OT-Teacher Gifts...

[tnkr_bell]

So I got an email from the room mom for my ds Kindergarten class about the valentines party. Then at the end she comments that we need to talk about a Wedding Present and a Birthday Present for the teacher. I don't mind the Wedding present because it's a one time thing (well hopefully), but I've never heard of getting the teacher a birthday present. Plus after all that I assume we're going to have to get an end of the year present too, how about a welcome summer present. Good Grief!!!

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

My sister is a teacher and as far as i know she gets thank you gifts at the end of year and the odd christmas gift, I've only ever done end of year gift & then given cash to wedding/new baby/retirement collections.

I'll be taking dd4 & ds5's teachers (same class) & ta's gifts back from disney because they've really gone the extra mile to help ds5 with his issues, i won't bother with dd10s teacher though

 

[Elmo888]

DD is in the second grade, and, since kindergarten, the class gives the teacher a birthday gift out of the "class fund". Each student is "asked" to pay $25 to the class fund, which cover mostly things like class parties, but also the teacher's birthday gift.

I give gift cards at Christmas and at the end of the year. It just happens to be good timing. And I would probably give her teacher a wedding/baby gift if her teacher were married/had a baby during the school year. For these types of things, I do on my own (and I always do gift cards since most teachers don't need more trinkets, teachers don't make enough money, and I don't know the teachers very well to pick a gift for them!).

Although I do think people go overboard sometimes, I don't think that a birthday gift is out of line. Young kids really enjoy birthdays at that age, and they seem to find it fun to celebrate their teacher's birthday. And kids are just happy to give her flowers and cupcakes (that can be shared with the class, of course!). So, it doesn't need to be anything big.

 

[tzolkin]

i've never heard of such a thing. we do christmas presents here, but that's about it. (i live in a relatively poor rural area). i think our culture is over-saturated in constantly buying people gifts that they dont need. it would be absolutely ridiculous for everyone to send in a small gift for each of these occasions, so i'm assuming that they plan to collect money. i think this would impose on those that may not have the money-- even if it is only a few dollars here and there. (but, about 75% of the kids at our elem school receive free breakfast at lunch so we would never think of asking for money.)

on a side note... my DD gave her teacher a donation to be used at markmakers.org for christmas this year. it's a great child-friendly website that her teacher enjoyed using with her own daughter. it would also be a fun class project that they may do in the future.

 

[rt2dz]

Around here, most classes do something for the teacher’s birthday. It is usually very small. The room parent usually sends a note asking to have the kids make--not buy--a card and send in a flower. The room parent will usually provide a vase from the dollar store and will send in cookies or cupcakes. Sometimes instead of flower, we're asked to send in a candy bar--the kind you get for 33 cents at the grocery store. The kids love it. Like a pp said, birthdays are a big deal at that age (elementary & preschool). It's a nice gesture and usually costs under or just $1.

 

[gower525]

The birthday question is interesting b/c I just had this conversation with my sister and sister in law a few weeks ago. I am a teacher and have never received a birthday gift. It wouldn't even occur to me. My sister is a room mom and former teacher. Her child's school does give the teachers a b-day gift. I think it depends on the school and the neighborhood. My school is a very poor title I school. We don't even get Christmas gifts. My sister's school, however, is the complete opposite. So I guess the answer is, it just depends on the norm for your school.

 

[lntsmom]

I've taught for 24 years...in four districts in two different states. I don't know a single teacher my age who asked for or was given personal gifts.

That has changed with the younger teachers. The district I previously taught in finally stopped PTO moms from collecting money for birthday gifts because of the disparity. In other words, elementary classroom parents were being hit up for money for the gifts and those teachers were receiving large monetary amounts but the non-classroom teachers and teachers in middle and high school weren't being recognized at all.

I thought that was the end of it...but in the last two years the teachers began sending out baby shower invitations to the kids for showers during the school day. The first one was hosted by a PTO mom and only the children in her class were invited.

Last year another teacher sent out invitations and they went to the entire grade level: 100 families!!!! I was highly offended. My child wasn't in that class so he didn't even know the woman.

I gave him $10 and took him to the dollar store. He chose rattles, bibs, a babysitter notepad, and a package of cups and bowls. I added two frames and framed two pages from a children's book published in the 1950's. It was all wrapped nicely and sent with a card.

We never got a thank-you.

