OT: need to vent...its long.

[NemoMom07]

my own husband can not even be by my side on this issue and that makes it even worse.

First to start... 10 days okay my son got severely bitten by my neighbors dog, who happens to be my BIL/SIL family. This dog a year ago got lose and attacked my two yorkies almost killing one of them. I did not report the attack, because it was family and they paid the bill.

I was not home when this happened,but my husband told me that he and my son(20mnths old) were outside playing. His brother was in his yard(wired fenced) and spoke to my son. My son just kept playing. Well when he started walking away my son said "bye bye". So my husband yells at his brother that Noah said bye bye. So the brother comes back over to the fence and ask Noah if he wants to pet their dog (German Shepard). So he goes over to the fence. My husband is sitting on a tree stump. Our properities share a driveway. As his brother reaches over the side of the fence to pick up my son, my husband tells him to be careful because his dog acts funny. At that moment the dog attackes my son while in the owners arms.

In the long run my son had a two inch long slice along his calf that went down to his muscle sheath. He is okay with the extent it was and it could of been awhole lot worse.

The BIL/MIL I could tell were very hurt and sorry for what happened. They immediatley surrendered the dog to be put down after the 10 days. Today I got a call from animal control that it passed quarentine and the owners were not putting the dog down. I found out that they are letting my SIL mother take it. I am so hurt and disgusted at this. How can they feel so horriable and say they care so much for my son, but allow that dog who did this to him live. There is a chance that it will get lose(as it always did) and find its way back here. To me it is giving me the message that the dog means more than my son's life or what it did to him. They have kids and over the 10 days decided to give it to her mom because they were crying over the dog. They never did anything with this dog. It was bought soley for the protection of their "stuff". I never had a problem with it, even with all the times it got lose, when it attacked my dogs and thought they were going to put up electric fencing, and I let this instance go when they were going to put the dog to sleep.

They say it will never be back at their house. I have a hard time believing this at all. They said they would have electric fencing....not, they said they were going to keep it locked up in a serated pen during the day...not, they said they were going to let the dog go....not.

This dog in my state(NC) has more rights than my son. That can not deam this dog dangerous because it happened on its property. But if they decided they can concerned what happened to my dogs on my property then they can deam it dangerous... yet it can be appealed to like three or four levels or court. However it is okay that my son, with not provocation of this dog, got severely injured and there is no justice in it at all.

My husband is okay with it as long as the dog is not back here. How can he not stand by my side and stand for what is right with what happened to our son. There is a very good probabliity that this dog will be back with all their broken promises of the past. This is my vent... how can he be okay with it. I know we can do nothing about it, but how can he not be upset that his own son had to go through sooo much pain and suffering and this dog still gets to live. It has attacked twice now and it will attack again... matter of time. I am just so distraught with this and feel that my son's life is less than this dogs. He has not slept through the night since this has happened.

Anyway thanks for letting me vent, because my own husband will not even let me or stand by me or for my son.

 

[PrincessNancy96]

Big hugs to you hon!!!

I understand where you are coming from.. MY kids are afraid of dogs..with the exception of our neighbors indoor dog... (my kids riding him when they were little sent him scrattering when he sees them at the door now) but anyway, I would have expected they would have put the dog down considering..

I would assume that they will be paying for DS's medical bills...and regardless of whether he, the dog, is at their house or not..why are they willing to allow their children or even another person/animal be attacked by this dog given it's track record...

How did your DH react when he heard your sons cry for help? I would have pounced on that dog and probably strangled it... Your poor DS.... lots of hugs to him..

Again, I am so sorry this happened.. family or not.. I'd be mad as he)) at them right now...there would be no civil conversations for a while because my child was hurt.. my DH has to be the diplomat during these type of incidents....

 

[KatDisney]

I am so sorry this has happened to you! Your poor baby. As a mom I like you would be outraged. If you feel strongly about taking action against the Dog I would do it. This dog would be considered under any State law A “dangerous dog”

I was looking around and it appears that NC does not have a Dog Bite Statute. but I would demand that they put the dog down. I don't care who it belongs to.

Your DH should be ashamed of himself sticking up for the dog and the relatives . As parents it is our responsibility to protect our children No matter the cost!

My DH and I had a dog once who hated Children which we did not know at the time we adopted him. He was the brother of my Dog Charlie. One evening my husband and I were in the backyard with Toby. DH and I were standing at the farthest away corner from our back door with the dog.Our youngest daughter came out to say goodnight. Toby was across the yard so fast ready to attack her before we could even blink. She screamed and slammed the door shut in his face. The next day he went back to the pound.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. My DH even agrees with me the dog needs to be put down. Don't get me wrong I love dogs alot but I would never tolerate a dog that attacks anyone especially a baby in the owners arms!

