OT: When It is Time To Go To School...

[devotedchristian]

What is your child(ren)'s temperament?

When it's time for DS(6) to go to school, he just doesn't want to. He doesn't argue or whine or cry or anything like that, his demeanor is like "okay, let me get this over with".

Yesterday, he said "I just want to stay in my little home because I love my home and I want to play".

Now, when DH picks him up from school everyday, he gets excitedly into the car and everyday, they call me at work. I always ask "how was school today?" and he is all excited and says "I had a Great Day!) and then proceeds to tell me how much fun he had wit his friends. He LOVES coming home, kicking off his shoes and then playing.

I know the signs of Bullying so I do not think he is being bullied. The flip side is, DS is very popular in his class and he has lots of friends. He also loves going to the schools Fall Festival because he is immediately surrounded by his friends and they all run off and go play.

But when it is time to get up and get ready to go in the mornings he's just....well Blah!

DH says to me he thinks most kids are not excited about going to school and the kids who are just thrilled and over excited about going are in the the minority. I disagree with that.

I think most kids ARE excited about going to school....I think...

What about your child?

 

[Darcy03231]

DS (now a sophomore in high school) has always hated to go to school! DD on the other hand (now a senior) has always loved school. It just depends on the child.

 

[devotedchristian]

Thanks Darcy, that does help.

 

[Leajess99]

My 6 year old has good days and bad days and they all depend on the amount of sleep she has had. She loves school but is not that much of a morning person. What is your morning routine like?? Do you think he is getting enough sleep at night?? These are things to look at. My dd did not like school on more days last year but I later found out about a lot of things happening that did not make me happy. She no longer attends that school (long story but one issue was teachers removing food from her plate to eat at lunch and another was not giving her her inhaler as needed which was daily due to mold problem) but we still have some mornings that she does not want to get up or go to school. It is part of being a kid I think.

 

[RMulieri]

My 5 yr old just started Kindergarten last month.She has her good days and bad days.The other day she cried she wants to stay home with Mommy.I think kids have their days.I loved school as a kid, but I do remember clearly days where I would cry to stay home.

 

[devotedchristian]

I'm going to curriculum night next week and I'm hoping it will shed some light on how his average day goes.

He fights going to bed at night (always have as an infant and toddler), he wants to play.

So he ends up going a little later and only gets about 9 hours. But that's a good point, I'm going to measure the difference in his attitude when he gets more sleep.

Fridays though, he loves because it's called Fun Friday at school. He gets to go to the fun center (where there are toys) and play. Of course...

 

[scottish mum]

My kids are usually quite happy going off to school but sometimes if they have had a late night they are are more sluggish and just don't want to go. I think getting the right amount of sleep will help. Also do you have a set morning routine. I know if my kids get up and watch tv then they can't be bothered getting ready, so we have no tv in the mornings same for playing, no playing unless they are completely ready for school.

 

[laceemouse]

Many, many years ago, like in Little House on the Prairie times, kids did not start formal education at such an early age. Many people, even now, still think it is wrong to expect a 5, 6, or even 7 year old child to sit in a desk and be quiet for so many hours of the day. It is not natural, and many feel it is not even healthy. Boys, in particular, have a problem with that.
School is set up for a certain kind of kid with a certain kind of learning style. Basically they want you to sit still, learn from listening (not talking or using your hands) and then do worksheets (boring for many kids!) Is this the best way for anyone to learn? Maybe not, but it IS the best way to control a large classroom of kids!
Check out some books from the library on learning styles. Kids who like to learn through doing will prefer playing to "seat work." Many kids can be trained out of this, but many parents are now catching on to the fact that they can do it better at home. That is why we started homeschooling.
I am not saying homeschooling is for everyone, but it is the right choice for some kids, and leads to a lot more family time. The Bible has a lot to say about family time, and how churches should be run, but not a word about school.
Of course he loves the social stuff at school, but school is really not set up for socializing, most teachers tell kids to shut up and STOP socializing!

