OT: Would you leave your kids for 10 days?

[emma'smom]

Of course you should go! It will be harder on you than on your children! They will be surrounded by loving family and, while they may miss you (the way anyone misses a loved one who isn't nearby), if you prepare them well- they will be just fine.

We went to Australia for 10 days and left dd2 with my parents for the week. I was so worried about it that I almost cancelled the trip. I called everyday...and everyday she was just fine and she would tell me about all of the fun things she was doing with Papa and Grandma. Yes, she missed us and was happy to see us when we came up....but she wasn't miserably pining away for us.

Go...go...go- your relationship with your sister is important too and the chance to experience new things and grow as a person yourself. A trip to Europe with your family would be fun....but a trip on your own with some time for sister-talk would be really special too!

They will be with DH and grandparents...and each other! If you talk about where you are going and what you will be doing, they will be able to follow each day of your trip. If you are creative, you can probably e-mail them pictures from different places each day so they are playing a "Where in the world is Mommy?" game!

Anyway, we left our dds (now dd4 and dd2) with grandparents while we went to Hawaii this year (for business and fun). Again, while I was there I kept saying "Oh, dd4 would love this pool", etc. However, there were a lot of things we did that we couldn't have done with dd4 there (like lava hiking at night, just sitting in restaurants lingering over dinner, having appetizers and dessert, etc). They were just fine....again....we called everyday to see what they were doing....they were having fun and creating memories with grandparents. My dd4 always asked us what we were doing and was very interested in learning more about the volcanoes....so we may return one day for a kid-friendly vacation, but I don't regret the ones I take while they take their own vacation with grandma and Papa.

P.S. Flying all the way to Ireland with three kids may be a loooooooong trek that woudl be hard for your youngest children. You are smart to wait until they are a bit older.

One last thought- I think you should do it for no other reason than you never know what tomorrow will bring for you or for the world. I passed on a trip to Israel about 8 years ago...and given the current political situation...I probably won't go there for a long time, if ever. I regret not going.....it would have been a nice opportunity to see a different part of the world and grow on my own as a person.

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

GO. You will miss them and I agree with what another poster wrote about taking a special "getaway" with them when you return. But, this will probably be a "once in a lifetime" time with your sister. I also think your plan of waiting until your youngest is 4 for a family trip is a great idea.

 

[newholidayx2]

It took till DS was almost 14 for me to be away from him for a week.
Going back solo to WDW in April for a week and then again in Nov.

 

[JJ&JSMOM]

Difficult question. I understand you feel this trip is a once in a lifetime opportunity but I could never leave my kids for that long or that far - I would never want too. This is just my opinion but I could never live w/myself if anything happened to my kids while I was gone. And what if something happened to me while overseas. No -no way. To me it wouldn't be worth it - lifetime opportunity or not! I'd go later on in life and if I didn't get the chance later on - it wouldn't be a big deal to me.

Good luck on your decision. Like another poster said its tough being a mom.

 

[ilovejack02]

Heck ya id go!!!!!!!!!!! I know I would miss the kids , but ill be home eventually.

 

[mericletwins]

Help, DIS mommies and daddies! I have the opportunity to go this July to visit my sister who lives in Dublin. We're close, and she's lived there a few years now, and I've been wanting to go visit her. I live on the West Coast, so it's a LONG journey to get there, then I figured once I'm there, I want to see as much of the country as I can, so it doesn't make sense to fly back after just a few days. So I'm tenatively planning on a 10 day trip. I'll fly to London, tour the city a day or so, then fly to Dublin. We'll tour Ireland for about 5 days, then fly on a cheap European shuttle to either the Netherlands or Austria for a day or so, then home.

Sounds great to me, but I'll be away from my 7, 5, and 2 yo. I've never been gone that long. My DH will be here with them, but he needs to work, so my parents will be helping (they live locally and are close to the kids). I'm just concerned leaving for that long. I considered making it a whole family trip, but of course that makes the cost astronomical. (We'd be paying so much more for flights, food, and of course I would no longer be crashing at my sis's tiny apartment.) We may try that in a few years when the kids are a bit older and better suited to tour Europe.

