OT - when do you think kids should have their own bedroom?

[gris gris]

Maybe some of you saw my thread on the budget board re: adding on to our house (it has 2 bedrooms). We have a new baby boy (almost 3 months) plus a 4 year old daughter. DD has her own room that's very small, there is no way I can fit the baby in there as well.

DH & I gave up our bedroom and now the baby sleeps in there along with his crib, dresser, etc....it's a real nursery decorated for a boy.

DH & I currently are sleeping in our family room. But we have no privacy, no door and really no place for people to sit when they come to our house (unless they want to sit on our bed!). Our closets are still in our old room with the baby.

My DIS friends on the budget board have convinced me to hold of on adding on to our house and to rearrange what we have currently.

So, I'm thinking of moving DH & I back to our old room and moving the baby's crib/dresser into the family room. Then we can put our couch back in the family room too. Our basement is finished so TV watching can take place down there. At some point DH & I can move our bedroom down there but for now I really want to sleep on the same level as the kids.

My question is, at what age do you think a child really needs their own space? How long can we last with this set up?

 

[LynnTH]

I have 2 kids - DS7 and DD5. They both have their own room - but, my DD5 sleeps with her brother almost every night. He has a double bed and she doesn't like being in her room alone. He doesn't mind so it works out great (then she is not in with us). So, I would say you have a little time. I'm sure my DS will not want his little sister in with him forever but for now they are both fine with it.

 

[Desnik]

I shared a room with my sister till I was 17!!!

I am one that likes to have each kid have their own room. Right now we have a 3 bedroom house and 2 kids, a boy and girl. We are expecting our 3rd and will put an addition on the house. Bedrooms aren't big enough to share. We will make a master bedroom suite. If you don't mind me asking, why have you decided against it?
For now, why can't you just go back into your bedroom and keep the baby there with you in the crib until a year old? Then reevaluate the situation then.

 

[ardig123]

could you give dd and ds your bedroom and then you and DH could have DD's old room. You could redecorate the bedroom and make it more neutral for both boy/girl. I know tons of childrens decorating books have suggestions for decorating a room when boy and girl share. We only have 2 bedrooms in our house and when I was pregnant we were research all options as far as maybe having a boy who would have to share with my dd. It ended up working out that we had another girl so the entire room is pink, pink, and more pink.

 

[gris gris]

I have 2 kids - DS7 and DD5. They both have their own room - but, my DD5 sleeps with her brother almost every night. He has a double bed and she doesn't like being in her room alone. He doesn't mind so it works out great (then she is not in with us). So, I would say you have a little time. I'm sure my DS will not want his little sister in with him forever but for now they are both fine with it.

What a great big brother!!!! Lucky girl! This is why I always wanted a big bro!

If you don't mind me asking, why have you decided against it?
For now, why can't you just go back into your bedroom and keep the baby there with you in the crib until a year old? Then reevaluate the situation then.

You know what I never really thought of keeping him in the room with us in his crib. I'll have to do some measuring! Thanks for the good idea! We'd have to use all of our savings for an addition and I'm losing my job next month. So my plan really is to add on once I have another job and we're comfortable with using the savings up. This would just be temporary. Congrats on #3!

could you give dd and ds your bedroom and then you and DH could have DD's old room.

DD bedroom is so small it only fits a twin bed & dresser! I wish we could move into hers because she has her own bathroom!

 

[Desnik]

DS room was also so small all it fit was a dresser and toddler bed!!!LOL
I can feel your pain there!
We just broke the wall that seperated our kids rooms because DD's room was huge! So, now their rooms are almost the same size. It wasn't hard to do either. Also, we had DS in our room until about 1, in his crib. He is 3 now, DD is 8 and they really need their own space. I guess because they are different genders and far apart in age, DD doesn't want her lil brother messing with her toys!!LOL

I'm glad my suggestion might work for you! I would also wait to do the add on in your situation.
Good luck and I hope everything works out!!

 

[WantToGoNow]

We kept my dd2 in our room in her crib until her first birthday. It wasn't because we didn't have the room, but that I wasn't ready to part with her. Just before her birthday, we moved the crib into my son's room. At 17 months we took the crib down and bought bunk beds for them. My dd22 has the smaller of the 3 bedrooms -- if she ever moves out then we will redecorate that for dd2 and ds5 will have his own room again. Right now this works for us as dd2 and ds5 will not go to bed unless the other one is in there. Just yesterday we unbunked the bunk beds and moved some of their toys to the playroom in the basement.

 

[PaulaSue]

Why not have the baby in your room. Makes late night feedings easier.

Then when baby is older you can get a bunk bed and then the kida can ahre the other room until you have a bigger house.