 

[laceemouse]

I have to add though, I loved school as a kid. Loved it! But out of my 4 kids only one really enjoyed it, the other three were just different kinds of learners.

 

[mjkacmom]

My kids (with the exception of dd13, of course) are pretty happy and animated. However, they're usually playing after they get ready - no TV on school mornings. Their play is pretty active, so lots of laughter! It's like a daily playdate at our house, but with siblings.

Now, after school, they're REALLY happy and animated!

 

[princessmom29]

Many, many years ago, like in Little House on the Prairie times, kids did not start formal education at such an early age. Many people, even now, still think it is wrong to expect a 5, 6, or even 7 year old child to sit in a desk and be quiet for so many hours of the day. It is not natural, and many feel it is not even healthy. Boys, in particular, have a problem with that.
School is set up for a certain kind of kid with a certain kind of learning style. Basically they want you to sit still, learn from listening (not talking or using your hands) and then do worksheets (boring for many kids!) Is this the best way for anyone to learn? Maybe not, but it IS the best way to control a large classroom of kids!
Check out some books from the library on learning styles. Kids who like to learn through doing will prefer playing to "seat work." Many kids can be trained out of this, but many parents are now catching on to the fact that they can do it better at home. That is why we started homeschooling.
I am not saying homeschooling is for everyone, but it is the right choice for some kids, and leads to a lot more family time. The Bible has a lot to say about family time, and how churches should be run, but not a word about school.
Of course he loves the social stuff at school, but school is really not set up for socializing, most teachers tell kids to shut up and STOP socializing!

I totally and completely disagree. I think you are selling kids short by saying it is "not natural" for them to be able to function in a classroom. they are capable of functioning just fine in a classroom that is developmentally on target. A 5 year old IS capable of quite time in a desk for a period of time. Mabye not a much as a 10 year old, but almost every 5 year old is more than capable of handling 30 min in a desk. I don't know what type of school you are basing the argument on, but my DD in K doesn't spend more than 30 min at a time sitting in a desk. School, at least the good ones, is simply not like this anymore. My dd does art, music, science lab, story time, spanish once a week. They have morning "rug time", lessons at their desk, then recess, lunch, special subject, center time while teacher works with reading groups, P.E., end of day wrap up and home. She DOES NOT sit in a desk all day, and this system is gradually adapted to more seat time through 5th grade.
I resent the implication that teachers are the "bad guy". I love and care about my students and would never, ever tell one to shut up!!! Most teachers worth their salt these days are incorporating multipel intelligences into their teaching methods, and days are not spent doing worksheets anyomre. Any teacher that did that in our school would shortly find themselves without a job!!! Yes, quiet time spent in a desk is necessary, but just as necessary in the hands on of a science lab, or the group work done on a history presentation. It is about balancing all learning styles in the room so that everyone gets what they need.

 

[happymommy]

Back to your original question, first of all, I wouldn't worry too much. The fact that he is in a good pleasant happy mood when he comes home is a good sign. He obviously had some fun during the day!

It is important for kids that are growing to get their sleep. They do not know on their own how much sleep they need (my son used to be a horrible sleeper until he was diagnosed with ADHD and started on medicine). It can be so hard to get them to quiet down and sleep - we used to lie in bed with my son to get him to fall asleep (frequently when I did that, I'd fall asleep for a little while, ugh it was so hard). When we rush in the morning, I know now my son gets all out of sorts and crabby. I try to give my kids more time than many moms do, but in the morning we need time to eat, dress, brush teeth, etc... and I can't do that in under an hour and a half with my kids.

Maybe when we have the (go figure why we really do it) time change, it will be easier to get him to bed at night. Or try upping the bedtime a few minutes every few days, to see if you can get him to bed a little earlier. That way he may be more refreshed in the morning.

You could also play silly games, like name one thing fun that he's looking forward to that day - even if it's lunch or snack time, just something.

