OT: Potty training book suggestions

[LadyShea]

As I have since before he was born, I am reading and preparing for various situations well ahead of time. So, I am trying to prepare for potty training, and am once again dazzled by the array of choices.

I am a practical, logical, person (try to think around my mommy brain anyway) and lean towards attachment parenting.

The "Potty train in a single day" theory doesn't appeal to me, because I can't imagine it being very child led, or working for my kid at all for that matter.

So what worked for some of you experienced moms? My DS is almost 20 months right now, very spirited, very stubborn, and very smart. He knows what the potty is for, will sit on it in his diaper and pretend to use it, or point and say "poopie bye bye in potty" or similar for examples of where he is now.

 

[sskem96]

My kids liked "The Potty Video". I'm pretty sure that's what it's called. There's a different version for boys and girls. It's got a catchy song that they liked to dance to. DD#1 was totally trained at 21-22 mos. DD#2 took a little longer, just because she's stubborn. She was perfectly capable of using the potty, but only when she was in the mood!

 

[allyphoe]

My smart, stubborn kid decided she was never going to use the potty.

She trained herself cold turkey 2 days before preschool started (so a week or two before she turned 3), having been told that she had to be out of diapers to go to preschool. (I'd enrolled her in the young-3s class for summer, so they would take diapered kids, and kids who were still having accidents.) I sent her to school in underwear, with her having peed in the potty ~15 times in her entire life, and never ever having pooped in the potty. She had 2-3 accidents the first week, and then was trained, with absolutely no effort on my part.

Two months later, she was at a sleepover at school, and her teacher forgot to put her diaper on. She went from 3-4 diapers a night to night-trained overnight, and had fewer than ten accidents while she got that down pat - again with no effort on my part.

I probably could have pushed things earlier - we'd gone to WDW a few weeks beforehand, and she insisted on wearing underwear there. If she needed to pee, she asked for a diaper, peed, and put her underwear back on. But for my kid, IMHO pushing things would have made her more resistant. School was a good carrot for her. None of the other carrots I had were enticing enough, and she's never responded well to sticks.

(Oh, and I was sure she'd train early - she had a potty chair since she was ~15 months old, because she had all the "signs" of readiness, and was interested. We did a couple rounds of "naked day" and gave her some other opportunities to train if she were willing, and she chose not to do it.)

 

[LadyShea]

Ally, I have a feeling my DS is very like your DD. Thanks for sharing.

He just decides to do something one day, completely motivated on his own, and doesn't seem to respond to outside motivation very well. We haven't pushed him on those things he is adamant about (like preferring to be barefoot 99% of the time), because I just didn't feel they were battles worth having and he has done well with everything he has chosen to do in his own time.

Maybe he will do the same with the potty?

 

[Jack&Ryan'smom]

I think kids just do it when the are ready. I have 2 DS's. My 1st one was fully trained at 2years 7 months. It was easy & quick. And from what I hear that is early now adays for boys. Since my 1st was so easy I was terrified my second would be a terror! But the week before he turned 2 1/2...3 weeks ago...He told me he had to go potty, I put him on and he went! He goes on the potty about 6 times a day now. I have him in pullups at home and diapers when we go out. He gets it, but when he's too busy he tends to forget. I would just take cues from your child and go with it!!! Good Luck!

 

[Gillian]

Ally, I have a feeling my DS is very like your DD. Thanks for sharing.

He just decides to do something one day, completely motivated on his own, and doesn't seem to respond to outside motivation very well. We haven't pushed him on those things he is adamant about (like preferring to be barefoot 99% of the time), because I just didn't feel they were battles worth having and he has done well with everything he has chosen to do in his own time.

Maybe he will do the same with the potty?

My DD is very stubborn like that as well, but she loved the one day training! I was terribly afraid that she wouldn't train at all and I'd be out of luck for preschool. Maybe it's because she's a second child and doesn't always get the individual attention her brother did, but she was thrilled to spend all day with mom!

Actually, we did 2 4 hour mornings and then some follow up practice to correct an accident as in the book, toilet training in less than a day.

 

[LadyShea]

Thanks again all. Gillian, you have me intrigued. Maybe I will investigate the one day methods further.

 

[Windy Mountain]

Hi, LadyShae!!

I, too, lean toward AP (heavily), and I would recommend Dr. Sears' (the leading expert on Attachment Parenting) books & articles on Potty Learning.

My son didn't go to preschool till he was 4, so I didn't worry about the potty learning till he was well into his 3rd year. And he was interested in learning by that time, and presumably had the physical ability to control somewhat his internal muscles, so he did well. We did the "earn an M&M" method of reward for each time he pee'd on the potty. He was all ready for school, after working on it over the summer before preschool. He also went naked a lot that summer, which helped. He didn't like getting ANY pee on himself. Wearing undies helped, too (as opposed to pull-ups), because he could feel the uncomfortable sensation of the pee. As far as the nightime issue, I just had him wear a diaper till he was interested in trying it overnight without a diaper (which was when he noticed his cousin wore undies to bed). Since it was his idea, he did very well. He's now 6 & gettin' ready for first grade.

My daughter is 3, and is going to preschool this fall (only 2 mornings per week) so I wanted to get some potty learning done this summer. I bought her The Potty Doll, which I saw work miracles with a friend of ours. In one weekend, my daughter made MAJOR progress. The Potty Doll is at Toys R Us now. Anyway, she is "teaching her doll to go on the potty". The doll comes with a bottle for water, which you feed her a drink of water, and then she has her own little doll potty which she goes potty on (all the while my daughter is sitting on her own potty while giving her the water, and setting her on the potty -- hearing all of this water ). She gives the dolly a sticker in the dolly's sticker book (which we made), and then she uses the dolly's "wipes" and "baby powder" (all included) to clean her up afterward, praising her all the time. She "flushes" the dolly's toilet. My daughter also pee's during this time, and she gives herself a sticker in her own sticker book (which we made). I praise her all the while. Anyway, she feels like a big girl, teaching the dolly how to go potty, and has a sense of mastery. She's pretty much done. She's been sleeping with undies on, and she hasn't had accidents during the day for a couple weeks. However, I know realistically that there will be accidents. I'm just saying that using the magic of pretend, and making it part of "play", has made all the difference.

Oh, and she felt uncomfortable at first about pooping on the potty, so I just let her take the lead. Once she did it, I let her pick from the prize box I keep in my closet. So, for poop she gets a little bigger reward.

Good luck.

 

[bumbershoot]

I really REALLY liked "You Can Go to the Potty" by William and Martha Sears.

Now, DS was already working on it on his own, so one of the reasons I liked the book is that it mirrored what we were instinctively doing. And the kid in the pictures looked so much like DS (though for some reason I have a memory that it was supposed to be a girl, LOL).

DS started early, he started really showing signs of learning at 18 months (I completely thank the cloth diapers for that), but I'm a really relaxed mama, and had NO interest in forcing anything, so we bought a Bjorn potty, then another (one for upstairs, one for downstairs) and had them where he was, he had half-nekky days, he learned the sign for needing to pee... His first step was actually going through the night dry (there were occasional sudden needs to get up or there would have been an accident, so thank goodness for family bed or that woudln't have worked), which I know is opposite most kids and especially most boys.

By a year later, at 2.5, we did the final wash and put all the diapers (including the training pants) away.


Oh wait, we're supposed to talk about books, aren't we? I've trusted everything else to the Sears family, and I trusted their potty book, too, and it did right by us.