OT: Does anyone else take their children out to nice restaurants?

[mhaddon]

I've always taken my children. My grandma told me that it's never worth eating at a restraunt that won't accept your children... They have learned how to behave. My only problem w/ DS1 is that he is in his why stage and doesn't know how to wisper. He is 2 1/2 so he will get better. We take him and our 13 month old out to eat at nice restraunts all the time. I'm a paying customer too.

 

[zoemurr]

My kids are very well behaved at restaurants & as a matter of fact 2 different tables stopped me on the way out that night & told me how impressed they were with them.

I think this is why they are staring. We had the kids at Red Lobster once when they were about 2/4. (and in all honesty they were driving us nuts and we didn't think they were being all that great..) but an older couple came up to us when they were finished. They said they couldn't stop staring at us and commenting on how well behaved they were. We always just assumed it's because they love to eat.

Sat. night we took the kids to a fancy Italian restaurant for DDs birthday. My 9yr old ordered the calamari. I asked if any kids ever ordered that. She said, "Not many kids order seafood, and not many kids have the great manners that yours do." We had another waitress tell us that you would be amazed at the way parents let kids talk to her.

 

[npmommie]

We take our kids to all sorts of restaurants, we always have. last year my BIL was up visiting from Orlando, we all got together for dinner, there were about 10 of us, hubby and i were the only ones with little kids along.
we went to one of those more upscale kind of italian restaurants in the area.
my kids ate off the menu, had a great time, were very well behaved, my BIL and SIL kept commenting how they could have never brought their kids to a restaurant like that when they were little!! no one could believe how good they did at this restaurant!
I just said, well we take them out a lot, so they know how to behave in a restaurant!
I personally don't care if people stare at me, doesn't bother me.

even on our last plane trip to WDW........when we landed, the kids were giggling.........as we were getting off another passenger commented on how good the kids were on the plane and how they didn't even realize there were little kids on board til they heard them giggle when we landed!

 

[okeydokey]

You know it's funny reading all these replies. I'm sure nobody is going to post that their kids are absolute terrors in restaurants, but I'm also sure that not everyone's kids are extremely well behaved and quiet in restaurants like the ones mentioned here. (I know mine aren't, although they are usually pretty good).

 

[Nancyg56]

You know it's funny reading all these replies. I'm sure nobody is going to post that their kids are absolute terrors in restaurants, but I'm also sure that not everyone's kids are extremely well behaved and quiet in restaurants like the ones mentioned here. (I know mine aren't, although they are usually pretty good).

I don't know, my DGD is really well behaved. If she was not she would not go to dinner in nice restaurants. She knows that there are consequences to bad behavior and really does not enjoy them. She joined my DD, DSIL and I for dinner for my DD's birthday and decided to test the waters. They were very shallow. Because it was DD's birthday I took her crying little fresh self outside, and explained that I had no problem sitting in the car with her while Mommy and Daddy enjoyed their dinner and gave her the choice...behave or enjoy a little visit together. She knew I would follow through chose to use her best manners and had dinner.

I am not saying that she has not ever been a challenge, she has. Saturday evening in Red Robin she managed to push her luck and I think it will be a while before she goes there again. I honestly don't believe that she disturbed anyone there, it was as crazy there as I have ever seen it but her mother expects her behavior to be a certain way.

I really think that children behave the way that they are expected to behave and if parent do not set standards and take a chance that they will meet them, children don't have the opportunity to learn. Most parents who take their kids to fairly expensive restaurants generally will make sure that they behave in a manner that will make them proud. Parents who end up in a nice restaurant before their kids learn how to occupy themselves and what manners are expected may be the ones horrified diners complain about.

 

[_queenie_]

Every once in a while we would get a look at some of the nicer restaurants but I never really cared. Maybe that's part of being a 40 something. I don't care what others think anymore.

Funny, I've hit the 45 mark and DH is three years older, and I actually think I notice people more NOW than I did in my 30's. Of course, that may come with having a child in my early 40's!

 

[daisyduck123]

Always.

DH & DS9's favorite restaurant in WDW is Shula's.

 

[npmommie]

Has anyone else ever noticed that you get seated in the tables far away from the main hub sometimes??
I remember last winter we ate for the first time at a new seafood restaurant in the city, expensive, and we got seated far far away from anyone else, near the door to the kitchen
and we were the only ones in there with kids, it was a friday, but early, like before 5 pm.....

 

[Drewsmommybear]

I kind of like it when we get seated far away. There's more room to spread out the Matchbox cars that always travel with my DS (3). We come with a backpack full of activities so that he won't get bored and neither will my husband (who is more of a problem than my son ). Sitting by the kitchen gives us something to look at and my son can talk to everyone as they come in and out.

