OT- Should we get a dog?

[thompson princesses]

Please don't flame me for what I am about to say but I can't stand the thought of a cat using it's litter box and moving everything around in it with it's paws and then getting on my furniture or countertops. I'm not a cat hater but they are not as clean as you might think. I love both dogs and cats but have a friend who will only have cats because they are "cleaner". Whatever you choose your children will benefit from the love they give and receive and the responsibility you can teach them. Good luck!

 

[CinRell]

You admit you aren't a dog person. Please don't get a dog. Your OP defines a home not good for a new addition.. especially not a dog. you're both going back to school... no time to properly train, concerns about cost (what happens if something happens and you're stuck with a $5,000 vet bill? You have to be prepared for that.. and don't forget cost of flea, tick and heartworm prevention.. not cheap).. you are talking about leaving the dog alone with kids which .. not sure on your kids ages but I'd NEVER recommend leaving children alone with ANY animal. Especially a dog.. ESPECIALLY a new dog!

Situations like this usually end up with a family getting a cute puppy , deciding it's not right for them, then a pup out of the "cute puppy" stage has a hard time finding a new home.. if they ever do.

I always wanted a dog growing up... my parents never let me.. I turned out a-ok.


I just read your update. You're not being a bad mom you're being a RESPONSIBLE PARENT Good for you! It's nobody else's business they aren't the ones who will be up half the night with a crying puppy or rushing home every 5 hours to let the dog out.

Also if you're running an in-home daycare all the more reason NOT to get a dog. Unless you know al of the children you will ever watch are not allergic to or afraid of dogs, it wouldn't be a good idea. You also cannot GUARANTEE a dog will be great with ALL children.

 

[MEM]

I consider myself a realist and so I entered into dog ownership with my eyes wide open. To me, the work and expense is nothing compared to the rewards of having a dog - I believe that a dog makes a house a home. JMHO. In July 2006 I lost my beloved dachshund at the age of 17 to cancer. I grieved more for her (and longer) than I grieved for my father. Is that wrong? Weird? Not to me. She was my bestest buddy. Despite all the pain, when a co-worker told me two months later about her neighbor and two foster pups rescued from St. Croix, DH and I were ready to meet the two of them. By the time we got there, one sister was spoken for but the other girl could be ours provided we passed the background check. "Miss Trudy" has lived with us since September and is a true joy! She makes us laugh all the time and lightens our hearts on the gloomiest days.

I believe that folks who say they are "not dog-people" just haven't been chosen by the right dog, yet! My dogs have been much, much easier to raise than my kids.

 

[Jynohn]

If you are at all on the fence about getting a dog, then no, you shouldn't get one. They are a HUGE commitment, and even people who are devoted to dogs can get overwhelmed by the responsibility sometimes. Since you said you are not a dog person, I imagine that it will only be a matter of time before you begin to resent the dog and the extra work that goes along with it.

This is coming from someone who has two Great Danes and another puppy on the way next week. I LOVE dogs, and still there are days when I get annoyed with all the work they involve. I can't imagine adding a dog to the family if everyone wasn't 100% on board. Please don't get a puppy unless you're absolutely certain you can commit to it for 10+ years, long after your children may have lost interest.

Good luck in your decision!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I'd just like to dispel the myth that having a dog means your home will necessarily go to pot. I'm fastidious about my home too and I manage to keep it pretty nice and clean even with a large dog. To be honest, my kids make far more mess than my dog does, and they've done more damage as well.

I also would like to say that poop doesn't have to be either steaming when you pick it up or strewn about the yard. We have a fenced kennel where our dog does her business. When it's cool, we pick it up. No steam here.

Having a dog is not for everyone. It's wise to question whether it's right for you.

 

[rockyroad]

kellia,

I think you made a wise decision.

If your situation changes, then you can still get a dog, but getting one is a huge committment and getting rid of one would be heartbreaking for everyone. I like dogs, but I know that they can be a pain in the caboose.

You will probably have enough going on with school that taking on more stress would be less than ideal.

At one time we had seven dogs. We have a huge yard, but it was still a lot of dogs even though my kids did most of the work. We have one dog now that my daughter rescued last summer. He is young and powerful and a handfull.
I am not looking for another one, but many of our dogs have showed up and applied for the job on their own so time will tell I guess.

