OT: Q re: regressing 2 yr old.

[schlepsnort]

We are currently having a nightmare of a time dealing with our VERY active 2 1/2 yr old.

At night he refuses to stay in his bed. He has to share the room with his older brother and the baby. Those two go to sleep pretty quickly but AJ will stay up and mess with them to no end! Last night he spent two hours just messing around, putting tp in the sink, flooding the toilet with hand soap, flicking the room light on and off, looking out the windows and talking. Tonight he actually climbed INTO the baby's crib with the baby!! He didn't hurt him and was actually talking with him and making him laugh BUT the point is it is bed time, not play time!

We've tried the Supernanny method of just going in and keep putting him into bed but he just will NOT stop. So we tried a spank, NOTHING. We've tried taking things away (like toys). Nothing. He just does not care. It's like he cannot shut off at the end of the day no matter HOW BUSY he's been all day. He refuses to take naps and I end up spending 2 hours during the day just trying to get him to just relax and we both end up frustrated and more wired.

And now for the past few days he's been stealing the baby's pacifier. He had been such a good boy about giving up the paci at the age of 2. And now all of a sudden he is back at it with the paci. He will actually find paci's the baby has dropped or spit out, hide them in the room so that at night, when we aren't around he can dig out the hidden paci and go to sleep with it.

I'm almost tempted to give him his own paci if it means that he will just go to bed at night instead of fighting it for HOURS. But I really don't like the idea of him almost being 3 and still using a paci. I wouldn't let him use one in public but then if I let him use one at home then I'm afraid that I'm sending him mixed signals.

It seems like he's regressing and that he is just so overly active that he can't shut his head off at night and relax. He goes (or well, is SUPPOSED to go to bed by 8) and usually after the fighting is done it's more like 10 and then he gets up at 6 fresh as a daisy and running rampant all day.
We have a bedtime routine, no t.v., story time and tuck in.

I'm fresh out of ideas so I'm open to just about anything!

He's driving us all into the looney bin with this behavior!!

 

[Robmom]

I don't know what to tell you, but I send you I have a 17 month DS and he is all over the place too. My problem is that he will only sleep with me at night. He refuses his crib. Thankfully, he will take a nap in it during the day. He'll get with it sooner or later. It will seem like an eternity to you though, I'm sure.

 

[mamato2princesses]

When I got pg with our second, I was so tired at night (DH worked nights), that I would let DD4 sleep with me just so I could go to bed. BIG mistake! She was 2 at the time, and I ruined her whole bedtime routine. Now she's 4, and this summer I made myself get her into a better routine, so I REALLY feel for you.

My girlfriend thinks she has the market cornered on her routine. WARM MILK!!! She swears by it. She gives both of her girls warm milk before bed (I don't...DD can't drink after 7 or she will wet the bed) and they fall right to sleep. It may be worth a try!

GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Shannon

 

[Not so Dumbo]

I don't know what to tell ya, but if you figure it out let me know.

I have a DS4 who is EXACTLY the same way. He has always been this way since he was old enough to walk. Everyone said it's just his age, but over the las 2yrs it's gotten worse instead of better. I've tried talking to his doctor and his teacher and both don't see anything wrong.
I've suspected ADHD, but can't find anyone to test him.

 

[schlepsnort]

Yeah we've wondered about ADHD but I know that they don't usually start looking at that until after 1st grade.

Still trying to figure it out. Today we broke down and gave him a binky and lo and behold he went straight to sleep. So we've told him that Binky is ONLY when he's sleeping, it is never allowed out of the bed area. We'll see what happens tonight!

 

[mom2grace]

Yeah we've wondered about ADHD but I know that they don't usually start looking at that until after 1st grade.

Still trying to figure it out. Today we broke down and gave him a binky and lo and behold he went straight to sleep. So we've told him that Binky is ONLY when he's sleeping, it is never allowed out of the bed area. We'll see what happens tonight!

If it works, do it! They are only little once, and really, WHO CARES?! Kids can only control when they sleep, when/what they eat, and when they go to the bathroom............the 3 things we all find most frustrating!

And, give yourself a BREAK, you have 3 BOYS!!!!!!!!

