OT: What would you have done in this situation???

[Grendalynn]

This is sooo off topic from what we generally discuss on these boards, but tell me what you guys would have done in this situation, its eaten me up all day and night:

We live in a pretty rural part of New Hampshire. On a street with other houses right close by. In the past we have had some sketchy people in the neighborhood, selling drugs and other domestic situations. Not your typical things for this area- very rare, just happened to be on our street/neighborhood. They are gone an all is good now....Generally this town if pretty quiet with minimal violance or bad things. We rarely lock our doors and leave the keys in the ignition inour vehicles and have NEVER had a problem.

Last night we had some stormy(super windy) weather. The wind was howling and we ended up losing power for about an hour. PURE BLACK OUT - no phones, no electricty, nada. This is just after 1AM - All of a sudden, we hear banging on our front door and a "hello - hello"? Like someone was right in our entry way... WE WERE TOTALLY FREAKED OUT! Mind you we have NO lights and NO phone, only our cell phones - one in my pocketbook and wherever DH happed to put his before bed! So Dh goes to the door and someone is trying to open the (unlocked) door!! Thank goodness DH is a strong man, so he pushed the door back and locked it while the guy was turnig the knob!!!! Dh asked if he could help him and the guy said his alarm was going off and asked if he could come in... meanwhile the guy is still pushing on the door. The man says that he is in his underware and wants to come in. DH tells the guy I am calling the police and he continues to stand there... Not quite sure where he lives -in the freezing cold in his underware ... This guy is one of our neighbors, he lives right next door. He is a yound 20-something guy who moved in late November; yet he has never introduced himself, walks everywhere -no car - in and out at all hours of the day and night and different people in and out at all hours... We have said "hello" "hey there", "hey, how are ya" to him on many occasions and not much interest/friendlyness back... Come to find out he suffers from some sort of mental illness (schizophrenia i think). But we did not know that at the time. ((No flames please - this was a very hard situation to know what to do in, not to mention being 1/2 asleep at 1 am))

2 Policemen show up and tell him to stay still and explain the situation. This is when we realized he didnt have any shoes on! They get things figured out and come to find out the batteries in his smoke alarms were beeping. No fire, no real "alarms"... nothing majorly wrong or harmful. THe police take him inside his house and call the fire department. The police come over and explian the situtation and that they believe he has a mental illness and that one of the cops know who he is...

Now this is where I am struggling with my concience: Should we have let him in (mind you we didnt know him or about his illnesss)?? or were we right to keep him outside with the door locked? His house was clearly not on fire... No smoke, no flames... but it was really cold out and he was barely dressed... remember - it was picth black and we had no phone or light to see... it was a black out and we were in a very vulnerable situation... wouldnt you go back to your house and put some cloths on? Part of me feels badly we didnt allow him in, but we have 3 small boys and my familys safety and security is our primary responcibility. The lady with 911 said not to allow him in, DH said not to, but for some reason I still feel badly. I have thought about this all day!!

 

[asktriplets]

i would have done the EXACT same thing! safety comes first!!!!!

 

[StephMK]

NO! Do not feel badly at all!! First, how could his alarm go off w/o power & if so, wouldn't he grab at least a coat on his way out? NO, too many odd things going on there, you did the right thing. Other than maybe throwing a blanket out a window to him, I would not have let him in either.

Maybe he was harmless but maybe not. Do you watch Criminal Minds? They just showed the rerun of the one where a nice guy comes to a family's door w/a hurt cat. Said he ran over it, needs a phone, etc. Well, they go get something to help & come back..... won't spoil it for anyone but not a happy ending.

Plus not to be really scary but my BF's cousin has mental issues & was just arrested for a serious crime. No flames pls, I also know people w/ mental health that are perfectly nice but you didn't know who was at the door & you should feel fine that you made the right choice.

Ok, saw the part where it was smoke alarms - still you had no clue of his situation until the cops & that was the right way to handle it.

