okay I have a ?

[yasuern]

My DD 14y/o and I are very close and have no problem talking on many topics - So we were taliking about the 8th grade graduation dance and said "are you going to go with anyone?"

Okay one thing lead to another and I point blank asked if she was gay?

her answer "i'm not sure Mom"

I was in kindergarten when I knew I liked boys

So the ? is when did any of you know you were gay?

Personally I have always thought she was - but whatever her orientation I am not going to push. It doesn't change that she's my daughter and the thing that makes me the proudest is being her Mom



Thanks
Sue

 

[jlewisinsyr]

A) Glad you are being supportive.

B) I always knew, but there is a difference between being accepted and accepting it yourself. Time and support will help your daughter navigate her emotions and feelings.

 

[Uncle Remus]

I guess I was about 5-6, but that's in retrospect.
I started actin' on my feelin's when I was maybe 12-14.

With all the free talk about homosexuality these days, I would think it's not any easier to know when ya just don't know until ya "fall in love," just keep that communications door open.

Best wishes 'n luck to you and your daughter.

 

[PghLybrt]

Wow! Way to be a good mom!!
Although I would have DIED if my mom had asked me (we are not that close.).


I didn't have anyone to talk to about it, so I really didn't get it till I was 17. I did have girlfriends before that though.

I think it would have helped if I did have someone to talk to that acepted it and didnt push me either way. Just someone to listen.

 

[OrlandoMike]

First of all you must be a great parent to even bring this up to her, and to come over here for questions.....

To answer you, from as far back as I can remember. It was a different time back then, you didn't discuss such things, but I always knew.

 

[zeitzeuge]

What a great Mom. I don't know what I would have done if my Mother had flat out asked me.

I knew by the time I was in Junior High, but continued to surpress it all the way until I was 25 years old before I was thrown out of the closet by a friend of mine.

Good luck with your daughter. Sounds like you're handling things

 

[PeterPan09]

I always knew I was different, and that I didn't like the same things as the rest of the girls I knew. I didn't really KNOW until I had my first real crush,which would have been about 12 or so.

You're doing the best thing you can do for your DD. You're telling her you love her no matter what, and that's the best thing she can hear-no matter if she's gay or straight. She won't have the struggles that so many kids do with that support behind her.

 

[soulmates]

Way to go Mom. I have 3 children, the oldest 23, the middle 20 and the baby 13. I honestly think, when their young, middle school...feelings, and emotions and sexuality can be confusing. I know now, it's COOL to be gay. My kids had friends who were gay or bi in highschool and the gay ones, were OHHH so popular. So who knows? Maybe it's all new, hormones, etc. Maybe they are gay...what's important is your talking about it. I'm so glad, we live in a time when our children can be honest with US as parents and themselves about who they are or think they are. I grew up in the 80's and my few gay friends were ALL on the downlow. They lived a very closeted life. Heck, I didn't even know I was, till I met Christy, at age 40!! Keep talking openly and loving unconditionally...it's the best we can do for our children!

 

[AmandaSparks730]

I was her age when I realized that I'm bisexual

Just listen to her, support her, and be there for her through it all, no matter if she's gay/bi/straight.

 

[Timon-n-Pumbaa Fan]

You sound like a great mom. Keeping the lines of communication open is very important. I hope that no matter what path she goes down that on day she will realize just how lucky she is to have you!

I was very young when I realized that I was "different". Long story as to why it was that I didn't come out to myself until I was about 19, but let's just say that I had some road blocks in my way that I doubt your daughter will ever experience.

 

[yasuern]

Thank you all for the insights - I will just be here if she ever needs to talk about anything.


Same sex relationships aren't strange to me or her for that matter as one of my dearest friends is lesbian - I have known Judy ALL MY LIFE literally. DD(Alaina) has known Judy and Beth as a couple well since she was born . I think this is why its easy for me to talk to her about this.




Again thanks

Sue

 

[pixierella]

It's so refreshing that lots of parents in this day and age are very accepting about it. I think if the folks in my age bracket ( late 30s) had accepting parents when we were younger things would have been very different.

I knew I liked both sexes from when I was 11. I had kissed my first girl at that age and just knew it was something right in my feelings.

 

[MonorailMan]

I have to agree that you sound like a great mom.

I was around 6 or 7 when I started "taking notice" of guys, but it wasn't until I moved out of my parents' house that I finally came to the realization that I was gay. Where I grew up it was just something you didn't talk about, so I guess I just refused to pay attention to it. At my high school there was one guy who was openly gay, and he was considered an outcast by most of his classmates. That didn't stop me from peeking at the English teacher and football coach, though.

 

[yasuern]

I don't know the exact name of the coalition/group at my DD High school(she'll be in 9th grade next September) but it is a group with Straight and Gay students together working for greater acceptance in the general student body. Being a teenager is hard enough - I'm glad that our school system will be teaching openess and acceptance - I never use the word "tolerate" its has a icky sound to it Like "I will tolerate doing housework" or something.


Sue

 

[Uncle Remus]

I don't know the exact name of the coalition/group at my DD High school(she'll be in 9th grade next September) but it is a group with Straight and Gay students together working for greater acceptance in the general student body. Being a teenager is hard enough - I'm glad that our school system will be teaching openess and acceptance - I never use the word "tolerate" its has a icky sound to it Like "I will tolerate doing housework" or something.


Sue

That tolerate game, I don't buy into it either.

 

[NikkiPants]

It's great that you are so supportive!
I knew I was gay when I was younger but didn't want to deal with it or admit it until I was 14 or so. My dad used to joke because my sister was in love with the Karate Kid when we were little and I was in love with Judy Garland. My sister wanted the Karate Kid to rescue her and I wanted to be Judy's hero...lol. But everyone goes at their own pace. I have friends who still haven't come out at 25 and we all know they are gay. Even if your daughter does know that she's gay, she may not be willing to admit it to herself and may need time to accept herself, too.
It's so great that you are so open with her about it!
A lot of highschools have GSA [Gay Straight Alliance] or something along those lines for groups. She should look into it when she goes to highschool and maybe find comfort in her peers as well as her home!

 

[hematite153]

It's great that you asked.

But, I think not knowing can be legitimate. I didn't know for a long time, then I knew (I was about 15 and "knew" that I was a lesbian), then I didn't know again (I was 16 and fell in love with a boy). Then, I spent many years in confusion before I came to a point of definition.

I'm bi, but, my attractions to men and women are quite different--gender does matter to me, but, in a way that is different from the way others experience it.

In the end, I was 26 before I really knew.

 

[disneydiva0729]

Good Job Mom :

My story is sorta diff. When I was growing up, I didn't really know any gay people that well and I was always sort of a Disney princess. I dreamed of having the perfect wedding with a knight in shining armor and lots of kids and all that jazz... always thought my feelings towards other women was "natural". I had lots of boyfriends in junior high til tenth grade and just went through the motions passionlessly. Then, in tenth grade, I met this girl and although we weren't together long, she introduced me to a whole new lifestyle, and that's when I realized I was different. I came out to my parents in tenth grade and started dating my current partner my senior year of hs... four and a half years ago.

My partner... shes different. Her aunt and cousin are both lesbians, so she knew lots about being gay. She had a crush on her first grade teacher. Thats when she knew.

Everybody's different, and everyone realizes at different times. I wasn't in junior high that long ago and its such a confusing time to be in. I wouldn't go back there if you gave me a million dollars (maybe a million trips to Disney but not a million dollars)... Just give her time. She'll find her self, either way, especially knowing she has your support.

Keep up the good work!