Opinions Please

[brockash]

Hi,
I had a situation tonight with my DS-6 that I really wasn't prepared for and would like any opinions or thoughts. My DS is 6 and in first grade. He goes to a school that my mom and sister both teach at. He's gone there since he was in preschool (this is his 4th year.) He feels very comfortable at the school and walks around very confident because he knows almost all the teachers ect. Every teacher he's ever had has loved him and complimented on how well he listens, behaves ect., but he did something today that really concerns me, and I'm not sure the best way to handle it. My sister takes him and my nephew to karate after school, and they change in her classroom area (preschool.) Tonight I was going through his backpack, and found 2 little plastic animal type things. I asked him where they came from and he told me from the preschool room So my 6 year old stole from his old teachers (and his aunt's -she's an aid there) classroom. I was totally shocked and not prepared for it. Theyre very small cheap things, but that's obviously not the point. I explained to him that it was not okay, and that it's stealing and we had a discussion about it ect. I asked him why he did it, and he said because he really liked them, to which I replied it still was not okay, that's not an excuse ect. He didn't get a snack tonight, had to go straight to bed after dinner, and will be apologizing to the teacher tomorrow when he hands them back to her. I also told him tonight that he needed to pick 2 of his toys, and we are going to give them to charity. I'm just not sure what is the best way to teach him the lesson and for him to really "get it" so he never does anything like this again. I think he did truely feel bad at the very least that I was dissappointed in him, but I'm not sure if he really honestly feels bad for taking them or more just upset that he got caught ect. We talked about how would you feel if someone stole something from you ect. and of course he said he wouldn't like it, but I just want to the best thing to make sure he doesn't do anything like this again. He really is usually a very good kid and does behave very well, which I also told him and I told him that sometimes ppl. make mistakes, but they have to learn from them and not do them again... Anyone have any experience with this type of behavior? with this age of a child ect? I'd love to hear any opinions, thanks!

 

[amandaraye]

I think you've handled it beautifully! I love the idea of having your DS give something up. I'll have to remember that. I think that will REALLY drive the lesson home!

I went through this with my little brother when he was this age and my DS6 also took something recently from Borders bookstore...same as your DS...it was a tiny little toy. I told my DS either he could go back in there on his own or the police officer nearby (who was really just a security guard) could bring him back to the store. I hauled my DS back in that store and made HIM tell the cashier he took it without paying and apologize. Thankfully the cashier didn't do the "oh, it's ok little boy, no big deal" routine. She played along and took it very seriously. Thanked him for returning it but stressed he would NOT be welcome in her store if he did it again.

Again, I think you handled the situation well! I hope tomorrow when he has to return the trinkets and apologize he realizes what he did was wrong.

I think this is something they try to do and get away with at this age so I wouldn't be too concerned. Good luck tomorrow!

 

[richmond282]

I think it sounds like you handled it well. I think your punishment seems fair. I'm not sure what else you can do to drive the point home. I would let it go at that unless it happens again.

 

[jfranklyn]

I think that you're reaction was justified, and your actions after the fact were appropriate. I think he'll get the point. I would try not to make too big a thing out of it, though, in your own head. He's only 6, and the fact that he spends ALOT of time at this place, he probably thinks of it as an extension of home, and decided to take them without really thinking about how it would look.

For what it's worth, my husband is the pastor of a small church, and my kids spend a TON of time there to say the least. On more than one occasion, they've come home with things that they played with in the nursery, and stuck in a pocket or something. Never sinister intentions, just sort of an extension of "home".

I think with all that you are doing to deal with this one instance, he'll get the point. Don't be too hard on him.

 

[Nanu57v]

I think you handled it well!

 

[brockash]

Thank you for the responses. It makes me feel better, and hopefully it's just something kids go through. He's my first, so everything's new. I think part of it did have to do with how comfortable he feels there, but I also know he knew it was wrong. He was acting very suspicious about his backpack when he first got home, so I knew something was going on before I even went through it (usually I have to get the backpack and get his folders out myself, but tonight he volunteered to get his folders out and made a point to be the one to put them back.) Thanks for all of your supportive words, they've made me feel better, and hopefully it's nothing that continues.