OT- Are your kids signed up for too many activities?

[Dazer22]

I have two kids and they are allowed to sign up for two activities per season.
This includes any kind of music lessons.

I have purposely set this limit because I feel that any more really cuts into family dinners, family time, schoolwork, and time to relax.

I know there are people out there that do travel hockey, competitive dance, competitive gymastics etc. and put in many more hours ,but this just does not work for our family.

My daughter has just asked to sign up for one more activity which many of her friends from her class will be taking part in. I really want to say "noway"
( because it means one more night during the week that we will be committed to an activity, but at the same time I don't want her to miss out. I know the right thing to do is to say "no" but am finding this difficult.

Do you feel that the number of hours that kids put into afterschool activities is getting out of hand ?

 

[LisaNJ25]

I am the same way... 2 is the max. Girls Scouts is number 1 for my dd and so far its been cheerleading in the fall and baseball in the spring. Ever they have conflicts but girl scouts is always he one she takes over the other.

 

[bjscheel]

Yes, I feel that extra activities often get out of hand. No, my kids are not signed up for too many. They pretty much feel school and church are quite enough! We do have them do the Jr. drill team every year but that is only for 2-3 weeks with one performance at the end. Besides, we live 11 miles from town, so if they were in an activity, that would mean me hanging around town for the duration, I wouldn't drive back home for 1-2 hours. So I tend to discourage it.

DD9 is now signed up for Youth Basketball from the Y. It will be Saturdays in Nov-Dec for 1 hour. I felt it would be a great experience for her, but she hemmed and hawed about having her Saturdays busy. She loves having "a whole day at home" now and then! Well my co-worker who happens to be the mom of the high school basketball star said it would be a good idea. Since "James' Mom" said so, that held clout with DD!

Now piano lessons don't count because I'm the teacher! That's good and bad, because without the set in stone lesson time each week, we tend to hit that just whenever. But it's nice to not have to be somewhere for that every week!

 

[disneymom3]

I am very very careful about how many activities we get involved in at one time.

Anyone remember even knowing any kids who were on travel sports teams or had practice at least twice a week plus games too when we were young? I didn't. Had one friend who was on a swim team, one friend who played soccer and that was it other than high school sports. Why have we gotten so unbalanced??

 

[MSSANDRA]

If you "KNOW" that "NO" is the right answer then say it and do not feel guilty. if you are unsure if letting her do it is right or not, then take a look at the whole situation. Some children need no organized activities to thrivein life and some kids need a lot of stimulation that they get from these activities. You however are so right that you have to set limits for family life, mommy time and money you can spend. I think however you also have to look at how important this might be to your child if all her freinds take part and she does not. NOW, i do not think that a child should be allowed to do somethihng just because everyone else is, but if her whole circle of friends is doing cheerleading and she is not allowed to take part that might be really hard for her. is there one of the other activities she would be willing to give up for this one??

Hard questions but worth thinking about.

 

[ILoveDisney&Cruising]

Do you feel that the number of hours that kids put into afterschool activities is getting out of hand ?

DEFINITELY! We do piano, sewing class (they chose this instead of soccer this fall) & in the winter will do basketball.

Even with this light schedule, we are rarely home because of life and a never ending "to do" list.

 

[cruizie]

Hi! I try to limit my dd5 to 2 activities also (gymnastics & Girl Scouts). She loves classes and activities but now that she is in school and has homework, I just have to tell her no. If it were up to her, here is what she would do: gymnastics, GS, horseback riding, cheerleading, yr round swim team, art, dance, etc., etc, etc. So I tell her to pick 2. Girl Scouts is every 2 weeks & on Fri night so it does not interfere w/ homework (no homework on weekends yet).

However, I am making an exception to this in the spring. She will do swim team also & it starts the month before school is out - it is a huge time committment on her part and mine. She took swim this summer & could hardly swim at the beginning of the summer & by the end of the summer, knew all 4 strokes!

Just look at what works for your family. I think early success at sports can be very good at building self-confidence - I'm not CERTAIN about this theory - I am terrible at sports and had no self-confidence as a kid!!

Good luck w/ your decision!!

