OT: Slumber Party for 11 yr. old girls

[esbrick]

OK so this is the first slumber party i am throwing. It is for my step daughter, 11 yrs, and 4 or 5 friends next Saturday night. Reason, none really just that it is freezing here and I thought it might be fun to have a girls night and a way to meet the parents. When I call the parents I am going to ask them if they would like to come in as well for a Hot Chocolate break when they drop there daughter off!

So my idea thus far is to have a hot chocolate bar when the girls and moms come in. One side for kids (marshmellow fluff, crushed toffee bar; cinnemon & sugar mix; that whipped cream outta a can stuff) and one side for adults (bailys, ameretto, added and wine, beer and soda) A kind of pick your poison hot choc bar? And some cookies for the girls. Veggie plate and cheese and crackers for adults?

DD wants me to get some kind of goose pimples ghost movies series and scarey movie 2 for them to watch and I was also going to have them make sugar cookies. More like the batter is done and they make the designs or put stuff on them and then leave them to watch movies with popcorn and chips.

Morning is pancakes made by my hubby who makes the worlds best pancakes and then get ready for parents to pick up?

OK so is this how it goes and does it sound OK? Part of my idea is that I would like to meet her friends parents so we can become more involved with school stuff. I figured that this would be a good step?

I really appreciate your help DIS Moms/Dads cause I really want to make a good impression for DD.

Thanks!!

 

[ilandrazdsw]

Oooo, I like the hot chocolate bar...what's your address, time, & date?

Sounds very fun!

If you may want to let the parents know about the "bar" so they don't just drop the girls and go. Also, (I don't want to be the killjoy) do you know that these girls families are OK with liquor? Some parents have issues with their children being in houses where liquor is not locked up. I know you will be there, as will the other parents to supervise. Just where I live parents get anal about not drinking--ever.

 

[esbrick]

Hmmm I'm likin where your at! I'm sure it's much warmer then IL with 21 degrees and 8 inches of snow!

I will tell the parents when i call them about coming in for hot chocolate. i will offer them something to drink by keep my own participation to a minimum as I have a LONG night ahead of me!

 

[LittleMissMagic]

The hot chocolate bar is a cute idea. However, if you aren't sure that their parents are okay with drinking, you might want to make the adults a coffee bar, instead.

As for Scary Movie 2.... isn't that rated PG-13? You might want to make sure it's okay with the girls' parents first. Some girls might get frightened (though, Scary Movies are more silly than scary...).

You might want to have a few games or crafts set aside in case the girls get rowdy or bored.

We used to decorate pillowcases at our sleepover parties.... a very fun, inexpensive craft (purchase white pillowcases at discount stores and fabric markers at Michaels, and for the less-artistic girls, get some stencils that they can use to spark ideas).

Hope your daughter and her friends have lots of fun!

 

[esbrick]

Hmm thinking i may scale back the offerings on the "parent's" bar. I will offer the option of Baily's but it won't be out there. I'll keep the rest of the yummies though!

Love the idea of the pillow cases! Will definately plan on that when they get here! Thanks so much!

 

[ilandrazdsw]

Hmmm I'm likin where your at! I'm sure it's much warmer then IL with 21 degrees and 8 inches of snow!

It is warm...too warm! We are actually moving to NW IN this spring/summer...WooHoo!!!

I like the idea of the pillow cases...something everyone can do. Think about Karoke...do you have a machine or someone you know? That could just be hillarious. Also, get some inexpensive make-up, lotion, polish and let them do a spa time.

 

[esbrick]

NW IN Good luck and glad you are waiting till Spring! The weather is WAY cold and the shock would be crazy to your system!

Hmm they do like the makeup thing, at least mine does! I'll see what I can scavenger at walgreens for that too. I'm so glad I posted here! Such great ideas. My husband is laughing and (im)patiently waiting on responses with me. This is great!

 

[ilandrazdsw]

NW IN Good luck and glad you are waiting till Spring! The weather is WAY cold and the shock would be crazy to your system!

OT: I went to HS up there and DH (who is Bahamain) has been up in cold/snow...he takes it better than I do . We would move now except for work commitments and not wanting to a a U-Haul through snowy/icy mountains.

