OT- Disability permits for Autism.. Physical v. Neurological

[ditzoyd]

.I understand exactly how you feel, my son is very difficult to get through a parking lot, even with my husband and I together. Never mind when we have his sisters with us! I also have had ignorant people say something to me when I am loading the back of my van after putting him into his car seat first.

I used to engage them informing them that "No, I am not handicapped however my son who is in the car is. Thank you for your concern." I also got a Autism Awareness ribbon on my car. And after a experience very similar to yours, I bought Autism Awareness business cards that I just hand out to those who glare at my sons meltdowns.

 

[SueM in MN]

But, maybe a good answer would be stopping, looking her dead straight in the eye and telling her to "Stop. (you said she wouldn't let you get a word in edgewise" then say "you are free to call the police if you want to report a violation, but I have a legitimate placard for reasons you may not comprehend" then said nothing more.

I like that answer (although I should never have to use it. Since my DD does have a wheelchair, people can see why we are parking in the handicapped spots - although as I already posted, some don't believe people using wheelchairs should park there).

Getting a bit OT--DH didn't want to bring up at work that his DS is autistc. Whenever we went to work functions, people would give us the "you can't make your kid behave look", so I got him to display a button in his office that says "I love my son with autism". Now, everyone knows and he never had to discuss it.

good solution.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I think my point was missed, unintentionally. I should have elaborated. I'm 27 years old. I became injured in 1984. There was no "special needs" back then, at least not where I am from. You called your disability exactly what it was: paraplegia, cerebral palsy, MS, MD, autism, mental retardation, etc. There was no "special needs" about it.

I hate the phrase, myself, and feel it's trying horribly to be PC. To me, it sounds patronizing and condescending. This is just my opinion.

 

[mlwear]

I think my point was missed, unintentionally. I should have elaborated. I'm 27 years old. I became injured in 1984. There was no "special needs" back then, at least not where I am from. You called your disability exactly what it was: paraplegia, cerebral palsy, MS, MD, autism, mental retardation, etc. There was no "special needs" about it.

I hate the phrase, myself, and feel it's trying horribly to be PC. To me, it sounds patronizing and condescending. This is just my opinion.

OK--Got it A much different perspective than what I perceived. High functioning adult autistics (clearly not your disability)tell me consistently that they feel they just have a different way of experiencing the world. They don't want to be seen as "special" "needy" or those that I talk to esp. hate when people talk about "curing" autism. They believe it is who they are and that they aren't "defective". However, as I think you are pointing out, none have ever mentioned concern over calling the disorder autism, Aspergers or autism spectrum...

Yes, I did misunderstand and it was unintentional.

Glad that you clarified.

 

[SueM in MN]

I don't think "Special Needs" started out as a PC thing. If you are talking about a specific person, it's easy to say (for example), "my youngest DD has cerebral palsy". I think "Special Needs" came out of the need to talk about grops of people.
My take on it anyway.

 

[DisneyDreams4P&B]

Personally for me, I have no issue with telling people that my son has special needs, because he does. Children/adults outside of the realm of those who have disabilities do not have occupational therapist, speech therapist, physical therapists, neurologists, developmental pediatricians, audiologist and so on. My son has needs that are different and needs that make him "special".

Webster defines special as :
particular(a): unique or specific to a person or thing or category; "the particular demands of the job"; "has a particular preference for Chinese art"; "a peculiar bond of sympathy between them"; "an expression peculiar to Canadians"; "rights peculiar to the rich"; "the special features of a computer"; "my own special chair"


The needs of my son are somewhat universal to many who have autism while also making my son unique and special. They are specific to who he is and for his care. My son's needs are special but then so is his heart. I don't mind giving people who have little to no interest in my son but need some justification for something we do, or something they see a quick label. They have already defined themselves by their actions, looks and questions. To those who know and love him my son is not defined by his disability, rather the soul he carries inside.

I took no offense to your post, it was nice that you shared a difference of opinion and brought a healthy discussion to the boards.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

DisneyDream, I'm not debating you at all, by all means call your child whatever you like. But why not just say he's autistic and leave it at that? I think that alone explains he has special needs.

 

[scrappingtwinmom]

You are totally within your rights to use that placard. I have one for my son who is five, autistic and with motor difficulties and stamina issues. If he gets tired or sick of the walk he'll just stop or worse sit or lay down in the road. We only use it if he is in the car and only if there are no other regular spots near enough. His disability is pretty invisible although he does have a stroller/wheelchair we use a lot when out and about because of the fatigue and stubborness safety issues. So far no one has said anything to me about anything but I'll be ready if they do!! You have nothing to feel badly about, it was her bad day and she was out of line.

Tami

 

[Dina]

I am so sorry that happened to you. My 5yo has Aspergers and my 2.5yo is beginning the evaluation process for Autism. They scare the crap out of my in parking lots-- neither is aware of what's going on around them-- no matter how much I beg the 5yo to look for cars-- he never does, and my 2.5 year old just struggles to get away from me-- its terrifying (I actually didn't know parking permits were available). No, you are definitely not doing anything wrong, and that woman should be ashamed of herself. I can't tell you the mean things people say to me or looks they give me. My 2.5 year old had a meltdown today in Target, and some woman came over and started yelling at him that "it can't be that bad"-- but literally yelling at him. I wanted to slap her. You didn't do anything wrong, some people are so mean.

 

[disneycamelbackids]

Im so sorry that happened to you. Try to keep your head up. I have an DS age 11 with autism. I recall trying to get past the automatic doors at the mall (he would become fixated on them and tantrum if we tried to move him) and some mean ladies stopped and commeted for all to hear "what a brat, he needs a good spanking" I told her he has autism and to mind her own buisness! Your kids are lucky to have you for a mom

 

[playwright]

Dina,
What kind of "adult" would yell at a 2.5 year old? And a total stranger's kid when she knows nothing about the situation? That's horrible. I'm so sorry she did that to you and your DD.