 

[belle&beast]

We also have a 2 bedroom house and have plans to add on eventually. Luckily our kids' bedroom is large enough to share with a walk in closet. My DD is 5 and DS is 2.5 and they will probably share for 2 more years. One cannot sleep without the other even though they have their own beds, they like the security of the other in the room. We are saving for an addition, so it won't be for awhile, but even though they are different genders, I am not worried about it right now.

 

[brymolmom]

Just my 2 cents...

I think having kids share a room is great for as long as you can/need to...of course - there might be more fights too, but I think it lends to a situation of learning to get along out of necessity. You also learn more about consideration, etc.

When I went to college, living in a dorm room - you could honestly tell which kids had their own rooms and which shared. Here they were 18 years old and had no idea how to share a room and be considerate of shared space with someone else. Many roommates were quite disgruntled with their assigned mate due to this fact.

If you can swing it with the crib for awhile...maybe when the baby is out of the crib - you could get bunk beds and keep them in one room??

There are so many plusses - don't focus on the negative side.

My 2 kids (ds4 and dd2) have shared a room since dd was born. We do have extra bedrooms and I guess I'll have to let them have their own space eventually - but I'll keep them together as long as possible.

Good luck!

 

[Zoemakes5]

Something we did......
We had a family room in the basement and made that the boys' room when DD came along and we moved her out of our room. They had enough space to both sleep and play. We bought a wardrobe at kmart and then later another one at Ikea for their clothes. They loved it. The room that was their bedroom was just too small for them. (They could fit in it, but that's about it.) We used that room as the computer room (and then my cousin's room when she was living with us).
We did have a living room upstairs that we all watched tv in, and it also had some of DD's toys in it, so we did still have "family" space.
We lived that way until DD was three, DS1 was 10 and DS2 was 8.

 

[ceiligh1]

I grew up in a very small 2 bedroom house. My sister and I shared a bedroom that also doubled as a laundry room until I was 17 and she was 14. The key for us was to be able to have our own space. We had the bunkbeds and when we got older and didnt play with toys anymore we unbunked them. at that point we hung curtins from the ceiling around each bed. This allowed us to have our own space while still sharing. It doesnt even need to be a big space just some space each can go to and the other one can not take over.
Yes sharing caused more fights but as another poster said you learn to live with someone before you move out and have a roommate.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

I had our kids share a room until it became too big of a hassle with them bothering each other. ie. crying, playing when one is sleeping, hurting eachother, ect.

My kids slept in our family room in their bassinet until they were too big for it.

 

[shaylahc1]

I'm 32 and I still don't have my own room

 

[dijid]

I don't think kids ever *need* their own room. They may want it, but don't need it. Heck, DH's family was so strapped that they had 2 twin beds for 4 kids for years.

That said, your children are of different genders. I know other people who have a boy and girl share rooms out of necessity without problems. But as a general guideline, I would say when your youngest is 5 it may become harder. Most public swimming pools around here do not allow a child over the age of 5 to enter a different restroom. Kids naturally become a little more desirable of privacy at this age. But it just might mean scheduling bathroom time alone in your house and not having to add another room.

 

[mom2taylorandemily]

My girls have always had their own rooms. One has a double bed and the other has bunk beds. They have sleepovers in each others rooms all the time, but they each have their own space.

 

[MomofKatie]

Luckily, our DD has always had her own room (she's an only child)- even when she was a tiny baby. She never slept in the same room as DH and I. I couldn't sleep with her righ beside me- I was too jumpy over every little sound!! She has been in her own room with the door closed since birth.

Sharing is fine as long as both kids are OK with it- I wouldn't have a boy and girl share much past the age of 5 or 6, though- they tend to need more privacy around then.

 

[rt2dz]

I do believe kids should have their own room. You can't kick someone out of their own room to hang out with friends and you can't keep someone from bringing friends into your own room. And I do believe their is a bigger need when of opposite genders and when the space is small. But having said that, those needs come up a little later in life than at your own children's ages, so you have some time.

You've gotten some great suggestions at how to make it work--keeping baby with you (my third just moved into his own room & he is just two weeks shy of his first birthday) and bunk beds would have been two of my own. I'd also like to add using a sleeper sofa as a bed & possibly putting your daughter to sleep there; closet space/arrangements can stay the same. What about also adding a Murphy bed (discreet, looking like cabinets) to your family room for you and your DH.

And remember, whatever you have, WILL work. It has no choice. And no one will come out the worse for wear.

 

[DW2006]

I haven't read the other replies yet. So I may repeat others. I think your answers and opinions on this will vary greatly. But if you think back through the years...it is just in the last 20 years or so that houses have grown to such large porportions and kids all have bedrooms and gamerooms and homework rooms etc. NOW I don't think those are bad things. But they are not by any means necessary things. KWIM? My opinion is that while they are kids...it's just really not that big of a deal. Their true need for ''privacy'' is just not that great when they are young. Now as they get into the middle school age range/pre teens I can see a need esp with a boy and a girl of wanting their own space.