Oldest babysitting siblings --what age?

[taximomfor4]

DH and I were thinking about getting an outside babysitting service for our 4 kids (They are 13, 8, 6 1/2, and 4). Friends that I have asked look at me like I am crazy...like why am I not having DD13 babysit. We would only be gone about 2 hours, unless we get the outside service (they have a minimum). She would be locked into the hotel room, which she has done on multiple school trips with no grownup in the room. And for goodness sake, she is going into NINTH grade. 4 years till college. I know, I babysat for several families (one of them on a regular basis including cooking dinner) starting at age 12. Heck my family was all latch-key kids...sis and I were 7 and 6 taking care of ourselves after school every day....and eventually, it was me 12, sis 13, bro 8 taking care of ourselves and cooking our own dinner. Why is letting go a little SO DARN HARD?

So in preparation to take their advice, I signed DD up for the Red Cross Babysitting certification course. I wanted her done with it before our trip. But I have never left any of my kids with a teenager!! My best friend, who has known my dd13 since birth, insists that I am doing dd a disservice in my own paranoia. She is probably right, I mean, dd knows safety stuff and even knows how to cook (she has done Home Ec already).

Oh, help. What age would you let your oldest child babysit at a WDW hotel? I would LOVE to drive to Epcot for Illumninations with just DH. Or maybe we should just settle for a quick date to the poolside bar while the kids are sleeping one night (except oldest dd who stays up till all hours).

Advice? Experience?

 

[belle&beast]

I don't have experience, my kids are young, but IMO there is a difference babysitting at home where she is comfortable and in a hotel room. I have been alone in hotel rooms and it can be creepy even if you are at WDW! There are unfamiliar noises and lots of strange people around and even an experienced sitter may be uncomfortable. I don't think there is anything wrong with her watching the kids at home, but a hotel is not a familiar environment and to me is a totally different situation. Just my .02!

 

[zurgswife]

I have 4 kids currently 15, 13, 12 and 9 they have been babysitting for each other since the oldest was about 10 or so at WDW. We have cell phones to stay in contact. IT has worked out just fine. I know that they are responsible and will not kill each other.

I think I lot will depend on your kids personalities and how well they get along. If you have never let you DD babysit at home the others could be quite difficult for her in a strange place.

Maybe we will see you there in 24 days....

 

[taximomfor4]

Thanks for replies so far. We thought about going once the kids are in bed. They are perfect about going to bed and sleeping, even in hotels. And my thought about it being at WDW is because they WOULD be just going to bed and sleeping...except dd, who could watch tv or read her book.

Oh, and DD would certainly have a cell phone. We would drive so that we could get back within a few minutes if we had to.

Anyone else?

 

[Alex2kMommy]

IMO, there's another factor to consider: Would your kids respect and listen to your DD13, and do what they are told? Would she in turn be respectful of and listen to them?

My parents left my older brother in charge of the rest of us a few times, and it was a disaster; he was not mature enough (emotionally) to handle the responsibility. And I always hated being responsible for my sister, because we were close in age and she would not have listened to a word I said because... I'm her sister!

I'm not saying your daughter would bully her siblings, or that they would take advantage of her, just that their relationship is something to consider.

 

[mjantz]

I would probably not let her babysit at 13 only because there are 4 kids. 13 & 8YO would probably be OK & possibly adding the 6YO would be OK too. But I'm thinking the additional 4YO makes it just a little much.
Also, its been said many times, but times have changed. I use to be out on my bike till all hours. I use to walk home from school cross town & not call my mom to tell her I was walking instead of riding the bus (I got home about the same time either way).
My kids are 9 & 6. The youngest has asked a few times if she can stay with the oldest, who we leave alone on occasion. I've told her that she can stay home when she's as old as DS was when we started leaving him alone by himself. I'm not saying that you can't leave the 4YO with his/her siblings until he/she is old enough to be alone by his/herself. But I personally would wait until the 8YO is a bit older & they can co-babysit.
Babysitting siblings is different than other peoples kids. To other peoples kids, you are IN CHARGE. To your siblings, many times, your authority is a joke. YMMV but that's been my experience.
Finally, 1 thing I always ask myself when considering giving my kids more responsibility is not 'Can they handle this?' but '*Should* they have to handle this?' I'm sure that technically my DS could handle coming home on his own after school. However, I don't think he should have to take on that responsibility yet. Your DD could probably handle the babysitting responsibility. But, given that you're not at home & it is her vacation too, should she have to?

