OT- Dealing with DH Ex

[dreamer17555]

SO DH and I have been together for three years, married for almost two and he adopted my DD6 and is just "Dad" to her. Oh and we have a DS1. We are both young parents 24 YO. He had this girl he "loved" right out of high school he dumped her and regretted it. The truth of that statement (and this comes from his friends who knew him then) Is that he couldn't stand how out and out stupid she was a dumped her hoping to date one of her friends (See why love was in " 's?) It took a long time for him to get over her but did. We tend to run in the same circle as she does and even though I was a little (or a lot) jealous once I met her I knew there was nothing to worry about (Among being unemployed still at our age and living with her Grandparents she secretly thinks she is a wolf- like an actual wolf, just in human form) Anyway the other day I heard from a friend she was pregnant and today I get an email from her where she goes on to tell me she is 4 1/2months pregnant and since I have had kids wants to know when she should start going to the doctor. Really? My first instinct is to email her back to get to a Doctor ASAP and also to pull up Medicaid info for her since she has no job but DH would not be happy about me getting involved.

What would you do?

-Becca-

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

I would kindly email her back and suggest (if you are comfortable) that she get to a local dr ASAP. I would not suggest your dr (don't want to run into her there I'm assuming). If you feel the need, I would also send her the link to your state's Medicaid and WIC programs. If you know any psychiatrists...you may also want to send her the names of those if this woman thinks she's a wolf While you may not want to deal with her (and your DH may not want to deal with her)...I would think of that poor baby and send her the info.

 

[CampbellScot]

I wouldn't get involved. This situations has red flags all over it...at least to me. Clearly you don't want this girl in your life. It's odd that she would ask YOU of all people about this sort of thing.

Perhaps you could send a short email back explaining that she needs to speak to her grandparents or other family members about this. Wish her the best of luck. And let that be the end of it. You could add some numbers for the local WIC programs or social services.

You don't need to be ugly to her, but I certainly wouldn't start giving her intimate advice about pregnancy and birth. That is not your job, and given how you feel about her and have felt about her, it just doesn't seem appropriate to me.

You and your husband need to focus on YOUR marriage and your children.

 

[gibsontrio]

send her the number of the local ASPCA ...lol..
no really , I would be brief as possible and say go to the drs now.

 

[Annabelleasb]

If you don't mind me asking, why does she have your email address anyway? A little strange
I wouldn't get involved. Doesn't she have friends, family, um...boyfriend to help her make decisions. (ignore her email/you NEVER got it--hehe)

Make her unimportant.....

 

[trivial]

She's 4.5 months pregnant, and hasn't seen a doctor yet? Perhaps ask her if she's seen a veterinarian at least. Arooooooo! I would just briefly recommended seeing a doctor as soon as possible, and that's it.

 

[dreamer17555]

She got it off my MySpace (which I no longer have) She even went so far as to request to be added. I did but only because I didn't know how not to (I don't like being mean). Everytime we have come in contact I am very nice to her (almost too nice) but she really represents everything I hate. I just don't like people who don't offer anything up in the world- lazy people just irk me.

I decided to call a mutual friend of ours, Lee (he is also DH best friend but I would trust him with my life). He was the one who told me she was- as she puts it "Preggo" (Aside- don't you still have to be in high school to use this word?). I told him that he needs to nicely one day ask her if she has seen a doctor and slip it in that she NEEDS to. But he said he won't talk to her anymore. Her grandparents kicked her out and she was crashing with a friend (Lee's Girlfriend) but she stole a bunch of money from her and is now living with the father to be and his two brothers.

Lee is the sweetest guy ever, never heard him say something bad about anyone EVER but today he told me that the best we can hope for is that the state intervens and takes the baby away.

I am just really upset with this girl, who does that? If you are pregnant you see a doctor and take care of yourself. END of story.

-Becca-

 

[gibsontrio]

I am just really upset with this girl, who does that? If you are pregnant you see a doctor and take care of yourself. END of story.

-Becca-

wish all people thought that way but unfortunatly they dont. Her baby should come first. I wouldnt trust her as far as I could see. I would end any contact she has with you, delete her off myspace and make your profile private

 

[wilderness01]

I wouldn't get involved. She is going to do what she wants anyway with or without your advice. Sounds like she just wanted you both to know she was pregnant. Actually it sounds childish so I would stay out of it.

 

[Sansa]

I have nothing but pity for furries. They are sad, lonely individuals who are desparate for somewhere to fit in. And unfortunatly, you can't recommend counseling because they simply won't listen. They're DIFFERENT, you see. Funny, you didn't see a lot of furries running around before the internet gave them a home.

Sadly I agree with the other posters. Just stay out of it. There's nothing you can do to save this woman from herself. That poor kid

 

[Sugardimples]

I wouldn't even respond to the e-mail. Stay out of it.

 

[DevilDuckie]

Any response you give is inviting her, her problems and her unresolved feelings for your husband into your world. Doing that isn't being "nice", it's being foolish. YOU are not responsible for making this girl be a good parent and if you let yourself get sucked in now it will be one thing after another for a loooooong time.


Your responsibility is to your family and your marriage. Sugar, y'all are 24 with two children. There's enough on your plates without adding his high school girlfriend to your load. You need to be focused on building your family's future, not hers. Maybe that sounds cold, but there it is. This girl will create drama in your world and drama in your world is drama in your children's.

 

[2poohbears]

Any response you give is inviting her, her problems and her unresolved feelings for your husband into your world. Doing that isn't being "nice", it's being foolish. YOU are not responsible for making this girl be a good parent and if you let yourself get sucked in now it will be one thing after another for a loooooong time.


Your responsibility is to your family and your marriage. Sugar, y'all are 24 with two children. There's enough on your plates without adding his high school girlfriend to your load. You need to be focused on building your family's future, not hers. Maybe that sounds cold, but there it is. This girl will create drama in your world and drama in your world is drama in your children's.

Very well said. I completely agree with this post.

I think she used this pregnancy question as a means to get "in" with you... she's after something.

Run. And don't look back.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Whew for a minute there I thought you were going to say she was pregnant by your dh. I would give her info, but not your drs info.

Personally I think she might be contacting you so your dh knows. Kind of like a she moved past him too.