OT: 1 yr old still doesn't sleep through night.

[tigger2on]

OK.... my son will be 1 on Jan. 12 and we have yet to get a full night's rest out of him. 6 hours once or twice has been his maximum since birth. It is exhausting. We have tried the no-cry solution and the cry-it-out with no luck from either. He just vomits all over with the CIO method and will literally scream for 3 hours and then vomit again.
Any tricks or help would be graciously accepted!!

 

[sheepygirl23]

I dont have any advice for you b/c my DD is only 8 weeks old and I have no idea what Im doing anyway, but have you tried the website TheNest.com? There are many parents on there (mothers mostly) that may have been thru the same thing you are going thru that may be able to give you advice. You need to make up a screen name and everything to post but you mught find it helpful. My BFF is going thru this right now and her DS is 16 months, shes exhausted.

 

[annie1995]

I wish I had some magic advice to give you, but my almost 18 month old still wakes everynight too. All I can give you are {{{{hugs}}}, I know exactly what you are dealing with

 

[brymolmom]

Ok - some questions. What does your ds want when he wakes? Does he eat? Or just need comforting? Also, after the 3 hour screaming night....what happened the 2nd night? I mean - did you continue with your attempt to continue your plan even though it was a HORRIBLE first night? Because the point of CIO is that after the first night - it gets a little better - then a little better again, and so on. IMO you need to try your 'plan' (whatever you choose it to be) for at least a week or two before you give up - even if that means taking vacation time from work. It will be a week of no sleep - for many nights of much better sleep from now on. How long did you try your other solution attempts?

Other thoughts - if he is eating (taking a bottle) -way water down the formula or milk OR just offer water in a sippy cup. He might decide that it just isn't worth waking up if all that he gets is water out of it.

 

[kerrynic78]

I guess we did the CIO method for my 1 year old DD. We would let her cry and go in after 5 minutes and comfort her, then go back in after 10 minutes or so and comfort her. We would keep upping the amount of time until we would go in again. Is this what you did with your son? After about 3 nights, she would go in her crib awake and be able to put herself to sleep.

I know this does not work for everyone, but we were at the end of our rope. She would get up every 3 hours at the age of 9 months so the pediatrician suggested this.

I hope you can find something that works, I know how hard it is to go through this.

 

[SmallWorld71]

I know some people may flame me for this, but have you tried co-sleeping?
I thought I was such a good parent because both my boys slept through the night and never had any real sleep issues. Then along came DD. She had trouble sleeping from the get go and co-sleeping was the only was any of us could get any sleep. Around 3yr. we were able to get her back into her own bed to start the evening (she would come in with us in the middle of the night) then eventually that stopped and she is now in her own bed full time.

Sometimes her brothers would let her sleep in their room and she slept fine there too. With her I think it was less about sleeping and more about security.

 

[MinnieGi]

I remember that complete exhausted feeling day after day, I sympathize completely. My kids are now 7 & 3 and mostly sleep through the night. But at least when they do awake now it is a quick drink of water, going to the potty or hug they need. However they both woke up as babies and toddlers. DS my now 3yo was really a habitual waker every two to three hours at over a year old!!!!!! I was a zombie and a wreck.

Wondering if you nurse your baby to sleep or right before they sleep. I ask this as this was how we started getting DS to sleep longer intervals. I continued to nurse DS before bed, but did not let him fall asleep. Instead DH then came in and did a bedtime routine with him. DS was NOT happy, he wanted mama! But he associated me with nursing and comfort sucking. He in effect would wake in the night and want me to nurse to get back to sleep. So we stopped that cycle by having DH put him to bed AND wake up with him and comfort him to fall back to sleep. It took some doing, but DH never left him and cry it out. He was right there but comforted sometimes sung songs or rocked and got DS back to sleep. Well after a few nights of this DS started stretching out his sleep intervals as he realized mama was not coming!! I continued to nurse him during the day. I think a few weeks in a DS was only waking once at night just for reassurance and then would go back to sleep. We wished we had done it sooner!!!!!

Good luck to you!! You need sleep!!

 

[BerryBeaches]

I know you are exhausted and it seems awful now, but it will not last forever.

I agree with Small World that it may be about security. Your son is trying to tell you something. He needs you and crying is his only way to tell you this. Some kids need more affectioin and reassurance than others. He might be a child who needs to be snuggled, nursed, or rocked during the night. Have you tried bringing him into bed with you when he wakes up?

Sleep can very much be a maturational issue. My DS (4 1/2) was waking several times a night until around his 2nd birthday, when he suddenly started sleeping through the night and has done so every night since. We did not change a thing in our routine.

Also, it's actual pretty normal for kids this age to not be sleeping through the night. Rest assurred that his ability to self-soothe now is not related to his ability to do so in the future (according to research).