Frankly, my son isn't always well behaved. He is prone to ear infections and instead of telling us that his ears hurt, he acts out by biting himself and other people and being crabby. It usually takes me a day or two to figure out that he doesn't need an intervention, just some antibiotics and it can start out of nowhere. We try not to go to restaurants during this time, or we try to get out as soon as possible.

But I believe that kids don't learn how to behave at these places unless you go. So we go when we can.

 

[jeepgirl30]

We do not take our kids to fine dining places as a norm. On vacation we have and they were very good to our shock! DD7 we expected it but DS4 not so much. He is a wild card and we never know what we will get from him.

We do take them to family dining places but we really do not eat out that much. If we do fine dining its a date night.

I feel kids can not learn if you don't take them so I don't look twice unless there is reason to look! I would take mine more often but it is expensive and I know they are not going to be getting my money's worth. They are not so adventurous with food and they really don't enjoy the fancy places, they get bored. On vacation it is different, they actually like getting dressed up and going.

Sort of funny but my DD loves breakfast foods so one morning we decided to suprise her and take her out for breakfast. She was all excited and wanted to go to Eat and Park. She went and got herself dressed, in her minnie mouse Christmas dress and told her brother he needed to put on his holiday outfit also because we were going to a "fancy" restaurant. I'm not sure where so got that idea but it was pretty funny. He actually let her dress him up too.

 

[nicolemomof4cuties]

We live near Indy and it is definitely not a backwoods in anyway LOL We have tons of upscale restuarants! We used to take my kids out to eat all of the time but we have been a little tight financially lately so that is the first thing to go. And yes people did look at us like we had three heads. We for one people always think that we look too young to have four kids which is a HUGE compliment! but we ALWAYS have people come up and compliment our children on there good behavour which makes both us and them feel like they are doing a good job!

 

[candee0512]

I have 3 kids and now they're older so behavior in restaurants isn't an issue, but we ate out a lot especially with my oldest son. (It gets harder to do with each kid!) The one time he was misbehaving in a restaurant, we gave him a warning that we would leave if he didn't stop what he was doing. We had ordered and were waiting for our meals. He chose to keep doing it, and at that point I got up and found a server and told them what was happening, and we left. A cold peanut butter sandwich wasn't what I wanted to eat for supper that night, but he never misbehaved in a restaurant again.

Candee

 

[DevilDuckie]

I got lucky and have a son who is by nature quiet and civil. He is a huge foodie and we take him to much nicer places than I would take most younger kids. He's 10 now but he's been doing mid-to-high end dining since he was about 5.

My rule is that he must not be "well behaved for a kid" but rather "well behaved PERIOD" to go places that are not normally kid-friendly. If I am going to take him somewhere that is geared for adults, he must be prepared to follow adult rules for the duration. I know a lot of families that take their kids to nice places and then don't understand why people resent their kids "who are really being good for 5 years old!" Um... that's not really enough. I am a firm advocate of well-mannered people of all ages being welcome anywhere. I am also a firm advocate of keeping your kid out of nicer places if you haven't managed to get them to that level yet. If they crawl on the floor and demand toys, they are not fine dining appropriate yet.

DS eats at Club 33. He enjoys sushi bars and is looking forward to his first trip to La Fondue this year. (It's set up for people to eat in pairs and it's about $150 a pair. Yeah, we made him wait because we're cheap!)

 

[DevilDuckie]

I have 3 kids and now they're older so behavior in restaurants isn't an issue, but we ate out a lot especially with my oldest son. (It gets harder to do with each kid!) The one time he was misbehaving in a restaurant, we gave him a warning that we would leave if he didn't stop what he was doing. We had ordered and were waiting for our meals. He chose to keep doing it, and at that point I got up and found a server and told them what was happening, and we left. A cold peanut butter sandwich wasn't what I wanted to eat for supper that night, but he never misbehaved in a restaurant again.

Candee

You're doing it wrong. J/K. My folks were big fans of never punishing themselves because of our behavior, though and solved a similar situation fairly neatly.

My older brother and I misbehaved in a restaurant ONCE. Dad took us out to the car while Mom cancelled our orders and got theirs to go. We went home, put on our pajamas and ate peanut butter before going straight to bed. My parents, on the other hand, sat at the table with their tasty meals, lit a couple candles and enjoyed themselves.

Lesson learned: Only we would pay for our transgressions. I don't know WHAT we were thinking that night. Acting up in restaurants was so far outside of the scope of acceptable behavior. I'm still embarassed by it more than 20 years later.

 

[DevilDuckie]

You know it's funny reading all these replies. I'm sure nobody is going to post that their kids are absolute terrors in restaurants, but I'm also sure that not everyone's kids are extremely well behaved and quiet in restaurants like the ones mentioned here. (I know mine aren't, although they are usually pretty good).

