OT--Trouble at School??

[Silverbelle990]

My son is 6 years old and in first grade. He is having a terrible time with the school work. He come home and has no clue whatsoever on how to do the homeowrk. We are counting money right now with dimes nickles and pennies. Iw ent out and bought play money to help but he really has no clue. Now opur school district set up a meeting and we are going to try to figure out what to do but i am so at a loss. We usuaaly end up screaming at each other and he cries because he has no clue on what to do. Ia sk him what he learned in school and get "I don't Know...the teacher helped me." Please help me think of what else to do...i am at a loss

 

[daisyduck123]

Hi!!!

I'm a 1st grade teacher....I'm wondering if he's having a hard time just with counting coins, or in many areas in school? Please keep in mind, (and I tell this to each parent at parent-teacher conferences every November) that IMO, counting coins in the HARDEST thing in Math that 1st graders will do all year. Everything else is "cake" compared to this skill.

** Can he count by 5s & 10s to 100? He can't learn to count coins until he masters these skills.

 

[wrldpossibility]

Poor guy! 1st grade homework shouldn't cause so much stress! I have a 2nd grader and a Kindergartener, so I've been there and will be again. Do you think it's the content of the homework that is difficult for him (understanding the work) or is it just overwhelming to him to have homework at all? If it's the latter, it helped my DS to have a list of what homework is what day--Monday is math, Tues. is reading aloud and science, etc. Then he could see what he needed to do and do it step by step (with me there, of course).

Does he have too much homework? 1st graders should only have about 10 minutes a night, plus some reading. (10 minutes per grade is usually the standard, or at least should be, IMO.)

If he truly doesn't understand, I'm sure you hate that it turns into an argument and upset feelings at homework time. I'd follow up on the school's meeting and get to the bottom of it. If he needs extra help in some areas, 1st grade is a great time to do it. If it's not done, he could fall behind later when it's harder to catch up. And check for any learning disabilities. I don't know much about that, but I'm sure other DISers do. Good luck!!

 

[PA Princess]

I have a dd6 also in first grade. Not sure this is your issue, but something I have noticed with dd is that when she is stressed that she cannot do something she sorta shuts down and then doing anything is impossible. If she thinks she cannot count coins, the minute she sees the coins her stress level rises and there is just no helping her through because she shuts down.

I have found with her that 2 things really work - one just taking a break. Now that is hard when it is homework, but perhaps your teacher will work with you on this to some degree? Also, it really helps dd if we re-frame what we are doing...seeing coins causes stress, so we count by 10's with a big number chart where all the 10 numbers are neatly lined up in a row, and then count by 5's etc. Once she was confidant that she knew how to count by 10's and 5's, those coins no linger stressed her and she could count them.

Hope you can find what works best for your ds!

 

[MSSANDRA]

First talk to the teacher and find out if the issue is with the work in general or homework. First grade boys hate homework. They are tired of being in school and just want to go home and play. You, however have to set the stage for many year to come. If the problem is not being able to understand the concept them ask the teacher for ideas to help make it easier. I agree that money concepts are HARD. Try using real money..easier to distinguish coins.

My guess is that he does not want to do the work. Try some of these homework ideas...
-set him up a special place to work. No TV, distractions etc.
-make home work time early... Home--quick snack then on the home work.
- make sure he has what he needs near by....pencils paper etc.
-Give the work back to him...Be near by . but tell him it is his work.
-Break every 10 minutes or so for a bathroom or quick water break
-praise -praise -praise-- "I knew you would get it right" you are working hard " etc.

Commuinication between you and the teacher is the most important part. TAlk to her often to know exactly where you are.


MsSandra

 

[Luv Bunnies]

When you meet with the teacher, ask if there are any evaluations that would be appropriate for him. Just because he's having some trouble doesn't mean he has a learning disability or some other problem, but it's worth looking into just to cover all of your bases. Also, ask if your school has a resource teacher. These teachers work one-on-one with kids who are having difficulties. They set goals for the kids based on their needs and then work toward meeting them. Good luck and I hope you find some answers!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I know this is going to sound a bit silly but my cousin went through the same thing- is it possible he is an oral learner as opposed to a visual learner? Sometimes the way kids understand is different than others. It is not a disability, more of a way to put a puzzle together- you know what I mean? He may need to learn in a way that makes sense to him. I could never do math the way it was taught- meaning my equations did not make sense to the teacher but most of the time I came up with the right answer. I had a hard time in schoool because of that. I would talk to the teacher and see if he has problems in school with the math - OR- if he just doesn't want to do it. That could be a possiblity too. I wish you the best of luck. I know how frustrating it can be. Keep us posted!