 

[disneymarie]

I know some people may flame me for this, but have you tried co-sleeping?
I thought I was such a good parent because both my boys slept through the night and never had any real sleep issues. Then along came DD. She had trouble sleeping from the get go and co-sleeping was the only was any of us could get any sleep. Around 3yr. we were able to get her back into her own bed to start the evening (she would come in with us in the middle of the night) then eventually that stopped and she is now in her own bed full time.

Sometimes her brothers would let her sleep in their room and she slept fine there too. With her I think it was less about sleeping and more about security.

My fourth child never slept throuogh the night, naping only 20 minutes until she went to school. I did start to co-sleep. It was the only nights sleep I got,
If I moved her to her own bed, she ended up with us.,
She is a high anxity/panic child....I was/am also.
Now at 12 she loves to sleep...but can do extremly late nights!
dianne

 

[bumbershoot]

Having a family bed is the only way we have gotten any sleep these 3.5 years. It also forced us to get a king sized bed, which we had been wanting to get for a few years. When a tall kid decides that sleeping perpendicular to you, it's time to get a bigger bed!

But really, the family bed and extended nursing are what worked for us in getting sleep. It also helped him get out of diapers early, because I was right there when he started squirming, needing to pee, and I could swoop him up to the potty, instead of him peeing in his dipe then crying to get a change, then waking himself totally up during that process.

 

[LJRJR]

I agree with what everyone has said here. In my opinion, there is no "right" way to get sleep issues under control. My children are getting older they are 7, 5 and 3. The "letting them cry" method I feel can work, however not for three hours, even if you comfort them every 15 minutes or so. I agree with the co-sleeping, because maybe for some reason your child really needs to have you near him, when I worked when my first child was born, she would sleep with us, because if she didnt I would never have gotten any sleep. I would always initally put her down in her crib, and if she woke up, I would bring her into my room. When my children got older and moved into a real bed that made nighttime so much easier, because if they needed me, I would be able to spend time with them in their own rooms, until they fell asleep. If you can get a child to go to sleep, on their own without too many issues, go for it. I did the co-sleeping with only my oldest, maybe she needed it becuase I worked at the time, and yes, we did try the "letting them cry method", and she cried for hours, until I gave up. Good luck finding what works for you.

 

[CarolinesMom]

I have been extremely lucky with both of my children. They both slept through the night by 8 weeks. What worked for us was Happiest Baby on the Block. It was truely a miracle. I have never seen anything like it.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

My 2 year-old is the same. She's never even come CLOSE to sleeping through the night. A typical night is 5-10 nightwakings, an insanely good night is 2-3 nightwakings (this is rare). We've tried NCCS (what a joke), CIO (somewhat worked for like 3 weeks, then stopped working), and everything else you can think of. Nothing has worked. She's had her adenoids out. It helped, in that she went from sleeping 10 minutes at a stretch to sleeping 30-45 minutes at a stretch. Benadryl (recommended by ped.)...did nothing.

Right now, we're focused on the fact that DD's reflux may not be under control. She's on 15mg of Prevacid, spaced out in 2 doses every day. She is coughing and hiccuping a lot (reflux symptoms for her), and we think that either her dosing is wrong or else she's having breakthrough issues at night. Even if we get this under control, I still expect her to wake up multiple times at night, though. I wish that I had some advice, but anyone who would take child sleep advice from me would have to be insane. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

If you can get a child to go to sleep, on their own without too many issues, go for it.

I think that "going to sleep on their own" is a fallacy. My DD goes to sleep on her own in her own space every night. If she sleeps an hour after that, we're very lucky. Going to sleep on her own doesn't buy me any more sleep than nursing her to sleep did. She knows how to go to sleep on her own. She knows how to "resettle". Eventually, I've started to think that SOMETHING is waking her up. I think it might be medical at this point.

 

[Mkrop]

DS5 did not sleep through the night until he was a couple months shy of 3. I was a walking zombie. CIO did not work for us at all and I am very oppose to it.

DS5 was diagnosised with Sensory integration dysfunction. He was not getting proper feedback to his nervous system and would bang the sides of the crib with his legs. When he did sleep with us he needed to be up against one of us constantly.

We tried many things, many would only work for like a two week strecth and then it was like his body adjusted back.

You can see if any of these work for your kid: massage with bedtime lotion, hair scrunchies on his feet.

The two things that finally worked and continued to work and yes I was ready to kiss the pediatrician who suggested it. Get rid of the night light!!!!!! This was causing my light sleeper to wake bc it was playing with his eyes. If you need to get him to sleep that is ok but then unplug but keep the room as dark as possible. I couldnt believe it worked!!!!!

The other thing was a weighted blanket, nothing special just a heavy waffle weave blanket, this too gave his nervous system the proper feedback.

He has been sleeping great ever since, we have a few nights every couple of months but NOTHING like we did before. I mention that some of this could be medical so talk to your ped.

We were on the waiting list for Dupont Children's hospital sleep clinic when all of this fell into place.

