OT: Getting it all done?

[QVCshopper]

I was hoping for some tips on getting it all done--chores, work, childcare, etc. I am a full-time stay-at-home mom (DD4 and DS3) who also works 2/3-time (25 hours/week) at night from home. I prioritize my time fairly well, but could do better, I'm sure. I am usually caught up with laundry and my house is fairly clean (at least picked up).

I do all of the regular mom stuff as well as the majority of the housework (laundry, food shopping, cleaning, cooking). Oftentimes, I am up til 2 a.m., only to be back up with the kids around 8 a.m. I think it's starting to wear on me. And I ALWAYS feel rushed.

My husband is great--caring for the kids while I work at night and helping with the household chores. I just feel like we never get ahead.

Plus, the kids are starting preschool in a few weeks; since they are 1 year apart, I have to take DD on Mon, Wed, & Fri and DS on Tues & Thur. So, everyday out the door and at school before 9 a.m. At least it's 1 mile away!

Any suggestions? I enjoy my job... I used work less hours which worked out fine. But then my employer asked me to go up, which seems SO much more b/c I do the extra hours after I put my kids to bed. I don't think going back down in hours is an option right now.

 

[PollyannaMom]

If the increased hours are recent, so you're not used to the extra money yet, I would use some of it to hire a "mother's helper" for a few after-school hours a week. We used to have a neighbor girl who was not quite babysitting age, but wanted to gain experience and references for when she was. She would, for half the regular rate, come and play with DS while I was home, but busy doing things around the house. You're there if there is an emergency, or she has any questions, but you can get some work done knowing the kids are having fun. Even if you just did it twice a week, you could at least get to sleep earlier sometimes. Best of luck!

 

[QVCshopper]

Thanks for the idea. I have to check to see if I can work during the day; I share my computer with someone who works full-time--which is why I'm primarily a night person. If I can work during the day, my mother-in-law may be able to help once a week.

I used to work 12 hours. 25 is a bit much for me, and I didn't really want to do it, but it's hard to find a situation like mine--and they say it's only through the 4th quarter. I don't mean to complain; just looking for tips.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Here is my advice. What you chose to do with it is your choice.

Stop sweating the small stuff. You don't have to have a picture perfect house. The children will only be little NOW. Enjoy them. Do what you have to to make your household run and anything else you get done consider it a bonus. As for the mornings- that I suggest making sure you are organized. The night before make sure you know where the backpacks and lunchbags are. Have the jackets and shoes by the door. The biggest thing is to wake the kids up early enough so they can relax a bit in the morning. Kids that age usually do not like to get up, dressed, eat and leave. They like to lounge a bit. Keep your mornings calm and the kids will respond to it positively.

Your kids are also old enough to dress themselves with little or no help. Lay out their clothes in the morning. Give simple choices. Dress or pants etc. The most important thing is that YOU not get frazzled. Otherwise it turns the whole morning upsidedown. Good luck and enjoy your days.

 

[polkadotsuitcase]

Stop sweating the small stuff. You don't have to have a picture perfect house. The children will only be little NOW. Enjoy them. Do what you have to to make your household run and anything else you get done consider it a bonus. As for the mornings- that I suggest making sure you are organized.

This is what I was going to say. I was in your shoes several years ago. My kids are 19 months apart, and DH was traveling. I worked at night for a university and did all the parenting/household stuff in the day. Crazy! Looking back, I wish I hadn't been such a perfectionist and tried to do it all, and all perfectly.

I still over-extend myself, and that's when I need to take a breath and do what PP suggests -- shift it down a gear. I'm happier, kids are happier, DH is happier...we all come out better.

Good luck!

 

[rbork]

How about letting DH take car of the food shopping and WITH the kid's too.
My DH has been grocery shopping since day 1 with the kid's since they were babies. ( I'm pretty sure the ladies in the grocery all think he's a widower or divorced because I'm never there) Oh wait he even buys the feminine stuff so I guess they know there's a women somewhere! I worked weekends so he took the kid's to the store. Confine the kid stuff in your house. Less to walk around and pick up all the time. A playarea with stuff that STAYS in play area or at least goes back as soon as it's finished being played with by the person who took it out. Kids can be trained at a young age to put their toys back in the playroom. Have a 30 minute power clean with DH on a friday, then you can enjoy /have time for yourself on a weekend. The cleaning never stops, So let go alittle. When they go to preschool. Do something once or twice a week for yourself. Even if it's just coming home and taking a nap. You can fold the laundry after they come home.
Good Luck and Do what's right for you.