 

[powellrj]

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but that would be the very last thing I would want to do on a Friday night. We have other children and Fridays can be a nightmare in transportation just getting everyone where they need to be. There are ball games and dances and movies that seem to keep us on the road most of friday night. Plus after working all week, I am usually too tired to do anything other than hi and bye.

I am also an older mom and while it nice to get to know the other parents, I think including them in a pre party for the slumber party is a little over the top. I know most of the parents of DDs friends and they are all at least 15 years younger than I am and I always feel very out of place when we are together and this is just at school events where there is a common ground.

Add the alcohol to the mix and DD would have to miss this party.

 

[sk!mom]

Yumm- My DD's12, can we come? I want to visit your hot choc. bar.

Everything sounds great but you really need to let parents know that they are invited to stay and visit for a while at the start of the party. It's a good idea but not typical so most would expect to just drop off and may have other plans if they don't know ahead of time. DD is our only child, now, so we often make plans when she goes to a sleepover.

 

[esbrick]

I definatley plan to invite the parents to come in when i call them. I just edited my post to reflect that it was my initial plan. We are also going to to the sleepover on Saturday night because my husband and i work full time during the week and honestly I will need Friday night and Saturday day to prepare. I realize that parents will probably be planning to do something else that day which is why I plan to have the girls dropped off at around 4 PM in the afternoon.

I am new to this so i thank you all for the info! I think it will be fun.

I made a resolution to myself this year that when things seemed that it was going to be a downer (ie the freezing weather!) I was going to make it a good thing! Baking and slumber parties with hot coco and movies! Yahoo!

PS Always ready to make new friends! PM me later if you are in or near IL!

 

[esbrick]

NW IN Good luck and glad you are waiting till Spring! The weather is WAY cold and the shock would be crazy to your system!

OT: I went to HS up there and DH (who is Bahamain) has been up in cold/snow...he takes it better than I do . We would move now except for work commitments and not wanting to a a U-Haul through snowy/icy mountains.

Oh my goodness! All the best on your amazing journey! How exciting! I love big changes like that they are so exciting. The anticipation is almost as good as the reality!

 

[IllumFan]

I think it's a great idea, primarily because it appears as if you don't know the other parents very well yet. As an overprotective parent, I would appreciate the chance to meet your family, see the environment my daughter would be in, etc. without "embarrassing" her by calling and having to ask a whole lot of questions. This would be a great way for me to get to know you and the other parents in a fun, relaxed and welcoming environment while feeling more comfortable with the sleepover.

 

[mjkacmom]

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but that would be the very last thing I would want to do on a Friday night. We have other children and Fridays can be a nightmare in transportation just getting everyone where they need to be. There are ball games and dances and movies that seem to keep us on the road most of friday night. Plus after working all week, I am usually too tired to do anything other than hi and bye.

I am also an older mom and while it nice to get to know the other parents, I think including them in a pre party for the slumber party is a little over the top. I know most of the parents of DDs friends and they are all at least 15 years younger than I am and I always feel very out of place when we are together and this is just at school events where there is a common ground.

Add the alcohol to the mix and DD would have to miss this party.

I'm on a similar page. I'm very happy to meet the parents of my children's friends, but I already have a nice social circle. When dd12 and ds10 have friends sleep over, they invite them - I don't call the parents. I'd be very happy to have a light conversation for a few minutes, but that's it.

As for the alcohol, I drink, and would definitely offer a friend a glass of wine if she stopped by, and my friends will always offer me a glass of wine if I'm over (unless it's the afternoon, of course, and then a cup of coffee), but I wouldn't offer it up to a parent I didn't know, not knowing their feelings.

Are you new to the area? Maybe you can volunteer at certain events, and meet the parents in a more "natural" setting. Most of my good friends are parents of my children's friends, that I met at their activities. Dd12 would loathe having me there at her friend's slumber party, and I'm sure some of the parents would also have other plans.

 

[Lady V]

first of all---what a fun night! Very cool indeed!! But...I think nixing the alchohol would be good..even though you know you won't be getting sloshed later on the parents don't know that! also-Saturday night might be a bad idea for some because of church in the morning.