 

[MKCP5]

I have not read this entire thread, probably about half, so forgive me, but I too am in the do we get a dog dilemma. We finally bought a single famly home of our own and the full court press is on from everyone. DD (11) has been begging for a dog for 4 years!! I love animals, and would prefer a couple of cats, but DD is very allergic. DS (13) is a little anxious around dogs as a result of a couple of bad experiences, but is interested in one still. Everyone from friends and relatives and even her coach is on the bandwagon now that we have the new house. But DH and I work full time, the kids are in school all day.........you all know the drill. When will there be time? But I know in my heart the rewards a pet can bring. I am terribly torn. I always feel like I am the voice of "no"

 

[kangareaux]

the thought of doggy breath, muddy paws and who knows what else are not my idea of fun

All I have to say is that my dog is much cleaner and makes WAY fewer messes than my children!

 

[Andrea from PA]

Our Cozy has been with us just over a year.

She is a Desigenr Dog -- Golden Retriever & Poodle mix -- cost big bucks for this mutt. For us it was well worth it. We have allergies & asthma in our house. The last thing I wanted was to get a dog & not be able to live with it. She doesn't shed at all. Trade off is she needs daily brushing and to be wiped down of the pollen at this time of year.

She is cute, smart, fairly well behaved. Potty trained quick. But she also doens't cuddle as much as I want & would rather sleep by herself ( I wanted a dog to sit on the sofa with me

She gets into a lot still, but we didn't keep up with her training.

We send her to daycare 1 day a week. Lets her get her energy out. 2 working adults, 3 elementary age kids -- no time once it got dark at 5 pm to exercise her enough. I planned on the daycare expense before we got her.

I think with the right breed (mix in our case) for your family & the willingness of all family members to care for the dog, it is worth it.

DONT JUMP INTO IT -- Consider a breed, join a discussion group for the breed & mull it over for some time. Get the family into a "dog" routine. For us that met taking walks before puppy came at the same time daily. Kids making sure all small toys, etc were put away.

If you get a puppy, know the first year is the toddler & teen years rolled into one -- curious, headstrong, etc.

Good Luck!

 

[Natalie77]

A few weeks ago after lots of begging we got a puppy. She was so cute a West Highland white terrier, I say was because we don't have her anymore. About two days after we got her our three year old started breaking out with hives! It progressively got worse until we could no longer deny that she was allergic to the dog. Everyone was sad to see the puppy go, but I confess I was a little relieved Man was that alot of work! Just taking her out to poop took so much time. I know it is tempting but I would definitely listen to everyones warnings about all of the work involved. If you do get a dog the kind we got(westie) is a great breed because they don't shed and you don't have to groom them either. All you have to do is take them in once a year to have their coat thinned out. So that is some time and money saved! Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[kellyg403]

OP it sounds like you have made a wise and realistic decision for your family. I love dogs, have had boxers my whole life. Never really been without one. I am great with ONE dog in the house. I have to chime in that my kids are far messier than my boxer girl. She never has muddy paws, she sits and waits for someone to come and wipe her paws before she comes in the house, only does her business in one section of the yard and really not a huge shedder. 3years ago, my oldest dd found a box of lab mixed puppies, 4 of them. 3 black and one golden colored. Around 4 weeks old. 900 dollars in vet bills later we found homes for 3 and I was convinced by dd to let her keep "Cloe". DD is now a mom and wife with her own home. Guess who didn't want a dog because it was too much hassle? I now have a dog whom I love a great deal but is a shedder of black hair in great proportions, who has some off the wall habits...like taking clothes under beds and sleeping with them, whole outfits from the dirty clothes hamper! I do enjoy her presence but there are times I remember why I wanted 1 dog at a time. My boxer is getting older and doesn't want to play all the time. Its a huge committment. And one kids very rarely get. So unless you are getting the dog for "YOU" don't do it!

Kelly

 

[tink2dw]

Also, since dh and I are going back to school, I would feel a little better with a dog there with them, hopefully they'd be protective or at least the bark would scare people off...

Getting a dog for the companionship and love is a great idea BUT getting a dog for home security will NOT deter intruders and burglars. Have you ever seen the TV show 'It Takes A Thief'? If not, the premise of the show is the hosts, Jon and Matt (ex-burglars now Private Eye and School Teacher) will scout out different neighborhoods to find homes susceptible to break-ins then the producers go in, have the homeowners sign up for the show and then tell them Jon will be breaking into their home, but do not tell them when he will do it, just like a real break-in. They set up cameras to track Jon's every movement then when the break in happens, Matt watches Jon break into the house and rob the homeowners from his van on closed circuit cameras then after the homeowners come home and see the robbery, Matt comes in and shows them the video of how their house was robbed and what things Jon stole, including jewelry, guns, ammo, important documents, cars, and even sometimes the family dog. The family gets all their stuff back and then Matt hooks them up with all the security improvements they need and then they both come back to test if the family is using the systems they put in place (if they can break in again or not).

