OT: need some Dis advice...

[alebisi]

hi guys, so I need some advice, this the problem about 9 months ago Me and my boyfriend broke up, I was devastated we didn't even talk to each other, 3 weeks ago he suddenly talk to me in MSN chat and out of nothing started talking about his problems and what he was going through, he went to a psichiatric hospital and know he is given some anti depression pills... and now he is in treatment. I was really saded by this, he have had some problems at home and also the fact of not finishing high school really shocked him. After this "talk" I thought things would change between us... but I don't know he is really weird when we went out with other friends he hasn't even talked to me... sometimes he talks to me (always through chat) and can make my patience dissapear, I mean I know he is passing rough times but sometimes he can be really mean to me and I DO still have feelings for him.
I do have problems myself and he knows it, I'm dealing an addiction of someone in my family, this relative doesn't want to admit he has an addiction, so my patience isn't the greatest.
I don't know how to deal with someone with depression, sometimes I want to ask him if he would like to go out (as friends), but I'm afraid of his reaction, one day he's nice the other he hates me. Any advices?? I want to give him support but I don't know really how to.. any of you have dealt with this?? please help

 

[Jacksmom99]

Honestly, I would stay clear of him. It's not the depression issue that I'm concerned about. That can be managed with treatment, however, he is playing with your feelings. Whether it's a manifestation of the depression or not, he is not stable right now, and you are being manipulated by him. For your own mental health, don't get sucked into his issues. Obviously you still have feelings for him, and want to help. You are not the best person to help him. He needs someone objective, who's feelings he can't manipulate. I don't mean to sound harsh, it hurts to see someone we care about in any kind of pain. However, you need to take are of yourself. Bottom line is he is NOT treating you well, and you don't deserve that kind of treatment. As tough is it may be, I would tell him the next time he contacts you that he should talk to a professional about his problems and not you, and be firm about it.

Take care of yourself!
Kim

 

[klam_chowder]

Honestly, I would stay clear of him. It's not the depression issue that I'm concerned about. That can be managed with treatment, however, he is playing with your feelings. Whether it's a manifestation of the depression or not, he is not stable right now, and you are being manipulated by him. For your own mental health, don't get sucked into his issues. Obviously you still have feelings for him, and want to help. You are not the best person to help him. He needs someone objective, who's feelings he can't manipulate. I don't mean to sound harsh, it hurts to see someone we care about in any kind of pain. However, you need to take are of yourself. Bottom line is he is NOT treating you well, and you don't deserve that kind of treatment. As tough is it may be, I would tell him the next time he contacts you that he should talk to a professional about his problems and not you, and be firm about it.

Take care of yourself!
Kim

Perfectly said! ITA

alebisi, take care of yourself and feel free to post or vent here anytime

cheers,

 

[alebisi]

thanks guys,... I'm passing some dark times.. I am managing to stay away from him for now, but you know it's hard, thanks for the support I really needed it