Operation Big Thunder: the Dole Whip Conspiracy COMPLETE

[afwdwfan]

So which is it? You need to pick a final answer.

I was referring to the hole in one part.

And if it's intended as the lie, would I admit to it in the chapter?

You already said something earlier about not being the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Loved this chapter! From the redneck wineglasses to the redneck shades and all of the golf commentary in-between. Not to mention the super-easy quotes I missed because I was busy working.

I hope you're not too upset. You still have more points here than I do in the Judy contest.

Are you kidding? I could tell just from your pants.

You know what the difference between you and me is? I make this look good.

If he'd been able to find Van Gogh's ear, he'd a had a whole set.

What? Too soon? Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Nope, not too soon at all.

And the lie is that you hit a tee shot to within 10 feet of the pin. Your putts didn't get to 10 feet from the pin.

Ouch! We did have to finish eventually, you know.

It might be helpful for you guys to know that I've been playing this game for over 20 years, had many lessons, and even shot in the high 70's a handful of times.

Over 18 holes, smarty-pants.

Great update! A whole bunch of golf quotes going on in there. lol

Detecting a theme there, did you?

We just bought two of those redneck wine glasses (the actual glass ones) for my sister-in-law in Michigan. Of course, here in Georgia they are called Southern Wine Glasses. I want a couple for myself, actually.

I would totally use those! Well, maybe not the Red Solo cups. I doubt they're dishwasher-safe.

Now, which part is the lie?

I'm thinking......I'm going to go with Dave becoming a ghost because, well, I would hope that you would have a lot more feeling about your child deciding to become a ghost than to just say "he became a ghost".



Sorry, I find myself funnier than everyone else does.

I have that problem, too. We're peas in a pod!

I was really going to say that the lie was that your shot hit about 10 feet from the pin, but I wanted to be nice.

I love how nobody thinks the part about me hitting it into the water is the lie.

That's a great question. I'll have to check the time stamp.

I'm guessing this is a lie! Any course that looks fun from the highway doesn't need to give out UB40 $1 off coupons to drum up business.......

They do when there's a mini-golf course on every street corner in Myrtle Beach!

Sounds like what happened in some of those Olympic diving events!!!

Lie! With your golf game, you have no chance to play real golf........

Hmm...I hadn't thought of that.

Okay, guessing this is a lie. Knowing this course is on the opposite side of Hwy 17 from the ocean, and you were close enough to see the ocean, I will guess it was more than "barely a mile drive."

I measured the distance from our rental home to the golf course entrance on Hwy 17 on Google maps. And I came up with...

Well, that would be telling.

Hmmmm, if that water gets much lower you will be able to walk on dry land all the way to that island green!!!

At least I'd be able to find more golf balls.

Okay Mr. Poopy Pants, in your case when you take a mighty rip you are usually bent over a little with a grimace on your face!!! And it isn't IN the hole....................well, not any longer anyway!!!

I didn't go to Taco Bell for lunch that day.

Seriously? I would hope it was at least Mark's Buddies-6(pack), Snooty Golf Course-0

Lie! You know good and well that you begged them to go with you so you had an excuse not to go shopping..........

Maybe I wanted a sharktooth necklace too.

Except for your buds who were behind you when you took that mighty rip.........

Hey, Dave did it too.

Would tend to agree with this............unless we are talking about the mini-golf where the hole is only 10 feet from the tee box...........

Just how bad do you think I am?

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Didn't intend this as a quote...and couldn't find it on imdb.

It's in there, but it's also a stretch.
I agree with tossing that one out.

our situation has not improved.

This however is from:
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade



(and a slight variation is in POTC-I)

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

You know what the difference between you and me is? I make this look good.

Men In Black

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Take in some of local museums, historic sites and other cultural offerings?

Pshaw. What kind of TR do you think you're reading here?

Hay… you stopped at “South of the Boarder”
You’ve seen worse…

We barely escaped with our lives!

The Grand-Strand equivalent of scoring extra fast passes
(but these save money rather then time).

Score!

We were eternally grateful, nonetheless.

Pretty decent of them for a Fancy-Pants Establishment

That’s more like it… “Arrogantly Shabby”

We set 'em straight on that one.

