OT - Looking for Pacifier Withdraw Support Group (LONG POST)

[tspann]

My daughter turned four this past month. She has used a pacifier from day 1. She calls it her "giggy". It became her "comfort item" early on. We've been working towards getting rid of it for almost a year.

She had to stop using the giggy at the daycare at a year old but as a consequence she also stopped napping at "school". I continued to let her have it at home, in the car, ect. She was so attached to the thing!

Last year sometime we came up with an idea to trade her "giggys" for a new, special, blanket. We packed up all the "giggys" we could find, took them all out to Burlington Coat Factory and "traded" them for a new blanket she picked out. Let me tell you we had the most uncooperative cashier that afternoon – she kept telling us she couldn’t take the baggy of “giggys”. I stood there saying quietly, under my breath, “just throw them away after we walk away” while loudly and clearly saying to Airen “This nice lady will give your old “giggys” to a new baby to use. Isn’t that nice of her?” But the cashier just didn’t get it – to the point Airen asked after we were in the car if she (the cashier) would really give her “giggys” to a new baby.

Anyway, that night at bedtime I reminded her when she requested her “giggy” that we had given them all away. She suddenly sits up and says “no Mom I know where one is” then runs off to Great-Grandma’s room coming back with a “giggy”. Apparently Great-Grandma had one hidden in a dresser drawer. I told her that the “Giggy Lady” would come get it to which she announced “I’ll just have to hide it from her then”. And that is just what she did – every morning she would hide it in Great-Grandma’s pocket and only ask for it at bedtime. Now I know I should have made this last “giggy” disappear right then but I just couldn’t make myself do it.

For the last several months we have reminded Airen that when she turns 4 she will have to give up her one last “giggy” and she agreed. Well her 4th birthday came and went (July 12th). I was super busy and it kind of slipped my mind until she saw the dentist last week. He pointed out that her continued “giggy” use had pushed her front teeth out of alignment. On the way home I asked her what the “Giggy Lady” could bring her and trade for her one last “giggy”. She told me she would give the “Giggy Lady” her one last "giggy" if she would give her a FunShine Bear (yellow CareBear) and I told her that was a wonderful idea and I would call the “Giggy Lady” and tell her this.

Well as it turns out the “Giggy Lady” had to wait until mom (me) got paid to get the bear and come to our house. So anyway, yesterday while Airen was at “school” I went out and bought FunShine Bear, took him home and reminded Great-Grandma that Airen was not get the “giggy” again. I wanted to throw it away but Great-Grandma wouldn’t let me saying that since it had been such a “lovely” to Airen I should put it in her Baby Box the same way I kept her first outfit, first paid of shoes, ect. so I told her to hide it somewhere that Airen would NEVER find it and she did.

Yesterday evening when Airen came home from “school” Great-Grandma called Airen into the living room and told her that the “Giggy Lady” had come while she was at "school" and took her last “giggy” but that she had left her a present. Airen was delighted with her new bear and played with it all evening. Bedtime came and she asked Great-Grandma for her “giggy” but we pointed out that we didn’t have it anymore. Airen even doubled checked Great-Grandma’s pocket and dresser drawer to be sure it was really gone. When she could not find it she begrudgingly went to bed without it. She fussed a little before falling asleep but did go to sleep. Now here I was thinking “this is just too easy”.

WELLLL, at 2am this morning she woke up looking for her “giggy”. I reminded her that it was gone and she went busurk! She cried, kicked and screamed until she had the whole house awake and probley the neighbors also. She wouldn’t let me or Great-Grandma anywhere near her. She ended up going and getting in bed with my mom (her Grandma) at about 3:30am where she continued to fuss and cry until 6am this morning when she finally fell back to sleep out of pure exhaustion.

I let her stay home today from “school” with the grandmas since she had such a rough night. I called a little while ago to see how she was doing and she got on the phone and told me to go buy her another “giggy” at Wal-Mart before I come home tonight. I told her I couldn’t because I didn’t have any money to which she told me I could use her birthday money to buy one. I told her I couldn’t do that so she just handed the phone back to Great-Grandma.

So I guess what Airen and I both need is a support group who is available from 2am to 6am because I have a feeling that tonight is going to be just as bad. Thank goodness tomorrow is Saturday!

