I am an adoption specialist as well as an adoptive parent here in Oklahoma. I do contract work to help get kids that are currently in the U.S. foster care system adopted primarily but I know a little about private adoption as well. First, read everything you can get your hands on. I would suggest visiting
www.creatingafamily.org/ Dawn Davenport has done an amazing job placing tons of info in one place. There are archived radio shows on every adoption subject you could imagine. She has interviewed the leading experts. This site has a wealth of information.
Once the decision has been made to adopt, there are a variety of different roads you can take. If you want to adopt a newborn or adopt internationally, you will need to locate a reputable agency. Talk to other adoptive families, find out who they worked with, research each agency carefully. There are pubilc records available that can help you find out if this agency has been sued, etc. You will also need to make some decisions about the type of adoption you wish to have. Do you want a completely closed adoption, semi open adoption or a completely open adoption? All of these have their good and bad. Most experts these days reccommend open adoptions. I know several who this has worked for. The children are well adjusted and see adoption as a wonderful and beautiful thing. But I also know families with closed adoptions where the children are the same way.
As for adopting through foster care, it is probably the option with the lowest cost. Most foster care adoptions are free or nearly free. To find out more about foster care adoptions you will want to call your local social services or look at this website
www.adoptuskids.org. There are thousands of legally free children just waiting for families out there. I have adopted through the foster care system and have 3 amazing children. It is harder to adopt an infant through the foster care system but not impossible. I have several cases currently where the child was under 3 when the adoption was finalized and 2 of those cases the child entered the home from the hospital. Of course, the parents in these cases fostered initially and then adopted when the child became legally free. There is some risk in doing this but no more risk than a birth mother changing her mind. If you are looking to adopt an infant, my best advice would be to become a foster parent and state you will only take children under 1 who are legal risk- this means that most likely reunification with the birth family will not be possible. Often infants that are legal risk have several siblings who have already come into care and parental rights have been terminated on the older children which is why they are considered a legal risk placement.
I am sure others will give you all the info on domestic and international infant adoption but if you would like more information about adopting through foster care, feel free to pm me. I will be more than willing to share everything I can.