Either the lie in this update is hidden very well or I’m over thinking it…
(and I suspect it’s option two there). That being the case, I’m going with this passage here.

Not the bit about the Eagles, they do have a tendency to vanish like a fart in the wind. No it’s the bit about the threatening weather. Based on your pictures form as early as the third hole, either the sky cleared up mightily quick or it was a perfectly sunny day to begin with and you just needed a way to work another golf movie quote in there.

It was either this on or the bit about being 10 feet from the pin after a tee shot...
but calling that one as BS just seemed a bit harsh

Interesting guess. I wonder if any of these pictures came from before the round?

Apparently not one person thinks I've ever hit a shot a mere 10 feet from the pin.

As for the Eagles vanishing like a fart in the wind: nothing left but some rocks on the windowsill. And that cupcake there on the wall. Let's ask her, maybe she knows!

What say you there, fuzzy-britches? Feel like talking? Aw, guess not. Why should she be any different?

This is a conspiracy, that's what it is.

Nicely played sir!

Defective?

Obviously something was wrong with those balls. They wouldn't go where I wanted them to. Barry and I have done extensive research, and we feel 95% of golf balls are actually defective.

Is there such a thing as an inappropriate shirt on a par-3 in the Carolinas?

Probably not. I was still scarred from the snooty course.

Heck, if he’d taken the shirt off and turned the visor around backwards he’d have been all set for a local news cast interview about the UFO he just done seen.

Word’s of wisdom right there folks.

You didn't bring me along for my charming personality.

And those are some really fun images.
Thanks for sharing them.

Thanks!

11 battle stars, 3 armed conflicts, multiple airborne attacks, survived typhoons and hurricanes; honored to have been part of the Apollo Recovery fleet…

I think “The Lady” is tough enough to take it.

I'm scared to write this chapter, because I'm worried you're going to correct me on everything.

Love reading your review - can't wait for the surprise part! I am surprising my husband (sort of a kid in an adult's body), so looking forward to the tips!

You're leaving in 2 weeks? I'm not sure I'll get to the surprise by then. My tips: misdirection and distraction!

LOVE LOVE LOVE the red solo cup. For some reason it made me think of Barry. Don't ask me why?

Ok.

Why?

What a fun, although pricey, day. My oldest son would LOVE that golf course. He has a bad habit, however, of losing many defective balls on some days.

Well, when 95% are defective, it seems unavoidable.

Looks like the kids were having a good time at the mini-golf; and I love the glows on the beach.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Interesting guess. I wonder if any of these pictures came from before the round?

It’s possible…
maybe even likely…
and I should probably change my mind…

But I think I’ll stick with that one
(if for no other reason then to punish myself for over thinking things ).

nothing left but some rocks on the windowsill. And that cupcake there on the wall. Let's ask her, maybe she knows!

What say you there, fuzzy-britches? Feel like talking? Aw, guess not. Why should she be any different?

This is a conspiracy, that's what it is.

Shawshank Redemption

(but being as I kind’a goaded you into that one, I probably don’t deserve the point ).

I'm scared to write this chapter, because I'm worried you're going to correct me on everything.

Naaaaa… I’ll be good.
Scouts Honor.

 

[glennbo123]

We barely escaped with our lives!

Delta Farce?

You didn't bring me along for my charming good looks

Die Hard

 

[DisDadDoc]

Nice TR, Mark! I'm too slow to get in on the points the day of, but I'll tag along anyway...

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Outfit the British Army with pasty white uniforms and hope you follow suit?

Sounds expensive. Besides, "Captain Oblivious White" is really too blinding for practical use.

Untrue. I find it hard to believe that at no time did a hammock come into your field of view.

We may have seen a hammock, but did not look to purchase one. Rather than a letter of the law/spirit of the law debate, I can assure you there is another rather bold-faced lie in the chapter.

The Oblivious went 3 for 3 in awesomeness on the day!

Hmmm...no final scores were posted, which can only mean one thing.

How bad did Julie beat you, Mark?

Oh, I always win. I figured that was old news.*

*Please ignore this statement in future chatpers of this TR.

Meh. That's just South Carolina water (which appears to be dyed blue). It's not Nile water. Or Amazon water. Or whatever river you're on when you see the backside of water.

I didn't think of that. It's amazing how those big rivers from different continents all flow into each other.

