OT: Potty training woes.

[crl]

My DS will be 3 at the end of January. Last year when he turned 2 he was interested in potty training and actually used the potty a few times successfully. He then started getting really constipated to the point of needing meds to keep things flowing. While getting that all worked out the doctor advised not potty training so that he didn't associate the potty with these problems. So now that we have an all clear to train, he does not want to use the potty. We've tried potty charts with stickers. We've tried little prizes for using the potty. We've tried using a little kids potty and a potty seat on the big potty. Big sister is trying to get him to be a bid kid like her. He's really into pirates so we told him pirates don't use diapers and his response is that pirates throw the potty into the ocean. I have no idea where to go from here since DD trained herself at 19 months. Please help this potty training mom!

 

[K and K's Mommy]

I just went through this with my youngest. My older two trained easily at 2. It is now my belief that there is a window of opportunity for easier training, and I missed it with my oldest. He wasn't potty trained until 3.5. I finally just took away the diaper, and we stayed home for three days. That was all it took for peeing. He's never had an accident in public.

Pooping was a different story! He never had an accident, but he kept asking for a diaper. After four days of not going, I gave in and gave him a diaper and then talked to the doctor. He said this was somewhat normal and to keep giving him the diaper, but make him sit on the toilet when he goes. After doing this for two weeks, we tried it without the diaper and a big toy reward, and he went in the toilet!

Good luck!

 

[mommy4]

I don't have any advice, but I feel your woes My DS is 3 1/2 and still not potty trained I have tried everything, including keeping him in underwear, but he just keeps going in his pants and doesn't care if he's wet! It's so frustruating!!! My older 2 boys just were done one day and did it. I just don't know what to do either. He can go, he just chooses not to.

 

[mjkacmom]

One Upon a Potty DVD, nakey butt, potty in the room. You might've missed the window - my 2 year olds were much easier than my 3 year olds - but nakey butt works well. Don't worry about pooping - 2 of mine poop-trained months after pee (would ask for a diaper). Once he's mastered nakey-butt (a couple of days), pants with no underwear. I only used pullups for outings, since nakey doesn't work well in public!

 

[Nom]

My daughter did not train until about 3.5, and I was going through the same problems you describe. What I did was a combination of two things:

First, a really special reward, beyond stickers. One day I got an invite to one of my friends birthday parties. She asked if she could go and I told her it was an adult's only party. at the time she was really obsessed with wanting to do adult things, so I told her that if she potty trained she would get to go because kids with diapers can't go to adults stuff. So then she actually wanted to train!

Second, after the party invite came, I went through the pain of just going to big kid underwear and dealing with some accidents. It only took 3 days of accidents and then she was trained. It was a REAL PAIN, and I wanted to quit many times, but it had to be done.

After she trained I just took her out to dinner to a special restaurant with some friends of mine (I didn't take her to the real party), and she loved it.

 

[ktlm]

My DD is just a few weeks younger than your DS. We had the const./withholding issues too and had to back off of potty training. Apparently, those issues can relate to being scared to poop on the potty. After trying about every home remedy you can think of (we only did the ped. recommended medicine one day because it gave her horrible cramps, and then went off on our own to find something more natural) wound up just recently getting the problem resolved with 1 to 1 1/2 teaspoons of olive oil in a glass of orange juice every day, so we are finally back on track. Prizes and stickers never worked with DD either. If your DS is into Sesame Street at all, you might try the Elmo potty DVD. My DD became practically obsessed with it. It really made her want to use the potty. She on her own has started going to the bathroom every time she needs to pee with just a few accidents here and there where she doesn't get there in time. (For quite a while, DH and I have also done a goofy dance and made up song every time she goes on the potty which she loves.) Poop is still another matter. She has gone to the potty to do it a couple of times, but then has freaked out and begged for a diaper. We think the fact that she has actually tried is a good start, and that she will get there soon. We are not pushing that issue yet.

 

[Nom]

I almost forgot the other thing I did (I think I actually read about it here!), when she had an accident I made her get into the bathtub to wash up, and I used water that was not warm. Not icy cold mind you, but room temp- just splashed it on her legs and private areas. So that besides the uncomfortable feeling of her wet clothes, there would also be the uncomfortable feeling of the wash up.

