyworld. I said, smiling.
Again, I could see the look of realization of where we were going pass over his face but like before, he couldnt let himself believe it for the fear of letdown when he discovered it wasnt true. He quickly wiped the look of excitement off his face and got serious again, looking into my face for help. I could see him struggling with himself to decide whether it was true or not. He was, in a word, in DENIAL.
I leaned down to his ear and whispered, What you are thinking is true, son. Happy Birthday.
Right in the middle of the airport, his little body turned into a spaghetti noodle and he sort of slithered down onto his knees. He placed the palm of his hand against his forehead and in pure 5 year-old dramatic form sighed, I cant be-yeeve it!
As we stood in line to get our boarding passes, we met a really nice couple who were headed to Disneyworld and were staying at POFQ, the same place we were staying our first night. They told us they used to go to WDW all of the time with their kids, but this time their kids had dropped them off at the airport and they were going alone. Though I dont wish away this time with my kids, I do look forward to the day we are in their position!
Meanwhile, Boo was still uttering his, I cant be-yeeve it statements and trying to grasp the fact that his biggest dream had just come true.
What I couldnt be-yeeve were the lines through security and customs. It was a long, slow go and the kids had two suckers apiece in that line, both finished before 6:00 am. We had the kids in the double stroller which I was pushing, and Dix was pulling our rolling suitcase with one had and carrying the two car seats in his other hand. I was amazed at his ability to hold onto those carseats in one hand . His hands are about three times the size of mine.
It is here I have to make my first mention of how incredibly rude people can be. We were keeping up very well with the people in front of us, yet it seemed people couldnt help themselves from trying to cut in front of us. At one point a woman and her husband actually pushed their way in front of Dix, who was still carrying the car seats and pulling the large rolling bag. Boo saw the situation and his loudest voice said, Hey, they just got in front of you, Daddy! Hey, how come those people are cheating?
They didnt turn around and my husband didnt answer my son.
"I SAID THOSE PEOPLE JUST CUT IN FRONT OF YOU, DADDY! HOW COME THEY DID THAT? He was yelling now.
I have to give Dix credit; he didnt respond the way I so badly wanted to, by saying BECAUSE SON, THEY HAVE NO MANNERS. Instead, Dix leaned down and whispered something to Boo that I couldnt hear. The No Manners People in front of us pretended they didnt hear a thing my son had said and kept on their merry way. I wonder if it was worth it for them to cut in front of a family just to go sit at their gate and wait for their plane.
We finally made it through security, dropped our bags off at baggage, and made it to the front of the customs line where the customs man was studying our paperwork.
People of authority such as customs agents have always intimidated me and I act very nervous around them. I always feel like I am a suspect when I talk to them, even though I have never broken the law, aside from an occasional speeding ticket.
Why are Dix, Rae and Boo all American citizens and Sis is Canadian? he asked.
She was born in Canada, I said, and Im in the process of getting her American citizenship.
He glared at me. What does in the process mean?
I explained the following to him: When Sis was born in Canada, I accidentally misspelled her name on the paperwork for her birth certificate. When I went to the American consulate to get her US citizenship, I asked that it be spelled the correct way, but they insisted it be legally changed in Canada first. It is now in the process of being changed in Canada, and the US paperwork can not be completed until the Canadian paperwork is done.
Got it?
Mr. Customs Man nodded his head like he hears that explanation a hundred times a day (yeah, right!) and started handing us back our paperwork.
I expected Mr. Customs man to ask what everyone asks me when I tell the mis-spelled name story: Why did I misspell her name?
He didnt ask me.
Wasn't he the least bit curious why I would misspell my own child's name?
Why wasn't he asking?
I couldn't stand it anymore!
I would never have misspelled her name if I hadnt been so doped up. I offered.
The whole world stopped. The hand in which Mr. Customs Man was holding our passports stopped in mid-air and he studied my face. I looked over at my husband, who was looking at me like I had just admitted to an affair. Even the kids were quiet and were staring expectantly at me.
You may be wondering why Dix wasn't jumping in to help explain to Mr. Customs Man why I would say such a thing. For years, he has seen me too chatty in moments like this, and he also knows that I know better than to say such a thing. The last time we went through customs I caused a 1 1/2 hour delay when I declared a $17 order of pajamas bought on sale from Land's End for a friend. I don't think he's ever forgiven me for that one. So, I wasn't surprised to see him bail on me and join the frowning ranks of Mr. Customs Man. If I was going to get myself in trouble with the law, Dix wanted no part of it.
I kept looking back and forth between the two men glaring at me. Husband, Customs Man, Husband, Customs Man, Husband . Suddenly, my reserved-for-super-embarrassing-nervous-moments laugh popped out. It is a high pitched yelp that just sort of jumps out of my throat. Ive only done this laugh/bark thing three times in my life, and I actually have one on videotape from when Boo almost ran his sled into me. (Im going to try to post that video footage here later so you can hear what it sounds like!)
After I recovered from my laugh/yelp, which neither Mr. Customs Man or Husband seemed to appreciate, I had to explain to these two men what I meant. I mean doped up you know . On painkillers after you give birth . You know girl things ..
Both men were mirror images of each other. Simultaneously they both rolled their eyes and took a deep breath. The moment of shock and awe was over! This conversation was going somewhere they didn't care to go! Mr. Customs Man quickly handed me back our passports and Dix began to push the kids in the stroller toward our gate. Childbirth pain was obviously NOT part of their experience or interest!
I'd like to seee either of them try to spell while they are doped up on Demorol after hours of painful childbirth!
Next Installment:
Part 3...Who put this diaper on me?
****************************************
Part 1...We are NOT wanted by the FBI!!
Part 2...I am NOT a drug addict!!
Part 3...Who put this diaper on me?
Part 4... Just leave me for dead on the side of the road!
Part 5... Where is Dix?
Part 6... The Brat Hat!
Part 7...Why didn't I listen to Dix?
Part 8...The Hanky Panky Promise!
Part 9...Forgive me Zurg, for I have sinned.
Part 10...A thief in the crowd...
Part 11...Time for a break...
Part 12...I think I broke my elbow!
Part 13 The German Hottie!
Part 14...The Big Fight!
Part 15...Get your finger off my flab!
Part 16...Lost in the wilderness
Part 17...Tarzan Rocks, but so does Dix! THE END...
Part of what made me laugh so hard, I think, is the ablity to see myself in that situation. I get nervous around anyone like Mr. Customs Man. I always seem to stick my foot in my mouth. I loved reading so far and can't wait to hear more!
