On a first date...

[SwedishMeatball]

assuming that the guy is paying the bill.....would you order the most expensive item on the menu if it was what you really wanted the most??

 

[DMickey28]

Obviously I am not dating anymore, but I employ the same technique when I go out to business dinners with DH.

I always have two different meals in mind. One that I really want, that might be a bit more expensive, and then one more inexpensive. Based on what the other person/people order I then order my own. Since we are always out in a group it's easy not being the first person to order. If it was one on one I would then defer to the other person to go first, pretending I didn't make up my mind yet.

Now that I know DH's co-workers and their "level" of dinning out I just order what I want, but in the beginning of this job it worked well!!!

 

[Lady de Winter]

No, I wouldn't. I'd be worried about making the wrong kind of first impression if I did.

 

[Tiziminchac]

As a guy I've faced that situation. It doen't bother me. I mean come on, who can't afford a double whopper?

 

[SwedishMeatball]

No, I wouldn't. I'd be worried about making the wrong kind of first impression if I did.

What kind of impression do you think it would make??

I ask because I've been with my husband since I was 15 so this was never an issue. We probably went to McDonald's the first time. We were out with some couples last night and one of the guys made a comment about his wife and how he should have known what he was in store for since his first date when she ordered the shrimp, which was the most expensive item on the menu. I know he was just teasing, but I love shrimp and it just got me to thinking about how I would have wanted to order the shrimp, but would I. My mind is so weird.

 

[AprilShowers]

No I wouldn't. I always go middle of the road when our business associates come to take us out for dinner. It's not polite to order the most expensive thing on the menu when someone else is paying. You don't have to order the least expensive thing either though.

 

[Stacerita]

I am still dating and order what I want the most. That is very rarely the most expensive. But if it was, it wouldn't bother me. I generally would let him pick the place so he will already know what the prices are, if he wasn"t up to paying somewhere expensive, then he wouldn't pick there. And if he asks me to pick, I pick a place where the prices are reasonable and would still order what I wanted most.

 

[Lady de Winter]

What kind of impression do you think it would make??

We were out with some couples last night and one of the guys made a comment about his wife and how he should have known what he was in store for since his first date when she ordered the shrimp, which was the most expensive item on the menu. I know he was just teasing, but...

That one. Right there. The one where the guy thinks he can see the future and that I'll be expensive to keep around. I don't want to come across as really high maintenance, spoiled, etc. Plus, if it's a first date, I might not be aware of the guy's finances and wouldn't want him to have to eat ramen noodles for two weeks because I ordered the petit filet. LOL

 

[becjlek]

I think no matter who you are with, if they are paying, that ordering the most expensive meal would be rude.

 

[trappednabox]

I would just order what I wanted, if it was the most expensive thing I would probably offer to pay half or at least leave the tip to help make up for it. if he said no then I would pay for after dinner drinks. IF he get's upset about that then i don't want to be with him anymore b/c I like paying for things

 

[SwedishMeatball]

I would just order what I wanted, if it was the most expensive thing I would probably offer to pay half or at least leave the tip to help make up for it. if he said no then I would pay for after dinner drinks. IF he get's upset about that then i don't want to be with him anymore b/c I like paying for things

I think that sounds like a very fair approach.

 

[gradtchr]

With DH when we were dating I always ordered what I knew I would eat and once or twice it was one of the more expensive things. We always split who paid for dinners though so I never thought twice about it.

 

[kandeebunny]

nope, it generally doesn't appeal to me.

 

[sajetto]

Yes, I did and the guy married me so I guess I didn't screw up too badly

BTW, I was so nervous that I didn't eat it. THAT is what I felt bad about

 

[MushyMushy]

No. I've never done that. I always get something in the mid-range of the menu because there's always something I'd like.

Although, there was this one date I went on. It wasn't the first date, but it was 2nd or 3rd, and this guy took me to his favorite restaurant. I wanted shrimp and they had popcorn shrimp and regular fried shrimp -- by no means was it the most expensive on the menu. Aside from that, I was following his cue a little bit because he'd ordered an appetizer along with his meal (I didn't). When the bill came, he did a huge double take and made a fuss over how much it was. Later that evening he complained to my mother about my getting the regular shrimp instead of the popcorn shrimp and my mother took his side and berated me!

We were in our 20s, so it wasn't like it was a teenage date.

 

[NMAmy]

You know, my mom always told us girls, particularly when we were teens, not to order the most expensive thing on the menu--choose something more in the middle price range, because you just didn't know how much money the guy had to spend. I do the same thing with dd.

As an adult, on a first date, I tended to stick with that advice--maybe just out of habit but it always seemed a bit more polite.

 

[Cantw8]

I'm thinking if you call the guy handsome, you can order whatever you want ...what do you think, OP????

 

[Wishing on a star]

Well, obviously I haven't dated in years. But, I can say with certainty that on a very first date I would not order the most expensive thing on the menu.

Two reasons...
1. The 'first impression' thing.

and

2. Like the other poster mentioned, they were too nervous to really enjoy and eat it all anyhow. Sorry, but going out on a first date is about getting to know somebody new, not a chance to get a free lobster or filet. (edited to add: the lobster scene from 'Flashdance' just came to mind!!! )

I am not saying that I would order the hamburger, But, on a very first date I really would have no reason to order these most expensive things, unless of course, I DID want to be sure that this guy didn't mind being my 'sugar-daddie'!!!!!

 

[lillygator]

Well, DH and I have been married 7 years this year...so I haven't dated in a while...but when I was dating...I would order what I wanted but I was also prepared to pay. Most often - what I wanted was not anywhere near the most expensive thing on the menu.

 

[Amberle3]

I think no matter what the social situation, whether it's a date or dinner with friends or a business dinner, if someone else is paying you don't order the most expensive thing on the menu.

I remember being out for dinner with a boyfriend and friends of his, and the BF insisted on picking up the cheque. The friend said "Oh, if I'd known YOU were paying I would have ordered something more expensive", and he wasn't kidding. I mean nice way to say "I don't really care about you, just what you can buy for me".