 

[puffkin]

I think you may have missed the window for easily training pooping on the potty. Right around his 2nd birthday, DS started to be interested in the potty. He was VERY obvious when he had to poop (red face, would squat in a corner) so when we saw him making the signs we took him to the toilet. We were very positive saying how exciting it was and we couldn't wait for the poopies to come out so we could flush them away. We also did a small candy treat. But the big key, (and some probably think it is a terrible approach, but it worked) is we forced him to stay on the potty until he went. He obviously had to go and we wouldn't let him out of the bathroom until he went. There were some tears and crying for the elmo (what he called his pampers) but we continued to stay positive and eventually he went. It wasn't always easy and many times I wanted to give in. Probably those first two times it took at least 30 minutes. But after that he was fine with pooping on the potty and no issues since then.

We did the naked butt thing too for peeing. We started by sitting him on the potty every 30 minutes, but it didn't take him long to go over to it by himself. He used both the potty ring and the seat. He only had 2 accidents before he was going in the potty himself. We did give M&M's as a reward but only if he asked. He was potty trained naked butt about 28 months. We still used diapers out of the house. The day we left for vacation he decided himself to no longer pee in his diaper. He was 30 months old. He used Pullups the whole trip and was dry the entire week. He has been in underpants ever since (pull ups out fo the house) and only had 2 accidents (both at nap time).

 

[Poohbug]

As you can see, you are not alone. My oldest was not trained until 3-with alot of work along the way.

Well now I thought I knew what I was doing and my second would be trained at 2. Did not happen. Was 3 1/2 before he was potty trained and he still needs pull-ups at night now(he is 5). It can get frustrating but you just have to go with the flow.

I am just introducing my 21 month old to the potty now but have no expectations whatsoever.

If they don't want to do it-they are not going to do it. Just keep looking for that motivation that will work for your DS and try not to obsess about it.

 

[puffkin]

Forgot to add, but maybe you should try a new potty seat? My daycare person had to get a new potty because the kids hated the one she had. Once she got a new one, they did much better. Also, a lot of kids are uncomfortable on the potty rings and are afraid of "falling in". Maybe a new one would help entice him to go. I absolutely LOVE the Baby Bjorn toilet training products and would recommend them to everyone:

Potty:
http://www.target.com/Baby-Bjorn-BABYBJ%C3%96RN-Potty-Chair/dp/B000056J7K/qid=1228406587/ref=br_1_1/182-8214843-6597835?ie=UTF8&node=256479011&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1

Easy to clean (sold plastic design) and fit my son who is rather tall. Great splash guard for boys. DS could easily remove the bowl and carry to the toilet (he enjoyed doing this for some reason ). I got a blue one from Target, they come in lots of colors.

Potty Ring:
http://www.target.com/BABYBJ%C3%96RN-Toilet-Trainer-White-Black/dp/B00006RHLT/qid=1228406657/ref=br_1_7/182-8214843-6597835?ie=UTF8&node=256479011&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1
I know this is a little pricey, but it fits any toilet great. It does not budge and you can pop it off and on so easily. My DS takes it on and off himself. It also has a decent splash guard which is great with boys. It is also solid plastic and cleans up so easily.

 

[Minniemouse07]

I truly believe that each child will potty learn in their own time. Dd was in underwear full time by 2.5yo but ds is 3yo today and has no interest yet.

I'm not stressing. He's getting a Thomas the Tank Engine potty for Christmas so hopefully that will spark some interest..but if it doesn't I'm okay with it.

I would just relax a bit. Boys definitely potty learn later than girls do...some by 1-2yrs!

 

[poohfriend77]

My first DD trained easily, but my younger DD gave me fits, too. Man, is she stubborn! As we neared her 3rd birthday, I started telling her that 3 year olds were too big for pull-ups. On the morning of her birthday, she put on a pull-up and smugly told me I was WRONG, they did still fit her when she was 3.

We just kept trying, until we found the reward she cared about. I bought a Lots to Love potty chair doll (under $15 at Wal-Mart), but she only got to make the doll go potty AFTER she did. That worked for a while, then she lost interest. She finally got a new bike after being in panties with no accidents for 10 days.

