Okay parents, I need your input....

[disykat]

Okay, this is going to sound harsh, but I'm going to give it to you straight.

I would definately not advise you to TELL them. You need to ASK them. I'm sorry, it's a wonderful idea if you can take her on a cruise, but you are waaaay out of line in my book. They are the parents so you need to have their PERMISSION before you even offer this as an option. Or is there some reason you want to set them up as the bad guy here? - this smacks of trying to sabatoge their parenting.

PS - I remember a similar thread about grandparents wanting to take grandchildren to Disney - my advice was the same. Don't turn something good into something that drives a wedge in between you and your family.

 

[tigercat]

I would ask first as well. I did that with my dgrdd. I got my dd's permission first then went ahead with the plans. I am looking for someone else to go away with as well. I need time away and dh won't leave work so................I am thinking of running away.
tigercat

 

[Fishbone†]

Disykat - thanks for your input.... I definitely would NOT demand that they let me take her, but I don't believe you fully understand the dynamics of my family. We are VERY VERY close, which is why I even entertained the thought of just giving it to her. This is in NO way even remotely associated with sabotage..... it makes me laugh to even put the word on paper (or screen, as the case may be), and sad that you even thought it. I spend A LOT of time with all five of my nieces.... I pick them up on a Friday night just to do something fun, at which point my brother(s) usually wink with gratitude and go have their own "fun". I have done more than my share of "helping" to raise them, and not that anyone is counting, but they have saved probably literally thousands by dialing my number when they wanted to go out. I only say all of this to give you a taste of the dynamics of my family.... this is not, in my opinion, at all "out of line."

Keli - that's an excellent idea. There will be no problem with my DB, possibly just his wife (and the basketball thing), and there will be absolutely NO problem what-so-ever with my other brother and his wife.... they are much more laid back..... they will think this is super. So, maybe, considering the offer will move from Britt to Sadie (one of the other family), should they decline, they will see the value in it. And yes mamajoan, if I "ask" them first, I will reveal the entire plan to them all....... in fact, I would have anyway whatever time I "revealed" the gift, as I would NEED to explain to my other "peanuts" that their turn would come in due time.

Please understand me when I say that I decided on this because I would love to spend 7 days just hanging out with my nieces (each with their own interests) on the Disney Magic.... it's purely because I love them, they are my life, I have no kids of my own to experience this with, and I wanted to experience it with them. I could take them all at once for less money, but to have each one individually and spend the time doing only what they as an individual likes, just makes me soooo excited. Britt (13) will love the spa... and I can't wait to get a manicure and facial with her. Sadie (11) will love the game room, game shows, competitions, and as I am just like her, I can't WAIT!! Callie (10) will LOVE the ocean, snorkeling, stingrays, dolphins.... she wants to be a dolphin trainer, you know. Kendra (7) will just LOVE the people, the waiters, the host/hostess, the other kids.... people, people, people. And Chloe (3)... well, she's just my buddy, and if I'm going, she'll love it.... BUT Goofy and Mickey will be there too... BONUS!!!! Anyway, I think you see that this is more for me and the time I get with them.... I'm not out to sabotage or create ANY issues.... which is why I asked the question in the first place.

 

[mamajoan]

It is sooo nice to hear that you adore your nieces and appreciate their differences.. My family is back in Illinois and Wisconsin.. there is only one uncle and one aunt for my kids.. I am fortunate that they also like them. But they don't see them very much at all.

I think you have a good plan.. Go forth and prosper dear Auntie Fishbone! 5 pink bouncies aka your nieces when they find out about your gift!

 

[Mishetta]

What an Aunt you are! My kids' only Aunt never even sends them a birthday card....let alone a trip of a lifetime!

Will you adopt us as family???

 

[Fishbone†]

Mishetta - I would love to adopt you, but the kids are going to have to wait 6, 7 & 8 years for their turn to cruise to come up!

Thank you again everyone!! My brothers (which by the way, are 12 & 10 years older than I am) are hanging out up here for the weekend at a snowmobile rally. I think I'll approach the two of them together about the idea...... see what they think.