 

[pigget74]

Our friend did this with her kid. At the age of 2 he could only have binky when he went to bed. When he got up in the morning they made a big deal about leaving it in the bed. If they saw it with it later they would sayyou must need a nap because the binky is only for sleeping. He would run back to his bed and leave it there. Good luck

 

[schlepsnort]

Yep 3 boys, of which 2 have learned the fine art of belching on command...

And yesterday the 4 yr old, clear as day told us that he doesn't have a butt, he has an a$$. Oh joy. We had a stern talk about potty mouth. He hasn't repeated it.

 

[mamato2princesses]

 

[ardig123]

My almost 3dd is the same way. She just cannot settle down to sleep and we have tried everything. She has been like this since she was born... I have been considering trying an herbal remedy I found called Serenite Jr.... I just hate to give her anything though! The other drawback is that it cost $35 and I have no idea if it will work! Here is the link if you would like to investigate it...
http://nativeremedies.com/serenitejr-children-baby-sleep-disorder-insomnia.shtml

 

[Lisa_Belle]

If he's not going to sleep until 10 and wakes up 8 hours "fresh as a daisy and going all day" then most likely he doesn't need a nap anymore. Sorry because I know you need him to take one! My DD and a couple of her friends all gave up their naps around 15 to 18 months old. The moms all said that if they didn't nap, they still had to have quiet time for a couple of hours. DD is almost 5 and we still have this rule. Mainly because our dog likes to take her afternoon nap. I try to encourage DD to look through picture books, but she usually just plays dolls. I don't know what to tell you about the paci because ours all got thrown out at 2 (daycare rules).

 

[surfgirl]

Do you think he's possibly low on sleep?

If you read the book 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Kids' - they talk about kids who are tired, the adrenaline (sp?) kicks in to keep them awake, then they have a harder time getting 'down' from the adrenaline high. Its a vicous cycle, because they don't sleep as well either. I realize its counter-intuitive, but just a thought.

Do you limit his intake of sugar after... 4 or 5pm ? Some kids are hyper-sensitive.

Have you asked your pediatricin at his last well visit ? I would certainly think it would be a good question.

For reference, my 6yo and 4 yo sleep in the same room - about 7:30 to 7ish. I actually think my 6yo needs more sleep on some days. My 2 1/2 yo sleeps 7:30 until 6:30 with a 2-3 hr. nap during the day.

good luck!!!

 

[glass slipper girl]

We are soon to be a 3 boy household here too. DS #3 is due next month.

My 4 year old is sort of like that. He ends up in our bed around 4 am almost every night. I am 8 months pregnant and can not carry him back to his bed. DH sleeps like a log so most of the time he isn't aware of it even happening till morning. He fights sleep at bedtime and I worry about him keeping his brother (age 6) up too as they share a room but that doesn't seem to be an issue so far.

On the binkie...if it works, I say let him have it. Both of mine had them for a long time, both till around 3.5. We were having potty training issues with both (they pee trained quickly but both took more than a year beyond that to poop train) and the ped recommended we do one thing at a time so either stop the binky (or whoppy as it is known in our house for reasons I don't understand!) or work on pooping but not both at the same time. I felt like the poop thing was more important so that won. I did tell them that the whoppy was ONLY for their room so if the whoppies came outside the room, they got thrown away. Both kids tested that exactly once and never again. That way the whole world didn't have to know they still had a whoppy and I didn't have to listen to the comments from friends or strangers but the kids still had their comfort items. At 2.5 both of mine would fall asleep quickly if they had the whoppy but not without it.

There are far worse things in life than having a child who uses a paci longer than usual. I would just take it out of their mouth when they were sound asleep so it wasn't pushing on their teeth or anything. The odds are vastly in your favor that letting him have it for another few months (or even a year) that he still won't be using it when he goes off to school. Of course if he establishes the not sleeping well pattern, that MIGHT still be with him when he goes off to school.

 

[disneymomtofour]

Our third daughter was like this. She gave up naps very early. Her natural clock was to stay up late and sleep late. If she took a nap it was even worse. Totally opposite from our other kids. We used to have her come down about 10:00 every night after everyone else had been asleep for a few hours. We would let her lay on the couch and watch the Emeril's show on Food network. She loved to cook so she loved this show. She would fall asleep pretty quick. I know, watching TV is not the best, but sometimes you have to do what works. Now that she is in school, she is on the same schedule as the other kids, but she will still stay up late and sleep late on the weekends if she can. You can't fight nature--it is just the way they are made.