 

[IWISHFORDISNEY]

My son was just like that but I just took it away. For 2 nights he didnt sleep well and for a month he still sucked but on nothing. It really was not as bad as I thought it would be and after a week he stopped asking for it. He did however curse out the baby reindeer in the mall that I gave his "binky" too. Be strong just keep it thrown out.

 

[Stephaniecmc]

Trust me, it will get better. This too shall pass for you. We went through this last year with our DS who will be 4 in a few weeks. He called it is nonie, which he loved dearly, had 5 of them but really only wanted that one special one. I still have the one special one because as a mom I can't bear to throw it away. He'll never want it back because he learned that they are for babies. Tonight just stay strong and you'll get through this!

Let us know how it goes,

Stephanie

 

[DVCsince02]

I agree, stay strong and try to distract her. It should only last a few days.

At least you can throw/give away your giggys. My son uses his fingers! UGH

 

[sjbvan]

My DD had the same issue with her "paci". She refused to give it up and would hide them around the house and we would walk in her room at night and she would have one in her mouth! We started cutting them down from the top so she wouldn't be able to get that suction comfort on them. She decided then and there that she didn't want her pacifier anymore and we had no sleepless nights from then on. But that is my DD personality...I tell everyone I went through six months of trying to get her potty trained, one day she got up told me she had decided that she wanted to wear underwear all the time and was going to use the potty all the time...and she did! Never had an accident from then on...even at night. She is my little stubborn Tinkerbell!

 

[berlymama2]

My DS age 2 is also a binkie lover. He now only uses it for nap and bedtime. Some friends said they made it disappear by having their children "donate it" to Santa for needy kids etc....so we thought we'd try our own worthy cause at home- we had him convinced that his brother needed it since he is a baby. He put it in his crib for him no problem...but woke almost every hour screaming for it so we gave in (with a newborn already keeping us up we had to pick our battles!)

 

[ms*mountaineer]

Hang in there! It will get better.

My DD will be 7 in September and hasn't been able to shake the thumb-sucking habit. The dentist will be installing a "corrective device" soon. We've had a lot of crying so far - and will be looking at more. You don't want to end up where I am!

Think of it this way - if someone told you you HAD to stop sleeping with a pillow. The first few nights you would have trouble getting to sleep (although you may not cry like a 4 yr old ) It would take you several nights to get used to it. Your DD is no different - it will take some time to get used to things. It will get better.

 

[daneenm]

Agree with all of these points. I always go with the three day rule. It typically takes my children three days to get into a new routine (or break an old one). Hang tough...every time you give in the three days starts all over again.

It will get easier!
Daneen

 

[tspann]

To make tonight even more interesting Airen now has spots all over body. She says they don't itch and she doesn't have a fever but she did get her MMR and Chickenpox immunizations Wednesday - makes me wonder. I just called the pediatrician's office and doctor on call (not ours) said not to worry about them unless she develops a fever.

 

[Mrs. M. Mouse]

You have my sympathy! If anyone has any ideas on how to stop a 4 year old from Sucking her thumb that would be great cause I can't hide her hand from her!

dd1 was so much easier. we left her "sucky" at the babysitters one day before our holidays and we never got her a new one. she survived without it. dd2 never took a sucky but took to her thumb really well! darn it anyhow! now I am at a loss on what to do.

tspann: As a nurse in a family practice agree with the office you called about the spots. there is nothing to worry about unless there is a fever attached to it.

 

[jamieT]

The little boy I watch was allowed to have it everywhere he wanted it for the first four years of his life. He now has a lot of problems with speech. He still talks like he has a pacifier in his mouth the way he has his toungue half out of his mouth like he is hanging onto a pacifier. It makes me feel sad that people think they are helping kids by letting them have these things for so long. He is an extremely bright, but it is near impossible to understand him. His sister is just as bright, is 2 yrs younger, never took a pacifier, and speaks ten times as clearly. To anyone who's child is still taking a pacifier please listen to me. I spoke to his speech pathologist who told me most of the kids she sees with his problem have it because they used a pacifier too long. There truley are no redeeming qualites in pacifiers other than it keeps your kid quiet. I know it's a comfort item, but it can do so much damage to their teeth and speech. Now please know I have also known kids that just got lucky and took a paci too long and are fine.

Now to the OP, This is in no way a judgement on you as a parent You are probably a terrific mom and I commend you for trying to stick to it. The worst thing you can do right now is give it to her. You will have to go through the withdrawl all over again. She will be ok.

