One-uppers

[jdb in AZ]

Heck, I've noticed it in threads here every now and again. I just figured it was how some people are.

I'll bet I've noticed it on more threads than you have. (just kidding!)

 

[fla4fun]

One of my former coworkers was like this. Actually there was a second coworker who would do it occasionally, but one of them did it all the time. It didn’t matter what the topic was, she had it worse, better, longer, shorter, bigger, smaller, more often or prevented from having it. There are some silver linings to being unemployed . . .

 

[Wendy1985]

My aunt i posted that I completed 17,000 steps before noon within a hr she called to tell me that my cousin who is over due walked the grocery store, I was having emergency surgery my mom was not answering the phone because she was waiting on a progress report for me my cousin might loss her job

 

[GoingSince1990]

I had an uncle that my wife and I nicknamed “similar... but better”. Because whatever you owned or had done, he owned or had done something similar, but better.

 

[Alicefan]

My mother is the one-upper. It's impossible to have any kind of meaningful conversation with her because she always steers it to be one-sided and all about her. I dread her calls they are 45 minutes to an hour of nonstop bragging or complaining on her end, with the occasional "mm-hmm" and "uh-huh" thrown in from me. And she complains that no one ever wants to talk to her on the phone...

I think you may be my long lost sibling. lol

 

[Alicefan]

Penelope, "one-upping".

OMG I was sitting here thinking about finding the exact same skit!!! Funniest skits ever!

 

[1GoldenSun]

I sometimes have people trying to one-up me, but it happens more often to my wife, Morgan Fairchild.

 

[wenrob]

My mother’s side of the family. If they’re speaking they’re making crap up. Their doctor said this, their lawyer said that. They’ve won landmark cases. Riiiight. They do this while simultaneously claiming poverty but they have personal physicians and lawyers on retainer. They do it so much you wonder if they actually believe their own crap.

My sister is a one downer. “Must be nice, I *fill in the blank with whatever misery here*.” “I wish *I* could afford to go to Disneyland.” “We’re not doing Christmas/Birthday/Holiday we’re too poor.” It’s so bad we all got in a cycle where we’d say, “Don’t tell her about this or that.” I got to where I wouldn’t even mention what my kids were doing because her kids “don’t have those opportunities.”

 

[ronandannette]

LOL, I'm guilty of being a "one DOWNER". Can be just as annoying to people (and folks on the DIS Boards) as being a one upper.
I don't like change.
Some folks get a new family car every 5,6 or 7 years, I kept mine 31 years.
Some homeowners buy a different house and move every few years. Google says the average length of home ownership is 8 years, I've been in my house 38 years.
I work in an industry where people often move jobs and cities every 2 to 3 years. I've had 3 jobs in the same city in the last 44 years. My wife has been in the same job 42+ years.

The word you're looking for is humble-brag.

 

[tvguy]

The word you're looking for is humble-brag.

I prefer CHEAP.

 

[leebee]

My sister is like this, in a way. She doesn't know anyone "normal" or "regular." A friend's husband isn't just a doctor, he's the head of the biggest best XYZ facility in the state. Her co-worker isn't just a writer, she's the poet laureate extraordinaire. Her daughter's friend isn't just a great singer, she's been awarded a coveted position between two schools with a "full boat" because everyone knows she's going to be the next big pop star. Someone doesn't just have a DVC contract, they have a contract in the castle because they were Walt's personal confidants. I don't know... I know people who are smart, hardworking, kind, whatever... but EVERYONE she knows is a "superlative." It's tiring. I just know normal, everyday people.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

I have a frenemy like this. We were friends but I just can’t any more. Trying to figure out how to extricate myself from the friendship while allowing our kids to still be friends....

 

[DisneyHardin]

Heck, I've noticed it in threads here every now and again. I just figured it was how some people are.

I was going to post this same thing The biggest one-uppers I've ever "met" are on the Disboards.

 

[mrodgers]

Do you have people in your life who always have to "one up" you? Whatever you're doing they're doing it better. My MIL - any medical ailment you have, she's had it, has it, and it's always way worse than you. My BIL - I get a new car that I'm proud and happy about so I'm telling some family members. He has to take over and tell everyone about his BMW something or other and how, when he got pulled over for doing 140mph, the cop was in awe of it. DH - I have a bad day at work and want to tell him about it. He's always had a worse day, worked harder, likes to say "that's nothing compared to how it used to be when I worked at ......"

Um, you obviously do not understand the rules about automobiles and driving laws. You're BIL has every right for doing so and in fact you should defer to his stories relating to his superior choice of automotive excellence....

A Day In The Life Of A BMW Driver

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my interstates, which was very busy with inferior cars.
First off, I couldn’t believe that the volume of traffic DIDN’T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the exit ramp! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn’t be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!

He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew – that my car goes fast!

Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They’re not free points either – they’re £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won’t be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won’t even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!
See, now THAT’S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

 

[Alicefan]

My mother’s side of the family. If they’re speaking they’re making crap up. Their doctor said this, their lawyer said that. They’ve won landmark cases. Riiiight. They do this while simultaneously claiming poverty but they have personal physicians and lawyers on retainer. They do it so much you wonder if they actually believe their own crap.

I dated a guy like this. He lied about things that he would KNOW that you knew more about than he did. If you told him some random fact that you knew he didn't know, he would sit there and shake his head knowingly like you were telling him something he had already heard...then he would turn around and tell someone, in front of you, what YOU just told him as if HE was the one that knew it all along! Where most of us, if passing on information would say, "yeah, Dana was just telling me that blah blah blah". It used to drive me insane with his attempts to sound intelligent! I would think, "Dude! I'm standing right here and I JUST told you that!" And talk about spewing misinformation as fact without googling to make sure it wasn't utter crap! Yep, he did that too. It got so bad that I was afraid for him to talk to my Dad because they both were in the military and they both worked at the BMW plant (my Dad retired from both and the ex had minimal experience) I was always paranoid that he was going to say something about either one that my Dad would know was impossible and he would know what a liar my ex was. He had no problem lying to someone like my Dad, knowing full well that my Dad would know better. It had to be an illness. He lied about stuff that no one would even care about or think twice about, then forget that he lied and if the subject ever came up again, he'd have a different story. Like when I told him I knew a kid named x when we were little, he told me a whole story about how his dad and that kids dad didn't get along. A year later I mentioned x and he said, "I don't know who that is." WUT??? You can't trust someone like that with anything at all that ever comes out of their mouths. Nothing.

 

[RUDisney]

Another annoyance is the "keeper upper." That friend that has to do everything that you do... only bigger and better.

I hadn't noticed it for a while, but then it hit me like a ton of bricks. One of my DH's wives did everything that we did. It's a compliment in some ways, but weird in others.

We installed a 55-gallon, in the wall saltwater tank. they installed a 150-gallon reef tank in their wall. I have a dining room, so they added one on to their house. DH would get a new truck and her DH would buy a bigger, fancier named truck. It hit me that they were keeper uppers when she bragged to me that she had purchased stemmed wine glasses for $50 each from a swanky store near us. She said that she wanted stemware like mine in her hutch. I walked her to it and pointed to the champagne flutes that were 18-$50 from Dansk, and the other wine glasses that didn't cost much. I like it this way. When they break, I don't feel the need to cry about them. She canceled her order the next day after I talked sense into her.

DH and I used to laugh that if we put shrunken heads into our front yard, she would have put up larger shrunken heads.

 

[VandVsmama]

I had a friend once who was a one-upper. After several years, she switched from just simple one-up-man-ship to being downright mean and rude, so we are no longer friends. I don't miss it at all!

 

[Makmak]

Some of these people may be super competitive and some may be narcissists. BUT ....a lot of them
are terribly insecure and have low self esteem. They think they HAVE to do more/say more/achieve more/experience more than others to be “good enough”. They don’t realize it’s annoying and driving people away so they do it MORE hoping to be good enough to fit in. It’s a sad cycle and especially for the pp that is describing the guy they dated that was always “nodding knowingly” then trying to get attention by passing off knowledge as their own. He wanted to BE the person he was dating, he wanted to have the impressive facts, because he felt his own knowledge set was not good enough. Of course they may not realize they are doing it and I’ll bet that’s the case if they did it right in front of you.

 

[cabanafrau]

This one-upmanship spread through a specific social group I used to hang out with somewhat. We had some really wonderful times and a whole lot of fun, and then one friend went on a really bad streak of one upping, very in your face. I think somehow she was triggered when one of our friends occasionally brought along another friend to some and then more and more of our get togethers. Seemed like maybe the newcomer was getting some attention for some of the same things our friend was used to standing out for and maybe that's what set it off, but suddenly our friend was seemingly on a mission not to be outdone. I think everyone was mildly annoyed and waiting for it to blow over, but eventually something set of another, and then another friend and it felt like we were off to the races. I wound up feeling like, hey, I'm not dressed for racing in these heels and found myself becoming more and more an observer than participant. Before long I just wasn't in the mood to go to this, and then when I went to that I found myself a bored observer. Then I was skipping more and more get togethers, and so were several others. Suddenly the group kind of evaporated. It was kind of sad. Over time I've had a couple people reach out to me and I found out they shared my feelings about what went on. Now and again some of us get together, but it's funny how it seems to all be one on one meeting for coffee, or drinks, or dinner. Somehow it feels wrong to me to get together in anything resembling a group. I've never asked anyone if they feel like that too, but from what I can tell that's how it has gone for any of us who still are in touch.

 

[TLSnell1981]

One uppers have a low self esteem. I kind of pity them.