 

[calliemom]

Between homework, tests, projects, weekly visits to the grandparents and after school play dates, we limit our dd to 1 activity per semester (not including summer of course). This year she's back into recreational rhythmics and she is more than happy with that!

 

[deedeetoo]

My dd9 is very over scheduled. She wants to do everything. I guess I could say no but she does all her homework and is doing well in school so I've just let it go. Right now she does gymnastics (Team level 5, 4 nights/wk), soccer, girl scouts, and violin.

My ds6 has no desire to do everything. He is in soccer and cub scouts.

 

[Aneille]

My answer is YES.

During overlap time my 5 year old totals up to 5 1/2 hours a week in sports and music. She is currently enrolled in 4 activities. Violin, hockey, swimming, soccer. Hockey is a huge commitment. She has some weeks where she gets 4hours of ice time and the season is Sept. - March.

My 4 year totals 5 hours a week in sports and music. She is currently doing 4 activities. Violin, gymnastics, hockey, swimming.

This is the hardest part of the year for us. But we taper it off as winter approaches and then they are not scheduled at all in the summer. They only swim in the summer (if they want to) and occasionaly play hockey.

Another thing is my girls are on opposite schedules in school. Both are 1/2 day. So we have more free time and when I can I schedule things for when the other is in school or at the same time. They are a year apart in school so I can do this a lot.

We also don't usually swim in the winter but the oldest is going to join the summer swim team so we are taking at least one more session then we will be off until the spring.

 

[Keara'sMom]

My answer is a resounding YES! My dd10 plays three instruments--she studies piano privately and takes school lessons on the other two. That alone would be more than enough, what with practicing time (with her teachers' support, we have her practice less than the 30 minutes/5 days per week they recommend), but she also takes one dance class per week (one hour) and sings in a children's choir (one hour). Oh, and basketball through school starts next month! YIKES! When I see it all in print, it's so much!!! In the summertime, she takes about three piano lessons over the course of the summer, and she plays in a summer band one hour per week for five weeks. All other activities stop unless she decides to practice oboe or viola on her own.

Her grades are great, she's happy, and she is making good progress on all instruments, so we're letting her do all that she wants right now. Should she come to us asking to drop an activity or instrument, we'd let her in a heartbeat, but right now, she gets upset at the mere mention of stopping anything! Next year she'll be in middle school, and she'll have to make some choices, which she knows.

 

[deedeetoo]

During overlap time my 5 year old totals up to 5 1/2 hours a week in sports and music. She is currently enrolled in 4 activities. Violin, hockey, swimming, soccer. Hockey is a huge commitment. She has some weeks where she gets 4hours of ice time and the season is Sept. - March.

My 4 year totals 5 hours a week in sports and music. She is currently doing 4 activities. Violin, gymnastics, hockey, swimming.

If you think 4 hours of ice time is a huge committment wait to see what happens if your 4 yo keeps up with gymnastics. My 9 yo is spending 10 hours/wk at the gym and our gym is actually light compared to others. I know people at her level that are putting in twice as much time. Right now we have 2.5 hours, 4 x per week. And that is from Labor Day to the end of school in June. She is also required to go 4 full weeks (9am - 3 pm) during the summer.

Sometime I regret the day I let her get started in it. But now she is addicted. She loves it. We threaten to make her quit because it is too much and she freaks out.

 

[tjmw2727]

For me it depends on what they would otherwise be doing. If they would be outside at the park playing, reading, doing homework etc then maybe you don't need another activity. OTOH if its something she really wants to try and she is getting homework done, chores, having plenty of playtime etc then why not?

I know moms who limit the kids to a certain # of activities but then once homework is done they are in front of the TV or playing nintendo. Not my style, I would rather add another activity especially if its 8 - 10 weeks at a time.

I know people who think my kids have too much scheduled and others that envy my kids free time!

Every family and every kid is different - go with your gut

TJ.