Mark, the twilight rate if for after 4:00. If you booked a 4:00 tee time, you're clearly not after 4:00. Rookie mistake.

Joke's on them. They charged me the twilight rate. Suckers!

Yes, clean, refreshing, overpriced, liability-free beer.

To alcohol! The cause of--and solution to--all of life's problems!

HA! It's funny because it's TRUE! (The Eagles part. I have no idea about the weather part. Maybe you should throw a battery at the cloud...)

Sadly, it is true.

Wow, even the camera can't keep up with the speed of your swing. Does that mean you're going faster than the speed of light?

You can see from the picture--I've gone PLAID!

I can help you with that. 8 lessons at $95 each with me and you'll be snap hooking that tee shot 75 yards left into the pond.

I told you about the sign I once found deep in the woods on a Disney golf course before, didn't I?

The student had become the teacher. Well done.

When I left, I was but the learner, now I am the master.

And excellent golf course pictures. Looks like a great day!

A bad day of golf beats a good day at the office.

Why were Julie and Sarah shopping for a shark-tooth necklace? Do you have any pictures of it? Was it for Julie or for Sarah? What kind of shark did it come from? What color is it? Is it on a chain or a string? Does it still smell like fish? Is it sharp? Are there any vegetarian sharks that have molars?

Because Sarah saw ads all over the place for them, No, Sarah, a Land Shark, off-white, string, no, not really, do I look like the Encyclopedia Britannica to you?

What's inappropriate about the shirt? It's FreezinRafiki Approved!

I still had the snooty golf course on my mind.

There's a difference? Besides being sober for one, I mean...

That's great, but one small question:
Where the H E Double Hockey Sticks is her ARM?

I TOLD you not to ask about the shark necklace!!

Sorry Mark. Walmart bags would be Redneck. Trader Joe's is not.

Is it more of a hillbilly window shade then? My Walmart bags were all white and plastic, so they wouldn't have done much.

Seems like lots of things remind you of me, Kathy.

What else?

yikes. My kids argued about that one constantly but you know, cooking it into the skin before jumping in does help it have a chance at working.

I think I need to take notes.

That and making them be fully clothed while in the water.

Wetsuits for everyone!

Ok, that's even better than the red solo cup. Nice golf adventures! And price, it's a crazy expensive sport, good thing I (we) don't like it much to my in laws dismay.

It's way too expensive. Twilight rates are the only way to go.

Love the glow stick pictures m, what a cool idea!

Thanks!

Good call on getting out of the sun. Mini golf is a great way as long as you can hide under a tree.

That didn't happen much either, but at least we were out for less time.

Must have more info on that shark tooth necklace. Wonder if she found one. Like they are on every corner WINGS store

I have to say....I called this course to see if there was a dress code.....I had packed collared shirts for the boys just in case.....and the lady at the "pro shop" croaked into the phone, "No tank tops. No speedos." Well then. That just about settles it.

I wish I'd remembered to put that in the story!

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Lets get the easy ones first...

To alcohol! The cause of--and solution to--all of life's problems!

The Simpson's

I've gone PLAID!

Reference to Space Balls

I was but the learner, now I am the master.

Starwars IV

 

[glennbo123]

When I left, I was but the learner, now I am the master.

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

I gotta agree that this is the lie. My guess is that you spent the better part of the shopping trip "checking out" the hammocks. That's what I would have done.

Well, like I said before...my family isn't very good at doing nothing. A better way to put it is we may have undiagnosed ADD, and get bored easily.

They have one of those shops on the North end of MB as well. Calabash Nautical Gifts is the place that I typically lose DW, DMom, and all the other women in our party for about an hour or more every trip on our seafood night. Saw the same fine drinkware there ten days ago.

Sounds like a classy establishment! We'll have to schedule a future trip.

And conspicuously, no indication of how your game went.

I thought typing "I destroyed everyone" would be too mean.

I avoid "Real Golf". Particularly due to that whole losing balls thing.

Don't worry, it builds character. Or so I'm told.

At least the cell phone service should be good on that hole.

Can you hear me now?

Dude. What did you eat?

Sorry, everyone. I had a bean burrito last night...

Like Father like Son.

Can't remember if he had a burrito or not.

NICE!

Awesome!

You took the thought right outta my head!