 

[livndisney]

I would not have let him in. He was in fact a stranger (mind you we didnt know him or about his illnesss. I don't think you should feel bad. You had no idea. If someone is trying to get into my house at 1am, the "right" thing to do is keep them out and call the police. Your responibility is to your family not to a neighbor you have not met. Call the police and let them handle it.

 

[starrzone]

I think you did the absolutely right thing in trusting your instincts. Your first priority is to protect YOUR family, and that's just what you did. We all have this innate duty to help others, but there's a big difference between giving someone a quarter to use the payphone and letting a complete stranger into your home, AT NIGHT, when you have no phones or power. It makes me shiver just thinking about it...the situation just makes no sense to me. If he lives next door, why didn't he just go to his OWN house? Did he think you had phone service and he didn't?

I'm blabbing as usual, but there are just so many situations like this that do NOT turn out well. Thank goodness you have good common sense!

 

[eyeheartgoofy]

It isn't like you just let him stay on your porch freezing all night. You called the authorities for help. I think you did the right thing given the circumstances you described. Try not to second guess yourself.

 

[Merriwind]

You absolutely did the right thing! The police came and helped your neighbor.

Please start locking your doors at night.

 

[Grendalynn]

So many quick responces... it is reassuring to know others would have and would do the same thing!! I just had visions of a CSI show or anything you've seen on the news happening in our house. My heart was racing for the rest of the night, i could not get to sleep for hours!!! It was only about 10+ minutes, but felt like an eternity when I was on the phone with the 911 dispatcher!! Just a soft spot in me to help others, but my family does come first!! Thanks fo rthe support!!

 

[tlbwriter]

No rational person would try to enter your house uninvited, so you were completely right to keep him out there and call for help.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

Yes! you did the right thing.
If that had happend around here he would have ended up getting shot. Nobody has the right to try to come into your house like that, mental illness or not.

 

[Danielle25]

You absolutely did the right thing. No way I would have let him into my house either.

BTW, I have a really good friend who lives right up in your neck of the woods.

 

[LilGMom]

I would have done the same thing only I would have had Mr. Glock in my hand and would have let the person on the other side of the door know about it.

I think I'd start locking doors if I were you.

 

[daisyduck123]

You did the right thing.

I would've never let him in...I don't care how poorly he was dressed. That was his fault. If you don't want to be stuck outside half-naked...then don't sleep in your underwear. You never know what could happen.

**Lock your doors from now on.

 

[mommytobug]

You did the right thing. I work with the mentally ill every day. While most of the time they are harmless even if off meds, sometimes they are not. He probably really thought he was doing the right thing. He did not look at as though he was breaking in, he was simply getting help when he heard the alarms (and his thinking does not tell him he is in his undies, simply I have to get help). Thank you for not shooting him like some would. Thank you for having an open mind. Thank you for speaking to him even if he does not always respond. I wander if he has family that he would let you have numbers to so you could call when you see abnormal behavior. The mentally ill are often stigmatized when they sometimes just need some extra understanding. I would keep your doors locked. There is always a chance he could become violent. What a great oppurtunity to educate your kids about diversity in our country. Glad you all are ok and it was nothing more than this!!

 

[mommytobug]

You did the right thing.

I would've never let him in...I don't care how poorly he was dressed. That was his fault. If you don't want to be stuck outside half-naked...then don't sleep in your underwear. You never know what could happen.

**Lock your doors from now on.

I know this is TMI but my husband and I would be SOL if something happened. We sleep in our birthday suits!!

 

[Grendalynn]

You absolutely did the right thing. No way I would have let him into my house either.

BTW, I have a really good friend who lives right up in your neck of the woods.

Really? I would love to chat and see if we know them!!

I would have done the same thing only I would have had Mr. Glock in my hand and would have let the person on the other side of the door know about it.

I think I'd start locking doors if I were you.