 

[Silverbelle990]

For eveyone that posted thank you soo much. I kept thinking maybe it was me and not having paitence but i see that maybe it is not. My son is very smart, the only trouble he has is with his homework. He gets frustrated very easily for example we are teaching him to tie his shoes and he tries once and thats it he rolls his eyes....which i hate..and says no. NO that is not really that big a problem for me i know he is young and it is hard to teach a lefty when you are right. But back to the school problems. I recieved a call from his teacher that he was misbehaving not doing his work in class and sticking crayons in his ears. I wrote the teacher a note today on trying a new thing to help keep him in line. She is to take a 3x5 card with 5 stars and tape it to his desk. If he misbehaves or doesn't do the work then she will cross off a star. If he comes home with the card and still ahs stars i will give him one poker chip. If he gets 10 chips then he will get a prize. If there are no stars on his sheet then he gets tv taken away or something like that. I hope she will do this and we can see what the problems really are. But thank you again for all your help and if you have anymore please plaes please let me kow!!!

 

[noodleknitter]

Just one suggestion. You might want to come up with a mini-reward for every 2 days, or for 4/5 stickers, etc., if his behavior has been that bad. Being perfect is not exactly easy for a 6 year old. Giving up is.

Good luck with your little guy!

 

[sgmom]

1st grade is tough. My son has always been the quiet shy type, but I've received at least 4 calls this month about his behavior. From not crossing his legs when told to in music, not listening to the art teacher and standing up behind her back (she's our neighbor - a different issue), not telling his teacher the truth when he did something wrong, and finally, sticking his tongue out at the librarian behind her back. I told his teacher that I wanted to know when he got in trouble, since this is something new for us and figured he would fear me knowing. We've made him write sorry notes to the teachers and taken away computer games, tv, etc. at home. Homework time has not been easy for us either. I watch other kids and he wants to run outside and play with them even though he has homework and it's better for him to do it after school.

We just told him that we are going to Disney in a couple of weeks and gave him the incentive that if he is good every day in school he gets one reward and if he does his homework right after school without fighting, he gets another reward. We are planning to give him a Disney Dollar for every good reward to buy whatever he wants at Disney.

Homework: they do get frustrated. I see my son smack his hands down and grab his head and says I don't know it, or what is it? He really knows it, if he takes the time to look at it, but there are distractions.

I agree with the counting. We have a large number chart to 100 that highlights the 5"s and 10's. Maybe if you let him sit down and play with the money in a fun way instead of trying to learn the numerical part. Like trying to group them by size or color, etc., count the number in each pile or see which pile is larger, then take the next step of, this is 1 cent, 5 cents, and then count by 1's, 5's, etc. Maybe taking a different approach and making it a game so he doesn't realize he is learning. My son hasn't started counting money yet, but his teacher has them play alot of math games which he seems to love.

Hope this helps! Hang in there

 

[noodleknitter]

Hi!!!

I'm a 1st grade teacher....I'm wondering if he's having a hard time just with counting coins, or in many areas in school? Please keep in mind, (and I tell this to each parent at parent-teacher conferences every November) that IMO, counting coins in the HARDEST thing in Math that 1st graders will do all year. Everything else is "cake" compared to this skill.

** Can he count by 5s & 10s to 100? He can't learn to count coins until he masters these skills.

Just out of curiosity, is there some reason this skill is so tough? I knew kids that could name the coins, and could skip count, but they just couldn't make the connection. (This was when I was working residential treatment.) A couple of my sons who are engineers at heart didn't get it until 2nd grade. Sorry to go OT!

 

[Silverbelle990]

I have tried playing a grocery game with my son by buying play foods and a cat and giving him money to pays for it. He gets that part. I have heard him count to 100 by 5's and 10's but putting together the counting of nicles and dimes he just doesn't understand. I wonderif they should learn how to add or subtract befoe they start counting money. When my son came home today he said that he gave the teacher my note about the 3x5 cards and she didn't do anything. I wonder if it is him or the teacher. No offense to any other teacher but is it him or her and how do i find out one way or the other? When i go to this meeting and we discuss my son how do i know for sure whether it is him or her?? Please don't feel i am oicking on the teacher cause i know my son is having trouble but what is she doing in the classroom to help him? Maybe i am grasping at starws but i wonder????

 

[LuvOrlando]

When DD7 was having trouble with money I started bringing her out to buy things. I would give her a bag of change at the Dollar store and promise her a toy if she could pay for it on her own(before we got on line) ...guess what happened. At first she needed some help but suddenly it wasn't impossible to do. I kept driving the point home all summer at the pool. Both kids had to pick out the money for an icecream to get it. DS is 1 year older and we are still working on knowing how much change he should get back. I always let them pay for small things like snacks, a Happy Meal at McD's or an extra soda. I also let them pay at restaurants like Perkins or a Pizza place where there is a clear register and I can watch them from a few feet away. Little by little it works it just takes a whole lot of time & effort.

