OT: Anyone switch car seat early

[anneb9397]

Please don't flame me. I'm just wondering. My DS is 9 months old. He is 23 pounds and 29 inches tall. He screams bloody murder in the car (which we are in a lot!) I can't wait until I'm able to turn him around. I know he'll be happier when he can see all of us. I know all supposed benefits of keeping rear facing longer but I'm just wondering if there is anyone who turned them early.

Thanks!

 

[Twingle]

No flames here, but you really need to follow the laws of your state. In Virginia, the child MUST be one year old AND 20 pounds. They are very strict about it here, with fines and possible jail time, but, it is the law.

Maybe if you had a special toy that was only for in the car? Or, since he's rear facing, maybe one of those baby mirrors on the back of the seat he faces, so he can see you in your rearview mirror? I had those for my twins, and they worked out really well.

Good luck - I know it can be hard to drive with your little one fussing in the back.

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

No flames either but it really is about neck strength/muscle development not about size so I really would try and leave him as long as possible.

My eldest son was a 98th centile+ child (still is at age 5- he's huge compared to his classmates) and we had similar issues but when we looked at it it wasn't worth the risks in the event of a high impact crash, which to be honest we thought were teeny anyway but then he WAS in a high impact crash with my parents and thankfully he was rearfacing!!! - he had mild whiplash and a bruise on each temple which is amazing when I know he had to be bought out of the car through a window as there wasn't enough door left to open!- was a very, very bad wreck.

So if possible I would leave him until 1+ as even though he has the size the muscle development in the neck isn't more advanced due to that.

What type of seat do you have him in? An infant one or a stage 0-1+ seat which can be rear facing too? We found our son was happier in the "big" seat rear facing than he ever was in the infant seat- he was higher up and could see out of the windows. We also invested in a variety of toys (a toy car bar, dangling animals, rag books etc) which we rotated to keep him interested in the car.

 

[kt_mom]

No flames at all here. DD birthday was mid March and I turned her around in mid January. I guess she was probably a little over 10 months old and I believe she was a little over 20 pounds. She was so much happier once she could see me and see what was going on. But you have to decide what's right for you. Maybe talk to your Dr. first. They will probably tell you to wait though.

 

[mickeylove2]

I switched to a forward facing car seat before my DD turned 1 and didn't regret it. It was a choice that I made, you are the parent, as long as you knows the laws of your state and you feel your child is physically able to face forward....well you get my point.

 

[wilderness01]

No flames either, but please follow the rules of your state. Those rules are for safety and put in place for a reason. Good luck.

 

[Schmeck]

You parents of little ones have it so hard now! My girls are now 14 and 16 yrs old, so it's been quite a while since I dealt with car seats. Both my girls were facing forward by 5 months, in booster seats at 2 years old, and out of that by age 5. Of course, we had no seatbelts in my car when I was growing up, and I used to like to lie down in the back window bay. Or ride in the back of the truck, or sit on the engine block in the conversion van, LOL!

You've gotten some really great advice here, so I can't think of anything else to add besides my sympathy!

 

[lil mermaid]

I don't know what state you live in, but in some states you cannot legally turn your son around until he is at least one year old.

Still, there are the laws of states, which may differ, but the laws of physics are the same everywhere. Before you decide whether or not to turn your DS forward facing, you really should make an informed decision. There is lots of information on this site http://www.cpsafety.com/articles/stayrearfacing.aspx along with some pretty convincing crash test footage.

 

[all4fun]

No flames here! but please do research why rear facing at this age is so important. Recent research shows that children under the age of two that are f/fing are 5x more likely to suffer serious injury (or worse) in a crash than kids who are rear facing. The AAP actually recommends rear facing to the limit of the convertible car seat (30, 33, or 35lbs in the US, or until there is an inch or less of shell above the head).

A couple of tips that may help your LO be a little happier r/fing...
1) if your LO is riding in a rear facing convertible, and has good head control, the seat can be as upright as he is comfy with. Usually 30-35 degrees. Sometimes babies like to be MORE reclined so if the seat is upright already you might try putting it at a greater recline (no more than 45 degrees though) to see if that helps at all. This site HERE shows how to guestimate a rear facing angle. Also if you click on the words Rear Facing here is a whole section on why rear facing is safest. It has absolutely nothing to do with weight, or whether the feet are touching the back of the seat, or how much head control the baby has, it has everything to do with age and body development.

2) you mentioned that your LO just wants to see you. I suggest getting this mirror here (Baby in Sight Mega Mirror) for your vehicle. This one is extra large, and was recommended by another parent on a car safety tips board who had similar issues w/their infant, and the mirror resolved 99% of the problem.