Good luck! You obviously are a good parent to be so concerned, but I'm sure it'll all be fine!

 

[KAMKIM]

I wouldn't say most kids are excited to go to school. Mine dont mind going to school so much but HATE getting up early. They come home excited about their day so I know there are no issues there - its just getting out of bed that bothers them

 

[GEM]

One question I would ask.....Is he getting enough unstructured play time at home after school and in the evenings? Or, is in he in activities that keep him busy most of the time? Sports, dance, karate, etc. are great for kids, BUT, kids that age need lots of unstructured free play time! It's very, very important for them for all sorts of reasons. There's tons of research on the subject of how vital free play is...and how most of our kids don't get enough time to enjoy it. He may be getting plenty of that, but it's just something I wanted to bring up.

Honestly, my six year old (in K this year, we started him a year late) is one of those "loves to go to school" kids. But, I do agree that all kids are different, and that the fact that he gets off to a slow start in the mornings doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Eh- most kids in general are not doing cartwheels when they get out of bed and it is a school day. Not that they hate school, but let's be honest, who really feels like doing something every day that they get out of bed? Kids, like adults like to lounge in their pjs and watch some tv etc. Maybe your child isn't a morning person. He's having a great day so maybe he needs to get his day started for a bit before he snaps out of it.

OT-
As for the whole "kids are too young to learn" stuff. Well that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Kids are capable of a lot more than some people give them credit for. I am also so tired of hearing about how boys cannot sit still etc. I have boys and girls and their gender makes no difference in their ability to behave. That argument drives me nuts.

 

[zoemurr]

My DD (6th grade) loves school and goes off with a smile every morning.

My DS (3rd) would definitely stay home if he could. He is smart, has a lot of friends, and has had wonderful teachers. He's just a shy, mommy's boy, home-body type of kid. Given almost any choice he would rather be home with me. He doesn't cry or argue (although the first few years we did have a lot of "tummyaches" but he certainly doesn't skip to the bus stop, and I get a lot of hugs in the morning.

 

[brergnat]

OP: FYI, 9 hours is not enough sleep for a 6 year old, if he's not taking a nap in the afternoon.

A 6 year old needs approximately 10.5-12 hours of sleep every night. This could explain why he's so crabby in the mornings.

Lack of enough sleep can be REALLY detrimental to kids. It can manifest as behavioral problems, ADD, and a host of other issues. Too little sleep one night leads to overtiredness the next night, which leads to worse quality sleep and MORE over tiredness, and the problem snowballs from there.

Try to get him on a bedtime schedule, and be firm about it. If it takes him an hour to settle down and fall asleep, put him to bed an hour before you want him to BE asleep. This is what we have to do with our son. He is 5 and has Autism, and falling asleep is his hardest problem. His mind just races all day and come bedtime, he has a very hard time "quieting his mind" and going to sleep. Since I need him up at 7am, we put him to bed at 7pm, and usually, it takes him until 8 or 8:30 to ACTUALLY fall asleep. We found that removing all of the toys and playthings from his room and having a separate playroom for those things helped a lot. Now, he just stays in bed and talks to himself, but he doesn't get OUT of bed to play. We even had to remove the lamp from his room, so he wouldn't have a light to turn on. BUT, he's rested every morning and eager to be off to school!

 

[Whistle]

Okay, I am a teacher and this is my two cents for what it is worth . . .

I think what you are seeing with your son is perfectly normal. I see it with my two boys and experience it myself some days. I LOVE my job, I love the children I work with, and I love being at school. All that being said, I love my home and family even more and some days would love to be able to stay home. I give it everything I've got once I get there though! I think he may feel the same- school is fine for him once he is there, but he enjoys being at home even more.

