OT!!Am & right or Wrong?

[Steph9072]

I know this is totally off the topic. I also know I really don't know anybody here, so maybe that is why I am asking about this. I need opinions from people who are not attached or involved.

My sister,brother-in-law & nephew are going to Washington DC this summer. Along the way from here in Indiana they are stopping to pick up my Aunt & Uncle. My sister called today and asked if they could take dd with them. I told her I would have to think about it & talk to dh before I could say yes or no.

Nice offer I know. But about a month or so ago my sister and I had a conversation about how when dd was a bit older I could not wait to take her to D.C. & share the history with her. DD like I is US History & political buff, even at 8. I had told my sister if we did not get there before that I couldn't wait to go with dd's 8th grade class. I know strange destination to share but I can't wait to take my daughter to DC.

Don't get me wrong I love my sister & love that my sister loves my kids as she does. The offer to take Holly is sweet and coming from a good place. But I want to take her myself.

Am I being selfish or do you all think is is okay to say thanks for the offer but no thanks.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

No you are not being selfish. It is something that you want to experience with your child. It is a nice offer but you are under no obligation. I would decline if it was something that I had always wanted to do with my child.

 

[Blessed99]

That is a very generous and nice offer of your sister.

In my opinion, it sounds like something special you and your DD could share together, so I would politely decline the offer. If it were me, I would definately want to be the one to share it with my DD if it meant that much to both of us, maybe it sounds selfish, but it seems that the older our DD's get, its sometimes hard to find a common bond with them.

But what a great sister you have to even offer.

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

I agree with the posters. It was nice of your sister to offer.... thank her, and let her know exactly what you said..that it is a place you always dreamed of visiting for the 1st time with your daughter. I think anyone would understand that, especially phrased just as you wrote in your post.

 

[2disneyboys]

I agree - how awesome of her to offer that, but seeing how it's something you would enjoy together, I would just thank her and tell her that you are excited about taking her there and being with her on her first visit there.

 

[DISNEYNV]

I think you are in the right to feel that way. There are certain activities and places that parents want to do or take their kids to. Some parents dream about this even before they have children, so I don't think it's selfish at all. I think it's normal and if you wish your daughters first trip to DC to be with you then by all means express your feelings to your sister. I bet (especially if she has children herself) that she would understand.

Now, your DD is 8. If she was offered the trip already or knows about the offer from your sister would she be upset to not be able to go? I wouldn't want my DD to be upset with me for not being able to go if she is excited about it. You might feel jealous and you don't want her to pick up on it!

If she does go you would just have to be happy for her trip with her family. I am sure she would have a great time and DC is so huge and there is so much to do I am sure you will be able to share new and wonderful experiences with her when you take her on her class trip. Maybe she would even show you a thing or two about DC

 

[Steph9072]

Holly knows nothing at all about the offer.

After I posted and have been reading your post ihave been thinking. I think I may even tell my sister that when the time comes maybe we could do it as a family vacation. With our folks, her family & mine. That would be a great vacation. Because it's not that I want it to just be Holly & I. I just want to be there.

 

[mjkacmom]

Just make sure you get there before 8th grade. I have a dd in 7th grade, and the last thing she would want is to have me on a class trip! Her choir is singing in Hershey in May, and she can't understand why the family is coming - and we are staying at a different hotel, and promise to just see the performance.

 

[sk!mom]

Just make sure you get there before 8th grade. I have a dd in 7th grade, and the last thing she would want is to have me on a class trip! Her choir is singing in Hershey in May, and she can't understand why the family is coming - and we are staying at a different hotel, and promise to just see the performance.

That's so true. My 7th grade DD is the same way. She looks forward to school and church trips as a chance to be grown up.

To the OP, I don't think there's a right or wrong in this case however if it was a trip that my DD would enjoy and I had no concrete plans to take her soon, then I would let my DD go. I would feel selfish to make her pass up a fun experience bonding with her aunt because I wanted to take her "someday".

Not saying you are selfish just that is how I would feel.

 

[SLK1]

Not selfish at all! You only get one time to see something for the first time, and you should get to experience that with your daughter, especially since you've been thinking about it for so long! I bet your sister will totally understand.

 

[emma'smom]

I may be in the minority, but DC isn't like Disney. It isn't "magical" and there are so many things to do that are all spread out that chances are she won't see everything in one visit and will want to go back for more. Also, when you go back...the same things she sees this time will take on new meaning.

It has been such political year---it just seems like a good year to go to DC and you dd is at a great age for a first visit--and it would give her a good point of reference for further learning before 8th grade (in case you don't get to go sooner). I would let her go...with instructions to come back with ideas for her next trip with you!

