OT-Cell phone rules?

[la79al]

My stepson has a cell phone and he is driving us crazy with it. It seems like he is always talking on it or at least texting somebody. It doesn't help that the person he seems to be on the phone with the most is a girl we don't approve of. We are ready to lay down some ground rules but I would like to be reasonable. We told him last night that the phone gets plugged into the charger downstairs at 9:30 because otherwise, he will be in his bed texting until midnight. He has had texts come through at 11, when he wasn't even texting with anyone, that have woken his sisters up. Yes, his mother pays the bill but she has told me that if the phone becomes a problem, let her know and he won't have it anymore. I don't think we need to go that far but something needs to change. Last weekend he went out to the end of the sidewalk to get the trashcan and was gone for 15 minutes because he stopped to text. So I need some ideas on how to make some rules that work for all of us. Suggestions?

 

[starsweeper]

My kids aren't anywhere near this age, but personally, I wouldn't stand for constant cell phone usage. It's addictive just like Internet and video-game usage, and should be limited similarly in my opinion. If you ask most parents, they say kids have a cell phone for emergencies, but that's not how they are used. I had a SIL that drove me crazy because she allowed her 2 sons to bring Nintendo games to Sunday family brunch and play them the whole time without interacting with everyone. To me, cell phones are just as obnoxious. I'd make a schedule of when he could use his phone and stick to it.

 

[marycaym]

6 kids total, 3 kids - 17, 13 and 11 are w/us all the time and all have cell phones but we have very clear cell phone rules. No phones at the table, no phones at night when its bed time, no cell phones during homework time - they stay in the kitchen on silent - i dont want to hear them ringing and buzzing. And if I am talking to you are paying attention to me not the phone and I have no problem taking them away if you are not using them appropriately. We are very clear on our rules, the kids know it and know that we will take them away if they misuse them. And although we don't get an itemized bill they know that we will check the usage online to make sure they are not using them when they are not supposed to be (11 yr old had a habit of waking up about midnight and taking her phone from the kitchen!).

However with all that said, you are in a bit of a tough position because his mother pays for the phone, however and we are a blended family (he has 4, i have 2), we enforce the "our house, our rules" policy.

Good luck!

 

[mjkacmom]

Our rules are to turn off at night, and no texting at the table, and sometimes in the car, if it's starting to drive me nuts. Although dd13 texts a lot, it takes up much less time than the hours each day I used to spend on the phone with my gfs. Usually texting picks up when they're trying to make a plan. She's not glued to her phone - she sometimes leaves it downstairs, which drives me nuts to listen to.

 

[taximomfor4]

Our rules, when dd was in 9th grade until very recently (graduating high school!), were:

*When bedtime comes, the PHONE also goes to bed (my kitchen counter turned OFF).

*The phone stays in the bedroom when dd is at the kitchen table

*When we are speaking to dd, she it to ignore the phone completely.

*NO Texting at all during school hours, unless it's to give me a message about pick-up later.

*At dance class, the phone stays off AND put away in purse, even during shoe changes.

*If the clicking of the texting is driving me mad, I reserve the right to ask her to go elsewhere and text or have her put the phone away for a while (in the car, there's nowhere to go -- so the phone might get put away once I've reached my limit).

*I had no rules about the phone during homework, but doubt dd had her phone on while doing it -- she likes to hyper-focus and get done quickly (so careless errors are more her style, rather than distraction-related ones). Nor did I Have rules about texting while doing chores. I don't particularly mind if a chore takes her 3x as long as it should, she still has to do the same list, lol.

I did random checks of the call logs to make sure dd was complying, and only had to "ground" her phone once, a few months after she'd gotten it. She had to wait a week to get it back, and was perfect with it for the several years afterward. I will say, her texts per month was sky high for the first 6-8 months maybe, but now, 3 yrs later, she's more likely to put her phone away and read a book while we are on roadtrips.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

My dd is 10 and has a cell because she is at dance 4 nights a week. Basically, it's a convenience for me so that I don't drive the receptionist at dance nutso. Anyway, we pay $4.99 a month for usage control on her phone. We have Verizon. I can set times that her phone cannot recieve or place calls to anything but her ICE numbers. I can allot her minutes and texts per month. It's saved a bunch of fights. Our other rules are:
- No taking the phone to school. She accidently did this Monday and she gave it to her teacher to hold until the end of the day.
-No cell at the table during meals.
- No texts or calls to or from other friends when you are with a friend.
-No texts or calls until after your homework is done.

I let her charge her phone in her room because the usage control locks her phone at bedtime. She also has several friends who will text constantly and my daughter knows that it is her responsibility to let her friends know what her rules are. One friend in particular will call and text 50 or more times an hour if dd doesn't respond. DD had to tell her friend that I would take her phone away and block this friend if she didn't stop.

 

[taximomfor4]

One friend in particular will call and text 50 or more times an hour if dd doesn't respond. DD had to tell her friend that I would take her phone away and block this friend if she didn't stop.

Ack. DD7 (no cell phone) has a friend that calls our home phone continuously (like up to 20x per hour). We've talked to her parents, talked to her, and dd has talked to her. Even if dd says "I am eating dinner, then going to dance. I'll have to see you at school tomorrow", the friend calls continuously afterward anyway.

If this dd had a cell phone, it would be really out of control -- it drives us batty as it is!

 

[Jdougherty]

I've raised 1 teenage boy, and I have 3 nieces that are 14.
We fallow the "my house my rules" also

1. no cell phone during dinner/meals

2. no cell phone suring family events i.e. a play/ movie

3. If I say some thing to you and because your txting you don't respond I get the cell phone.

4. no phone calls in the car unless is a parent or the person we are picking up

5. I reserve the right to take the cell phone if your behavior become annoying.

for DD we plan on using the Verision system too.