DH supports me going. I know it's a great chance (I haven't been to London in many years, and never to Ireland), but I know I'll worry and miss the kids. Would you go? Be honest! (I know you DISers will!)

ABSOLUTELY! Go and enjoy time with your sis! My BIL passed away last Easter at 47 and my dad passed away at 44 so I try not to miss an opportunity to spend time with family or wait to do something when the kids get older because you never know what is in the future. Go and have a fabulous time.

 

[macmahony]

My first thought was no way, I could never do it, I have no want to go away without my kids. Either does my husband.......BUT your husband will be there, and your parents too! How great will that be for your kids. Moneywise, I understand to bring everyone it could not be done, plus I understand going when they are older. (we want to go back to ireland, but also waiting until they are older, since this will be a once in a lifetime trip) I think a lot of mothers (me included) forget to do for themselves too, but we are people to, and need time too. Could something happen, yes, but life is short, and really, if I always worried about the possibility of something happening boy, I think life would be awfully boring. Plus, yes, they are young, but they will survive, and they might have moments of being terribly sad, but really I also feel like I don't want to over protect, and coddle, and not let my kids grow up. Maybe this is part of them growing up, and really Ireland is AMAZING! (I spent 6 weeks there when pregnant with my first). GO GO GO GO!!
I have to tell you, I really started out thinking no, absolutely not,don't go, who would do that to there kids, but, really the more I think about it, I really hope you go, have an amazing time, and be a better mother for it. I gained a billion pounds in Ireland, the food is amazing, the countryside is beautiful, and wow, to be there with your sister, how much better can it get.
I hope to hear that you decide to go!
Heidi

 

[Sleeping~Beauty]

It's going to be a very personal decision. It sounds like your husband will have a lot of help so that sounds good.

Personally, I wouldn't leave my kids. I have an opportunity to go to Las Vegas for a week, and I turned it down. I won't leave my 4 and 2.5 yo that long. That's just my personal choice.

Good luck with your decision. It does sound exciting.

 

[Desnik]

I could see now why you wouldn't want to make it a family trip this time, especially with the ages of the kids. But I still couldn't leave them for that long and would wait the 2 years when you can all go together. However, if you could maybe shorten the trip?

 

[donac]

I think that it would be tough to leave the kids but with dh and grandparents there they will be very busy.

My twin sister and I just made our first sister trip last Aug (we are 51) to DW. The rest of the family were taking bets to see who would come home alive. Much to the amazement of our family we came back and are thinking about doing it again and maybe having some of our other sisters come (there are 5 girls in the family and we are the oldest). It was a great time that we have never experienced before. My vote is to go for it. With your husband behind you he would feel bad if you don't go and bond with your sister.

Ask the kids what they want you to bring back to them. That was fun for me to search out what they each wanted. I also got to go shopping more than I ever had because I didn't have anyone saying "Buy me this" and I could spend my money on what I wanted. NOt to mention that you can eat when and where you want to as adults for a change.

Have fun

 

[Hannathy]

No I couldn't nor would I want to go. My kids are only little for such a short time and there will be a lot of time after they are gone. I would wait and if you don't spend this money the family trip would be affordable that much quicker. I agree the little one is too little but how do you explain to the oldest? I would feel too guilty to enjoy the time. No I wouldn't go.

 

[shellyfive]

I would go!! My Dh and I get to go away now almost yearly due to his job----we've been to Bermuda, Hawaii, California and now going to FL------for a week by ourselves. Our parents come and stay at our house and get all of them to school etc. It was a little harder to leave the first time, but we look forward to the trip as much as our kids look forward to having their grandparents live with them. They go out to eat, special shopping trips etc.---it's almost harder for me when i get home "well,grandmom made us waffles for breakfast yesterday, we don't want cereal!" I have met many moms who won't leave their kids at all-----and you know what, I think mine are so much more ready for anything life throws at them, and life is really tough sometimes. My kids can pretty much fall asleep at anyones home, and have learned so many things from all the different caregivers they have had, things i never taught them, but I am so glad someone thought they were special enough to share life's little nuiances with. Don't get me wrong, they miss us and we miss them, and we each often say we saw stuff that one family member would've loved to see, etc., but God-willing, we all reunite and have great stories to tell for months to come. Enjoy your trip guilt-free---------I wish MY sister lived in Ireland

 

[marsha123]

have you ever left them before? my husband do alot of 2or 3 day trips!! they are fun but after 3 or 4 days i want my babies.