You should have seen the shark, though.

South carolina is so beautiful. What a lovely golf course.

Love the redneck solo cups. I saw those in Williamsburg - must be a southern thing.

Cute pictures of the kids on the beach - cool glow stick pics. And - love the mini golf pics. That's a very pretty course.

Thanks Mary Ellen! As you know, Julie is the expert photographer in our family.

We actually bought the redneck glasses as a gift for my niece.

Awesome! I hope she uses them.

You can't go to the beach without a shopping trip, especially if you're with females.

Truth.

Lovely pictures of the golf course. Glad you guys enjoyed your game. I'm really liking the night pictures of the kids on the beach. Glow stuff can be so fun. I hope you saved some for the parks.

Thanks! We didn't need to invent any fun at the parks.

I was referring to the hole in one part.

You already said something earlier about not being the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

Touche. Still, if I call it out as a lie, it kind of defeats the purpose of making it THE lie in the chapter.

 

[glennbo123]

Can you hear me now?

Verizon commercials. Hey, I'll take what I can get!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

It's in there, but it's also a stretch.
I agree with tossing that one out.

Whew.

This however is from:
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

+1

Men In Black

+1

It’s possible…
maybe even likely…
and I should probably change my mind…

But I think I’ll stick with that one
(if for no other reason then to punish myself for over thinking things ).

All will be revealed in time.

Shawshank Redemption

(but being as I kind’a goaded you into that one, I probably don’t deserve the point ).

It is a great quote, though.

Naaaaa… I’ll be good.
Scouts Honor.

Sure you will.

Delta Farce?

Die Hard

+1 I kinda messed up that quote, too.

Nice TR, Mark! I'm too slow to get in on the points the day of, but I'll tag along anyway...

No problem Doc! The points are just a cheap, pandering way to get people to read the TR anyway. Don't tell anyone.

The Simpson's

+1

Reference to Space Balls

+1

Starwars IV

+1

Are you stalking this TR?

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Close, but Rob beat you to that one. He's bringing his A-game lately.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

I didn't think of that. It's amazing how those big rivers from different continents all flow into each other.

Everybody now....
♪ ♫ it's a small world after all ♫ ♪
♪ ♫ it's a small world after all ♫ ♪

I told you about the sign I once found deep in the woods on a Disney golf course before, didn't I?

Yes! But I'm getting old. Remind me again what it said.

Because Sarah saw ads all over the place for them, No, Sarah, a Land Shark, off-white, string, no, not really, do I look like the Encyclopedia Britannica to you?

I TOLD you not to ask about the shark necklace!!

Tell stubby I'm sorry.

What else?

Cheese.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Verizon commercials. Hey, I'll take what I can get!

+1

Every point helps!

 

[glennbo123]

Close, but Rob beat you to that one. He's bringing his A-game lately.

It doesn't help that you're posting these quotes while I'm trying to get my next chapter posted.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Oh, I always win. I figured that was old news.*

*Please ignore this statement in future chatpers of this TR.

That one’s gonn’a come back to haunt you

I told you about the sign I once found deep in the woods on a Disney golf course before, didn't I?

I’ve not heard that one. Do tell…

I TOLD you not to ask about the shark necklace!!

Is it more of a hillbilly window shade then? My Walmart bags were all white and plastic, so they wouldn't have done much.

As a hillbilly by birth, a South’ner by rasing, and most likely a Red Neck by association…

Barry’s right on this one
(my God, what am I saying! )

Nearly any other collect of brown bags would have sufficed, but with the trendy upscale Trader Joe’s logo...
the effect of the joke gets washed out.

I wish I'd remembered to put that in the story!

Yes you should have. It also relates to, and confirms my comment on the same subject.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Everybody now....
♪ ♫ it's a small world after all ♫ ♪
♪ ♫ it's a small world after all ♫ ♪

I'm not listening!

Yes! But I'm getting old. Remind me again what it said.

"At this point, you are now 50 yards off-line. Our golf pros offer excellent lessons. Sign up in the Pro Shop today!"

Tell stubby I'm sorry.

You know what stinks? She's not left-handed.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

Barry’s right on this one

I have no real purpose for quoting this, I just thought it needed be on the Internet twice.

I
You know what stinks? She's not left-handed.

She is now.