Oh, and not all teachers keep an entire room managed by keeping kids still and quiet and giving them worksheets. I teach 7 and 8 year olds who require movement and activity (what child doesn't). I teach in small groups where we rotate areas approx. every 15 to 20 minutes. At least one area has a center where the children build/manipulate/play with blocks, manipulatives, etc I am fortunate that I am in a collaborative classroom where there are 2 of us in the room (one with me, one with the sped teacher, one with manipulatives, and one group at a center)-- rotate every 15 minutes. We teach math this way. It works beautifully! It is much easier to manage this b/c it fits the learning styles of children.

 

[princessmom29]

OP: FYI, 9 hours is not enough sleep for a 6 year old, if he's not taking a nap in the afternoon.

A 6 year old needs approximately 10.5-12 hours of sleep every night. This could explain why he's so crabby in the mornings.

Lack of enough sleep can be REALLY detrimental to kids. It can manifest as behavioral problems, ADD, and a host of other issues. Too little sleep one night leads to overtiredness the next night, which leads to worse quality sleep and MORE over tiredness, and the problem snowballs from there.

Try to get him on a bedtime schedule, and be firm about it. If it takes him an hour to settle down and fall asleep, put him to bed an hour before you want him to BE asleep. This is what we have to do with our son. He is 5 and has Autism, and falling asleep is his hardest problem. His mind just races all day and come bedtime, he has a very hard time "quieting his mind" and going to sleep. Since I need him up at 7am, we put him to bed at 7pm, and usually, it takes him until 8 or 8:30 to ACTUALLY fall asleep. We found that removing all of the toys and playthings from his room and having a separate playroom for those things helped a lot. Now, he just stays in bed and talks to himself, but he doesn't get OUT of bed to play. We even had to remove the lamp from his room, so he wouldn't have a light to turn on. BUT, he's rested every morning and eager to be off to school!

Most, but not all require that much sleep. My DD has never required the normal amount of sleep. She is 5 and never sleeps more that 8 hours a night. She just doesn't, and if she has a nap she is up until midnight. It is not because she is not given opportunity. Placed in bed in a dark room with no toys she will lay in bed and make up imaginary friends to talk to. It makes no difference what time i put her in bed she will not sleep before she is ready. We go to bed at 8 and get up at 5:30. The only tims she has stayed in bed longer is when she was running fever with the flu. She just does not need that much sleep.
ADD IS NOT caused by too little sleep. It is a neurotransmitter deficit. The symtoms can be made more apparent by lack of sleep, but getiing enough WILL NOT make it go away. Medication is the only thing that will really make a difference long term. i have read the studies!

 

[Hannathy]

Most, but not all require that much sleep. My DD has never required the normal amount of sleep. She is 5 and never sleeps more that 8 hours a night. She just doesn't, and if she has a nap she is up until midnight. It is not because she is not given opportunity. Placed in bed in a dark room with no toys she will lay in bed and make up imaginary friends to talk to. It makes no difference what time i put her in bed she will not sleep before she is ready. We go to bed at 8 and get up at 5:30. The only tims she has stayed in bed longer is when she was running fever with the flu. She just does not need that much sleep.
ADD IS NOT caused by too little sleep. It is a neurotransmitter deficit. The symtoms can be made more apparent by lack of sleep, but getiing enough WILL NOT make it go away. Medication is the only thing that will really make a difference long term. i have read the studies!

Absolutely 100% agree with you about sleep. Not every child needs that much and hate when people insist on putting kids to bed when they don't need it. My DD never even as a baby needed more than 8 ish hours of sleep. She probably slept more as a teenager than nay other time in her life (but that was more like sleeping till noon on a Saturday!) My DS only needs about 8-9.

Back to the original question- My DD loves school and learning is an excellent student, in all accelerated classes even taking University classes in high school BUT I could never say she bounded off to school all smiles and joy.
She never didn't want to go and liked it there and would go she just never said I can't wait to get there. As long as he is OK once there and performing ok I'd just chalk it up to his personality. There are actors after all who get sick before performances or get terrible stage fright but once on stage are great and would never dream of giving up acting.