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!!! And I'm glad I asked..... it seems my thought process wasn't the best, but then I'm not a parent yet.
I'll let you know what they say, and then what Britt thinks (but you'll have to wait until April like me. )

 

[Kallison]

You are one heck of a wonderful Aunt, and I think it is a fantastic idea to take each one on a cruise. I like Kelli's idea of making sure if they pass another niece will go in her place, that might light a fire under your SIL's butt. I have a SIL who gets jealous whenever the kids would have fun with me, so sad. I had to laugh at the 9:01 being a crisis. Good thing she doesn't live at my house, she would be in constant crisis mode - lol! I have a 10 year old who is a night owl and nothing we can do will stop him, he usually tucks us in at night! Good luck with your plan.

 

[tkyes]

Sorry Serena and Dan, I might have beat you to the request for Fishy to take me before you did. We talked about this at work awhile ago and I do believe I volunteered to be a niece already


Tamie

 

[BrerMom]

I agree with the others - ask first, make sure they know it's their choice, and let them know that you plan to take all the neices.

I can add another one: make sure you can actually follow-through with the gift. My in-laws mean well, but they've done some really stupid grandparenting moves; so far I've been able to hide my feelings from my kids. Case in point was sitting the three kids down during Christmas, 2001 and showing them the Cruise video. The kids are getting more and more excited and then they say that only the two oldest are invited. If we had had any idea at all they were going to do this, we would have arranged to have DS ANYWHERE else. They told the kids the cruise was the first week of August, 2002. Not another word about the cruise. Ever. I was hoping the kids would forget, but no such luck. They came home from church camp in July and asked when they should start packing for the cruise. If I were vindictive, I would have had them call their grandparents and ask them. As it was, I got the honor. The sad thing is that they didn't act terribly surprised and haven't mentioned it since.

 

[Fishbone†]

No BrerMom, I intend to follow through - you can ask Tamie.... I've been through the whole "what if I can't take all five thing"..... the first cruise is booked and paid for, and if I could book the rest right now, I would.

Your poor kids...... that does nothing for building trust, does it?? I would never want to jeopardize that with the girls!! Do they feel no remorse for letting them down?? AND how could you ever leave one of them out..... I know that is one thing my brother's would NOT allow.... they all go, or none of them go (besides, the littlest one is the one I can't wait to take). I'm feel so bad for your little guys - especially the littlest one.... send some hugs their way for me.

And, Tamie's right, I do believe she has first dibs, although I'm not sure Ted will let us both off at the same time.

 

[disykat]

Fishbone, don't get me wrong - I think it's a wonderful idea for you to take her. Just ASK the parents first. If you tell her she's getting a cruise and the parents don't want her to go (for whatever reason) you are now the hero and they are the bad guys. I'm sorry - I believe you have nice motives for the child, but think about the consequences. Just because you are a wonderful aunt does not give you the "right" to make these kinds of parenting decisions. I truly do not understand how you can go wrong by asking the parents first. (BTW in your first post you admitted you wanted it to be a surprise so that the parent's couldn't say no - so I can't see how my first post was so far off the mark.)

My parents paid for our trip to Hawaii a few years back to attend my brothers wedding. They worked out everything with me and dh first before it was ever mentioned to the kids. Because it involved taking the kids out of school they made it clear first that it was up to us whether we accepted their offer. My sister is a travel agent and has already asked me if she'll be able to take my kids on trips when they get older. I'm glad to know she wouldn't want to risk disapointing them and will clear it with me first when the time comes. I think it's great when families get involved, but important to recognize that ultimately the parents have first say - whether you like what their decisions or not.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by Fishbone†
Because MysteryMachine, unfortunately Disney Cruises are 2 to 3 times more expensive when the kids are off school,

Oh I see your point.
But for the future I suggest involving the parents in the planning due to kids schedules. Also that way you *know* the niece would be going and could have alot of fun with the surprise part.
Good Luck!

 

[pattyT]

I hate to say it I am with the masses here -
TAlk to her parents!

but I would like to know-
can you adopt me to be your neice