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

hugs sweetie. I, as a mom, have to side with you. We put our dog down 3 years ago because he was in so much pain (hip issues and epilepsy) he would snap and growl at me. It got to the point that he couldn't walk up the stairs and his legs would give out. When I went to help him, he tried to bite me. I was so afraid that he was going to bite one of the boys and DH was gone so much for work. I couldn't leave the dog alone with the kids.

What was your husbands reaction at the time of the attack? Was he mad, scared, PO'ed? I agree with Nancy, I probably would have killed the dog myself. It sounds like your DH is playing it down because it's family.

Have you considered putting up a wooden fence around your yard to keep your son safe? I'd have a 10 foot high fence, I don't care if my neighbor is the Pope. An electric fence or invisible fencing is just a deterrent, it won't stop an animal on the hunt from crossing the border.

I hate to be mean but have you considered legal action against your BIL for medical treatment? As for the dog and it's legal rights, I'm not sure what to tell you. Research, research, research. There has to be some kind of loop hole, restraining order against the dog, something.

 

[Lisa]

I see the mama bear coming out protecting her own, and rightfully so. As much as I like dogs, I would have wanted to strangle the dog too. I'm sure your husband is concerned over the pain your son endured. Could it be that he feels if the dog isn't around, out of sight out of mind. Sometimes men think like that.

Have you asked the dog warden what will or should happen if and when the dog returns to their house?

PD to your son, hopefully this won't scar him for life over dogs. Dogs, including shephards, if they are treated right would never bite a child. There is something odd that this dog would bit unprovoked. I am surprised your BIL and SIL felt comfortable with him around any children.

Speedy recovery to your son and his wound. That sounds nasty.

 

[Raenstoirm]

I completely feel for you. I have been in your position, well in your son's that is. When i was about his age, my mom and I took a walk in my neighborhood down the sidewalk. Out of no where this pit bull came charging at us and mauled me. Riped my face open, the whole thing. As it was a nice spring day, neighbors saw what was happening and came over to help. After the dog was subdued, while waiting for the ambulance, as the story goes, my face was pretty much gushing blood, I tell my mom in my two year old logic, "Mommy that's a bad dog!" Pipen (yes I still remember his name) was not put down and I am very glad for that.
To me, it is not a dog's fault it attacks and it should not be punished for it. However, the owners (family or not) are responsible for the animals actions and after their dog attacked your dog, they should have offered to re home him immediately. I don't want to get into your family business, but perhaps living next to people who don't respect your animals (let alone your baby) and in turn, you, is not the best choice. Honestly moving across town might be an option. If you cant trust family to protect your child then who can you trust?

Hugs to your little guy and incidentally if you don't make a big deal of the issue (to him) he will not fear dogs. Perhaps find a Shepard rescue and show him that not all dogs that look this way bite. Despite my "run-in" with a pit bull, they are still one of my favorite breeds. Not that I would own one because of the stigma, but that is another issue entirely.

 

[eatatmidnight]

I am so sorry that this happened to your family. I have no advice, but feel your pain. A few years ago, in our old neighborhood, our son was attacked by a dog. My dh was cleaning out their gutters because it was a single mom with girls. When my ds came home from a friends, the homeowners dd's dog got out of the back yard (which was fenced with a gate) and bit my son many times on his legs. The dog had no vaccine tags and was not registered in the county. Long story short, the dd was a vet student and assured animal control he had his shots and was a good dog. She said my youngest ds had opened the gate and let the dog out. (Actually, he was in the house with the owner. She watched him while dh and I worked in her yard.) Animal control did nothing. The neighbors did not pay any of our medical bills and never offered.

You are right in wanting the dog to be "put down". He will do it again if given the chance.

 

[Honeybehr1]

I am so sorry this has happened. Your Dh should be ashamed for not stepping up and protecting his son against this dog regardless if its family or not. Sounds like he is trying to not cause waves in the family at the expense of his child. The dog should be put down. What if it happens again (sounds like it will given his history) and what if its a child face next time.

My parents bred, raised and showed dogs all through out my childhood. One time, one of the dogs cornered me and my mom in the corner of a room for no reason at all. He was snarling and trying to bite us. We had to scream for my father to wake up and help us. If the dog had been provocted or by no means his fault than it would have been understandable. But even after my Dad had gotten him away from us, he continued to be extrememly aggressive. My Dad put him down. He would not take the chance of this happening when he wasnt home to help or if he did happen to bite one of us or passing along an aggressive gene on like that. It was extrmemly hard for me because this dog was mine. But I totally see where my father was coming from. This dog just snapped.