Just my opinion. Feel free to call me an idiot & ignore me!!

 

[liamandcaili]

I used to babysit all the time when I was 13. However, the worst people I ever had to watch were my sister and brother. I had no problem handling three of the neighbor's children, but since DSis never listened to me (she's only two years younger) and my brother (nearly ten years younger) hated it when my mother went out, it was difficult. If your children get along and they would listen to your 13 year-old, then go for it. If they don't think of her as an authority figure, you might come home to a room full of shaving cream (DSis and I had a shaving cream fight when my parents were away once, and we were old enough to know better. We would have gotten away with it too because we cleaned it up, except for one thing: my mother's toothbrush.) Good luck with your decision!

 

[liamandcaili]

Thanks for replies so far. We thought about going once the kids are in bed. They are perfect about going to bed and sleeping, even in hotels. And my thought about it being at WDW is because they WOULD be just going to bed and sleeping...except dd, who could watch tv or read her book.

Oh, and DD would certainly have a cell phone. We would drive so that we could get back within a few minutes if we had to.

Anyone else?

I didn't see this before I posted. If the younger children are in bed, it should be no problem leaving your daughter with them. Even if they need to get up for some reason: bathroom, water, etc...she should be able to handle that and get them back into bed.

 

[3princesses+aprince]

I don't think I would feel comfortable going out to a park, but a night by the pool, I would definately do!

I don't have a child that age, so I'm not positive, but that's how I feel now.

 

[taximomfor4]

Wow! Lots to think about, thanks!!

I think we certainly will do a test run at home. I know I would never ask my kids to take on the responsibilities we did as kids (we were NOT angels, although of course I was the GOOD ONE )

DD begs to babysit. She is certainly the very best with the 4 yr old, maybe because she is so much older??? Anyway, she begs and begs, but I just always felt like I was "stuck with" my siblings so much that I have gone the direct opposite with mine. DD does tons of helping out, but I just never wanted to make her do all that I had to.

I guess maybe I will keep reading replies, as they come in, and I will also talk to her babysitting course instructor when she finishes that course.

Beth

 

[Hannathy]

I have to agree with your friend you are doing her a dis-service. I think she is perfectly old enough to watch the others none of them are babies. She is going into High School for heavens sake. My only question is don't they complain being at disney and being couped up in the room, I think that would be terrible, it wouldn't be too bad if I could go to the pool but being stuck in a room when there is so much great stuff to see and do I certainly would voice my displeasure.

 

[taximomfor4]

I have to agree with your friend you are doing her a dis-service. I think she is perfectly old enough to watch the others none of them are babies. She is going into High School for heavens sake. My only question is don't they complain being at disney and being couped up in the room, I think that would be terrible, it wouldn't be too bad if I could go to the pool but being stuck in a room when there is so much great stuff to see and do I certainly would voice my displeasure.

Nah, because they turn into pumpkins at 8...MAYBE 8:30. And none of them have ever given us grief, sleeping away from home. They do it quite often...maybe that is why.
I certainly would NOT run out and have fun with DH while the kids are in the room bored, lol.

 

[3PRINCESSMOM]

Go with your gut. Is there a rational reason why you have not allowed her to babysit yet? Is it purely over-protection?