Good luck.

 

[Mkrop]

I think that "going to sleep on their own" is a fallacy. My DD goes to sleep on her own in her own space every night. If she sleeps an hour after that, we're very lucky. Going to sleep on her own doesn't buy me any more sleep than nursing her to sleep did. She knows how to go to sleep on her own. She knows how to "resettle". Eventually, I've started to think that SOMETHING is waking her up. I think it might be medical at this point.

google sensory integration dusfunction. I have read that kids with reflux sometimes have this as well. She doesnt have to have all the "issues" to have it.

DS5 had the sleep, the textures (only would eat crunchy foods) and he would slap harder when he walked to get that feedback in his legs, he has outgrown most except the loud noises issue.

GL

 

[puffkin]

I have no real advice because my son has been sleeping through since 10 weeks. However, kids that old don't need to be fed at overnight....if that is an issue, I would definitley start gradually watering down the formula/milk until it is just water.

My son was sick about 14 months old and we were giving him Pedialyte overnight to help with dehydration and he started expecting it even when he was better. It took about a week of watering it down and then he figured why even bother if all I am getting is water. He was back to sleeping straight through again.

 

[bellebud]

another family-bedder here... just wanted you to know it's not at all unusual for a 1yo to not be sleeping through the night. It's probably more the norm than a lot of parents want to admit. My dd8 first slept through the night at 18 months old (and only once in a while then), but ds6 slept through at a few months old. The only different thing I did was dd didn't full time sleep w/ us till a bit under a year - because I was nervous about the blankets and rolling on her, etc. When ds came along, I was no longer nervous and he literally slept in my arm from day 1, including in the hospital. He's my "sleeper", and can fall asleep w/ or w/out me today, whereas dd still wants to be attached to my uterus!

And dd didn't really sleep "good" through the night till 5 years old (i'm not kidding!) She's a tosser/turner, sleep talker/laugher, wakes easily, etc. Whereas ds is out like a light in minutes, for the whole night. Who knows what makes them like this... my ped used to say it's the first-born thing - because the parents are more nervous, the kids are always 'crazier' (his words, not mine). He said it about his own kids too. But in this thread, someone's 3rd child was the problem sleeper, so i think it's just luck.

Do what you feel comfortable doing... you know your child best. Try to evaluate the 'why' of his waking... waking for comfort, to me, is ok, and i'd comfort my child (just my personal opinion). BUT you all need sleep too. Crying for 3 hours then vomiting is a little too much for me, but i'm really a wimp too w/ this stuff.

My friend did part-time family bed. There are so many things you can do without doing any extreme (the extremes being cio, full-time family bed, etc). Can you put him down in his crib? What time does he go down? My dd couldn't sleep more than 6 hours at a clip till way older (like 4 or 5 years old)... if I got her to sleep at 8 or 9pm, she'd be up at 3am wanting to do crafts (she was old enough to ask to do crafts!). Her bedtime was with us at 11pm because of this. Then she napped during the day. My friend also bought her dd a full size bed so she or dh could lay w/ dd in her own bed, own room, as she got older, to wean her from their bed. It's a rare child who can just go down easily alone in their own room and sleep all night alone. In real life, I know of very few like this.

Good luck!

 

[Manda]

My son didn't sleep through the night until 18 months. He'd wake crying for me and I'd nurse him back to sleep. It was quicker and easier to just do that then try to "break" him of the night waking. At 18 months though, I realized that he understood words we were saying to him enough to try to reason/explain with him that he needed to go back to sleep. So, I sent DH in instead to explain to him that Mommy was night night. He sounded all sad, but then he said, "Mommy, night night?" And DH told him yes, and that he needed to be night night, too. It was like a little lightbulb went on over his head where he realized that Mommy was sleeping, too, and not off having a party without him. It took a couple nights of DH reminding him that I was sleeping and he slept through the night ever since.

 

[jodifla]

I think that "going to sleep on their own" is a fallacy. My DD goes to sleep on her own in her own space every night. If she sleeps an hour after that, we're very lucky. Going to sleep on her own doesn't buy me any more sleep than nursing her to sleep did. She knows how to go to sleep on her own. She knows how to "resettle". Eventually, I've started to think that SOMETHING is waking her up. I think it might be medical at this point.

Not sure why you think it's a "fallacy". The point is, when the child wakes up in the middle of the night, you want them to have the skills and comfort level to put themselves back to sleep without you.

I read something interesting a couple of years ago. Seems that kids of most single parents don't have the sleep issues that kids of couples have. The study's authors postulated that single parents simply couldn't keep up the rockings and other things that families can do with more than one adult.

This played out in our own house. DS was doing pretty well sleeping long stretches, but when DH had to leave town for a week, and I was on my own with a 6 week old, he was sleeping through the night by the end of the week. I was SO tired, I was sleeping through his crying. By the end of three nights, it had stopped.