 

[DISNEYNV]

Well, if DD doesnt know about the offer then I would just tell your sister that it was nice of her to offer but you would rather go with her to DC. A big family trip there is a good idea. There is so much to see and do it is a good place to visit with a group

Suggest this to her...she most likely would agree.

 

[matthew&haleysmom]

I may be in the minority, but DC isn't like Disney. It isn't "magical" and there are so many things to do that are all spread out that chances are she won't see everything in one visit and will want to go back for more. Also, when you go back...the same things she sees this time will take on new meaning.

It has been such political year---it just seems like a good year to go to DC and you dd is at a great age for a first visit--and it would give her a good point of reference for further learning before 8th grade (in case you don't get to go sooner). I would let her go...with instructions to come back with ideas for her next trip with you!

I agree with this! We just got back from a weekend in DC with DD, 9, & DS, 4. There is so much to do and see there. Since we are only 3 1/2 hours away, we decided that we will start going up for 1 or 2 weekends a year. I don't think we will be able to see everything before the kids graduate!

Good luck with your decision.

 

[Jana49]

Absolutely go with her for her 1st trip to DC at a time that's right for you. This will be a very special, memorable trip, and you need to be a part of this. It's not like she doesn't get to go at all if you don't let her go with your sister. She just has to wait a bit. Then, as you said, you can ask the others to accompany you at that time.

 

[hanutedmansionmomma]

see, now I'd be thinking...who can I get to take the other kid for a few days too? I was always looking for a moment alone when mine were younger...maybe it would be a nice break?

Don't get me wrong, I do love my kids, they've just been in my house for 15 years!

 

[mjmoon]

To the OP, I don't think there's a right or wrong in this case however if it was a trip that my DD would enjoy and I had no concrete plans to take her soon, then I would let my DD go. I would feel selfish to make her pass up a fun experience bonding with her aunt because I wanted to take her "someday".

I bounced back and forth on my opinion on this and I think I'm settling on this POV. Unless I had plans set in stone in the near future.. I'd seriously consider letting her go have a great time.. as hard as that would be without me.

 

[MoniqueU]

Anything could happen between the time you think you can take her and this oppurtunity for her. Illness,finances and all sorts of other things. I would let her go, you never know what the future will hold and it is best to seize oppurtunities as they come along. Also I have been to DC twice and haven't even begun to see 1/10th of what I want to see, just one smithsonian museum could take an entire day. There will be plenty of new experiences for you and her to do together when your trip happens

 

[shruley]

I understand where your coming from, that you would like to be the one to take her. If it were my child and she had the chance to go, and I didn't have concrete plans to take her in the near future, though, I would let her go, even though it would disappoint me. If I knew she really wanted to go, and would have a fabulous time, I wouldn't want to stand in her way of having an amazing experience. My child got to experience some firsts while she was staying with her aunt and we were in the hospital with her sick sister. While I was disappointed at the time, in the end it really mattered very little. It was still special when I did finally get to do those things with her. DC is HUGE and there is so much to do. She could tour tons of stuff, and still go later with you and have a completely different experience. Plus it would still be special because it would be her first time getting to experience it with you. Everyone has to do what's right for their family, you just have to ask yourself what you'd be asking her to give up, versus what you have to gain...

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

Since I was born in DC and live in work in the DC area and am looking at the Washington Monument right now I'll give my opinion.

Can you go on this trip too? If not send her. There is so much to see and do in DC you can never get enough. She will go see so much and she will want to come back with you and see some more.

Since we live here my sons summer camp would hop on the bus and hit museums downtown. It was great when we went downtown that he could take me places and knew so much.

A child knowing and learning more is better. We ride up the Wasington Monument 1 time per year and never get bored. Love seeing the "I have a dream" at the Lincoln memorial.

Let her go, you won't regret it.

 

[fussymonkey]

DC isn't like Disney. It isn't "magical"

Speak for yourself! Every time I'm in DC I am kneeling in the temple of democracy. Patriotism is sacred to me. Standing in the Lincoln memorial is a transformative experience, which I can't honestly say about anything at Disney. Observing a moment of scilence at the wall, watching the changing of the guard at the tomb of the unknown, these are our national sacrements.

That said, I would let my kid go... I wouldn't want her not to have the chance to do something and have fun with her cousins/aunts.

When she goes again with you in a year or two it will be an entirely different experience for her becuase she'll be with someone who can guide her into true apprecation of the history, the meaning and the sacrifice that DC represents.