3) Have you tried Music in the car? you might try singing a familiar song or playing a "favorite" CD. Calming childrens music, or whatever works!

4) soft books and/or toys for him to look at.

5) whenever possible, have someone ride in the back seat w/him.

6) Maybe try a different seating position. If he's in the middle move him outboard. If he's on the side move him to the middle or other side (provided you can get a good install of course).

7) make sure the sun isn't in his eyes. There is film like this you can buy that sticks to the inside of the windows that is safe to use. someone on another board also suggested this car seat canopy made by combi.

8) snacks like Gerber puffs that he only gets in the car (I mention those because while not the healthiest, they melt in the mouth).

9) make sure the straps are adjusted properly - for rearfacing they should be At or below the shoulders. If the crotch strap is adjustable make sure it's in the most comfortable position. The harness should be as snug as a hug, but not so tight it's pushing down on the child (just should not be able to pinch any at the shoulder blade). Make sure the harness straps are not rubbing on the neck. Also since it's winter - don't dress the child in fluffy jackets or outerwear. Those can compress in a crash and cause the harness to be too loose, but also they might cause the child to be too warm once the car warms up. Dress in thin layers, and micro fleece works really well in car seats. A blanket over the top keeps the child warm when needed and is easy to remove. fluffy clothing can restrict movement too.

10) Sometimes at this stage LO's feet will touch the back of the vehicle seat which is NOT a safety concern - but it may make them a little annoyed if they can't figure out where to put their feet. Maybe gently show him how to bend his legs or different ways he could put his feet straight on the back of the vehicle seat or "froggy" style. See this photo album of older kids r/fing and you can get some ideas there.

10) If your vehicle has adjustable seatbacks in the back seat (ie some SUV's and mini van back seats can be reclined somewhat) you might try reclining the vehicle seatback a notch or two to give the child more leg room (make sure you can't move the car seat side to side more than an inch when you do this).

11)lastly you may want to invest in some good earplugs. J/K!!

I hope some of these tips help!

 

[Colinsmom]

I won't hide it - I'm a proponent of extended rear-facing; both of my boys RF'd until well past two years old. But that doesn't change the truth of my response (from my personal experience, as always, YMMV).

But I hated it when they had to turn forward. Suddenly, they were dropping toys left and right since they didn't have such a big "lap" to hold them in. They were whining because their legs were dangling uncomfortably. They could seeing everything I was drinking or snacking on and wanted it for themselves, lol. And I have to imagine that a littler one may not be comfortable in such an upright position. I just don't think that it will necessarily be the magic solution that the OP craves.

However, I agree that if he is in an infant seat, get him out into a roomier convertible seat. I moved both of my boys into convertibles well before they hit the limits of their infant bucket, and both were so much happier sitting higher, seeing out the windows, with more shoulder and elbow room.

 

[lindsmom]

I totally empathize with you. Our daughter, when facing backwards, would scream from the moment we got in the car until we got out of it. She wouldn't fall asleep (obviously she didn't get the new baby manual ) and NOTHING could distract her. Unless I rode next to her, which wasn't practical if I was DRIVING!

Her head was near the top of the convertible seat, and she had fine head control, so I didn't feel in the least bit guilty turning her at 9 1/2 months. She was happier and more peaceful (she even SLEPT in the car ) and it resulted in a happier and more focused driver, something else to keep in mind.

As long as you're not breaking any laws, I say follow your parental instincts and you'll feel better. Like another person mentioned, I used to slide back and forth on the vinyl seats because the seat belts were so jammed down you could tell they were NEVER used when I was kid. I know, we should appreciate the technology that's available to us. But we also need to temper it with a bit of common sense.

(Bracing for flames)

 

[GoinToDisney]

I believe that the problem with turning them FFing before age 2 is the risk of internal decapitation. Their heads are big relative to their bodies still. I do feel your pain, though. My dd was also, much happier RFing in her boulevard and with a mirror. The Britax seats seem to sit up higher, and she can see more.

 

[MommyBryn]

I totally understand the desire to try something new to ease the screaming!! My DD screamed till she was gagging herself from birth until 16 months!!! It was awful!!! And we lived at least 20 min. from ANYTHING so we always had a ways to go. Nothing helped, and she'd never fall asleep either. Unfortunately, though, turning her didn't make one bit of a difference for us. We tried it at 14 months. Didn't help at all. We just eventually moved (for DH's school) and just rarely drive places anymore, and since we're in the city now it's shorter distances.