We've since moved cross country, so I don't know that we'll ever come up against the situation again. If we do I will call the principal and voice my concern. Teachers are in a position of power. Some are good people. Some aren't. To allow this kind of call for gifts risks the ones who aren't holding it against the children who don't bring a present. That isn't right.

Sigh. Ya know, when I had my second son my class didn't know I was pregnant until the day he was born...the day I went on maternity leave. I just don't understand teachers who feel the need to share every detail of their personal lives with their students!

 

[K and K's Mommy]

I taught for 8 years and never got a birthday present. My birthday was usually the first week of school, and I never even told the kids! What about teachers who have summer birthdays? The parents did give a very nice baby shower when I was pregnant with my first, but it was just the parents in my class and my students. I had nothing to do with it and can't imagine having other students I didn't know very well there!

I now have one in third and one in K and have never heard of getting birthday presents for any of their teachers.

 

[cruizie]

This is my 1st year with a child in elementary school. I don't think at our school it is the norm for the class to give the teacher a birthday present. However, I could be totally wrong. I am the homeroom parent and for Christmas, I did send out a letter (approved by the principal) to all the parents in my dd's class - stating IF you want to participate in a joint gift, your participation is welcome and appreciated. I had about half the parents participate. I bought a gift card & a holiday card and signed it from all of the students. I would say that most of the students are from middle class families. We were able to get the teacher a pretty decent sized gift card.

However, I would not expect the parents to send in money for a birthday present or baby or bridal shower. I do hope to be able to get the teacher an end-of-year class gift but I don't know if we will. Her birthday is on the last day of school. The only reason I know is because my dd is really into birthdays & asked her teacher & then told me.

For Valentine's Day, I am going to buy 2 dozen flowers (20 kids in the class) and have each child give the teacher a flower. I bought a nice vase at Steinmart for $15. And I will probably do something for Teacher Appreciation Week from the class.

I agree with a pp who thought it was rude to invite the whole grade level to a baby shower. Quite ridiculous!! I would imagine those parents who feel close to the teacher would choose to purchase or make a gift for the baby and those that aren't close or don't even know the teacher would not - just like in any other situation. Just b/c the woman 3 blocks over is having a baby, doesn't mean that you should buy a gift for her.

 

[hildarumpole]

I'm a room parent at my kids' school. We get a check from the school at the beginning of the year to cover parties and teacher gifts. It's $5.00/student, so that made a grand total of $75.00 for my son's kindergaren class. We have to get the teacher class gifts for Christmas, her birthday, and Teacher Appreciation Day in April. The money all goes toward the gifts and the room moms provide all the party supplies, food, and craft stuff out of their own pockets. In addition, each child gives a Christmas gift to their teachers. I had to buy 5 gifts this year and only received 2 thank you notes. I do appreciate the work the teachers do for my kids, but I agree the gift craze has gotten out of hand. It's also become a competition among some parents as to who gives the best gift, which really sets a poor example for the kids. My son's 4th grade teacher received a 14K gold and ruby necklace for Christmas from one girl who made sure everyone knew how much it cost.

 

[daisyduck123]

1st grade teacher chiming in....

I have received b-day gifts from a few classes....one year, it was a full surprise party!! I really was surprised.

It's always very thoughtful and appreciated, but never expected.

If my DS9's room mom sent me an e-mail about a b-day gift for the teacher, I wouldn't think twice...I'd just send in a donation. She deserves it!

I think it could just be acknowledged with a box of candy, card, & maybe a balloon. That would be plenty.

 

[Mkrop]

At DS10's school it is taken out of the classroom fee that is collected at the beg of the year. I think they buy some flowers and a cake, no gift.

Birthdays are a big deal at his school on your bday whether you are a student or a teacher or the custodian, you go up on stage at morning assembly and everyone gives you a birthday "blessing" (Catholic school) and the summer bdays are handled in May on the day of your birth so if your bday is July 5 you go up on May 5 and weeknd bdays are done on Fridays, even if you are a teacher.

 

[tnkr_bell]

I would just like to add that I have no problem with a Christmas gift and an end of the school year gift. Both my Dad and Sister are teachers so I know how hard they work outside of the classroom for their students.

I guess I just feel like between those then a b-day present and Wedding present and then someone metioned Teacher appreciation day it just seems to be getting to be a little much.

 

[Mkrop]

I would just like to add that I have no problem with a Christmas gift and an end of the school year gift. Both my Dad and Sister are teachers so I know how hard they work outside of the classroom for their students.

I guess I just feel like between those then a b-day present and Wedding present and then someone metioned Teacher appreciation day it just seems to be getting to be a little much.