Locking doors, yes! And believe me - DH has several hunting rifles and a revolver, I think should probably learn how to use them, God forbid! !!?? Better safe than sorry!

 

[_queenie_]

I agree, I think you did the right thing, but use this as a lesson, now you need to lock your doors!

We live in low-crime rate state of NH also (seacoast), and many people around here wouldn't even think of locking their doors. Some friends of ours even left their doors wide open while they went on vacation for the week (700k house! )! We've always locked our doors (lately we've even been setting the alarm when we go out to eat), and that really was a good thing when someone tried to break into our house a couple of years ago. Luckily, my DH is an early riser, and was in the bathroom when he heard knocking on the door. He came out to discover a man dressed in black with a beanie type hat (whatever it's called) and a knife, testing the door from our porch to see if it was locked. My DH isn't a huge guy at 5'11" and 185 lbs (he used to play hockey though), but he went over and knocked on the door to scare the guy away. He was going to call the police, but right when he picked up the phone he heard sirens. The robber ran into the woods and they didn't catch him until the next day in the town to the north of us. He had buried all of the cash, jewelery and watches is the mud along the river. I guess the guy had cleaned out the whole cul-de-sac, since no one locks their doors. Alot of people learned the lock-your-door lesson that morning, yet no one even listens to is when we tell them that even though the NH crime rate is low, it's not nonexistant!

 

[Grendalynn]

I agree, I think you did the right thing, but use this as a lesson, now you need to lock your doors!

We live in low-crime rate state of NH also (seacoast), and many people around here wouldn't even think of locking their doors. Some friends of ours even left their doors wide open while they went on vacation for the week (700k house! )! We've always locked our doors (lately we've even been setting the alarm when we go out to eat), and that really was a good thing when someone tried to break into our house a couple of years ago. Luckily, my DH is an early riser, and was in the bathroom when he heard knocking on the door. He came out to discover a man dressed in black with a beanie type hat (whatever it's called) and a knife, testing the door from our porch to see if it was locked. My DH isn't a huge guy at 5'11" and 185 lbs (he used to play hockey though), but he went over and knocked on the door to scare the guy away. He was going to call the police, but right when he picked up the phone he heard sirens. The robber ran into the woods and they didn't catch him until the next day in the town to the north of us. He had buried all of the cash, jewelery and watches is the mud along the river. I guess the guy had cleaned out the whole cul-de-sac, since no one locks their doors. Alot of people learned the lock-your-door lesson that morning, yet no one even listens to is when we tell them that even though the NH crime rate is low, it's not nonexistant!

...Seacoast, mountains, country,city ... no matter what; it seems to be a sign of the times. NH and elsewhere. In all honesty, locked doors only keep the honest people out unfortunatly!?

 

[MinnieTink]

I wouldn't give it another thought. Your family is Number One and you have to protect your children. The guy is lucky that you or DH did not have a gun. At 1 in the morning, I would be SO freaked out. And my DH! Oh forget it. If there was a weird dude, in only his drawers, in freezing cold weather, trying to get in to our house....Oh boy, mental illness or not, the dude would have been grabbed by his jewels and thrown about 50 feet out into the street. Seriously, tho, keep an eye on that guy, and keep your doors locked from now on.

 

[Grendalynn]

I wouldn't give it another thought. Your family is Number One and you have to protect your children. The guy is lucky that you or DH did not have a gun. At 1 in the morning, I would be SO freaked out. And my DH! Oh forget it. If there was a weird dude, in only his drawers, in freezing cold weather, trying to get in to our house....Oh boy, mental illness or not, the dude would have been grabbed by his jewels and thrown about 50 feet out into the street. Seriously, tho, keep an eye on that guy, and keep your doors locked from now on.

Oh!!! Thanks for the laugh! I needed that. I have been a mess all day today and am now paranoid to walk past the front door - WHICH IS LOCKED BTW!! I havent seen the guy from next door today and I think it could be an awkward moment when I/we do....