About adding, yes I'm 100% in agreement with you. A child can't possibly 'get' how to count to 100 if he/she doesn't know what adding is and it isn't fair of the teacher to expect it if it hasn't been taught. I can't imagine a single teacher disagreeing with this. Kids miss this stuff for lots of reasons from teaching style to sitting next to a disruptive child to having ADD or ADHD themselves. Last year DS was having handwriting 7 spelliing issues and I couldn't figure out why until I had a visit in the classroom. The way his desk was positioned meant that he had to turn his head to see the board. Obviously most of his writing was done from memory so his spelling & handwriting were a mess until I had his seat switched.

I taught my kids to add with cookies & chips. You'd be suprised how good kids are at counting & division if they are sharing a handfull of sweets with someone else. Even the least interested kid cares when it looks like someone is getting more M&M's than him or her.

Good luck and don't feel bad pressing for answers. Remember parents are their children's advocates and you should never feel bad about that.

 

[ferris198]

I also have a son in grade 1, and homework is an issue.
In our school though, the counting of coins comes under the heading of patterns, children learn about different patterns, and have to complete them, then they move onto coins.

 

[daisyduck123]

Just out of curiosity, is there some reason this skill is so tough? I knew kids that could name the coins, and could skip count, but they just couldn't make the connection. (This was when I was working residential treatment.) A couple of my sons who are engineers at heart didn't get it until 2nd grade. Sorry to go OT!

It is usually very tough because in most curriculums it is supposed to be taught just at one specific time of the school year. In my county's pacing guide, we have 2-3 weeks to teach all of the counting money skills & then they are given a huge assessment on it.

Well, that's not enough time to instruct & have them actually understand it. So in my class, I take it very slowly. According to our pacing guide, we teach money in late March for 2-3 weeks. Well I introduce pennies in September & we just count them for about 2 weeks. Then I introduce nickels & that's all we count for 2 or 3 weeks. Then we spend a few weeks just counting those coins together. Then I introduce dimes & that's all we count for a few weeks. After that, I introduce dimes with pennies, then dimes with nickels, & finally....we count all 3 together. That's all we're doing now. After Christmas, I'll introduce the quarter.

We don't spend a lot of time on it each week because it's not our regular material to cover right now...we just do enought to review & keep it fresh in their minds - do it for morning work on occasion), but...boy is my class good at it!!!

The kids have to be totally comfortable with one set of coins before moving on to the next. Counting dimes (by tens) & then nickels (by fives) in the same problem can really get them if they are not totally comfortable & confident with it.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I have tried playing a grocery game with my son by buying play foods and a cat and giving him money to pays for it. He gets that part. I have heard him count to 100 by 5's and 10's but putting together the counting of nicles and dimes he just doesn't understand. I wonderif they should learn how to add or subtract befoe they start counting money. When my son came home today he said that he gave the teacher my note about the 3x5 cards and she didn't do anything. I wonder if it is him or the teacher. No offense to any other teacher but is it him or her and how do i find out one way or the other? When i go to this meeting and we discuss my son how do i know for sure whether it is him or her?? Please don't feel i am oicking on the teacher cause i know my son is having trouble but what is she doing in the classroom to help him? Maybe i am grasping at starws but i wonder????

Is it possible that she didn't agree with the system with the card that you sent in? I have to be honest and tell you that when I first read your post about the index card it sounded like a punishment and it made me feel bad for him. The other kids will surely see it and well, you know how kids can be sometimes. Maybe the teacher didn't want to single him out. Or- maybe the teacher doesn't engage him enough so he acts out. I wish I had an answer for you. I personally would schedule a meeting with the teacher to discuss a plan to help your son. If your both on the same page maybe it would help him. I hope it all works out.

 

[Silverbelle990]

I know that the card thing doesn't sound to good but he is only 6 years old and for a few days yeah i think the other kids will wonder about but eventually they will move on. My school system wants the kids to be brillent, in kindergarten i had to have a meeting about DS on his handwriting. It wasn't neat enough. Personally in kindergarten i didn't realize you had to write perfect. I think that they are moving fast and expecting alot from a 6 year old child. And it doesn't help when the teacher praises one child who's mother is a teacher and can write perfectly. When we went to openhouse all they did was say well so and so has no problem and oh heknows all this. I wanted to say well not every child has a mother for a teacher and if your child is so smart move him up. Why do parents have to compete about using thier kids??? She really made me angry!!!

