OT- Potty Training ?

[kuusimo]

I am at a loss here and I am hoping to get some help before I You get the idea.

I have an almost 4 year old boy who potty trained fairly early. Last year, he started pooping again in his underwear. I got so frustrated with him. I made him clean it out, go back to wearing pull ups... He did that for 4-5 months. Nothing I did helped. Eventually I told him that if he did not go in the toilet then he would not get to go to Disneyland. It worked and he has been fine UNTIL the first of this month. He has started pooping again in his underwear. I have tried everything I can think of- going at certain times, reward charts, punishments... Nothing works. The poop is not constipated (it was earlier and that worried me that he was withholding). Tonight he pooped AND went pee in his shorts while playing outside. He just forgets to stop and go. So tonight he is sleeping naked.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

 

[HelenePA]

Well.. I kinda went thru the same thing last year with my then 5 yr old daughter... she would just play play play and forget to pee... made for fun trips away from home sometimes... since last summer she hasn't done it again? Is he going thru any life changes? is there a new baby? did you move ect ect... sometimes when "big" things happen to them they regress... Good Luck...

 

[MSSANDRA]

I think that I would do a quick dr visit to be sure that there were no stomach issues. Assuming no major life changes, i would first get rid of the pull up and then give all the control to him. Buy two large baskets, a ton of regular underwear and teach him how to "dump" in the tolet and put the dirty under wear in the other basket. Of course put it all in a non carpet bathroom. Sounds like you sorta tried that a while back. If you try this try to be 100% consistant. Do not respond even if you smell him. If he mentions to you he pooped, tell him that he knows what to do. It is tough and you might clean up a few messes in the bathroom after he is finihsed, but I have seen this work when nothing else has with older children. good luck!!!!!!!

 

[Hannathy]

Why does he say he is doing it. Ask him not us, at his age he should be able to come up with an answer. I agree with the making him clean up everything himself. Is there something he does like sports or an activity that you could remind him is for big kids not babies and that if he isn't potty trained he can't go to? Like you did with Disney. I would and I know this isn't popular but I would also let him know that if he isn't sick you are not happy he is doing this. Tell him if he is sick it is Ok but just to do it is disappointing to you. When he is playing I'd remind him every couple of hours for a bit till he starts remembering again. Good Luck you are much more patient than I am.

 

[higleytownheros]

Hi, I'm going through something similar with my DS who will be 4 in June. He recently starting wetting his pants all the time, although thankfully he is still going #2 in the potty. I didn't see this thread at first ... and I just started my own looking for some suggestions too. I can definitely relate with the frustration. I agree with making him get cleaned up by himself. I have my DS change himself when he wets, but he doesn't mind doing it. I'm interested to see what other responses you get.

 

[CampbellScot]

I think that I would do a quick dr visit to be sure that there were no stomach issues. Assuming no major life changes, i would first get rid of the pull up and then give all the control to him. Buy two large baskets, a ton of regular underwear and teach him how to "dump" in the tolet and put the dirty under wear in the other basket. Of course put it all in a non carpet bathroom. Sounds like you sorta tried that a while back. If you try this try to be 100% consistant. Do not respond even if you smell him. If he mentions to you he pooped, tell him that he knows what to do. It is tough and you might clean up a few messes in the bathroom after he is finihsed, but I have seen this work when nothing else has with older children. good luck!!!!!!!

This is a VERY good suggestion. Also, I would start putting him on the potty every 30 min. Totally interrupt whatever he is doing to sit on the potty. Tell him that since he can't seem to remember to go on the potty like a big boy, you have to do it this way until he remembers. This will put the control right back in his lap. He won't like being interrupted every 30 minutes. It will get old fast and he'll get back on track. He needs to be responsible for cleaning up after himself...I would include a bath in that as well. Make it as bit an ordeal as possible. It will make the point that pooping his pants is much more work than going on the potty when he has to go. Also, I wouldn't let him go to play dates or parties as a result of this. He is old enough to understand that his choices are having consequences and you certainly can't let him go play at other people's houses if he is pooping his pants. Only big boys get privileges like play dates and birthday parties.

Whatever you do, DO NOT PUT HIM IN PULL UPS. That only reinforces the going in his pants.

If you commit to this for a week or two, he will get it. If he makes a mess in his pants, it's a huge hassle, he doesn't get to have big boy privileges and he is interrupted every 30 minutes to sit on the potty. He will get back on track. This is a control issue. You just have to steer it in the right direction. His choices have consequences, both positive and negative. If the negative are a big enough drag, he'll choose the easier route and start going potty IN the potty and not his pants!

good luck!

 

[kuusimo]

Thanks for the suggestions. This is the most unusual child I have ever seen though. He really has not currency that I can take away. If I told him he could not play, he would read a book and be fine. We took his beloved blankets away for lying about going in his pants and he forgot they were in time out... So that is why I feel like I am at a loss.

I have an appointment with his ped in a week for his yearly check up. I am going to talk about it then.

I have had him clean it out and not acknowledged that he went. When he changes for the night, he just leaves the soiled underwear in the bedroom. When I tell him to wash it out, he does, but like I said- he is fine with the whole thing.

I have also asked him why he is pooping and he says he forgets. No other reason.

So I called his pre-school teacher and we decided to have him not go to pre-school today. He also brought the treat today and we made cupcakes so we are dropping them off to her house before pre-school starts. We told him that if he goes in the toilet over the weekend, we will see about him going on Monday. We also decided to have him go every 30 minutes on the toilet and make it as inconvient as possible. (For both of us).

Funny thing is- he is so much like his dad. Two tarus's in the same house-we have locked bull horns quite frequently.

 

[JUST STARTING]

I'm happy I found this thread. I am having the same issues with my DS 31/2 wetting his pants. It seems like he just doesn't want to stop what he is doing to go potty. There are days he is great and uses the potty on his own and when we think he has it down but there are also days he wets himself and needs to be reminded throughout the day. I feel like he will never be completely trained. I'm glad I'm not alone.

 

[CampbellScot]

I really think the going every 30 minutes will do the trick. You are physically reminding him and reinforcing going to the bathroom. Making it as inconvenient as possible is the trick. It sounds like you have an incredibly bright boy on your hands. I think dropping off the cupcakes was a good idea. He got to see that others lives continue on, but until he gets this under control his life is going to be a series of on and off the potty and that's about it. If he leaves his dirty undies on the floor, I'd wake him up or interrupt what he is doing to take those dirty underwear to the washer.

Really commit to it. Set a timer. He is eventually going to say in exasperation "I DON'T HAVE TO GO!" and you will just say to him that he obviously isn't sure when he has to go or not...so until you have some clean days, it will be this way. After a few days of every 30 minutes and no accidents, you can move to every hour and so on until he is so fed up he goes himself.

You can do it!! I know what you mean about the Taurus...good grief they can be difficult in the most plodding and placid way. Hang in there!