Okay...I've called the Late Night DISers, now I'm calling the SINGLE DISers!

[Pin Wizard]

Being single "again" has been so painful lately. I'm ready to find someone permanently. Anyone else feeling like this?

 

[CourtasanSatine]

unmarried but happily involved here,be patient the right guy will come along(I should know)

 

[epcotfan]

I used to feel like that, however, after awhile I just stopped caring.

 

[Robinrs]

Sorry, VERY happy single person here!!

I guess after SO MANY YEARS of that I'm glad to be like this.

It takes time, you have to be very comfortable with yourself to be happy like this. Give it time. Being unhappily single can cause us to make very bad choices, which we cannot afford to make in the state of mind we're in, especially with children. It takes two WHOLE people to make a relationship work.

 

[Tuffcookie]

I agree with Robin. I am happily single. After being in an unhappy marriage for so long, I feel like I have been given a chance at a new and better life and I don't intend to blow it!
How long have you been single? I'm not going to put you down for feeling that way...I think even us "happily single" girls feel that way from time to time. I used to have those days when I'd be out, in the middle of winter, scrapping the snow and ice off my car. I would think, "Boy, this is one of those times when it would be nice to have a man around! Guess What??? I got remote start installed on my car and now, even on the coldest winter days, I can get into a warmed up car! Now I can check that off my list of things I need a man for!

TC

 

[ebaynut31]

Another happily single mom here. Not dating, not looking. Taking time for myself. I am very selfish with my time and my time with my daughter. Enjoying our trips to WDW and our trips up north to our NH vacation home.

I want to come and go when I please without checking with someone.

My friends just don't understand it. They are married though!

 

[Scratch42]

Happy Single Mom here also!

Yes it can be trying at times but after what I have been thru and seeing what some of my married friends are going thru, I'll take the single life any day!

I'm with ebaynut31, it's so very nice to be able to pick up and go without having to have "permission" to do whatever, whenever I want! Life it too short to sit around waiting for "Mr. Right!" Who knows, some day I may be out on one of our adventures and find him, but until then I won't wallow in it!LOL

Scratch

 

[aprincessmom]

Add me to the happy single mom list.

I think it's especially hard to be single when you don't want to be single...when being single was forced upon you, when it wasn't your choice.

This was my choice...my actions brought me to this point and I am very, very happy. Happier than I've been in a very long time because I'm getting to be my own person again.

Give it time...just as there is much to be desired when you are part of a healthy relationship, there is much to be desired when you are a strong single person happy with the person you are.

 

[Pin Wizard]

I agree with all the good points of it. Been there myself. But next month I'll be widowed 11 years. Talk about having it happen and not wanting it to! I love the freedom I have, but I'm really missing sharing life with someone. I'm ready for a change!

 

[KathyFP]

I thought you were calling single digit disers. Oh well.

 

[GailT]

Originally posted by epcotfan
I used to feel like that, however, after awhile I just stopped caring.

I agree with Epcotfan, I don't care anymore, i am joining the nunery

 

[Scratch42]

Have you ever thought about checking out your local "Parents without Partners" chapter? That's what my married friends keep telling me!LOL

just a thought.

Scratch

 

[Margie J]

I'm happy the way I am BUT it would be nice to have someone special in my life. The male friends in my life now are great to have around but they are just friends and that's not easy sometimes. It's especially difficult during certain times of the year. Since most of my friends are married I often get left out of social events because I'm not part of a couple which is unfair.

I learned long ago not to live, breathe and do anything just to be with a man. When I see women doing that I feel that they aren't being true to themselves or their partner. So, I do the things that matter to me and bring joy to my life and those around me. If I find a partner to share life with, that's wonderful. If I don't I will have lived a full and terrific life nonetheless.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

I am looking for someone special...definitely not to settle down yet but it kinda sucks to see everybody at school in couples.

 

[Disney845]

Recently (about 6 months ago) I found myself single. A five year long relationship had come to an end. We lived together and were in the process of starting to build a house, and talking about marriage. Finding myself single again after this relationship was very very weird at first. When I was in this relationship I had moved across the country because he transfered jobs. When the relationship ended that first thing I did we to move "home" to FL to be near friends and family. I am not ashamed to admit that at first I was extremely depressed. I was having trouble both sleeping and eating, but as the old cliche saying goes, time healed my pain.

