OT-NO Gift Birthday Party

[DISNEYFOS]

So heres the deal, We are planning a class birthday party at my daughters gymnastics school. Inviting all 15 kids in her Pre-K class. I'm trying to tone down the overwhelming mountain of gifts she would be receiving as well as helping classmates families from being overwhelmed by the cost of all the parties.

(For those of you feeling bad for her, She will be getting gifts from a family/friends party on her actual birthday the week before Not to mention leaving for WDW in a few days ).


I've been witness to a few No gifts parties that people end up bringing gifts anyways..so I want to avoid that.

So I'm thinking of doing a book exchange. In Lieu of gift, asking attendees on the invite to bring a wrapped book and then at the end of the party, each child gets to pick a book to take home from the basket.

Is it tacky to ask someone to bring something in lieu of a gift? Part of me feels like gifts shouldn't be expected so asking for a book is borderline rude.

and...if I'm doing this book exchange where everyone is going home with a book..can I skip the goody bags?

Thanks for your opinions.

 

[ADisneyQueen]

I think the book exchange is a good idea. I would still give maybe a little something in a goody bag. Not a bunch of junk, though.
Another idea I have heard of is to ask the kids to bring in canned food to donate to a food pantry or animal treats/toys/food for an animal shelter.

 

[Keara'sMom]

After having been to a couple of parties like this, my dd chose to ask her birthday guests to make donations to the local SPCA in her honor for her 11th b-day (instead of gifts)--or, if they didn't want to make a monetary donation, they could bring items that the SPCA could use (blankets, toys, food, etc...). The kids had fun and felt good about it, and we made sure all of them were acknowledged for their contributions. Maybe you could ask for books to donate to a local women's shelter or low-income daycare...

 

[Bren's Mom]

I think it's perfectly acceptable to specify no gifts. Since this will be foreign to people, perhaps a short note in the invite explaining your reasons and asking the parents to PLEASE comply with your request would be helpful. (i.e DD has so much, we hope you'll join us to celebrate with her and know that your presence is present enough!) Of course, some people will just ignore it. If they bring a gift, thank them and then go hide it in a room where no one will see it. Your dd can open it later and send a thank you note.

I don't know that I'd ask for books for an exchange. I'd especially not give the books to the others in lieu of goody bags. You can skip goody bags, they're nice but totally unnecessary. But I wouldn't replace them with something your guests have brought.

If you're going to ask for donations for a charity of some kind I think that's ok provided that it's worded in such a way that the guest understands that if they don't choose to give to that charity it's still their choice, you're not dictating only making a suggestion. In that case they still might choose to bring a gift.

 

[crisi]

I like the SPCA idea - most kids that age LOVE animals - if not the SPCA, a local pet rescue (which probably has fewer rules for donating 'stuff').

 

[chloe770]

I did this for my son except I didn't call the bday party a bday party. I called it " DS's big Playdate". Afew parents did asked when they RSVPed if they should bring a gift and I just explained to them that DS had plenty and we just wanted to celebrate with his friends. i think everyone liked the idea.

 

[Tumblwd501]

We've attended and hosted plenty of kid's birthday parties where everyone brought a gift for a grab bag for all the kids in lieu of gifts for the child having a birthday and everyone seems to like the idea. So no, I don't think it's tacky at all. And I don't know that anyone expects a goody bag. I know we don't think twice if there aren't goody bags at a party.

The only problem we encountered with the grab bag gift for all approach was that the first few birthday parties our son attended were like this. So when he finally attended a "traditional" birthday party were only the child with the birthday received the gifts, he wondered where his gift was! lol DOH!

 

[Benducci]

If we get invited to a birthday party, we bring a birthday gift. if something else is suggested, I will go along with that to a degree but we still bring a gift. I am not fond of the no-gift birthday party for children, especially children that young. That is what birthdays are for - adulthood and no birthday parties/gifts comes too quick. just my opinion.

 

[starann]

I'm another who suggests SPCA donatoins....the kids can bring dog/cat toys, canned or dry food, litter, blankets and then when you get bakc from WDW you and your daughter can go and drop it off, maybe even play with the animals.

My oldest has started going to the shelter 1 to 2 times a month to 'walk' dogs. Basiclly play and walks with dogs and cats so they have some human interaction. She now has been saving her $ to get them things, food, toys and blankets....I am so proud that she is taking such a liking to this charity.