 

[disney_family_1247]

I feel your pain. All three of mine hated the carseat with a passion. Anywhere we went with my husband, I rode in the back, but I'm with the kids all day and he works. That meant lots of drives with a screaming baby. I don't know how many places I've stopped to calm down a baby!

That being said, not only is rear-facing until 1 year the law, but it is safer for your baby. I went through that all the time, but what I realized was that I could excuse myself if the baby died as a result of facing forward too soon. My oldest was a tiny baby; she was 18 months old before we could turn her around! Sometimes you just have to do it for the good of the baby.

Just look forward to your son's first birthday; all of my babies really did calm down in the car once they were facing forward! You don't have that much longer to wait.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Nope...Left DGS till he hit the 30lb max for the seat and considered buying a seat that would go to 35 but did not go there. He turned just last week at 30 lb but only 15 mo old. I cried.

Thing is he is not really happier turned. The recline can not be as much facing forward which makes it harder to sleep and because he can see me, he wants to touch me where facing backwards he would go on to sleep. Sometimes if he is awake and happy i do enjoy him facing forward so we can "talk" and sing, But I too know the safety facts and would have left him longer had he fit in that seat any longer.

Our state law (NC) is 20 lbs AND 1 year.


No flames, just how i feel.

 

[alliesmommy]

DD will be a year old on the 13th of next month. She will be ERF until she reaches the limits of her carseat, 30 lbs. She's right at 24 now, so I'm hoping and praying that she has a year to go atleast before I turn her.

She absolutely hates her seat and will cry every time we go anywhere if no one is in the back with her. I was going to turn her at a year (as per the laws here in TX) but I did some research and decided extending her rear facing was really the right decision for us. I'd much rather have a crying baby than the alternative. I realize the chances of being involved in a HI crash are slim to none, but why risk it.

I had no idea that parenting would involve so many decisions....or that there would be so much unsolicited advice from everyone and their dog in my family. Ultimately, DH and I go with our gut (which has not been wrong yet).

 

[PollyannaMom]

No flames here. We turned DS around the weekend of his first birthday and never looked back! (No pun intended) - even thought weight-wise, he could have faced rear longer. He was fine when he was really little, but as he got closer to a year, he hated facing backwards, especially in the dark! - to the point that, as he was a winter baby in New England, we couldn't go anywhere after 4:00pm unless DH was with us and I could sit in back with DS.

Yes, it's a great safety bonus for those who can to face backwards, but sometimes you've got to weigh it against what may be an equally great safety hazzard to have a dangerously distracted driver!

Do try out all4fun's suggestions, and just know lots of us understand and are sending you sympathy!

 

[MommyBryn]

Yes, it's a great safety bonus for those who can to face backwards, but sometimes you've got to weigh it against what may be an equally great safety hazzard to have a dangerously distracted driver!

Ditto that!! While we turned DD at 14 months to see if it'd help, I'm a total extended RF proponent (if the next one is any better in the car s/he'll stay RF to carseat limits), but you still have to weigh the costs of everything (and FWIW, I also know people who talk about their "carseat screaming babies" and their experiences (witnessed by me many times) are NOTHING compared to what I went through with DD, so I could see how for some people it's difficult to understand, KWIM?) For those 16 months, when my baby would be screaming like she did back there, my blood pressure would shoot sky high, I probably spent more time looking in the rearview mirror than on the road, and was just totally distracted, yet when I could only drive places myself (DH works 24-48 hour shifts) if I had to go, I had to go. But even when I DID sit in the back she'd still cry, even if I tried nursing her.

 

[anneb9397]

Thanks for all your replies. I've been on other boards that have been SO much more judgmental. He's been in a convertible seat since 3 months. The infant seat just got too heavy! I actually kept his seat rear facing but reclined less so he was sitting up more and he seems happier now. He can see his sister now. Hopefully that will last 3 more months!

Thanks!

 

[justhat]

I won't flame you, but I will say that my son, who is 17 months and still rearfacing, HATES the car, but that's whether he's rear facing or forward facing. So turning him around may not make a difference at all. Just to see if rearfacing is the reason he fights so hard when getting in his carseat I put him in my daughter's forward facing carseat a few times. He screamed and fought just as much every time. I tried it again Friday and the battle continued.

So my thinking is, since he hates the car anyway, he's staying rearfacing as long as possible. My daughter was 22 months when we turned her around because she met the height requirements on her Roundabout, but I wish we could have kept her that way longer cause she was only 22 lbs.