 

[BonSchwe]

I have taken two trips with DH in the past couple of years without the kids and thou the kids were missed I wouldn't have traded that time for anything. As long as you have worked out something with someone responsible to watch them then you should go and enjoy yourself. I just made sure I called everyday to touch base and I brought them each back something nice (DS16-DD15-DS6).

 

[MSSANDRA]

It would be very difficult for me and I am not sure that could. Never would if DH would not be there with the children but that does make a huge difference in my eyes. What would help me to decide is how much do you miss your sisiter?? If your are really missing her and "need" to see her then I might say go. My sister and I are not that close but I have a best friend that I have know since we were toddlers and we are closer than most sisiter. It would kill me to go 2 additional years with out seeing her. Now if a visit with your sisiter is just a nice bonus to getting to see Europe, I would say no I would not go.
Sounds like you are a great mom and you will make the right choice!

MsSAndra

 

[solgent]

I've done the same a couple of times. Gone on a trip (usually business, sometimes pleasure) while DH stayed home with the kids.

DH & I have never gone away together and left the kids. If we had family nearby that we trusted to care for them, we might do it, but we don't.

One thing I will say is this: on my trips the days leading up to departure were the worst. Every time I was in emotional turmoil, second-guessing myself, wondering why I was doing this, was there any way out. Intellectually I would remind myself of the reasons for my decision, the kids were with DH and they would be fine, but knowing that didn't really remove the stress. Once I was on the plane and there was no turning back I felt a LOT calmer and I was able to enjoy myself, while checking in regularly.

It's a personal decision. Best of luck to you!

 

[emma'smom]

What is so interesting about this conversation is that, for mothers, this is an issue....but not so much, does it seem at least, for fathers. My dh is away for two days/one night every other week and we don't give it much thought. He telecommutes most of the time and flies back to the city for face-to-face meetings.

He calls in the evening...my dd's and I have usually planned play-dates or are involved in activities and then have dinner/bed/etc. They are certainly happy to talk to him, but they don't seem to be miserable while he is gone. That's just how Daddy's job works....and they don't question it or see it as something to be worried/emotionally distraught about.

If there were an emergency, I would handle it. If I were away, my dh would handle it. I don't understand the frame of mind that there is only one person in the world who can address a child's needs and that, if they are gone for a few days, the child will just fall apart (except maybe for breastfeeding..but that's a whole other issue).

 

[jodifla]

What is so interesting about this conversation is that, for mothers, this is an issue....but not so much, does it seem at least, for fathers. My dh is away for two days/one night every other week and we don't give it much thought. He telecommutes most of the time and flies back to the city for face-to-face meetings.

He calls in the evening...my dd's and I have usually planned play-dates or are involved in activities and then have dinner/bed/etc. They are certainly happy to talk to him, but they don't seem to be miserable while he is gone. That's just how Daddy's job works....and they don't question it or see it as something to be worried/emotionally distraught about.

If there were an emergency, I would handle it. If I were away, my dh would handle it. I don't understand the frame of mine that there is only one person in the world who can address a child's needs and that, if they are gone for a few days, the child will just fall apart (except maybe for breastfeeding..but that's a whole other issue).

IMO, it's part of the Mommy Martyrdom syndrome some women have going on. Only they are good enough to take care of their kids, they are only young onces, etc. etc.

 

[hsmamato2]

For me? I could never do it.... ever. But if you truly feel ok with it,you probably should! I have a friend who leaves a kid or 2 behind now and then to travel with various family,and the kids seem to be just fine
me personally I'd find a way to take my kids or i wouldn't go. But some have told me that I' a little weird...

 

[sunlver]

I could never do it. I could never leave my kids. I am just a big old sap like that. My kids are 12,7 and 2. I would miss the 2 yr old the most, but it wont happen. We have been married 13 yrs and have never been without the kids. We go on vacation once a year. Where we go, they go. They way I look at it is that one day they will be grown and out of the house, and I will have plenty of time to vacation without them. Until then, we take every opportunity to vacation as a family.