Whenever Jon sees there is a dog left in the house, he usually makes friends with the dog (which the dog acts like they know Jon) and he has never been bitten by a dog. If it's a big dog, Jon will let it outside or lock it in a bathroom. Jon usually laughs when he sees the dogs. So moral of the story, Dogs are wonderful additions to the family, but they are not an alternative to home security gear (IE, BOLTED DOWN safes, gun safes [also BOLTED DOWN], security cameras, motion activated flood lights and security alarm systems.) With the security camera systems, some of them are hooked up to the internet so, with a username and password, the homeowner can check on his house from work and Security Alarm systems can be operated with a key fob (like your car alarm!)

 

[Slakk]

Thank you very much everyone! You have definately made up my mind to not get one! I also appreciate the honest answers so that now I know that I am not the only person who feels this way and am not a horrible mother for not letting my kids get one! We had also been getting pressure from family that we needed to let them get one.

Oh, I should say, I am really not OCD, my dh just always says I am because I am very organized and anything slightly out of order or dirty drives me batty! I currently do home daycare, and the mess is the part that drives me crazy!

Also, as I was sitting here typing, the cat just came up to me and sure enough, dd forgot to feed her again before she left for school. So, no, I am definately not ready for a dog! Maybe when the boys are older I will rethink it, but for now, I don't think it would be a good decision for us or the dog.

Thank you very much!

Thank you for doing the right thing! Too many people treat animals like accessories and do not plan out the fact that they are going to be around a long time.

We have three cats, two dogs and a horse - I would not trade one of them but my family is animal lovers. I feel bad for animals that are in a house because *everyone has one*

Your kids can get a dog when they are grown but putting a dog in a house that they are not 100% wanted is unfair to everyone.

 

[powellrj]

we were on the fence last year about getting a dog. We had puppies when we were first married and because we were too busy and not home enough, they were not well behaved.

We decided we weren't dog people.

We went many years without a dog, until the kids were applying the full court press about having one. They are older and we thought it was now or never.

We started looking at the shelter every couple of weeks and sure enough, a cute little 4 year old yorkie showed up. DSs girlfriend took him home and then brought him over to our house. Its been true love ever since.

We did learn somethings. We aren't puppy people. That was where our mistake was. We would get puppies and they were just too high energy for us.

Odie came to us already potty trained and neutered. He had a few bad habits that we had to break, but he has been much easier to handle than the puppies.

He loves to play with the kids, but he also is old enough to need some down time too!!

Its been a year now and its amazing the effect he has had on our lives. We laugh that who would have thought that 9 pounds could bring such joy! Even my DF who HATES dogs will invite him over to visit!

I guess that point I am making is while you may not be ready for a puppy, you might give an older dog a chance. I am so glad that we did. Its really heartbeaking to walk through your local animal shelter and see all the dogs that are there.

He looks really ratty in the picture below. He had a "spa day" last week and looks like a different dog!! I will have to post a new picture!

 

[bsusanmb]

I was never a dog person. We always had 2 cats, persian or Himmies - when one died, we would get a new one so that one wouldn't be lonely. However, all it takes is one accidental urination and you can't get rid of that odor.

One thing I always thought I would like was a little lap dog - one that was light weight, affectionate, loved to be carried around....and 6 months ago, I bought a male Maltese from a breeder. This turned out to be the best little dog. He is just adorable and sweet. We can close him into our hallway with a bed and food, water, toys, and puppy pad, and he is content. He has never cried or whined when penned up when we go to work, and he is too small to destroy anything. He uses those puppy pads to do his "business" when we aren't home to take him out. He is playful, and loves children. We have 4 grandchildren under 3 and they adore him. They run and chase him and they love it.

I think that the key is not getting dog from a puppy mill - typically sold at a pet store.

A dog is a big commitment. It's like adopting a child. But to me, it has been a good decision. DH and I just adore that little Riley dog of ours. He is small like our cats, easy to care for like our cats, but has a dog's personality and energy.

 

[crjack]

When we went to pick the puppy up, it was on top of a patio chair nipping and snapping and barking at all of it's litter mates so they could not get on the chair. It did the same thing to it's own mother and she did not do a thing about it to correct the puppy.

Ohiominnie, it sounds as though the breeder acted poorly and unprofessionally when choosing this puppy for your family. It's too bad that you had to experience that, especially with all that you and your family invested in trying to make it work. A good breeder can tell a lot about a dogs personality as a puppy and should be working to find a good match......a family with young children should never have a dominant or alpha dog.

