Opinions needed Did he overreact (long sorry)

[kaylajr]

OKay first the background
DH and i have tried to get MIL and FIL to WDW for 6 years but due to FIL health issues it never happened Well DFIL passed away last fall and we invited WHOLE family to go to WDW this Oct with us we would pay for the house. All said No we can't Fine we plan the trip just us 4 and MIL then SIL says our nephew can go Great the girls and him get along great so we plan on a good time then SIL and her DH decide they will come OK change of plans AGAIN ( we already moved the date to accomadate a trip MIL was taking with SIL)

so all along i ask for input but SIL says no you plan we will follow along with you Again OK

just for info we are paying 100 % of MIL trip this means so much to DH she always does things with sil and DH brothers but this is truly a first for us but it really is not all about the money

now we are 14 days out everything planned all PS set
and SIL calls she wants to take MIL and go see John Edwards in TAmpa on our first day at the park WHAT??!! i have CRT booked for all 8 the whole first day planned since MIL and Nephew have never been we put a bunch of special ideas into day 1 and now she wants to bail which fine whatever but don't take MIL

well DH snapped she didn't want to be involved in planning and now that it is set she wants to change it
he says we didn't buy MIL tickets so she could take off with SIL
he was pretty upset

this is a pattern MIL will be Fine with something until SIL voices her opinion and thatn WOW MIL suddenly has a change of heart

SO do you think he should have been upset or not??

Just looking for opinions Thanks

 

[Otto's Doll]

Your husband has every right to be upset. Is it possible for you to talk to his mom and tell her what you posted, about how much it means to him, and that HE has planned special things? I am aware that YOU probably did most of the planning, but might it be more effective if she thought he did it all? Sending you hugs, I know how tough it can be!

 

[Pooh67_68]

Originally posted by kaylajr
do you think he should have been upset or not??

Just looking for opinions Thanks

Short and to the point. he has every right to be upset.

 

[DoeWDW]

Yes, I think he has every right to be upset, but in fighting this battle will you lose the war? Will MIL and SIL be grumpy the whole trip because they didn't get to do what they wanted on Day 1?? Only you know the answer to this one. I'd talk to SIL and convince her that your Day 1 plan is fun and exciting - sounds like MIL will go along with whatever SIL wants to do.

Best wishes!

 

[Serena]

Oooh, I was so there and I was very upset. So I agree, your husband has every right to be upset when someone isn't interested enough to help plan, but want to change things at the last minute.

 

[missyc]

Unless she already knows, I wouldn't involve MIL. She should just
be along for the ride! But I WOULD let SIL know that this is YOUR trip with MIL. She (SIL) was invited, but plans have been made to make things special for your family and MIL. You said SIL & MIL have taken trips together before, but not your husband. Just nicely remind her of that and ask her to try not to arrange extra things this trip, it's all taken care of.

Good luck!

 

[gr8tpanther]

Originally posted by Pooh67_68
Short and to the point. he has every right to be upset.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

He has every right to be angry. Shame on the SIL!

If I were in your shoes I would "suck it up", sounds like you have no choice. You know the MIL & SIL's ways and you thought you could escape them. (HA! Not a chance, right?)

The alternative is to fight tooth and nail with SIL and that is just NOT a good plan to do prior to vacation. I have seen time and again this being a relatonship destroyer of epic proportions.

The bright side is she will be with you the rest of the trip, right?

 

[orvilleair]

Your DH should be upset.
* You said that MIL tends to spend time with SIL and DH's siblings. This is your time with MIL not SIL's. Maybe SIL is a little jealous.
* A PS at CRT with MIL and her grandkids. I can't think of any more magical place to be on the first day. Great memories for everyone. We went with the inlaws this year, and couldn't get into CRT. It broke my wife's heart. Had to settle for the Garden Grill lol.
* You and your DH are the leaders of this tour, and it's normal to get flack. You can't make everyone happy.
* Kudos to you and your DH for inviting your SIL. That was a nice gesture.

 

[SC Minnie]

I am sure your MIL will have another opportunity to see Edwards. Why don't you ask your SIL to plan one of hers and your MIL special trips to just see him shen it does not interfere with your vacation plans that are already set.

 

[Shugardrawers]

I agree, totally out of line for your SIL. To your advantage, if she doesn't already have tickets for John Edward, she won't get them. He sells out right away. I've tried for 2 years now to get them and every time he's anywhere within a 200 mi radius he's already sold out before I even find out about it.

 

[RickinNYC]

Something that may not be said here is does your SIL intend to bring her Mom to see John Edwards in the hope that she can/will communicated with her recently departed husband? If so, then I would personally do my absolute best to dissuade SIL from doing this only because when Edwards speaks these days, it's in a conference center with thousands of others in the audience. The likelihood of your MIL being chosen is zero to none. This could very well end up putting a huge damper on the rest of the trip, WDW notwithstanding.

Nevertheless, you should not pull your MIL into the mix on this decision. If you or your husband can have a civil conversation with your SIL about the plans that you have made, she should be adult enough to realize her error. If she does not, appeal to her sense of decency. And if she still does not, she has shown her true, very selfish colors and I would personally right her off as a loss. SIL or not, who needs someone like that in your life?

 

[kaylajr]

Thanks everyone i will show DH the thread hopefully it will make him feel better

I seriously hope SIL is not thinking that she will be able to contact FIL that would be setting herself and MIL up for major disappointment cause as was said the chances of them getting picked are next to none

SIL always does things like this
right after FIL died my BIL (not her DH) was taking MIL out for a car shopping trip to buy her a good car well SIL convinced her to go before BIL was out of work and she spent WAY TO MUCH $$$$ on a car

we have grown acustom to this most times but i really wanted WDW to be a special memory

Unfortunatly SIL called MIL about confrence before she called us
but DH calmed down and talked to his mom and explained our feelings so i think it will be OK with her

SIL was going to back out of trip but that would just make MIL sad and such a waste of money and not fair to nephew who is 10 so
we are going to make the best of this

thanks again for the support