I am fairly certain that when I have a second kid our dining out will be curtailed. I got lucky with my first one being the sort of person who likes fancy restaurants and Broadway shows. (Some people get sports stars, I get a jr. food critic!) Chances of the next one being that amenable are very small and there is a limit to how much of it you can train into small kids. This ONLY works because it is in his nature. Other perfectly nice and well raised children are not capable of the same level of etiquette- including, I suspect, his future siblings. In short, it is not solely my Awesome Parenting Powers of Doom that have produced this kid- I take only partial credit for him in this respect.

 

[_queenie_]

Has anyone else ever noticed that you get seated in the tables far away from the main hub sometimes??
I remember last winter we ate for the first time at a new seafood restaurant in the city, expensive, and we got seated far far away from anyone else, near the door to the kitchen
and we were the only ones in there with kids, it was a friday, but early, like before 5 pm.....

Oh yeah, and whenever that happens we're usually get seated next to loud and obnoxious people. I don't consider us much different than a quiet party with five adults, just because we have children doesn't mean we all don't get headaches too!

 

[semo233]

Here's my two cents:
How are kids going to learn how to act in a nice restaurant if they never go to one? Okay, start at home with a nice tea party, but it is a chance for kids over 3 to practice a show off thier good manners.
My grandfather asked my father about going out to eat and how expensive it is to which my father replied: How are the girls going to know how to act on a date if I never take them to a restaurant?
If your kids misbehave or are too noisy, then you should probably leave. But well mannered children are welcome at a table next to me anytime.

 

[theparsons]

I too have taken my girls (now age 11 1/2) to restaurants since they were infants....when they were babies we tended more towards the "noisy" restaurants like Chilis or Chevys where their occasional "I'm hungry" cries wouldn't disturb others while we quickly quieted them with food we had brought. I can only think of one time that we had a melt down as an infant and I left immediately with the crying baby, while DH quickly got our just delivered food into a doggie bag and met me in the car with the other baby, lol. Turned out she had her first tooth erupt the next day.

As they got older we went to nicer and nicer restaurants including Ruths Chris for Christmas Day dinner when they were 5. I thought the hostess was going to faint, the look on her face as we paraded in all dressed up in holiday velvet....but they were perfect angels, politely telling the waiter what they wanted.....talking quietly but excitedly about Santa coming that night....and I still can remember the waiter giving the girls dessert which we hadn't ordered....and saying that Santa had called him special and asked that it be delivered to them. Needless to say he got a big tip....but it also shows that the staff obviously thought they were wonderfully behaved.

I think the only way you're going to "train" your child on how to behave in a nice restaurant is to work your way up to doing so by starting out young. You can't take a child only to McDonald's and Burger King for 5 years and then suddenly expect them to sit through a 4 course meal! You start with how they should behave in family restaurants where their learning mistakes won't be a huge problem...working up to nicer restaurants where the mistakes will be frowned on but tolerated...and finally to the "children should be seen but not heard" types of restaurants when they're ready for them.

Unfortunately, I see/hear a lot of kids who may never be ready for anything nicer than Denny's.....and yet there they are screeching while the adults simply talk louder! It's one thing to have a child have a meltdown...we've all been there done that.....it's totally another to ignore the child and talk louder to the other adults at your table to be heard over your wailing child. I can't tell you how often I've had to bite my lip to avoid going over and asking the adult to behave like a parent and do something about their kid. For my girls, simply the threat of "you'll be eating your dinner in the van" was enough to stop them

I prefer to think that the frowns from other guests are because they are jealous that MY children are well enough behaved to be able to enjoy a nice meal out. Perhaps the adults you saw frowning at you were bothered by the fact that your family could dine out TOGETHER whenever they wanted....and those adults perhaps only got to go out without the kids once or twice a year and couldn't do nice places with their kids!

My advice....stop watching the people around you and concentrate on the fun at your own table Now...if your kids are disturbing others with their behavior, then the frowning may be warranted.....but I'm guessing from your post that like me, your kid would be eating in the van if they didn't stop misbehaving toot sweet.

Bon Apetite!

 

[mumom95]

We took our kids, they were probably 4 and 6 at the time, out to a restaurant a couple of years ago, that wasn't overy nice, but not your typical restaurant for kids. We were in a room with about 6 other tables, no children at them. Our kids are usually well behaved and did fine that evening. The couple at the table next to us came over to our table before they left and told us what well behaved kids we had. The guy was funny, he said "we watched you two and you were actually able to have a conversation without your kids interrupting you every two minutes, you don't see that too often anymore". He admitted when we first walked in he was worried that the kids were going to ruin his dining experience. But he said a lot of nice things about my kids and us as parents.

 

[LuvOrlando]

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