 

[NemoMom07]

Thanks everyone for making me feel I am not in the wrong feeling this way.
My DH was there when this happened. He rushed and jumped the fence to get to our DS. He was so worried about him that he did not do anything with the dog and rightfully so. I would rather him take DS.

He was highly upset and when we found out that they handed the dog over to animal control and to be put down we were both relieved and that the incident was over.

Now with it days over it is not fresh in his mind. He was not in the room while our DS was screaming with so much pain being stitched up. He could not handle it. Now he can not handle how I am feeling. It is so wrong for them to keep that dog alive. If that dog waited one more second my DS would have been at the level of the dog and who knows what would have happened.

This is not my family. Family does not do this to one another. If it was reversed I would never to this to them.

Thanks again. And my DS is going to be okay. He does not sleep through the night anymore and will not sleep alone. He is okay with our dogs and he saw big dogs at the park and he was saying "doggie".

I just do not know what to do. I feel abonded. I have no family out here. I can only email mine. I never wanted to move out here in the first place. I did it for my DH. With the market so bad we would lose so much. He is never here.. he is an OTR truck driver so he never has to deal with anything, but the road.

 

[PrincessNancy96]

again..

Well, I'm glad to hear DH responded.. I assumed he did..but wanted to hear from you he did.. if not we would have had to consider having your hit him with a skillet over the head to wake him up..

I'm sorry he wasn't in the room w/ DS when he was at the hospital.. I would have made him be there...but men are so different... It's funny how women have to put away all their squimish (spell) fears when there kids are hurt... Most things don't bother me...(but let my kids wiggle their teeth and I have to head for the hills).... Anyway, I'm sorry he is not sleeping through the night... hopefully, he will get settled down and start doing that again soon... Maybe this weekend you could take him out and buy him a new stuffed animal to sleep with.. DS7 was sick..but DH bought him a stuffed animal home when he was so sick a few weeks ago and he sleeps with it every night...

I would definitely document this..and if while your DH is on the road..that dog comes back, I would contact animal control... there would be no way in he## I'd let the dog any where near me or my son again..

If I were closer, I'd come visit and we'd go do lunch and the park or something...

 

[clower5luvzdiz]

NemoMom...

Wow, what a harrowing story... I am glad your young son is okay. And you say this is your husband's family??? And they live next door???

How about one night when you have gotten some of your crying out you propose a "date night" after the kids have gone to bed (or use this to teach the kids that when mom and dad have a date nite they have to be part of the family and kit the rack on time as a help to the family... we have done this for several years now after we almost "divorced" and our date nites have saved our family... and our kids see the positives now that they are older and it is great!)

Okay, so you have a date nite planned that works for everyone... mark it on the calendar in a heart or something really corny from your dating days... your husband is the head of the house and needs to feel that you support his decision... however... as they said the "my big fat greek wedding" The man is the head of the house but the wife controls the neck and what the man sees to deal with... something like that....

So now the kids are tucked in and you thanked them for being a part of the family and letting mommy and daddy have a special nite (we do this once a month or so).... we snuggle on the couch for 30 minutes to make sure all are asleep then take a bath together... or if you don't have a hot tub... find some other way to have great time together by putting on a CD from your wedding or a favorite song when you were dating... help HIM remember that he promised to honor you... in a subtle way. Men are from Venus and do not always agree with or understand our girlie Mars language remember.

Make sure you are touching... talk about his day, share your day, talk about a future vacation or some other positive family thing coming up... or a couples weekend you may have planned... but something that requires dreaming of your family together.... maybe you will plan a vacation or start brainstorming ideas for your next Disney trip! Whatever... let some time pass just hanging out.. touching (that is what we LOVE about our hottub in our bathroom... the door is closed and music is playing and we are skin to skin communicating about everything and nothing... then.... when he is relaxed and playing along.... ask him..."so why is it not a big deal to you that.... name of the dog.... (use the name as that family sees this dog as a family member even if the rest of us here on the board want to help you put him down)... bit our son... is there part of the story I am missing? I understand their kids are close to the dog but I don't understand why they are not concerned that one of their kids could be next"... then be quiet and attentive....keep touching and LISTEN!

If you are like me when I get my fur up I can't listen for anything.... that is why this is not something to plan tonite... but a goal to reach for when you can put on your mask of calmness and listen to what he says...