 

[StitchFanZ]

If you don't know any of the parents, you may want to start with a pajama party where they come mid to late afternoon with PJs, sleeping bags, hang out, play games, get in PJs and sleeping bags to watch a movie and then they all go home around 10 or 11 PM.
It will give you a chance to get to know the girls. Some girls can be very rowdy all night and you will be utterly exhausted if you end up with one of them there. It will also give the parents a chance to get to know you without having to leave their daughters there all night. I'm always leary about leaving my daughter with someone I dont' know.

I would also want to know if there are older siblings and if they will be there. Are there any older brothers or older brother's friends that might be around? One of my friends whose daughter as an older brother in High School always arranges for him to go over to a friends house if there is a girls sleepover in progress. She always volunteers the info and I appreciate it. It just makes for a safer and no chance of anything going wrong or or anyone getting accused of anything environment.

My DD made bouncy balls at their last event. It was a blast. You can get kits at craft stores like Michaels for all sorts of fun activities.
Have fun!

 

[Tammysue5]

Lots of great ideas here... it is never easy when it comes to deciding what is the right way! The hot chocolate bar is nice....

1 thing I found to be fun for the girls...they practiced Kareoke (sp) and had a dressup/makeup time... they all then 'performed' as I video taped them. DH then made up a DVD for each girl to take home. (We used a picture of all the girls at the party as the 'cover' ) the parents loved it!

We did something similar w/the boys when they were younger and they LOVE to drag all the old taped out of their sleep overs... they made short 'movies' and such and we are planning to 'show' clips of the 'movies' (taken over the years) at their grad party.

I can relate to the older parents thing w/the one poster.... we were the YOung parents w/the boys and are now older parents w/the girls. (although I am NOT old...... 40 is not old )

 

[esbrick]

Wow! Great info thanks very much!

As far as the alcohol idea goes I think i'm going to nix it! (Thanks for being honest! I was sketchy but again, nubie here!) The hot coco bar will be fun and then the parents will be more comfortable. I don't want anyone thinking I'm irresponsible. I'm thinking I will wait and maybe if I make a friend or 2 and there's a bbq later in the year that we can share a drink at.

As for Church we live down the street from a Church and plan on telling the parents that I plan/can/will bring the girls to 9 AM mass with me if they don't mind and then DH will be making pancakes for breakfast and they can pick up their children at around 11. If they want to come earlier or later that is their perogative, but my offer is 11.

OK so TMI stuff! Sorry!
My DD's mom is the one who brings her to school. My DH and the mom go to the teacher's meetings. DH and I were married last month (We've been together 4.5 years) There are stigmas sometimes put on a child when the parent/ SO are not married just living together so since DD was in a new school I chose to stay quiet. I went to events and DD introduced me as Daddy's Fiancee but not many, if any, knew our living situation. I know times have changed but not always and she comes first! So now that I'm legit I would like to get to know people so that I can hold a conversation when i meet them at school. You see, in my case, if you don't know what is going on at school your are perceived as you don't care. If you participate too much you are overstepping. Damned if you do and damnd if you don't but I am taking the risk because I love her and I chose to be a part of her life and she chose to let me and I really want to be there for her. I'm not going to step on anyone's toes but I don't want to be a silent partner anymore either. Ya never know, maybe I'll be good at this! I've got ALOT to learn but ya gotta believe right?

 

[mjkacmom]

I really think your heart is in the right place, and it's great you are hosting the sleepover, but mommy friendships take a long time to develop, especially with older children (most start in preschool playgroups, and elementary school). The same with the children, the moms have their own friends, and run in their own circles, with some overlap (will go out to dinner with one, but will hang in the bleachers with another - just not as close).

I've seen moms with young children try to get "in" with moms with older children, and can be seen as pushy. Moms with toddlers are very anxious to meet other moms -it's almost like dating. Moms with older kids aren't that eager to make new friends.

Take it slow - heck, some of your dd's friends might be total wack-a-do's. Volunteer as much as you can, get to know these women, one at a time. All you need is a couple of invites to home parties or as a bunco alternate, and you'll work your way in.

 

[esbrick]

Oh, I know that we won't become best buds over night or over a cup of hot coco. God do I sound that terribly nubie? I think I'm just really excited, however, I have not lost touch with reality. I was thinking the same thing when you wrote about the dating analogy, however, I was going with the it's like starting at a new school in the middle of the year when everyone has already been together forever. It's daunting, but I gotta start somewhere so I might as well jump in feet first and hope for the best. . .