Our oldest daughter used a pacifier until she was 3 1/2. (Only in bed.) She just wouldn't give it up. We started cutting it--first the tip, then about half-way off. (We just really checked it often to make sure it was still safe for her to suck.) It would fall out of her mouth as soon as she fell asleep. It didn't have the same feel, so she just lost interest and she gave it up on her own with out a fight. She just didn't ask for it one night and that was it.

I agree with not being so hard on yourself. If all the boys are in the same room, I think you have to do what is best for the other boy's getting a good night sleep and what is best for your family.

I feel for you!

 

[LaraK]

First, from one sleep deprived mom to another

Now, one of my theories on parenting is that good baby gates make for good babies. We have gates at the doors of both kid's rooms. We leave all the doors open on the bedroom level of the house and DS (who is a worse sleeper now than DD) can see into our room. If he gets out of his bed, I close my door as a punishment...he hates not being able to see into my room. As an added bonus, when I close my door it muffles his screams.

By the way, you sure can tell the difference between boys and girls....my DD informed us that we could not use the word "butt" either....we have to say "buttocks" "HELLOOOO! MOM, it's not BUTT! It is Buttocks"

 

[booger73]

In my opinion - do what you/family feel most comfortable with and whatever works - Our oldest (DS5) did the same and still at times (rarely, ~1/mo) wakes up in the middle of the night and tries to climb on mommy's head

Our pediatrician gave us the advice that all kids are different - all have their own needs, and it's best to just do what you feel is right - his point was, 'do you know of any teenagers that still sleep in their parents bed just because they spent an extra night in yours, or with you, or slept with a pacifier, or, etc'

I say do whatever works/needed for everyone to just sleep - without the rest everyone gets worse/cranky/etc.. so just look for whatever that 'thing' is that he needs (in our case it was a loft bed that DS5 wanted)

 

[Brooknwdw]

If he went straight to sleep with a paci, I say you've found your answer! At least for now, you need some sleep, too girl!

Both my boys had paci's till 3 or later. It's okay, plus once fast asleep they fall out of their mouth anyway.


Sometimes you have to pick your battles. You both need sleep more than he needs to give up the paci right now.

Good Luck!

 

[barkley]

my son slept like a champ until he was about 3 then he would lay for hours trying to get to sleep (tossing and turning, just could not get to sleep despite being exhausted). because he was in a preschool setting we were able to get an evaluation for adhd (the thing the psychiatrist needed was input from people/non parents who say how the child behaved in a non home setting). we did this after we ruled out allergies, thyroid and hearing problems. ds was put on 2 types of meds-one for the day which helped him 'rev down' and focus, another for at night, it was a slight anti-depressant that is apparantly popular for non depressed children with sleep issues. after about 6 months on the one med he learned how to relax and get himself to sleep and we were able to discontinue it's use.

i would warn against using herbal meds with any child you suspect may have adhd, their body chemistry is such that they tend to have the opposite reaction to drugs than they are indended for (for example while benadryl makes most kids sleepy and lathargic in adhd kids it tends to set them on edge and prevent sleep). there have also been some warnings that certain herbal drugs while they are fine for adults to take can cause problems in developing children (despite the marketing of smaller does as 'junior' or 'pediatric').

if he can sleep with the binky i'de say let him go with it. my son is 9 1/2 and sleeps with 2 items every night -a teddy bear he's named for one of his favorite yugioh characters and a 'baby pooh' he got at wdw a year ago. they are his comforting mechanism and i see no problems with it. dd is 12 and still sleeps with a now very ragged baby blanket, she can sleep without it but she finds it more comforting to do so-not a big issue for us.

maybe you could get him a special 'night-night binkie'-keep it on a shelf and he can only have it when he's in bed, if he gets out of bed to go potty he has to leave it on the pillow-if he gets out for a non valid reason it goes back on the shelf until he's layed in the bed quietly for a designated period of time.