 

[KAMKIM]

I work full time so my situation is a little different but I too feel overwhelmed at times. When I was going to school part time, and working full time...ahh could have pulled my hair out some days lol Thank God that is over...well anyways here is a typical day for me an how I manage my time since I need to be 3 people at once...

I'm up at 6:00 - shower/dress etc.
Kids and DH up at 6:30 - dressed, do hair etc. (although this year I think I am going to add a half hour to this so they have more time to wake up)
Breakfast - usually cereal or toaster struddles (fast things for during the week) and a banana and some juice
Kids out the door at 7:15 to catch bus
DH and I leave for work at 7:20

Home from work 4:45..
I cook dinner while kids do homework I also throw the clothes from our washer into the dryer during this time (we have a delay wash on the washer so I make sure a load is done right before I get home each day) When the kids are done with homework I go through their backpacks, empty it, put in a snack for the next day and set them by the door
the kids and I eat at about 5:30 or 6:00
Kids play from 6:00 - 7:30ish - we'll do crafts/board games/watch home videos/listen to music etc.
7:30 DH and I alternate bathes for the girls and dishes every night so one of us is doing either at this time
8:00 story/quiet time for the girls - now that my oldest DD can read she will read to her younger sister while I set out clothes for the next day
8:30 bed time for the girls
8:30 - 10:00 I finish the laundry, pack the lunches, wipe the counter, sweep the kitchen floor, and pick up the living room set shoes and coats by the door along with my purse and everything I need...At this point I either fall in my bed from exhaustion or will watch one of my shows and fall asleep on the couch during it

usually once during the week I will run the vaccum as well but depends if its needed or not..

In a nut shell that is how our week goes...
That is the basic housework I do during the week every week.


Friday night Girl Scouts
Saturday is grocery shopping day and the girls have their extra curricular activities on Saturdays.

Sunday is my house cleaning day where floors get mopped, dusted, bathrooms, bedding etc....

As you can see I dont schedule anything for during the week, its just too crazy after work and school. I use to be a neat freak but quickly realized I just dont have time for it. 2 hours on Sunday is all I need to clean every thing and its a good way to start your week, being organized and all set for the upcoming Monday..

 

[amamax2]

My kids are less than two years apart, now tweeners - but, boy, do I remember that stage you are in right now - very overwhelming!

So first, sending you a hug!

Second, know that this stage will pass, as will all the other ones to come that you think you can't get through! I felt like I was drowning when my kids were that age and couldn't figure out how "everyone else" managed to do it all. But as the kids get older, these kinds of physical demands get easier (now there's an emotional mine field to navigate instead, lol!).

Some things that worked for us:

Like another pp said, my husband took over all the grocery shopping - he still does it all. He sometimes took one or both kids with him. We would make up a menu on the weekend so I didn't have to think about meal planning during the week, and buy everything we could at once; he would stop (still does) on the way home from work to pick up perishables or things we run out of, like milk.

My husband also took over the majority of laundry. Now, it is a more evenly split, but back then, he did almost all of it. He'd put a load in on his way to work, I'd put it in the dryer during the day, he'd get it out and fold it at night.
We also had the kids help with laundry, even at the age your children are. They can fold towels, sort their clothes from the pile, carry their things to their room.

We had a cleaning person come once a month for about two years. It was an expense, and a sacrifice, but just knowing that once a month the house was getting a real good cleaning made me feel better, and gave me the energy to do "maintenance" the rest of the month.

Things I really, really wish I had done at that age:

Had the kids pick up their toys several times a day and put them away. We'd get involved in something, then move on to something else, and before you knew it, toys were all over. Or we'd need to run out the door, etc, and they'd get left. I'd pick up some, but it was overwhelming just to keep on top of it knowing it was all coming out again soon. I wish I had made them at a very early age learn to pick it up as soon as they were done with it and put it away, before anything else came out, or planned to finish playing ten minutes before we needed to leave the house so that we could pick up beforehand.

Kept the toys/belongings confined to only certain areas of the house. Our house was very small back then, so the whole house was a 'playroom", lol. In the house we are in now, the kids can have their "stuff" only in certain rooms (mainly upstairs) so that at least the downstairs usually looks neater and doesn't stress me out with clutter.

Just in general had them help out more. "Can you put the forks on the table?" "Can you put the bread in the cupboard?" Etc. My kids help out a lot now - they have set chores and each year take on more and more responsibilities - but looking back, I wish I had trusted that they could do a lot more, and sooner, than what I asked of them simply because it would have helped us all out.

Hang in there!