If you don;t want to go the animal route, then how about stuff for Nursing home patients....there are some patients who have no family left and could use a box of good tissues, a pack of playing cards or a new game.

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

I agree that i'd word it well on the invites of why you're doing it (if people understand why they're less likely to feel awkward about turning up with no gift) We did "your presence are our presents" theme with our wedding but some people still felt happier to bring a gift.

One of my four is very big on his charitable giving (collects spare change to buy cows for the 3rd world via an unwrapped charity, does christmas shoeboxes for the needy, adopts elderly people... he's 5, he has ASD and one of his "things" is charity and caring for people.) and in the past he's put donations/sponsorships on his christmas and birthday lists and people do raise eyebrows.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

With my oldest DD (she will be 14 in a few days), we tried the no gift thing one year. We did it because we had been invited to so many parites and so many moms were saying how tired of the parties/gift buying they were. So, I figured, my daughter had so much let's give this a try. Once was enough for 2 reasons.
One, it didn't work. Only ONE KID out of all of them didn't bring a present and he felt awful!!! He was upset the whole party.
And two, even though it didn't work, I thought about it after and kids are only little so long, why not let them enjoy it. I don't think they need big, expensive gifts, (believe me I think kids parties/gifts are getting out of hand, but that's another topic) but it is fun to open all the treasures your friends picked out for you. I know when my kids play with any of their toys they can tell you who got it for them and for what occasion.
Just my thoughts, you have to do what works for your family. But if you do no gifts, maybe remind each parent when they RSVP so you don't get that single kid with no gift like I did.

 

[DISNEYFOS]

Thank you guys. I appreciate the feedback.

SPCA is a good idea...Maybe because its so close to Thanksgiving as well (and with the economy in the dumps) I'm thinking items for local food pantry?

 

[crisi]

Thank you guys. I appreciate the feedback.

SPCA is a good idea...Maybe because its so close to Thanksgiving as well (and with the economy in the dumps) I'm thinking items for local food pantry?

Food isn't as cool for the Pre-K set as doggie stuff.....

 

[ADisneyQueen]

When my Girl Scout troop was in Kindergarten, they donated stuff to the animal shelter and the girls were really excited about it.

 

[Miss LD]

Someone in DS' old daycare had a party and asked everyone to bring a book for the daycare. It was pretty cool because the daycare can always use new books.
This same party they gave each child a helium balloon with a cookie attached.

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

I love the helium balloon and cookie idea! I might use that for DD & DS's party in march (only 358 days apart in age so we do a join party one weekend and a family party the next- this year they both just moved school and we're planning a pirate and princess party!)

 

[JillCT]

We just did a book exchange. I said something like:

No gifts please, instead we'll be having a book exchange. If you would like to participate please bring a new, wrapped book....or something to that effect.

It was a HUGE hit. I received so many comments from parents, even parents outside of my DD's kind. classroom that heard about it from other parents. Several people told me that they are planning to do this as well. The kids seemed pretty excited at the party to get to open a gift.

We did receive two gifts from the almost 20 people there--a book that they brought in addition to the book exchange.

Edited to add that we stuck in a couple extra books--two or three kids didn't bring a book but went home with one anyway.

 

[StitchFanZ]

At my DDs lasts birthday, she wanted no gifts. We let guests know that if they wanted to bring something, a creative homemade card would be fun and cherished.

 

[Tam1067]

I think a book exchange is a great idea.

Also, if you want to donate books or help the less fortunate, a wonderful organization is Reach Out and Read. They take new or gently used children's books geared for ages five and under, and provide them to doctors in offices and clinics serving low in come children. When the kids visit the doctor for a regular check-up, they get to take a book home. Kids who usually have no books at home get some.

I am an advisor for an international honor society of college students, and this is the absolute favorite community service we do. My students (who are adults as young as 18 and as old as their mid-sixties) have a blast and really do feel good helping in this way because it shows the value of literacy.

They will give you a clinic in your area with which you can work, and your daughter could even go over there and donate the books--this is a nice feeling.

Here's their website http://www.reachoutandread.org/

 

[JackJack08]

Sorry I didn't read all the posts...... but my daughter had a humane society party this summer. Kids had the option of what to bring (from a list I gave) or nothing at all if they didn't want or anything they thought the HS could use. She got tons of stuff and was so proud to go donate it. The best part was a lot of the items on the list are things that you have around the house. Towels, old blankets etc.... She even got her picture and a write up in the paper!!