 

[LaraK]

I'm sorry things have been tough...I wish I had a constructive suggestion, but I'm there yet with my kids. I just wanted to send you some support.

I will say that I agree that the kids are getting pushed harder and harder....DD is not quite four and a half and I was called in for a "talk" because she was not sitting still and not talking to anyone for the hour they demand that the kids stay on task in her pre-kindergarten class.

Kids learn at their own paces...I think the "using money to buy yourself something" idea sounds great...a little motivation can go a long way.

 

[camdensmom]

I'm sorry you are going through this. It is so hard to see your child hurting in any way and it is frustrating when you are at a loss as to how to help.

In regards to the teacher...go easy on her. At this point it doesn't sound like she has given you just cause to blame her for anything. Teachers typically work hard to establish a behavior management plan for the classroom. The key to its success is consistency, clear expectations and regular outcomes. It is not something that can simply be altered with one note. I would think it would need to be discussed with her personally and you should work together to come up with a plan that works for both of you as well as the child.

Basically what you are asking her to do is to put your child on an individualized plan. In my district there are steps that must be taken prior to doing something like this. In her defense, she may have needed to discuss the situation with her principal, the sped staff or guidance. While it is common for children to be placed on individualized behavior plans, it normally comes as a result of conferences, meetings, and possibly observations of the child by someone from outside the classroom. It is not fair to send in the note and expect it to be put in to place that day. Also, I'm sure you were disappointed to not get any feedback from her today, but 1st grade classrooms are hectic and she may not have had the time she needed to properly address your concerns.

It's great that you want to help your son and that you are willing to support him at home. It would be best though for you to talk to the teacher directly and let her know this. Share your concerns and make her aware that you are willing to help in any way. Collaborate with her to determine the best way to address this.

Kwwp in mind though, if she does have a behavior management plan and kids are rewarded and face consequences for their actions in the classroom it might not be in your son's best interest to them face additional consequences at home. It's double jeopardy. I would let her handle the school behaviors and you yourself should come up with a behavior plan for the issues you face at home. Target goals for him that are attainable. (work for 20 minutes without resistance, try your best, not talking back, etc) and be consistent with how you handle them.

When is his birthday? This is the 1st thing that is asked when a child (esp. a male) has school problems (behaviorally or academically) in K and 1. Little boys who have birthdays near the cutoff tend to struggle. This is magnified around this time of year in 1st grade as they see their peers making rapid progress in math and language arts. The feel 'dumb' and become resistent and argumentive. The good news is that by the end of 2nd they tend to catch up, but it can be a tough 2 years.

As far as the money goes it is a VERY hard concept. I'm teaching 3rd grade this year and some of my kids struggle.

Tips for teaching money:

start with the basics - can he identify each coin? Use a magnifying glass and take some time to really study them with him. Discuss the ways they are alike and different. Make sure he can name them when looking at the fronts and the backs.

-always use real money - the plastic money is not true to life. The worst is the black and white worksheets. Avoid these and stick with the real deal

-after he has mastered the names make sure he knows the individual values
The following song (to the tune of Freres Jacques) is very helpful for kids:

Penny one cent
Penny one cent
Nickel five
Nickel five
Dime is worth ten cents
Dine is worth ten cents
Quarter twenty five
Quarter twenty five

-also practice skip counting with him. You can do this in the car and at random times during the day. He needs to count to 100 by 5s and by 10s. Also, you could do a conga line (drag DH into it) around the house: 25, 50, 75 a dollar, 25, 50, 75 a dollar

If he doesn't have these basics down it is a moot point trying to get him to count a collection of mixed coins.

The internet is a great source of info. Do a google search for "teaching children to count coins" or "teaching money" or "teaching money concepts."

Brace yourself...after money comes telling time and that's no picnic either.

Take care and hug your little guy. It sounds like he is having a rough go of it. Make learning fun for him

 

[sgmom]

Camdensmom:

Thanks so much for the counting money tips. I just printed them to put aside for when my DS - 1st grader starts counting with money later this year. I even sang the song to my DH and told him to get ready for a congo line Great tip!

My DS gets a kick out of playing games but doesn't realize he's learning. BTW, our school system must be on a different program because telling time was already introduced in their class. I asked tonight, but my DS said they haven't started counting yet with money.

Silverbelle:

Good luck and be patient with your DS. I've found myself getting frustrated helping DS with homework to the point of having my own timeout to calm down! But I've learned to give praises often because I don't think this teacher, although wonderful, has time to slow down and praise each student.

Another tip:

I was visiting the classroom one day and saw the teacher walking around randomly asking for high 5's, but increased the value by 5 to each child she went to. I thought that was very interesting.


Any tips on teaching tying shoes, or will my DS be wearing slip ons forever?