I am really happy now to be single. I am casually seeing some people, but not locking myself down into a committed relationship (don't worry, anyone I am seeing is on the same page as I am). The main reason for this is that while I was in a relationship, I think I "lost" part of myself. I moved across the country for him. I didn't know anyone or have a job. I put my dreams on the backburner because this job was a really great opportunity for him. Now that I am single, I really question how happy I would have been in the long term (if we had stayed in the relationship) because I had "forgotten" some of the dreams I had had for my life. Now I am working on living out some of those dreams. I am hoping (fingers really really crossed here) that by this time next year I will be living abroad attending graduate school. I have no intension of entering into another relationship right now because I "know" in my heart that I want to leave, and it would not be fair to let myself become attached to anyone because it would only hurt us both.

I have come to some real revelations during my singledom First, I will no longer lose who I am and forget my dreams to be with someone. Second, I will not stay with someone because I am comfortable and scared to go out into the world.

There are times when I miss the type of security (both personally and financially) I felt in a relationship. But truth be told, I am having a better time on my own then I did when I was in a relationship (for various reasons). My moving "home" has allowed me to reconnect with someone I had been extremely close friends with since we were in Kindergarten. Her friendship has really been essential to me in the last few months. Having good friends is really important to not feeling alone.

For now, I am happy with just "going out" with a guy. We both understand that we are interested in each other's company and not in some long term love affair. Currently this is working very well for me. There are definitely times when I occassionally wish it was more. When I think about how good it feels to be loved and be in love. When I remember the feeling of not being alone. Of having someone to be with on any given night or weekend. But these feelings are fleeting, and when I think about how "right" I feel my life is now, and how it is on a path to allow me to fulfill my dreams and goals, I don't allow myself to wallow in thoughts of "what if" or "what could be." I know that some day it "will be" and I am content to live my life fully until then.

Ok this post was probably much longer than need be, and am sure you could have done without hearing all about my personal sob story but this is definitely a topic that I feel passionately about.

 

[txpixie]

It's tough when you are ready to move into a new phase - like not being so single - and your social life is not responding. Have you got a good picture in your mind of what kind of man you are looking for? When you know yourself and what you want, it makes it easier to find. I myself am still working on this. It certainly isn't easy, but it is what life is made of......
Know you have a multitude of company on the bad days and just be happy and enjoy the good days.

Hang in there,

Liz

 

[Montana Minnies]

Hi Pin Wizard
I will answer both threads in one posting. I am both a DISer night person and yes I am single too!

"Montana Minnies"

 

[worm761]

single mom here too!!! just recently, about 6 months ago, became single again. we weren't married but had lived together for a long time. i remember being single and loving it. mostly the freedom. i am just now getting into the swing of being single again. i moved about 1400 miles when we broke up. so i am starting life all over again from scratch. i know that i am not ready for a relationship of any kind right now so i am not even looking. we had a weird break up, we are still good friends! so i know that is part of the reason why i am not ready and won't be for a while. but i am trying. i just really need to get out and meet people again. i have no friends here yet but am getting there. hopefully soon! {{HUGS}} to you all. thanks for the advice even though it wasn't meant for me.

 

[Astrid]

And me!

Been 'officially' separated from my husband since the beginning of the year but spent the previous 7 years being 'on my own' and a single parent as the marriage was so bad and he was never here.

Like Sandy I'm really ready to have someone in my life again now, it's been too long not having someone to spend time with, have hols with, have someone to care for etc etc. Not saying that I want someone to move in and get married to, just a special guy to have around.

I've dated a few over the past few months but boy have things changed since before I got married, dating is a whole different ball game now - not sure whether it's the same over in the US to here in Britain!! Just this weekend was 'dumped' by a guy I thought was going to become something special - ho hum .... onwards and upwards as I keep telling myself!!

Got a load of great friends, two fab kids and no money worries so life really ain't so bad - c'mon Mr Right - where are you hiding!!!

Astrid x

ps. If anyone in the same position wants to pm me so we can keep each other company I'd love to here from you!

 

[house_of_princesses]

It took me a good month before I could even say I am single. My DH died just 3 months ago. I loved being married! Someone to share private thoughts, jokes, happenings with. Someone to snuggle with without any hitches. Someone I could just rest on. We have 4 dd's and shortly after daddy died the girls wanted to know if I'd be dating again. The 5 yo wanted to know if we could go to the 'Daddy Store'. Broke my already broken heart.

I just want someone to laugh with again. Not now. Eventually. As for the present, I've taken up horse back riding, continue my karate, and keep very busy home educating my 4 dd's. Although, that may change. Seems I will probably have to go back to work. Just another heart break for me.

The Lord must be trying to teach me either humility or flexibility. Whichever it is, I wish the lesson were over.

PinWizard....will keep you in my thoughts.

BTW, anyone notice...only women answered this thread?