OT workplace bullying?

[signtalker]

I know this is off topic, but i was wondering if anybody here on dis has suffered workplace bulying or victimisation?

Im currently in a situation that has been on going since I've had my accident really (14 months)I guess because i have been unpredictable having time off etc etc, Im now the target of bullying by not 1 but 2 of my line managers(they job share LOL). It started off with little things that I'd shrug off thinking oh its me, but now getting to the point when i know its not!.

Both are doing things whilst others are not around, and basically im treated totaly differant to the other 8 in our team, one rule for them and one for me, im pulled up at every hurdle they are not(my husband seems to think its because im very good at my job and have a good rapour with my students).And the fact I stand up for myself and wont be walked over.

I have now had to bring the union in(for an incident that happened on thursday), which i know because of this my life will be made hell once half term is over and i go back to work.

Im keeping a diary of all events that happen, and emails letters etc that are sent to me, but as you can appreciate its very stressful, there isnt the option of taking this higher, as the manager is on long term sick leave!!.Its got to the point where im totaly on edge having trouble sleeping,eating and concentrating, im a nervous wreck and basically theyve set out in what theyre trying to do, which is get me to resign and leave.

Im due back to work next monday but really feel like i cant face it. The union have agreed to help as much as possible, and told me to get along to the doctors and get this noted on my medical records.

Has anybody else been through this?, any advice apart from put in a formal complaint, which i dont think i could really cope with at the moment.

Jules

 

[FiFi]

Jules

So sorry to hear what you are going through. I'm afraid I can't help you with any advice as I haven't been through it myself.

As your DH said, you are probably better at your job than they are and are just bitter about it. They are the weak ones, not you. Try to be positive (I know it can be difficult) but you will get through it as they will come off worse.

Take care,

Fiona

 

[Muppet]

Hi Jules

I had something similar but not a bad as you are getting it.

I took a job as a redsidential social worker. Loved it and every minute of it. However every other member of staff warned me about the new senior who would apprently make my life hell. She resented all other females! But worst of all she was 2 faced and a real brown nose to the 2 bosses. Great eh. Well things started well until she would make snide comments, show me up in front of the residents, chop and change my shifts leaving me in the wrong place at the wrong time and looking stupid. She was good at being nasty. The residents all under 15 heard the nasty things she was saying about me and bed wetting and tantrums started( they all come from arguementitive backgrounds some with violence) so when they saw her they would kick off and she said it was because I was too friendly to them. Well other members of staff got involved saying to her that she was out of order and it all blew up and I took all the heat. It got so bad I lost a load of hair, weight and most importantly self esteem. After recieving a dressing down in front of 6 members of staff her and the other boss I thought WHY? She had fed them a sob story and said I was picking on her and even though noone supported her theory she was management along with the bosses I was given total humilation saying I had made it up and that she was lovely. When the others tried to speak up they were told to listen or leave and that all management decisions were final. I quit on the spot and they were shocked that I did.

They thought I needed them more than they needed me. Tried to say I was incompenent but my glowing appraisels had already been filed.

Worst of all they told the residents I left because I hated them. Sick.

You however Jules I think are a victim of jealously. They think you are too good at your job. Stick at it and see it through. They say your reputation proceeds you and lets hope it does for them.

I also believe in Karma so may it run round and bite them in the Ar*e.

Good luck and sorry this is soooo long.

 

[Olaf]

Hang in there. I imagine we've all had workplace issues to deal with at one time or another. This is why (when I worked, I'm a kept woman), I was very hesitant to confide in people and make real friends. People can be so back-stabby.

It sounds as if you're doing all the right things. I know it's stressful, but it will pass. I surely wouldn't resign--that's probably exactly what they want you to do.

Not much help am I.

 

[Janice]

Hi Jules

I have no experience of this type of treatment either, it has been so long since I worked in a *normal* workbase but I wanted to offer my support and agree with what everyone here has said.

Stick with it if you can ........... if you give in to them, they will have achieved their objective!

{{{Hugs}}} and dont forget, we are all here to support and listen if you need us.

And dont worry Jules, this isnt off topic at all. We all come here for comfort and support at times, so dont feel that you shouldnt have posted.