 

[Aneille]

If you think 4 hours of ice time is a huge committment wait to see what happens if your 4 yo keeps up with gymnastics. My 9 yo is spending 10 hours/wk at the gym and our gym is actually light compared to others. I know people at her level that are putting in twice as much time. Right now we have 2.5 hours, 4 x per week. And that is from Labor Day to the end of school in June. She is also required to go 4 full weeks (9am - 3 pm) during the summer.

Sometime I regret the day I let her get started in it. But now she is addicted. She loves it. We threaten to make her quit because it is too much and she freaks out.

I am worried about the gymnastics. My oldest quit gymnastics around 4 yrs old to play hockey. I was happy. She was good at it though. My youngest dd however is petite and begged and begged for a solid year to go back to gymnastics. She loves it! And I know the commitment is crazy and I am not looking forward to it.

I am also worried about hockey since my 5 yr old only plays locally. I don't even want to think what happens if she plays travel in a few years.

I complain often that kids are pressured by the natural progression of the sports to early. It seems most kids are already down to 1 or 2 things year round by the time they are out of elementary school. No one plays outside, where most of us probabaly got to play every sport, any day of the week.

 

[pooh4evr]

our current schedule-

DD6- Monday soccer 1 hour DD4- Monday Soccer 1 hour
Tuesday comp/ dance 1an 1/2 hours Tues- Dancew 1 hour
Wed. PSR Wed Piano 30 min

They both have a soccer game on the weekend- dance lasts until June as does PSR piano is always and Soccer ends in Nov. the older one is in forst grade and the younger is in preschool mwf full day.

 

[WantToGoNow]

My ds6 has school (1st grade), church (Awana clubs where he has to do activities/memorization) and then one sport at a time (soccer, t-ball or basketball).

Dd3 has the same church club as ds (just with easier work) and tumbling.

At times, even those, are overwhelming. Ds has homework every night, extra speech homework 2x a week - add in the studying for church every night and 1 or 2 practices or games and it's quite a bit. Dd's tumbling is during the day where my older dd (my child care provider) takes her.

I am not really looking forward to them getting older and wanting to be in even more activities.

T.

 

[My2Cinderellas]

We finally hit overload this fall. Both girls take dance, piano lessons, sing in church choir and are in Girl Scouts (twice a month). Both begged to play soccer again, we signed them up in the parks/rec league which is much more laid back than the local soccer club.

However, the soccer has pushed us over the edge. I love the extra physical activity they are getting, but it comes at the expense of family sanity. Depending on the game times, it is hard to get anything done on Saturday, and the practices are during the dinner hour which bugs me too. 2 more weeks and we are back to normal. DH was pushing for the girls to sign up for basketball but I am very glad both said "no".

 

[Elmo888]

I thought that I had the 2 activity limit, but I realized that I let DD7 have a third with Brownies. However, it is only once a month on Friday afternoons (I just pick her up 1 1/2 hours later from schoool), so it doesn't interfere with much, if anything. I didn't realize that some troops met more. I'm glad that hers doesn't!

She's in soccer and gymnastics, but soccer will end shortly and I only signed her up for gymnastics through December. Nothing is permanent.

And techinically, she has a fourth activity, Destination Imagination, but it hasn't really started and won't until November. By then, soccer will be over. And it will meet right after school, like Brownies.

Also, I only have one chlid in school (my other DD is only 2), so we aren't running around every day.

Limits are good. I really don't want her doing more than 2 days during the week, and, with a few exceptions here and there, I seem to be accomplishing this.

 

[Whosemom]

For us its not so much that any one child has too much, but that the total sucks family time right off the calendar.

 

[Keara'sMom]

I agree with the poster who said that some kids get stressed when they're too busy, while others seem to thrive on group activities. My dd would do just about anything that came her way if given a chance!

We only have one kid, so she can do lots without draining too much family time. Friends of ours have two very athletic children, and they always seem to be running from one sporting event/practice to another! Frankly, with all dd has going on, there currently is only one day that is crazy (both children's choir and dance fall on Tuesdays, with an hour in between for a quick bite to eat). The other days, she's not in anything that's scheduled or organized, until Thursday night basketball starts. What is draining for us is all of the instrument practicing! My dd loves to play her instruments but really dislikes practicing them, so that battle gets a little...well...old after awhile.