 

[LadyShea]

My son will be 3 the beginning of January and we just started potty training less than a month ago. He had zero interest ever. I had kept hoping, since he turned 2, he would want to do it (offered bribes and use the "big boys/pirates/your friends don't wear diapers" all of it) but he didn't care.

DH finally simply took his diaper off (left him naked), said "We're using the potty now" and put the potty chair in the living room on a waterproof pad. That way he could go as soon as possible while he got used to anticipating and holding it.

The first day was tough, DS kept asking for his diaper, but we just calmly said "We don't wear diapers in the daytime anymore" and took him to his potty chair. Every time he peed in the potty he got a piece of candy and we made a big to do. Several times he asked for pants or underwear, but would wet them. We told him if he wet his underwear or pants he would have to go naked for that day. After a few days he stopped wetting his pants/underwear (occasional accidents, especially when he gets sleepy).

When he went several days accident free he got a remote control Sheriff from Cars

Every day was easier and easier, and today, not even 4 weeks later, he uses the big toilet for both peeing and pooping (a potty ring seat for pooping) and has only had one accident in the last week.

You may need to do what we did, and just decide for him one day and stick to it. It was hard for me, that first day, but as easy as it has been since I am kicking myself for not doing it sooner.

 

[3boymthr]

All 3DS took forever to train, well actually they trained in two or three days just took forever to get to it . They finally trained at about age 3.5. The one thing I learned is they will train when they want to train. I tried and tried but they were just too comfortable in their diapers. I would try enticing them to the potty, didn't work. They would run and hide when they had to go then tell me they needed a change . Would have nothing to do with the potty seat. We did end up using the ring that fits in the toilet seat. If he can climb up on to the toilet it's the best thing as there's no mess to clean up after.

I did have a cousin whose son developed an allergy to the dyes/perfumes/something in disposable diapers. She had to switch to cloth with the plastic diaper cover - he trained a month later - at 15 mo. He didn't like being damp all the time.

I also had a friend's whose husband took over the pee training - taught their DS to pee on a tree. Little one thought that was nifty. Once he had that down they took it inside. Not sure how they dealt with the other...

 

[daleswife]

My DD was 3 before she was potty trained.....shes 5 now.....It took me telling her I had a baby in my tummy for her to decide to go......Now I have a 2 yr old who is interested and tells me potty potty, but once in there, I find he's already went.....and Im NOT having anymore kids.....LOL

 

[cerberus]

It is so nice to hear others stories! My DD turned 3 at the end of August and we still struggle with it! We have tried rewards like sticker, candy, games....she does good for maybe a day then back to forgetting. Our latest was telling her we would tell Mickey Mouse that she peed in her diaper, she gets upset that we have to call Mickey Mouse, but she still continues to have accidents. We have even tried putting her in underwear and she still has accidents. It is so frustrating!!!

 

[crl]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement. I knew child #2 would not be as easy as child #1 who trained herself. I appreciate the ideas and will try them until we find one that works.

 

[mjkacmom]

It is so nice to hear others stories! My DD turned 3 at the end of August and we still struggle with it! We have tried rewards like sticker, candy, games....she does good for maybe a day then back to forgetting. Our latest was telling her we would tell Mickey Mouse that she peed in her diaper, she gets upset that we have to call Mickey Mouse, but she still continues to have accidents. We have even tried putting her in underwear and she still has accidents. It is so frustrating!!!

Really, give nakey butt a shot. Underwear feel like a diaper, which she has been peeing in her entire life. Almost all people who have used this method are amazed at how fast and easy it is. What do you have to lose?

 

[crl]

Really, give nakey butt a shot. Underwear feel like a diaper, which she has been peeing in her entire life. Almost all people who have used this method are amazed at how fast and easy it is. What do you have to lose?

I'm pretty sure that's why DD trained at 19 months since she didn't like the feeling on her legs. But DS thinks it's funny to have a "fountain". All I can say is thank goodness we have wood floors and not carpet!

 

[puffkin]

I'm pretty sure that's why DD trained at 19 months since she didn't like the feeling on her legs. But DS thinks it's funny to have a "fountain". All I can say is thank goodness we have wood floors and not carpet!

Have you tried throwing some cheerios in the toilet and letting him "shoot" them?