 

[KiwiSue]

Reading what you are going through really put a sick feeling in my stomach because it really brought back to me all that I had been through in the past. My last job (I left 20 months ago to have a baby and never went back) was, on the surface, a wonderful job. I had a young child and took the job on the understanding that I was given flexibility to allow for childcare problems etc. Officially things were great. My direct managers were so cooperative and helped whenever they could, and the personnel department were wonderfully helpful. But it was the attitude of one of my work colleagues.

I was part of a group of 4 secretaries and the Chief Executive's secretary thought that I was getting favours that I had not 'earned' by being given flexibility in my hours and being allowed to work from home etc. She went out of her way to make my life a misery and she was so underhand and so malicious that it took me a year before I even realised what she was doing. Example - when a person has a birthday everyone does a big collection and and gets a present, and everyone goes out for drinks at lunch and generally a bit of a fuss is made over that person. On my birthday I was totally ignored. No present, no 'happy birthdays', nothing. I was really upset. Particularly as another girl in the office had her birthday on the same day and there was a collection and drinks and everything for her as usual. I was so depressed and so upset and wondered what I had done to offend everyone. It was not until six months later that I found that the CE's secretary had told everyone that I hated birthdays and hated all the fuss made and was really upset at being so old (!) and I would prefer that everyone ignored that fact that it was my birthday! Of course when I tackled her about it she was all innocence and said that she was only doing what she thought I wanted and 'must have misunderstood me.' This is only one example of a continuous three year campaign to undermine me, upset me and make me look bad. I would find myself blamed for mistakes made which I was not aware of. She would log onto the computer (she had access to all passwords through the CE's office records) and alter my work so I would leave one night having completed all the work, and arrive in the morning to find my boss upset that he had logged onto the work that I said was completed, and found a page missing. She even continued right up until the day I left - I was 8 months pregnant, it was the middle of summer and she would turn all the heating up and complain if I opened a window that there was a draft over her desk.

Believe me, I can well understand what you are going through. The last year before I left I got an annual bonus one quarter of what the other secretaries received and no pay rise. Even though my work was well up to standard. This was because the Chief Executive spoke to his secretary before he decided on bonuses.

What really surprises me is how long I put up with the treatment, and how much it affected my personality and my temperament. I made endless excuses why I should not leave - I needed the money, I was planning to get pregnant etc etc. I still don't know if I did the right thing in staying. But what I do know is that when I left it was like a huge weight from my shoulders and everyone I knew said that I was like a different person once I left.

I really cannot give you any practical advice. But I will never forget how much the stress of the situation affected me generally. There is no easy solution for what you are going through. I don't know what your circumstance are but I will say that if at all possible then get out of there as fast as possible. It won't get better, it won't go away, even if it is solved 'officially' you will still have people trying to 'get back' at you. Is it worth the fight and the stress and the upset it will cause to you? I wish I could give you some more optimistic advice but in my experience if you have someone like that in your office they are never going to change.

Please stand up for yourself and be as strong as possible. But please don't stick around just for the sake of it. If you have no choice then stand up and fight, but if you have the choice just cut your losses and get out fast.

Good luck, I really feel for you

Susan.

 

[Fantasia Sam]

Well this behaviour just shouldn't be allowed to happen.

Some of you may know I work in Personnel/Human resources whatever we'are calling it these days. I am shocked to hear your encounters with bullying in the work place.

Jules can I ask are your 2 line managers women? I know that sounds like an assumptive question but it always seems to me that a lot of bullying that I have come across in my job as been by other women who are in a greater position of "power". It astounds me how they behave, they are already in a good position and should have (we all know of other ways) earned their promotion through good performance and therefore you'd think they'd be happy with that. But really these women are "insecure female paranoia managers".

Don't get me wrong I know that men can be bullys as well but their bullying is actually more overt than covert and others see it for what it really is very quickly and it can be nipped in the bud.

Jealousy is always the common source and Jules that's what they are. After everything you've been through you are still able to fulfill your job requirements and that's what they can't handle. You did the right thing by getting your union involved and yes that may casue you more grief but I know that you are a strong person and you should not let people get away with this. You talked about the other manager being off sick well if you have a grievance and the manager is off sick you are entitled to then take your grievance to a higher level manager.