To the OP it sounds like you are making a wise choice in not getting a dog. I am a dog lover and owner but your situation right now would make it a stressful situation and there is always the option of getting one down the road.

Our dog was 7 months old when we adopted him through a rescue and he has been a wonderful addition to our family. He was already neutered and housebroken. His "foster mom" from the rescue group had done a great job of socializing him and working on basic training. We felt like we got a puppy but without a lot of the puppy work. He is also cleaner than my kids as well!

The rescue groups in our area do a tremendous job of evaluating a dog and matching them to the right family. They are dedicated volunteers who truly want a good fit when placing a dog so they will evaluate your family situation with great detail. (age of children, etc.)

If someone is considering a dog from a breeder it can still be beneficial to contact a local rescue because often times they can give you a referral for someone that they recommend. Too many dogs end up in rescues unfortunately and a volunteer can help to steer you in the right direction. A good place to start is Petfinder if it is something you are considering.

 

[englishteacha]

If your kids would like an animal to play with, why not a kitten? Or is there a shelter where they could volunteer? Are they old enough to have a "business" dog walking in the neighborhood? My mom always said that if you're in doubt about purchasing something, don't buy it. I think this applies to adopting a pet as well. If you have doubts, you aren't ready.

 

[tink2dw]

If your kids would like an animal to play with, why not a kitten? Or is there a shelter where they could volunteer? Are they old enough to have a "business" dog walking in the neighborhood? My mom always said that if you're in doubt about purchasing something, don't buy it. I think this applies to adopting a pet as well. If you have doubts, you aren't ready.

Those are some really good ideas?

 

[LoriZH]

I am really not a dog person, I fully admit to being a clean freak and am a little OCD, the thought of doggy breath, muddy paws and who knows what else are not my idea of fun. However, my kids really want one, especially my boys. We have a 6 year old cat who is not very playful anymore and my boys are breaking my heart trying to get her to play with them all of the time. Also, since dh and I are going back to school, I would feel a little better with a dog there with them, hopefully they'd be protective or at least the bark would scare people off, not to mention keep them entertained.

So, please tell me the basics- how much do they cost, what is the vet going to cost me and how often, how much does dog food run? Any suggestions on breeds that are good with kids, not too bad for allergies and don't shed a lot? I don't like little yippy dogs but don't want a large one, either. I guess we are looking at a mid-size! Also, how long can you leave them alone without them needing to go "outside"?

Thank you!
Any help you can give me would be greatly appreciated! I don't want to get one if we aren't ready for it!

Okay I didn't read the entire thread so if you've already made up your mind or you've already purchased a pooch, you can just ignore this, lol.

Should you get a dog? In a word: YES! I love doggies! I have one and she is absolutely the BEST 1000 bucks we've ever spent! EVER Sure, she's a pain in the neck when she barks or when you have to get her big booty into the bath, or brush her teeth, clean her ears, clip her nails or dish out a fortune for the vet bills, but she is SOOOO worth it. I just love her and I have always had a dog growing up and when I lived on my own I had a cute little cocker spaniel pound puppy that I just LOVED and when I got married and my husband moved in she was like our baby, umm..until our baby came along and she hated her (the dog hated the baby) so we had to give her to our FIL, and she became his best friend until she died about a year or so ago, but she was such a good companion for him.

So, if you have the time and the money to invest in a dog, then YES do it, they are so loyal and loving and become part of the family (only you can leave them home alone to go to dinner and movies without child protective services coming after you ) Once again: YES!

 

[hsmamato2]

OP stated that her very young kids want a dog...that is the worst reason to get a dog. The shelters are full of half grown dogs that a kid wanted,but the committment was just too much!
Dogs are like kids,only they NEVER grow up! Like sloppy toddlers with bad breath and lots of love! Vacations are planned around them, days away from home,everything! Hand your kids a pooper scooper, send them to a neighbors house with a dog for a *month*,and then ask if they want that in their own yard..... who's going to be doing all those xtra jobs?
I say all this b/c the kids are incapable of caring for the dog on their own,it will be the OP's job. Ask yourself,do I want a dog? If the anwer is no right now, then you should listen to your own heart.
Also,OP said she'd be going back to school soon, which indicates less home time, which indicates...trouble on the horizon with young kids,a tired dh and mom,and a puppy. Most pups don't really settle,and become 100% livable till they're about 2 YEARS OLD.
and this is with constant training,and care. It's just how dogs mature-
We have 2, we love them, but they are a lot of work. Nothing even remotely close to caring for cats.