OT - daughter in basketball getting made fun of

[fimac]

I agree, but what are those with less skilled but enthusiastic players to do? Are we to keep them out of team sports because we know they are going to be the weakest players on the team? No matter how much we practice with DS or how long he's played, he is not athletic and I am hard pressed to find a sport that he won't be the weakest player on the team. I am trying to guide him gently toward individual sports, because I fear the bullying he might be subjected to on team sports as he gets older. But, at the same time, I don't want to dampen his enthusiasm for something that he wants to do for fear of how he might be treated.

My heart goes out to the OP's DD. To me, it doesn't matter whether a child is a boy or a girl, or a skilled player or not, no one deserves to be treated the way her teammates are treating her.

What has worked for DS11 is that DH coaches or aids with his sport. DH coaches the spring soccer. It gave DS the ability to find the position that he is comfortable playing. Now he can go to other coaches and tell them were he will play best.

I too feel sorry for the OP DD. DS has been pick on on many team, even when he was playing on a team with friends. Parent coaching seems to be the only thing that really works.

 

[TashaRVT]

I also think its worth noting that bullying isn't considered a "natural" male trait. I happen to know some very fine young men who don't buy into this kind of behaviour.

Be careful about pigeon-holing kids based on their gender. .

Hey, thanks for the input. Actually, what I was referring to when I made that comment was more the tendency for maybe a boy to tease a girl that he likes or wants to be around becuase he doesn't know how to approach them. Or maybe to try to show her how good he is at whatever it may be. I was in no means trying to say that bullying is okay. Because it's not - EVER. I have a 7 year old son, and I do not tolerate that type of behaviour from either of my kids. I run a tight ship at my house, but I try to keep eveything a really open dialogue so that we can talk about things without them feeling like they're being judged.

 

[DearDaisyinDurham]

Hi Tasha,
Hope things are going better for your daughter at basketball!

Hugs,
Daisy

 

[TashaRVT]

Okay, so the basketball class is almost over, and it all worked out okay!!

We talked to DD A LOT about what was going on, and she chose to stick it out. Of course, it helped that Daddy starting attending the games every week - no more problems after that!

I'm so happy - thank you all for your suggestions!

 

[mc'smommy]

So glad to hear it worked out for your daughter....
My daughter is 11 and plays competitive basketball and loves it...Its a great sport and one day those boys will eat thier words.....LOL

 

[DearDaisyinDurham]

that's great, thanks for letting us know!!!

 

[braydensmom]

Glad to hear that it worked out for your daughter. I am a little shocked at the amount of people saying that the instructors are teenagers so they wouldnt do anything. I worked as a camp counsellor and sports instructor for parks & rec all the way though h.s. We went through training sessions all the time teaching us how to prevent situations and how to deal with them if they happen. Parks & Rec. does have a zero tolerence level, and I remember even 10+ years ago kids being told not to come back because they were being rough.
Teenagers would probably shock some of the people that said they would have no idea what to do. I think kids are learning alot more about this issue as it is becoming more dangerous and a bigger problem. I think adults would be the one that would have no idea on how to deal with it.

 

[DonaldDC]

Glad to hear that it worked out for your daughter. I am a little shocked at the amount of people saying that the instructors are teenagers so they wouldnt do anything. I worked as a camp counsellor and sports instructor for parks & rec all the way though h.s. We went through training sessions all the time teaching us how to prevent situations and how to deal with them if they happen. Parks & Rec. does have a zero tolerence level, and I remember even 10+ years ago kids being told not to come back because they were being rough.
Teenagers would probably shock some of the people that said they would have no idea what to do. I think kids are learning alot more about this issue as it is becoming more dangerous and a bigger problem. I think adults would be the one that would have no idea on how to deal with it.

Tasha,

Braydensmom is right on the mark with her comment. I worked for Parks and Rec as a Youth Coordinator in the York Region for the past 5 years (I'm now in the Halton region) and have worked with youth for more than 12 years. Many P and R dept's have a zero tolerance policy and all staff (FT and PT) are trained on this policy and how to handle the situation. We also provide our staff with Anti-Bullying training as this unfortunately is a very common thing these days. While it worked out for your daughter I would suggest bringing the issue to the attention of the Recreation/Youth Coordinator. It's important that they're aware of this as many times the Instructor will lead each session (Fall, Winter, Spring, Summer). Perhaps they are new staff or need a reminder of the Zero Tolerance policy and the right to inclusive play for everyone regardless of ability, gender or race. After all this is a recreation program! If you would like the name of the Youth Coordinator for Ajax please PM me and I'd be happy to pass their information along as I'm sure they'd like to know about this.

 

[Cdn Gal]

I'm glad that everything worked out OK.