If you feel that this is making you ill then you have to, however unjustily this is, take the decision "is it all worth it".... health is a very precious gift and life is all too short. But then if you are quitting because of ill health casused by bullying I'm thinking "Constructive (or is it inconstructive I always get the 2 confused and I work in Personnel!!) Dismissal"... your union should know all about it otherwise take legal advice.

{{{hugs}}}

 

[signtalker]

Thankyou all for your kind words. In answers to peoples questions I cant remeber who asked what, then yes both my line managers are women, The union representative that came with me to the meeting I had, couldnt beleive how aggressive and blunt my line manager was, and said in all her time working at the college she had never met a person who really had no consideration for how i was feeling.

At present Im okay having a good week off, I know it will all change once I go back, i have a very strong personality and i think thats the problem here, leaving my job is not something i want to consider, ive worked very hard to get where i am, and there is no other place i can work in Norwich other than where i am.

My only fear is as somebody said on a reply earlier, is trying to proove what they are doing, at the end of the day its there word against mine, other members in the team, generally lick up to these people, so i have always tended to keep myself to myself. The union will support me i know, but ontop of everything thats happened with DD/DH and the day to day things we have to put up with DS it can be a struggle.

The funniest thing was i booked 10 days off from work for our trip in may next year to WDW, and was told as it was term time i couldnt take the leave!!, 2 members in our team had 2 weeks off last year in term time and nothing was said!!. As i have a disabled child i am legally allowed 18 weeks unpaid leave per year, yet still they are saying(or rather my line manager is) that i cant have it!!!. Oh well i have the last laugh i have the law on my side, and if theres any other parents out there with disabled children from april next year, you are legally allowed to apply for flexibile working, and work from home!.

Im going to try and stay positive about this and not let them win, and if they wanna play dirty so can i !!.

Its great to have all you guys to have a moan at, it is appreciated, and i will keep you uptodate on whats happening, thanyou all again for your kind words.

Jules

 

[SpottyDog]

Hiya mate, I know we've talked this through(ish) by matemail but I didn't want yer thinkin I was ignorin yer post or didn't care.

I agree with Sam that constructive dismissal will be yer ultimate defence against any future unbearable behaviour- though I know that's not on yer agenda and never likely to be.

Stay calm and focussed, keep yer diary and try not to let them talk to you on yer own for the time being - then you always have a witness so they'll have to watch what they say and do.

Watch yer Ps and Qs for a while so you give them no cause for complaint and it'll hopefully get resolved without tears.

In the mean time, come here and tell us all about it and if you have to rant and rave, me inbox is always open to yer, as yer know

PS..... should I send them one of me ever so stroppy and very long-winded indignant e mails? Yer've only got to say the word.

 

[Fantasia Sam]

Originally posted by signtalker
....I'm going to try and stay positive about this and not let them win, and if they wanna play dirty so can i !!.

Its great to have all you guys to have a moan at, it is appreciated, and i will keep you uptodate on whats happening, thanyou all again for your kind words.

Jules

Way to go Jules. We're all here for you

 

[signtalker]

Dave you can send whatever emails you like to them LOL!!!!!

As long as you remember to send me one of those emails that have me in fits of laughter!.

Jules

 

[WDWfan uk]

I'm sorry I'm late with a reply Jules but I've been away however, I wanted to at least add some moral support.
I'm hoping that you'll be able to stick it out - your ability and talent for your job cannot have gone unnoticed by others and therefore you are a valuable employer. I do not think they should be allowed to continue or get away with this and as loathe as you are to take it further, I'd certainly consider it - bullies need to be outed and stopped, whether they are children at school or nasty folk at work.
Anyway, feel free to 'vent' here as often as you like - I hate to think of you going through this stress.

 

[Sue's Mum]

Gosh Jules, I don't know what to say - except I'm always astounded at how *****y some people can be. How bitter and twisted they must feel - I would hate to feel in such a way that I had to resort to bullying etc. I just can't understand it at all, try as I may.

Lots of love and PD and {{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}. I truly hope you find the strength to outwit these nasty people, without too much anxiety to you and your family.