I guess to me there are ways to do this without it beinga full blown gift or gift card. Like just flowers for the bday or homemade cards from the kids.

 

[momz]

i have given the occassional gift, but only because my daughter's friend was over a bragging about what she got for the teacher. my daughter wanted to do what we got. so i quick grabbed a candle that had been given to me previously and re-gifted it to the teacher. so the gift was really so my daughter would feel good about having something to give. i'm certain that the teacher will do what i did with it. that is, put is up somewhere to re-gift again. but i really think it is absurd that we should be expected to give give give so often. i mean, really, i don't get presents for randomly created occassions, why should the teachers? but it's expected. i don't like it. off my soap box now.

 

[disykat]

The only way my class ever knows it's my birthday is if I'm at a school where they announce birthdays during the morning announcements. My current school doesn't do this.

 

[Maryr1]

I was the class mom when DD was in kindergarten. I also helped out in the class room once a week. I found out when the teachers birthday was and this is what I did-I mailed each of the parents and asked them to help their child decorate a single page picture, Happy Birthday theme and get it to me (drop it off, send it to the assistant teacher in the room or mail it if necessary). I turned it into a book for the teacher-it was SO cute. I brought in a cake and plates and juice for snack (the assistant teacher was in on it so she helped) and then I got a bunch of carnations and a vase (on sale somewhere). When the kids came in from recess the assistant lined them up and I gave them each a flower and sent them in 1 by one. They hugged the teacher, gave her the flower and when they were all in I brought in the vase and cake and we read her (or showed her) the book. She was thrilled, the kids were thrilled and all in all I think it cost me $30 including the cake. You could save $ by making the cake. The flowers were just carnations....it was worth every penny. All the parents did get the art work to me but the assistant teacher and I figured if someond did not get it done at home, she would do it quietly when the teacher wasn't looking. Hope this helps!

 

[tnkr_bell]

I was the class mom when DD was in kindergarten. I also helped out in the class room once a week. I found out when the teachers birthday was and this is what I did-I mailed each of the parents and asked them to help their child decorate a single page picture, Happy Birthday theme and get it to me (drop it off, send it to the assistant teacher in the room or mail it if necessary). I turned it into a book for the teacher-it was SO cute. I brought in a cake and plates and juice for snack (the assistant teacher was in on it so she helped) and then I got a bunch of carnations and a vase (on sale somewhere). When the kids came in from recess the assistant lined them up and I gave them each a flower and sent them in 1 by one. They hugged the teacher, gave her the flower and when they were all in I brought in the vase and cake and we read her (or showed her) the book. She was thrilled, the kids were thrilled and all in all I think it cost me $30 including the cake. You could save $ by making the cake. The flowers were just carnations....it was worth every penny. All the parents did get the art work to me but the assistant teacher and I figured if someond did not get it done at home, she would do it quietly when the teacher wasn't looking. Hope this helps!

That is a very cute idea and I'm sure the teacher loved it. I'm probably over reacting a bit, since I'm not sure yet what they are planning. Heck I'm not sure they know yet. I was just surprised by the birthday gift, I'd never heard of it being done before.

 

[lclark0621]

I have no problem giving DS's teachers gifts for birthdays (or Christmas or end of year). And we occasionally throw in a gift for other holidays & DS loves to make cards fort the teachers. Example for Halloween, I went & got Halloween theme mugs & a small bag of candy. DS brought it in & was thrilled.

I dont feel it is an obligation. I dont feel I am forced to.

But my DS truly loves his teachers (as do DH & I). And we are so greatful for everything they do during the year. I know it is their job and they get a paycheck for it. But I still like to show the teachers a little extra love & kindness during the year.

One of his teachers recently had a birthday. The other room teacher sent a note, saying you could contribute to the class gift if you wanted, and if you wanted to get the teacher something yourself, she gave a list of suggestions. Since I dont know this teacher outside of school, I was greatful for the list of suggestions, since it gave me an idea of what she liked & where to start looking.

The kids loved the party & had a blast.

The teachers have always been very greatful for the gifts and extra thoughts we have sent into them.

Teachers do so much during the year for their class. I dont think there is anything wrong with sending gifts.

If you dont want to, dont send anything. If you do, send something. No one is forcing you to send a gift.

I remember growing up, I always brought gifts to teachers & front office staff for Christmas & end of the year. I dont think it is anything new to buy a Christmas gift for someone you or your child cares a lot about.