Your reaction to his response will decide how the rest of the night goes.... if he has been properly relaxed and opened up. I have found this works quite well for many couples and helps foster communication on other topics like disagreements with child rearing issues that come up as they grow up.

It will also show your DH that you love and respect him... guys need that just like we need to feel spoiled like a princess sometimes.... hehehe

Hope this loooong email helps... but I couldn't help but reach my heart out to you and your situatation as a pediatric nurse that has seen many a dog bite.

Take care and God Bless you!

 

[mommy2mrb]

Hope you little guy is mending!

I babysat for a family when I was a teenager who had 4 boys, there dog (who they got as a puppy when DS #1 was 7 months old) it cornered DS #3 when DS was about 16 months and bit his face, luckily only very minor damage, but they put the dog down immediately. Why would your DH family want to take such a chance keeping the down around.

If it was me, I wouldn't take my child any where near that dog EVER!

Good luck with everything, just keep being the great mommy you are!!!

 

[TPCShauna]

My dad was a German Shepherd breeder and we fortunately never experienced an aggressive shepherd. That being said, if we did, my dad would not hesitate to have the dog put down. Unfortunately, aggression only gets worse in dogs as it becomes learned behavior.

Call the animal shelter and the sheriff and find out what your rights are. Even if you don't have a bite law, the sheriff might have some insight into what your options are if the dog magically reappears at BIL's house.

to you and your little guy. I'm so sorry this happened.

 

[NemoMom07]

Well this day (crappy like all week) is finally over. boy oh boy did my DH and I have it out. His dad (who is across the street) did call me and actually talked and listened to me. He understood where I was coming from. That is all I ever wanted from my DH. He still does not get it. He still has not really aknowledge how upset I am, he even said he does not understand why I feel this way. We did talk a little after things calmed down.

I also heard from animal control and the head guy who decides if a dog can be claimed "dangerous" said he would consider the attack on my dogs over a year ago. So they are coming to my house Monday and I will have the vet records they need for this. It will not put the dog down, but it will make it have a microchip, so if or should I say when it does attack again animal control will know this dog. This is all I can do for know with our "laws" in the state of NC or my county whoever sets this up. This dog as more rights than I do.

I feel like I want some justice for my son for what he did and is going through with not sleeping well. I will do the above and let it lay. I just keep remembering the saying "what comes around goes around". And hopefully me filing a complaint on this dog may safe someone else or help them get the justice they deserve if this dog attacks again.

With all that I want to say thanks for all the support. It really does make things better for me to know I am not the wrongful person. I live out here with all his family and mine are in TN. I really have no one I can lean on. All my friends are back in TN. So I felt pretty lonely with all of this going on. The advice is helpful.

Nancy I would love to have a nice relaxing time with others, so thanks for offering even if we are far apart. And to clower5luvzdiz that was a good suggestion. I think I may try something of the sort, but I will wait till I cool my heels for a little while so it is not so fresh.

Oh yeah they were going to pay for the medical bills ,but my DS is totally covered so basically they are none. I wish I could call up the state and let them know and they could go after them. I do not know if state run plans do that kinda of thing?

 

[Goofysmate]

 

[New England Eeyore]

What a scary ordeal! I'm so sorry you had to go through that! I completely understand your feelings and frustrations. Big hugs to you and your little one!

 

[WDWPirate]

Big hugs to you and your little one!

My son was also attacked by a dog when he was about 2 1/2. A friend of mine had just adopted a baby and I had gone to see her and the baby and her dog, out of no where, just lept at my son and scratched his face up pretty bad. Thank goodness it was a little dog and he didn't do too much damage before I got to my son. I was really freaked out and so was my friend but she never did anything about the dog and she had a newborn in the house! I know some people think of their pets as a member of the family but when you elevate a dog to the level of your own children, you need to take a major step back. Needless to say, we did not visit my friend again at her house. I think if I did, I would have taken care of that little yippy dog myself when she wasn't looking! (OK - I probably wouldn't have but I sure wanted to!)

Bottom line...that dog should be put down before it is allowed to attack again. I am sorry your DH is not being helpful in this situation. Sometimes it comes down to us Moms to take the stand.

I hope your son overcomes his fears and is able to sleep through the night again. My son (now almost 8) finally forgot about the incident but not for a long time. He kept saying that my friend had a bad doggie.

Beth

 

[LindaBabe]

HUgs to you and your baby.

Grandma here, thinks that since your hubby is an otr driver, he can just as easily be based in Tennessee as where ever it is you are, so that you can be by YOUR support system while he is on the road. You might want to work toward that end.