Personally, I have a DD 13, too. I also have 3 other kids, DD 9, DD 6 and DS 1. She has been babysitting for nearly 2 years. We never leave the baby with her at night until he is asleep and we are relatively close by; or during the day for more than 1 hour. Her sisters respect her completely. I get a report from each of them upon my return. A few times I have been disappointed in the amount of bickering, but never anything serious. Everyone knows their are consequences to bad behavior, no matter who is in charge. In our household it has been decided that part of being the oldest means you get priviledges and have some responsibility. If she goes above and beyond she gets rewarded, too.

With 4 kids, we do not go out often. I use my oldest to babysit for quick errands around town mostly.

When we travel to WDW in August we are planning one evening out for a couple of hours with DD 13 babysitting. This will be the first time we do this. I feel completely comfortable.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[smschex]

My clan of 4 consists of DD16, DS12, DD10, and DD6. DD16 has been my main babysitter for 3-4 years now. She is very responsible and does an excellent job. Now that she is 16 and has a part-time job, she isn't always available, so DS12 has been left in charge some. All my kids are independent and have been thoroughly drilled on what to do in an emergency, when to answer the phone and when to let the machine pick-up, and to never unlock the door. I also feel better leaving them since my younger girls are old enough to take care of their own needs to a certain extent. The kids bicker, but do look out for each other.

All that to say I think your daughter would be fine--IF she is comfortable with the arrangement. If she expresses any reservations it will be a miserable time for all of you. But if she feels ready, go for it. After the initial time or two, you will be amazed how free you will feel. It is wonderful to be able to go to the store alone and even better on a date with DH without having the hassle of finding a sitter and confident that you know exactly who is taking care of your precious darlings.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

of course this is just my over protective OP, i would NOT let my DD baby sit at that age. it's a hotel, not home and on so on and so on. I wouldn't be able to go out and leave htem behind anyways. good luck with what you decide

 

[smschex]

Just an observation on the replies to this thread--the ones who are adamant they could never leave the kids seem to be the ones with little ones. When my oldest was small I was very reluctant to leave her as well.

As I have gotten older and more tired, it has become easier to reconcile the fact that "Mommy and Daddy" time is vital and the kids (as much as it pains me to admit it) can get along without me, briefly. Besides a "built-in" babysitter is ideal because I know exactly how she was raised!!

 

[shaylahc1]

I have 4 kids so I know what that's like....but no I would not leave a 13 y.o. in charge of 3 younger siblings, at least not at Disneyworld.

This thread actually brings back memories for me...my parents took us to Europe when my sister and I were 12 and 9. We were in Amsterdam and my parents decided to leave us alone in the hotel room while they went out partying They said they would return at midnight....well 2 a.m. rolled around and they STILL weren't back and our sister and I were scared to death! We thought something terrible had happened to our parents. We decided to wander down to the hotel lobby (in our pajamas ) to look for them. We ended up getting locked out of our hotel room. When our parents came back about an hour later and saw us sitting in our pajamas at 3 a.m. in a hotel lobby, boy were they mad!!!!! We got spanked pretty good for that one. Looking back on it now as a mother I am horrified they even left us alone in a strange city where we didn't even speak the language so they could go out partying.

OP I think the responsible thing to do would be to hire a babysitter.

 

[shaylahc1]

I have 4 kids currently 15, 13, 12 and 9 they have been babysitting for each other since the oldest was about 10 or so at WDW. QUOTE]

You left kids ages 10, 8, 7 and 4 year olds alone to babysit each other at WDW? Or did I read that wrong?

 

[smschex]

That must have been horrible for you and your sister. I can't imagine.

But, I see a world of difference between Amsterdam and an on-property resort at WDW, especially in the age of cell phones. I don't think the OP has any intention of staying out "partying" until 3am. She only wants to see Illuminations or even have a hour alone with DH at the pool.

 

[ptmmg]

I have 4 kids also ( a lot of moms to 4 on this thread) ages dd16, ds14, dd4, ds2 and my oldest has been babysitting for about 3 years now. I plan 1 night out with my dh on our upcoming trip and she will babysit. As long as you dd is comfortable I see no problem with it. Have a good time!