Please don't flame me I am not judging anyone who lets their kid have a pacifier, ( I got lucky neither of my kids would have anything to do with them.)
It is just a shared experience to save your child from a similar experience. This poor little guy is so bright and he gets so frustrated because he knows what he is saying, but what he hears in his head and what comes out of his mouth is lightyears apart. It takes him several attempts to get us to understand him. Also his Dr. has said it is not a defect or genetic it is purely from the overuse of the pacifier. Good luck! I hope the next few nights are easier!!!! I just hope great grandma doesn't sabotage your efforts!
It's so hard for them to say no to their grandbabies when they are acting so pitiful isn't it?

 

[YellowMickeyPonchos]

I took us 2 or 3 nights of fussing at bedtime when we weaned our 3 yr old from it (she's been binky-freefor 9 months now ). We basically told her it was going away and stuck to our guns. Remember that they say it takes 21 days for an adult to change their habits. Kids are much more adaptable. It may seem like forever, but it's a small bit of time in the long run. You'll all be happier for it!

One down and one to go! Good luck and write if you need it!
Nancy

 

[aGoofyMom]

Hang in there with her - you both can do this and it will be soooo worth it. When DD was 6 months old she got a nasty rash under where her "giggy" usually sat. She fussed & was miserable that we took it away but she did get over it. She never really noticed the rash either so it wasn't as if that mattered to her...

Once we got through that and the rash cleared, my Mom asked why I hadn't given it back to her. I gave her that "you must have 2 heads" look and simply announced we weren't going through all that again!

 

[tspann]

Well last night went much better. She woke up a couple times but didn't freak out either time. I am so proud of her!

Her spots had multiplied by this morning so I took her out to Methodist MedPointe in Morton (a walk in clinic) and the doctor desided that she has hives from one of the immunization Wednesday. She said as long as she doesn't swell or have trouble breathing just to give her Benadryl every 4-6 hours. She said she would have the pediatrician call me on Monday.

I specifically asked if she was contagious since I planned on going to the Kids' Day Fair out at the new Grand Prairie Mall hosted by her daycare/preschool and the doctor said that was fine, again just watch for swelling or trouble breathing.

Thanks for all your support!

 

[PrincessBelle39]

Agree with all of these points. I always go with the three day rule. It typically takes my children three days to get into a new routine (or break an old one). Hang tough...every time you give in the three days starts all over again.

It will get easier!
Daneen

I was going to say the same thing.

 

[tinkbutt]

I agree stay strong and don't buckle to a moment of weakness....just remember a couple of weeks of interrupted sleep is better than having to pay for braces or any other dental corrective measure!!!

we are here for ya!!!

 

[Jubilee]

Since your daughter is 4, I would continue to go with rationalizing mixed with bribery

Seriously though, I don't think there's anything wrong with "rewarding" her with the milestone of letting the paci go and I think you should stick with your guns. When people try to wean a 1 year old, they don't understand rationalization. If it were my 4 year old I would explain a couple of the reasons why it's time to give it up, etc. Stick to your guns mama!

 

[tspann]

Well night #3 went fine also. I don't know if that is because of the hives or she has gotten over the "giggy".

What I mean is I have been giving her Benadryl every 4-6 hours for the hives and Tylenol at bedtime per doctor's orders and there is a voice in the back of my head saying once she is off the medicines we will be back at square one.

Well for now I've decided to think positively and believe we are over the worst part.

 

[PEANUT1]

congrats....My 22 month old is really attatched to her "B" as she calls it. She wants it all day long. I try to have her only have it for naps/bed but cave sometimes.

My 4 year old gave her binky up at 23 months. I cut all of them in the middle and she just kept telling me her binks were broken and so we put them in the trash. I plan on weaning the almost 2 year old after her birthday.

 

[newtodis]

Sounds like things are going well with the giggy!! That's great!

My DS4 wanted nothing to do with a nuk which we were thankful for. On the other hand, he's allergic to everything under the sun, so we're very familiar with the hives and Benedryl routine.

DS1 was more interested in the nuk while he was teething. He'll find on occasionaly and chew on it for a couple of days. Luckily we never really had too many problems getting them away. He did though, get the chicken pox from his vaccine-what fun that was!!

Keep up with everything - both bridbery and reasoning. Maybe point out other kids that you see out with similar giggies (if it's not going to cause hysteria!) and mention something about them getting your child's and how happy they are.